"Ok, I'm ready," Mia called from Darren's bathroom before emerging out into the living room. Darren turned to see his fake girlfriend in a stunning black dress that hugged her in all the right places. Even though he knew he was gay, Darren couldn't deny Mia's beauty as she walked towards him. It was a good thing, truthfully, since he had to pretend to be thoroughly attracted to her all night. He smiled at her as she looked him up and down in his polished suit.

"You look great, Mia," he said genuinely, still grateful that even though she didn't know about his secret, she was still willing to play pretend with him. He and Mia had dated back in college, but Darren always called her up for important events such as this, because he knew a true straight actor would have a woman by his side in those situations, even if he wasn't dating anyone.

"And you look incredibly handsome," she said, reaching out to lay her hands on his chest, making his stomach drop a little. "Shall we go?" Mia grinned at him as she took hold of Darren's arm. Darren forced a smile, suddenly nervous, and led her outside towards their limo. It was going to be a long night.

The limo stopped and Darren looked out the heavily tinted window at the bright red carpet that spread across the ground under the hundreds of interviewers and photographers and onlookers that stood behind barriers and security guards. Lots of celebrities were already there and being piled around the roped barriers with cameras flashing at them and microphones being shoved in their faces. Darren swallowed the lump in his throat. He hated the media, that was for sure. They had no boundaries; they didn't care about the celebrities' personal feelings or what they may not want to share. All they cared about was the money, and they knew that if someone of large prominence on that carpet slipped up and told them something deep or personal, they could exploit them and their salaries would shoot skyward. Sickening, Darren thought.

He was pulled back to reality when Mia tugged at his arm. "Ok, Boo. You ready?"

Darren took a deep breath, looked over at Mia and nodded. "As much as I'll ever be."

His publicist had explained to him that he could talk about his reaction to the latest episode, but nothing else regarding Glee. Darren made a mental note to only talk about his reaction to the episode itself, not about shooting it. That would not blow over well.

Mia smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek, making his stomach do that funny drop again. He knew they had to show enough PDA to look like a couple at this thing, but did they have to do it while they were still inside the limo? But he lost his train of thought as his publicist opened the car door to let them out, letting the flashes of cameras and the cheers of fans and paparazzi flood in. Darren blinked as he got out, then turned around and helped Mia to her feet. The sequins on her black dress sparkled as the cameras turned towards the pair of them. "Darren Criss has just arrived!" He heard a man commenting in front of a video camera. Darren summoned his best photo-smile as they walked down the carpet, between the two crowded rows of shouting photographers and screaming fans.

Pretty soon, he and Mia had to part ways so they could pose by themselves in front of the large wall meant for professional photographs. Darren hated this part almost as much as the interviews. As the cameras got more and more high-tech each year, the flashes got brighter and brighter. This year, it only took a few snaps to blind him completely. He closed his eyes after a moment and shook his head, trying to rid the bright patches of light in front of his eyes that whitened his vision. After a few more minutes of this torture, the photographers finally gave him a break and he was able to move toward the interviewers' section. As soon as he got there, people began shouting his name for him to come and talk. He walked up to the first microphone he could find.

"Hi Darren!" The interviewer shouted way too loud for his liking, grinning from ear to ear. She held the microphone up to his face.

"Hey," He replied, trying not to sound annoyed but rather enthusiastic. "How's it going?"

"Very good, thank you! Let's talk about last Tuesday's episode! I mean, how crazy was that? Your character Blaine and Chris Colfer's Kurt decide to take things to the next level and have sex for the first time. How did you feel about that?"

Darren thought a moment. Don't screw this up. "I mean, it wasn't all that bad, clearly they didn't show anything explicit, which is good." Smooth, Darren. "I don't know, I think it might have done some good for people to see that. It's no secret that kids are having sex in high school, but with Kurt and Blaine's relationship, it wasn't really about the sex, it was about their love for each other. I think that's something people will appreciate, because yes it was two boys having sex, but it really showed that they love each other and meant something to them."

"Mhmm," The interviewer hummed when she brought the microphone back to herself. "So, what about shooting that scene? Was it scary, or what?"

Shit. Not even five minutes into an interview and the one subject he wanted to avoid was already being brought up. "Uh…" he stumbled through the words in his mind. He had to lie. "It just felt like work, you know? It was just a scene like any other scene, and once I tapped into Blaine mode it went pretty smoothly." Ha, he thought to himself. Maybe if I HAD tapped into Blaine mode it would have gone over smoothly.

The interviewer seemed a little disappointed at his answer, but let him go with it. Each interview afterwards was about the same: What did you think of the content of last Tuesday's episode? How nerve-racking was the shooting? What can we expect with episodes to come? The latter he successfully avoided, making the excuse that he'd be fired if he were to give out any spoilers. It was kind of true, actually.

By the time Darren finally squeezed past all the interviewers and photographers and video cameras, he found Mia already sitting at their table. He joined her and looked around the table, noticing that most of the Glee cast had not gotten through the red carpet yet.

"Hey, babe," Mia greeted him, leaning in to kiss him on the lips. Figuring that there was probably at least one camera on them, Darren kissed her back. He knew it would look odd if he pulled back when his "girlfriend" was kissing him.

But kissing Mia was strange. Back in college when they dated, he felt just fine kissing her. Her kisses were soft and warm, but they always lacked something. Now, he realized, it was the masculinity that he needed in a kiss; a strong mouth sliding on his, muscled arms encircling his body, deep, guttural moans elicited against his lips. Mia clearly just didn't have that.

Throughout the evening, Darren and Mia showed enough PDA every once in a while so the media doesn't get suspicious. Darren pretended to be enjoying himself, but it just felt plain wrong. Mia, after all, wasn't Chris, whom Darren could kiss all night and day if he had the time. When he kissed Chris, there was no question about it. Their lips fit together with perfection, and every need Darren had ever had would become fulfilled when he was in Chris' arms. That's just the way it was.

He looked over and spotted Chris talking to an interviewer. Darren watched him from his seat, admiring the trademark smile and adorable laugh that could still be heard over the noisy crowd. He smiled to himself. That man was truly perfect, everything Darren had wanted in a boyfriend and lover. He wanted more than anything at that moment to go up Chris and kiss him on the cheek and hold him in his arms. Darren wanted to tell that gorgeous boy that he loved him, but he also knew that wasn't possible.

And he did love Chris, truly he did; but he just couldn't ignore all the video and photography cameras, the microphones, any and all journalistic equipment that meant that they were being watched and heard and recorded, and that anything said or done in such a public place would be all over the media in no time at all. A single man's career, theoretically, could be destroyed in a matter of hours.

The thought scared Darren to the point that when he looked at Chris in such a crowded place as this, he didn't actually see Chris; instead, he saw all the hundreds of possibilities that his secret could get loose, that his entire ego and pride could crash and burn. And when he looked at Chris while they were each surrounded by camera lights flashing in their eyes and audio equipment being pushed in their faces, his heart did a funny drop in his chest, like he knew there was no way they could be together in the face of the media like Lea and Cory could, or even like Darren could be with Mia. Yes, he loved Chris with all his heart, but his mind took over in situations like this and when it came to being rational, his entire relationship with Chris was irrational, especially to the eyes of the world.

So, they couldn't tell anyone; although, it really wasn't all that bad. It was just his personal life, after all. And when considering everything else about Darren—Co-founder of Team Starkid, Talented and Popular Musician/Song Writer, Breakout Star from the hit show Glee—his personal life really didn't seem all that important. Besides, what mattered was his goal in life, his goal for equality, and to achieve that would mean focusing nearly 100% on his career anyway. So, he would continue to sacrifice his personal life—his real self, his and Chris' true relationship, his absolute love for Chris—for his goal, because he knew that was the least selfish thing to do. That was what mattered.

Darren blinked back to reality as another wave of applause erupted from the crowd, celebrating another person's Emmy win. He wasn't paying attention to any of the winners, as selfish as that was. He couldn't take his eyes off Chris, who was now sitting in his designated chair a few tables away, and his heart leapt in his chest every so often when Chris would turn to glance his way, a shy smile appearing on his face.

Mia was getting a little restless beside him. They hadn't showed any PDA in the past ten minutes, and it seemed to be bothering her a lot more than it would bother the media. "Darren!" she shouted over the applause, putting down her third glass of wine in attempt to get his attention.

Darren looked over at her, then immediately wished he hadn't. Mia reached out and pulled his face toward hers, crashing their lips together. He almost gagged as her alcohol-soaked tongue forced its way past his lips, but he kept his composure enough to regretfully kiss her back. No doubt people were looking over at them, and he heard a few 'Aww's coming from around the table as his cast mates beamed at them. When Darren opened his eyes for a brief moment, time slowed down as he saw Chris looking over at them from his table. His mouth was slightly open and his eyes showed several different emotions. It wasn't like he was angry at Darren; they'd talked briefly a few days ago about how he and Mia needed to go together to this event, and he knew Chris completely understood what that would mean. But the look Chris gave him wasn't of anger; it was of jealousy.

Finally, Mia let go of Darren's face and broke the kiss for them to breathe. He gave her a weak smile and quickly took a big gulp of his wine. Looking up, he was pleased to see that the Emmys were coming to a close, and people were already getting ready to leave for the after party.

Darren and Mia got up and made their way to the exit. Just before they could make it outside, Chris appeared at Darren's side and began tugging him away from Mia. "I'll meet you in the limo," Darren called to Mia just in time before Chris successfully pulled him inside the nearest bathroom. He shut the door and pushed Darren up against it.

"You can't just do that," Chris growled in his ear, his voice dripping with arousal. His fingernails dug into the thick fabric of the suit covering Darren's chest. "You can't make out with your fake fucking girlfriend in front of me like that. You don't understand what you do to me, Dare."

Darren looked deep into Chris' dark eyes. He couldn't help the smirk that settled on his lips. "What do you want from me, Chris?" He asked, surprising himself with how low his voice already was.

Chris groaned out as Darren pulled his hips toward him. "I want you, Darren. I need you. You aren't going to that after party. After you drop off Mia at wherever the hell she lives, you're going home. I'll be waiting." And with that, Chris pulled Darren off the door, opened it, and disappeared into the hustling crowd outside.

After standing dumbly transfixed for quite some time, Darren did as he was told, finding Mia after he exited the bathroom and leading her back to the limo. He ordered the driver to go to Mia's house, then explained to her that he was feeling way too tired to go to the after party. "Oh," she said, looking disappointed. "I guess that's ok, at least I got to go to the awards part. Thanks, sweetie." Darren allowed her one last kiss goodnight, not wanting to tell her just yet about his real sexuality. Sure, Mia was accepting to the LGBT community, but she didn't take too well to people that lied to her, especially for as long as Darren had been. Plus, he could tell she still wanted to be with him.

After Mia left the limo when it pulled up to her house, Darren directed the driver back to his house. When they arrived, he noticed Chris' car already pulled into the driveway. Adrenaline began pumping through his veins as he tipped the driver and climbed out of the limo. He practically ran inside his own house. When he opened the door and stepped inside, he found Chris sitting on the couch, still in his suit from the awards show.

"About time," Chris deadpanned, smirking up at Darren. The second he stood up, Darren was on him. He swung his arms around Chris' waist and pulled him close, crashing their lips together, loving how Chris' lips tasted like Diet Coke and were nothing like Mia's. He led Chris to his bedroom, lips still attached, and threw him down on the bed. He climbed on top of him and allowed Chris' tongue access into his mouth. They made out passionately on the bed for what felt like forever. "Oh, god," Chris moaned when they pulled apart for air. "Darren, you can't possibly know how desperately I needed you. Back there, at that crowded ceremony, I wanted so bad to be on your lips, tasting you in front of everybody... Mia doesn't deserve you." His voice drifted at the last part, going quiet.

Darren looked down into Chris' pleading eyes and felt a pang of guilt. He'd made Chris go through all that, watching him make out with Mia, not letting anyone know that it was actually Chris that he loved. "Chris," Darren said gently, stroking the younger man's cheek, "I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have had to go through that. It was wrong of me to bring Mia, so next time I won't. I love you so much, and I never want to hurt you."

Chris' eyes sparkled, and he brought Darren's face down to his and kissed him gently. "It's ok, Darren," he spoke against his lips. "I know that you had to look like a couple, and I was prepared to see what I did. I love you too, forever and always."

Darren smiled and kissed Chris again, moaning a little against his mouth. He dipped his hips down against Chris', loving the friction created between them and the way Chris writhed beneath him. He began kissing down his beautiful, pale neck. "Chris," Darren said again, panting this time and barely above a whisper in his ear, "I… I want you inside me. I need to feel you in me; I want you so bad…"

Chris pulled Darren off his neck and looked him in the eye. "Are you sure?" He asked quietly, eyebrows raised in concern. "We've never done that before…"

"I want to try. I trust you." Darren promised him. Chris stared back at him for a few moments, and then nodded.

"Ok", he said, and in one quick motion he flipped them over so Darren was on his back and Chris was settled between his legs. He bent down over Darren's body and caught his lips in a fierce, loving kiss. Darren brought his hands up to cup Chris' face, moaning out at the way his spine tingled when Chris cocked his head to the side to deepen the kiss. Warm hands traced gentle patterns along the skin on Darren's chest, arms, and down to rest on his thighs. "Too many clothes," Chris panted out when they broke apart.

Darren nodded and began tugging Chris' suit off while Chris worked on Darren's waistband. Soon all their clothes were piled at the foot of Darren's bed, and neither one cared about how expensive it would be if their rented suits were ruined. Chris pushed Darren back into the mattress and continued kissing him, trailing his lips from his mouth down to his neck and chest, making sure to leave enough marks on Darren's skin to remember this night for days to come.

Chris sat up a little and reached out for the drawer in Darren's side table where the lube was kept. He squirted a little on his fingers, then recapped the bottle and tossed it aside. He moved his body so he hovered over Darren's bottom half. "Ok, Darren, this is going to feel… different," Chris told him, biting his lip in concern. Darren could tell that he was worried about hurting him. "I promise, I'll go slowly."

Darren just nodded, not being able to move his mouth to form coherent words at the moment. He trusted Chris with his life, but he couldn't get over the fact of what they were about to do. Chris was right; they'd never done it this way before. He remembered their first time, and how Chris was so tight and tried his best to relax around Darren. He could tell it hurt him, at least in the beginning, and now Chris was afraid of doing the same to Darren.

He shivered when he felt Chris' cold, lubed-up finger rub around his entrance. Chris slowly slid the first finger inside the tight ring of muscle, and Darren let out a gasp at the feeling. It was different, but it didn't hurt, at least not yet. Honestly, he figured Chris couldn't hurt him; he was too careful, too graceful with his movements to ever harm a soul, which is why the inevitable pain he felt when Chris slid in a second finger surprised him.

"I'm so sorry, Dare," Chris whispered and rubbed his hip soothingly as Darren winced in pain. "I'm trying not to hurt you, it's just—God, you're so tight. But you're doing good, Darren, you're so good."

Darren began to relax around Chris' fingers, and nodded for Chris to start moving again. Before long, both fingers were fully sheathed inside him, and Darren couldn't help the cry he let out when Chris crooked his fingers so the tips met his prostate. "Chris! Oh, god…"

He began whimpering in pleasure as Chris worked his fingers inside of him. After adding a third slick finger, Chris shifted his weight so he hovered over Darren, one elbow propped up to support him. Darren had to close his eyes at the sensations Chris was making him feel. He opened them several moments later, and looked up deep into Chris' eyes. "Please," was all he could say between moans, but the younger man still got the idea and nodded, leaning down to kiss him quickly on the lips. He pulled his fingers out slowly, but Darren still groaned at the loss.

Chris took the bottle of lube and dripped some over his cock. After a few quick pumps, his length was coated and shiny with lube, and he positioned himself so he was hovering over Darren again, his cock an inch from his entrance. He waited until Darren gave him a nod of approval before pushing the tip against his hole, easing himself forward until the tip was inside. Darren threw his head back and moaned loudly. Chris was so much bigger than he'd expected, and he shut his eyes again as he was filled up.

He began whimpering for more, and Chris dropped his head to swallow Darren's quiet murmurs with his own mouth. "Shhhh, Dare," he whispered against his lips when his dick slid all the way in, making the older man gasp and whimper beneath him. "I've got you, baby, I've got you."

Darren wanted to cry at how incredibly gentle and loving Chris was being. He wasn't hurting at all anymore, and Chris' thick length inside him was doing things to him that he couldn't even begin to describe. Was I nearly this gentle to Chris the first time? He asked himself, recalling that night and remembering how quickly Chris got over the pain and was eager for more. It was an amazing night, and Chris had said it felt fantastic, but this… What Chris was doing to him, he suddenly wished he'd gone at the same slow pace for Chris the first time. This way, he could feel every little movement Chris made inside him, every little kiss he showered onto his face, every soft-spoken word against his lips.

When his dick was fully inside Darren, Chris stilled his movements. He brought one hand up to push away the curls that lay on Darren's sweat-soaked forehead and press a single kiss there. Darren opened his eyes and looked up at Chris, who was watching him with a big, loving gaze. His heart leapt in his chest not for the first time that night, just knowing that this man loved him every bit as much as Darren loved him back.

"Move—pl-please, move," Darren whispered to his lover, his voice deep and raspy. Chris nodded, smiling down at him, and gently brought his hips back. Once he was nearly all the way out, Chris thrust entirely back inside him, still careful not to hurt him. Darren let out a groan and his eyes went back into his head as Chris' dick pushed up against his prostate perfectly. He arched his back so their chests collided, and Chris wrapped his arms around Darren's waist to keep him close.

Darren couldn't stop the sounds that escaped his lips. He was caught between wanting to fuck himself down further on Chris' length, or buck his hips upward towards the much-needed friction for his dick between their bodies. He'd never felt so alive; this is what it is like to be fucked, but more than anything, this was making love. He reached up and tugged on Chris' hair, pulling him into a heated, messy kiss with tongue and teeth and hot breaths. They groaned into each other's mouths; neither had felt this way before, and it somehow made them feel impossibly closer to each other.

Chris shifted his body upwards slightly, so Darren's thighs were spread further apart. Darren hooked his legs together around Chris' waist, allowing Chris better access and deeper thrusts into him. He was now pumping inside him at a much faster speed, his head bent down to nip at Darren's exposed neck, kissing his Adams apple when he swallowed. Darren's hands were tangled in Chris' hair, pulling him closer to his neck. Chris rubbed Darren's sides soothingly, and then moved one hand to his cock, which was throbbing and leaking pre-come against Darren's stomach.

"Fuck, Chris, I—I'm close," Darren panted against Chris' shoulder as his strong hand pumped Darren's dick with the same rhythm of his thrusts.

"Come for me, Darren," Chris pleaded, nibbling at the shell of his ear, "Do it. Come for me."

Darren's scream was muffled by Chris' mouth when he came, shooting all over Chris' hand and his own stomach. He groaned loudly when his head dropped back onto the pillow, his body squirming as the waves of pleasure overcame him, and in no time at all he felt Chris follow him over the edge, biting down on Darren's shoulder as his come filled him up. Chris pumped Darren through his orgasm and thrust himself through his before finally relaxing and falling over his boyfriend's limp body.

Darren breathed heavily, staring up at the ceiling, aware of every little detail about their joined bodies and Chris still throbbing inside him. His arms encircled Chris' waist and he leaned up to gently kiss his forehead. "That… that was…"

"Yeah," Chris breathed. He opened his eyes to meet Darren's, his face shiny with sweat and flushed with afterglow and so beautiful all at once. Darren reached up and pet Chris' hair away from his face, beaming at him, basking in the sheer closeness and love of what they had just done. "Yeah, it was."