"So, Isago, who's the brat?" A woman, presumably Isago's sensei snickered and waggled her eyebrows, "You wouldn't believe what I just heard about you two."
She's rather short, brown-haired with slate grey eyes. The standard jonin uniform of Suna is a little too big on her despite looking like she should be in her twenties. A large scroll is strapped onto her back along with what seem to be calligraphy brushes.
It'd only been about ten minutes since Sasori met Isago and the woman already knows about it, did news always travel so fast in Suna?
Isago doesn't seem to find his sensei's information gathering abilities to be unusual,
"Hn." 'Shut up, lady.'
"Rude. Is that any way to treat your sensei?" Sasori pokes Isago in the leg.
The woman snorts, rolling her eyes at Isago's antics. The teen in question's expression is as flat as ever but an air of disapproval radiates from him.
"Please kid, he does that all the time. He's not the most talkative."
Sasori blinks owlishly back at her. "He tells you to shut up constantly? I don't know whether I should be amused or horrified."
"When did he say 'shut up'? Isago? Wait," She squints scrutinizing her student's face carefully, "No way, he actually can understand you! Even I have to judge by your expressions and that's because I'm your super awesome and hot sensei."
A rather...unhinged grin stretches across her face, not unlike the one that is usually seen on sadistic murderers stalking their next prey. Sasori isn't sure which one of them is her prey, him or Isago. He's really hoping it's the latter because Isago's sensei looks to be full of crazy and lacking in some much-needed sanity.
"Please stop." Appearing to out of his depth, Isago sidles closer to Sasori in an attempt to distance himself from his sensei.
Oh no, you don't. I offer you a tribute.
As if hearing his internal screaming, Isago glances over at Sasori to give him an unimpressed 'please-help' look. Sasori pretends that they don't have a telepathic thing going on and he stares back blankly while sweating bullets. This is why he shouldn't go with strangers to meet even more strangers.
"Shush, you! I have a cute kid to coo over! I accept this sacrifice you've somehow obtained. How did you ever manage to get his parents to let go of him?" Sasori dodges her attempt to pinch his cheeks, scowling, "I know I would never let my kid out of my sight if he's this cute!"
She captures him anyway, stupid jonin and their stupid ninja skills.
"My parents are dead. Six feet under. Hopefully. If they're buried. If they're not, I'll murder the one who dared to be so disrespectful to the deceased." That stopped her attempts to baby him immediately.
He's not sure this is a good thing because she has a different look in her eyes now, it's akin to someone finding out that their favorite plush is actually possessed by an evil spirit but with a whole lot more glee added in.
Sasori resists the urge to run away and hide with his grandmother's succulents. Maybe he can convince Isago to carry him, Isago is much faster than him with more experience. Then they can run far, far away from this crazy woman.
"Wow. How old is he?"
Sasori sighs, today had started out so well too,
"I'm five."
He emphasizes the last word as if that'll make this crazy woman restrain from inflicting the full brunt of her madness on him. Sasori is sure that it won't work, but it doesn't he's not going to at least try.
"Ah. By any chance a relation to Chiyo-san?" She questions, more subdued this time, but still energetic enough to be annoying. And terrifying, her bubbliness is terrifying.
"Yes, why?"
Isago's sensei laughs, is she always so cheerful? Five minutes of her presence and she hasn't shown more than two modes: Cheerful and insanely happy. With an emphasis on the insane.
"Word around the street is that she has a prodigy grandson stashed away in her big house," She puts him through the same scrutiny Isago went through, "And from the way you talk, I can tell that you're definitely something."
Sasori snorts, that's an understatement if he's ever seen one. "Just something?"
She's back to grinning like a loon,
"Ha! I like you kid, call me Harue-sensei and we got a deal."
"What deal?" Sasori says slowly, he knows better than make deals he doesn't know the full terms of or have the most to benefit from it.
She shrugs. "Whatever reason Isago brought you here."
They both look at Isago expectantly, he blinks at the sudden shift in focus before responding in a matter of fact tone that has to have been practiced,
"Teach him fuinjutsu."
"Crazy dude says what now?" Sasori gives Isago an incredulous look. What in their meeting and conversation equated to that? All Sasori did was crash into him painfully.
Well, Sasori crashed painfully, Isago didn't appear to be any worse for wear.
What is he made of? Bricks? Crashing into him is worse than crashing into that random old lady's wall.
Said teen ignores him and continues, staring his teacher down intently,
"He has potential. He's creative. And weird."
"I take offense to that. I'm not weird. I'm unique." He pokes Isago in the leg again. Inwardly, however, Sasori is flattered. He hasn't even known Isago for an hour and the teen has already labeled him as "weird". It must be a new record. Even the children at the park took a couple of visits to properly intimidate. Honestly, some of them—Komushi—still haven't gotten a hint, Sasori wants nothing to do with them and it's only his manners that prevent him from throwing a tantrum every time one of them decides to touch his hair. Yes, he knows that it's a very vibrant red, he also knows that it's very soft—Sasori didn't spend a good half hour playing with his hair that one time without figuring out that it's ridiculously soft.
But. They. Won't. Stop. Touching. His. Hair.
"I'm liking him even more. Amusing, adorable, and just as eccentric as the rest of our little team. What do you say about learning how to make explosive tags, kiddo?" Harue-san smiles down at him, showing far more teeth than what is considered polite. Not that he's paying much attention to that now because he's busy discerning if she's serious when she mentioned explosive tags.
On one hand, he could definitely benefit, on another...he's not sure he'll survive.
"What team?" Isago inquires.
"You, me, myself, I, and most likely this little hellion. Don't deny it, I saw how your face lit up when I said explosive tag." Harue gestures to Sasori at the last bit. Sasori has to wonder why she only has one student, maybe it's an apprenticeship?
Wait, no, there are more important things to be considered, like how he'll get out of this encounter alive with his sanity and dignity intact.
"Sensei, no. No explosive tags." It would appear that Isago finally noticed what his sensei wanted to teach Sasori.
Harue-san pouts,
"Why not? Look at him! He's so excited!"
"He's five." With the way Isago's usually straight posture slumping ever so slightly, he'd already conceded defeat.
"Five and a budding little demon." Harue-san "reasons", Sasori still isn't sure whether he should take her epithets for him as compliments.
"Sensei, no." Isago tries again before Harue-san waves his objection off.
"Cool it, Isago, you aren't winning this one."
Isago deflates before turning to Sasori with concern in amber eyes,
"Please don't die."
You and me both, Isago, you and me both.
Five months later.
Sasori reaches out to grab another sheet of paper to fold into flower, he blinks at the explosive tag in his hand in surprise. Had he run out of paper already?
Harue-sensei had made good on her words, he's now scarily efficient at creating explosive tags. Her training had been something straight out of hell, leaving a lasting mark on his subconscious. Which was apparently enough for him to randomly doodle explosive tags when he's not paying attention. A very bad habit to have when a stray strand of chakra can blow him sky high
Chiyo had been horrified, immediately taking away all of the tags he created and banning him from brushes and paper until he stops.
But now he's faced with a problem, he's reached the end of his secret origami paper supply.
Guess this explosive tag will just have to do.
Origami is considered art, is it not? Will a folded up explosive tag still explode?
He can't quite describe the emotion that settles in his chest, something three-eighths nostalgia, four-eighths sorrow, and one-eighth amusement.
Oh. Art is an explosion. Happy now, Deidara?
Even though it isn't possible because Deidara isn't even alive yet, he could have sworn that someone screamed "Katsu!" in the distance.
Seriously, his overly emotional brain has to stop, he's never even met Deidara beyond episodes of an anime he hadn't ever truly finished. Speaking of which, he should definitely start writing things down so he doesn't forget later.
If only Chiyo hadn't expropriated all of his paper.
Previously:
Harue-sensei grins demonically, enjoying Sasori's impending doom,
"Isago, you know what to do when the brat messes up a seal."
"Shit, owww!" Sasori curses, holding his abused knee. Thank kami Isago is considerate enough to use blunted kunai. He would have been kneecapped otherwise, but wait, why did Isago aim for his knee in the first place?
Oh right, he'd been taught by Harue-sensei, brutal and violent attacks should come as second nature by now.
"Another one for saying a bad word. Seriously, how is he five again?"
"Motherf—" Sasori tries to muffle the curse that slips out anyway. It's hard to pay attention when both his knees are trembling.
"Another, Isago." Harue-sensei practically sings.
Isago is devoid of any visible reaction as ever, but Sasori can tell he's nervous, they have this weird communication thing,
"Yes, Sensei." 'I'm sorry.'
"It's fine." Sasori wheezes in between painful breaths. They've been saying that to each other a lot lately.
Son of a—
Isago sends another kunai aimed at his elbow this time, thankfully, Sasori manages to dodge this one,
"No cursing, little scorpion."
Harue-sensei just continues cackling in the background.
"This one looks horrible! What is your calligraphy? Fuinjutsu is an art! You went ahead and desecrated it with your chicken scratch!" Harue-sensei screeches in rage, her arms waving wildly as if it would make Sasori understand her frustration.
He doesn't, as long as the seal works, who cares about how it looks? It's not like puppetry where everything is a show, an act put up for the audience. In that case, aesthetics are everything.
"Of course, Harue-sensei."
She stops her hand waving and bend down to look him in the eye intensely, it doesn't make her appear to be more serious, just more deranged.
"If you fail to impress me with the next one, it's target practice with you and Isago."
Target practice means that he gets to run around and try not to get hit by Isago's blunted weapons. To be fair, Isago did try to miss purposefully in the beginning to spare him the pain. But Harue-sensei was having none of that and used both of them for targets instead. She didn't bother using blunted weapons and her trip wire was absolute hell, Sasori doesn't even know when she managed to get it everywhere. By everywhere, he means everywhere.
She didn't actually try to hit him...that much.
Small mercies.
Deep breath, Sasori, once you learn this, you never have to see her again. Think of all the explosive tags you'll be able to gleefully launch at your enemies.
"Now this is what I call a proper explosive tag!" Harue-sensei crows happily.
Isago gives him a small nod in acknowledgment,
"Congratulations." 'On your freedom from our crazy sensei'
Before Sasori can reply, Harue-sensei's focus is back on him,
"Don't think you're off the hook, kiddo, I'll be making sure you're continuing your calligraphy practice. Who knows, you might have a surprise as your jonin sensei."
Oh no. NOPE. Not happening. He is not coming back for round two!
"Please don't Harue-sensei."
Harue-sensei pouts, but her eyes are still glittering with unholy mirth,
"Awww, kid, but you're already calling me sensei!"
"No." He needs to stop this from progressing into an actual plan. Otherwise, he would actually get Harue-sensei for his jonin-sensei when he graduates.
Sasori still hasn't had the chance to get back at her for the glitter. When he got better at dodging, she started throwing glitter bombs so even if he dodges them, the area effect still catches him off guard and he's covered in hideously clashing colors. At the end of the day, he'd look like a disco ball and spend the rest of the evening sitting in a bath trying to get all the glitter out of his precious hair.
It does, however, make him stronger. While Harue-sensei has her bombs filled with glitter, Sasori knows that the enemy will have something much more lethal. Therefore, having the ability to react quickly and assess the situation might save his life in the future.
But that doesn't mean he has to enjoy having glitter everywhere,
"I need to convert you from puppetry to the fuinjutsu corps!"
He stops, surprised at the new information,
"The fuinjutsu corps exist?"
Harue-sensei continues on oblivious to his confusion, obviously ecstatic Sasori is taking interest in her division,
"Yup! Suna's pretty well known for its fuinjutsu!"
Really now, I wonder what changed. Canon always painted Suna as dismal in the fuinjutsu department. Gaara never got a proper seal from my grandmother.
Yay, new character!
Harue-sensei will be important later, she's just Sasori's self-appointed sensei at the moment... (evil laughter)
Anyway, I might not be able to write as much in the coming weeks due to going to a sleepaway camp for a couple of weeks. Just a heads up when I disappear for some time.
I still can't figure out some future plot points as well as how to make it all work out...hopefully, inspiration strikes or I have to make excuses for why some things are happening. But all that is after the third war so we have some time.
Academy will happen roughly around chapter ten, maybe a little later if I take more time to flesh out the first arc.
While Sasori is still five, does anyone have any ideas for pairings? (Crack ships work, I'll probably just make them an omake chapter if I like them enough.) I know I haven't introduced many characters yet, but that should change once the Academy arc kicks off. I personally don't have very many pairings in mind (none at all actually...wait there is one but...hmmm...) and the fic won't be focusing on it, but I'll be happy to take suggestions!
Thanks!
Mizu
