Gilbert felt a small, warm figure in his arms, he smelt a sweet honey like scent, he opened his eyes to see he was holding Matthew and lying on his couch. He looked at Matthew's face, taking in all of the details in his expression, and smiled, seeing the small curve in his mouth, everything about him was just so relaxed. Gilbert gently brushed some straying locks of hair out of Matthew's eyes.

"I know you're watching me," Matthew said softly and smiled, not opening his eyes.

"Are you telling me to stop?"

"No," he squinted one eye open and leaned his head up and swiftly gave Gilbert a kiss, "I'm going to go make breakfast, do you like pancakes?"

"Who doesn't?" Gilbert asked jokingly as Matthew got up.

"Wow Birdie, these are amazing," Gilbert said as he finished his plate.

"More like they were, but thanks," Matthew smiled.

"Oh, right, well they were amazing then."

"Isn't your brother going to be worried that you didn't come home last night?" Matthew asked.

"Naw, I texted him once you fell asleep," Gilbert admitted.

"So, you were awake both when I fell asleep and woke up, I don't think that's fair at all," Matthew fake pouted.

"Aww poor pumpkin, you didn't get to watch me sleep, I'm sure that you'll get a chance eventually."

"Pumpkin?"

"Okay, I admit, I regretted it as soon as I said it, it's weird."

They sat there talking for hours and all that time Matthew felt a pang of guilt, for the secret he hadn't told anyone and how it would affect Gilbert if their relationship ever went anywhere.

"Mattie? You seem distracted with something," Gilbert asked in concern.

"I'm fine, you keep asking me that."

"I'm just worried about you, that's all."

"There's no need, I promise," Matthew answered.

"Are you sure? I mean, you can't possibly be completely fine with things being the way they are."

Matthew looked startled, 'how could he possibly know that? I haven't said anything to anyone.'

"If I was in your position I don't think I would be acting so calm," Gilbert smiled, "You know what? We should go out for a drink; that always makes me feel a bit better, what do you say?"

Matthew thought for a while, "Why not? There's a pub just a few blocks down from here."


Gilbert and Matthew sat at a booth in the corner of the small pub with a several empty bottles on the table.

"It's getting a bit warm in here isn't it?" Matthew asked with a very slight slur in his voice.

"Well you are wearing a thick hoodie, to be completely honest," Gilbert pointed out.

"I guess that's true," He said as he took it off, "Then again you're wearing a hoodie too."

"Mine must be thinner then."

"Perhaps," he said as he reached to get his drink, exposing his wrist.

"Mattie, are those what I think they are?" he asked seeing the faint scars. Matthew retracted his arm back, but the damage was already done, Gilbert had seen them, "You know it's ok," He said as he pulled up his sleeve and showed Matthew that he also had many scars along his forearm as well. Matthew looked at Gilbert in surprise, he laughed, "Nobody is perfect, we all have a past. Just promise me that you won't do it again, those look pretty recent, know that I'll always be here if you need someone to talk to," He said as he pulled him into a hug.

"Thanks Gil, I appreciate it."

"It's no problem, I know what you're going through, well okay, I don't know the reason that you have done it, but I know how it feels to be going through something that causes you so much pain that you think you have to turn to that."

"I think I've had enough to drink," Matthew hiccupped.

"I think you've had enough too, let's go," He flagged down their waitress and paid, "Let's get you home."

"Okay, are you staying tonight too?" Matthew asked.

"Well, considering how much I've had to drink I suppose so," He laughed.

"I'm good with that," Matthew smiled.


Ring

Ring

Ring

"Ugh, what?" Gilbert answered his phone.

"Where are you!" it was Ludwig, "Feli and I have been waiting for you to get home since you said you'd be back before midnight."

"Bro, when'll you stop worrying about me? I'm like 3 years older than you, seriously," He replied sleepily.

"Gilbert, you do live in my basement, so when you don't come home, you could be anywhere, and I wouldn't know. I feel responsible for you, I don't care that you're older than me. Ever since we were kids I defended you whenever Grandpa got mad at you, so now I feel that I still need to protect you."

"Lud, I'm fine, I'm just at Matthew's again, and we had a few drinks, so I decided to stay over again, ok? Really, I'm a responsible adult, I just forgot to text you, sorry. I'll most likely be home tomorrow."

"Okay, just tell me next time this happens, okay?"

"I'll try, bye."

"Bye."

Click.

"Mhmm," Matthew stirred, "who called?"

"Just Ludwig, I forgot to tell him I'd be staying another night."

"Way to go," he said with sleep lacing his words.

"It's just that I'm supposed to be the one taking care of him, and worrying when he doesn't come home, or anything like that. It isn't his job to act like a parent to me, it's mine. You know what I mean?"

"Well, I can't say that that I've been there, but I can understand where you're coming from."

"Yeah, I guess we both have over protective brothers," Gilbert stated.

Matthew laughed, "I guess so," he was quiet for a few moments, "Do you think that I was too harsh on him? I mean, I just kicked him out, like that and, uhg, I don't know!"

"Birdie, you did what you thought was right, he was being a total hypocrite and you just stood up for yourself. It was a choice that needed to be made, and you had to show him that he can't control your life. And it's not like you're never going to see each other again, both of you are very stubborn, from what I've seen, and it's going to take a lot more than you kicking him out for you and him to never speak again," He smiled.

"I guess," he replied, "you know you're probably going to have to go home tomorrow, otherwise I don't think Ludwig will be quite pleased with me."

"Probably," he laughed.

"What time is it anyway?" Matthew asked.

Gilbert looked at his phone, "It's two in the morning, wow Lud is even more obsessive than I thought he was."

"Wow, okay, I'm going back to sleep."


Author's note: gahhhhh I'm so sorry this is taking so long, I just have NOT had time with school and everything, so I hope you guys still want to read this and such

I'm sorryyyy, I'll try to update more often