Wordcount: 8,684


After a quick and barely sufficient breakfast, Frisk left Napstablook's house with Chara in tow. The room where they had SAVED the previous day had not changed much at all. The elevator shaft was still there, and Gerson was still at his shop. Frisk had not even bothered to check out Undyne's house. They decided that getting skewered was not worth the risk.

However, one thing they hadn't noticed the day before was a Dimensional Box over near the east corridor. If they could sell items at this 'Temmie Village' that Gerson had spoken of, they'd need to get all their stuff from the box. A bit unfortunate that they had no clue where Temmie Village was, nor did Gerson.

"But," said Chara in a singsong voice, "I think I know who could help."

"Who's that?" asked Frisk.

"Papyrus," said Chara. Frisk wasn't so sure about this.

"No disrespect to Papyrus, but he's not exactly the kind of person I would call for advice," said Frisk.

"Well, you can't call Toriel," said Chara huffily. "So, Papyrus is your only option."

Frisk groaned. "Fine."

They took out their phone and selected Papyrus's contact. They pressed it to their ear, listening to the dial tone resonating softly. It didn't take long for him to pick up.

"HELLO, HUMAN!" he bellowed, causing Frisk to jump about a foot in the air. They moved the phone away from their ear a bit before answering. "H-hey, Papyrus," they greeted, sounding a bit rattled.

"WELCOME TO PAPYRUS'S HOTFUL HELPLINE!"

"Uh, I'm sorry, what?"

"IT'S A LITTLE HELPLINE I SET UP FOR WHENEVER YOU OR A FRIEND IS IN NEED OF ADVICE!" he explained proudly.

"Right, well, that's convenient," said Frisk, "because I was calling to ask you if you know where Temmie Village is."

"OHO!" he said, chuckling. "TEMMIE VILLAGE! I USED TO LOVE THAT PLACE! SOMETIMES, I WOULD GO THERE TO CLEAR MY HEAD... BUT I'D OFTEN WALK OUT MUDDLEHEADED OR PENNILESS!"

"So, is it like a ghetto or something?" asked Frisk with raised eyebrows. "Am I going to get robbed?"

"NO, NO!" he said, flustered. "JUST THAT I TEND TO MAKE A LOT OF, UH... IMPULSE PURCHASES WHENEVER I'M THERE. WHICH IS WHY I DON'T GO THERE ANYMORE..."

"Right... so, where is it?"

"AH, YES," said Papyrus, clearing his throat. "YOU'LL FIND TEMMIE VILLAGE IN THE ROOM BEFORE THE DARKENING LANTERN ROOM." Before Frisk could ask what that was, Papyrus swiftly explained, "IT'S A PUZZLE."

"I see... can you sell items there? An old guy said I could."

"OH, ABSOLUTELY! JUST TAKE CARE NOT TO LET THEM SELL YOU ANYTHING... YOU MIGHT JUST END UP BROKE! NYEH HEH HEH!"

"Thanks," said Frisk grudgingly. "Oh, and one last thing. What is this random elevator shaft near Undyne's place?"

"OH, THAT THING!" said Papyrus, chuckling once more. "THAT'S THE ENTRANCE TO THE WATERFALL CORE! IT'S ROUGHLY A FOURTH OF THE SIZE OF THE POTLAND CORE, AND RUNS ON HYDROELECTRICITY. YOU KNOW, ELECTRICITY GENERATED FROM—"

"I know what hydroelectricity is!" snapped Frisk.

"RIGHT, RIGHT, SORRY," said Papyrus. "BUT THAT'S WHAT IT IS. DR. ALPHYS INSISTED WATERFALL GET SOME TYPE OF POWER PLANT, SO SHE DREW UP SOME DESIGNS, DELIVERED THEM TO THE KING, AND THEY WERE APPROVED! UNDYNE OCCASIONALLY HELPS OUT THERE, WHENEVER SHE HAS A SPARE MOMENT. OH, OFF TOPIC, BUT UNDYNE REALLY HATES TEMMIE VILLAGE! SO IF YOU EVER NEEDED TO, UH, HYPOTHETICALLY... HIDE OR SOMETHING..." he trailed off.

"Thanks for the info," said Frisk.

"O-OH, NO TROUBLE AT ALL! STAY SAFE, HUMAN!" he said.

"You too."

The phone clicked. Frisk put it back in their pocket. "So, the room before the darkening lantern room, huh?" said Frisk, more to themselves than anyone else. "And I can sell stuff at Temmie Village. Sounds like easy cash."

"I remember Temmie Village from a long time ago," said Chara. "It was... interesting."

"I'll just take your word for it."

"Also, if I were you, I'd ditch that notebook as soon as possible," Chara advised. "I'm starting to think we got ripped off."

"I have a feeling it'll come in handy," said Frisk.

"Well, the guard, bopper, tutu, shoes, blade and necklace are just asking to be tossed away," said Chara, grimacing at the mental image of the items. "However, I see no reason to just get rid of them. I see plenty of reasons to sell them and profit."

"And I wholeheartedly agree," said Frisk pompously, prompting Chara to snicker.

"Well, let's get going then, partner."

Frisk headed over to the Dimensional Box and withdrew all their items. They took extra care when taking the glove, because it was still bloodstained, and they refused to touch it, considering they had no idea what kind of diseases the previous owner could've had. The same reason why they would never consider putting the guard in their mouth.

Not wanting to besmirch any of their current items, they carefully placed the bopper on their right hand. That way, they could still use their dominant hand without having to remove the bopper again and again. Then, they headed off, in search of the darkening lantern room. Unless of course, Temmie Village was just a huge doorway with a greeting sign. It didn't really matter, because Undyne wouldn't put a foot in Temmie Village. So, if things went to shit, they could hide there. They just had to not lose all their cash.

They headed down the east corridor. It quickly changed from built-up to wide-open. A waterfall was roaring away behind the sandy path. A couple of Echo Flowers lined the room. There were also two signs that talked about the Barrier.

* Only a being with a powerful SOUL can leave.

Guess you can count me out then, thought Frisk sarcastically. Chara rolled their eyes but said nothing.

* However, if a being with the power of seven human SOULs attacks the Barrier... it will be destroyed.

Interesting.

* This cursed place has no entrances or exits. There is no way a human could come here.

Frisk snickered. Guess their history isn't the most accurate, eh, Chara?

Chara acknowledged their jab, nodding.

* We will remain trapped down here forever.

Sheesh, you don't lose anything trying, thought Frisk. Maybe there's a different way out. Why not drill your way out?

Chara once again smacked Frisk upside the head. "It's not that easy, you halfwit. The Barrier's magic extends to the entire perimeter of Mt. Ebott."

"Alright, I didn't know that," said Frisk huffily. "Chill out."

The next room held a sinister sight. Everything was completely black, save for a grassy path lit dimly by a pair of glowing mushrooms. Frisk stared at them for a moment.

"D'you reckon these are poisonous?" asked Frisk.

"No," said Chara. "Unless I'm mistaken, this is the puzzle Papyrus was talking about. Those are lantern mushrooms, a species native to the Underground. They glow dimly, but if you squeeze them, their glow brightens."

"So, they're like glow-sticks," mused Frisk.

"If that's the comparison you want to make, then yes."

Frisk reached out and squeezed the fungi. Their glow burst spectacularly. More of the path was revealed by the bright light from the mushrooms.

"Neat," said Frisk.

"Indeed," Chara agreed.

Frisk continued this cycle of squeezing the mushrooms and lighting up the path, until something peculiar happened. Their SOUL flew out of their chest, a fight beginning.

"Hold on," demanded Frisk, "what the—"

"Special enemy Temmie appears here to defeat you!" said Chara.

"Wait, Temmie?" asked Frisk rhetorically.

The Temmie in question appeared as a white cat, but with the ears of both a cat and dog. In addition, it was wearing a blue jumper and had a mop of silky black hair. Though its eyes were a deep black, they may as well have been flashing rainbow for all the energy Temmie had. It was vibrating so much that a casual observer would deduce it had bitten a live wire.

"Uh, hello Temmie?" said Frisk uncomfortably.

"hOi!" Temmie replied loudly. It had a voice reminiscent of a female Asian.

Before Frisk could even ask what was going on, a huge, loopy-legged version of Temmie had spawned above them, running backwards and forwards erratically. Though Frisk tried their best to keep up, they were powerless against the psychotic energy that Temmie exerted. No matter how quickly Frisk tried to dodge, the seconds felt like milliseconds, and the milliseconds like split-seconds, and the split-seconds like—

"ER-HEM," said Chara, breaking them out of their rambling. "Partner, your HP has dropped from twenty to fourteen. You'd better step up your game if you want to beat Temmie."

Frisk chose ACT, staring at their options. Check, Say Hello, Flex and Give Temmie Flakes. They shook their head. "If this is a nightmare, I want to wake up. Chara, give me the 4-1-1."

"Temmie, rated tem outta tem. Loves to pet cute humans. But you're allergic!" said Chara unashamedly.

"Jesus Christ," said Frisk. "What is this?"

"Better look out, partner," said Chara, nodding in the direction of Temmie's neck which was now extending horrifically towards them, Lesser Dog-style.

"fhsdhjfdsfjsddshjfsd," said Temmie, perfectly pronouncing the meaningless phrase.

Frisk stepped out of the way, but Temmie's neck just kept following them. They hurried away from it, the neck still following. Surely it couldn't extend forever...

Frisk was right. Temmie's neck eventually stopped, before shooting all the way back to its owner like a tape measure.

"Temmiy accidentally misspelled her own name," said Chara.

"Oh, so it's a she?" said Frisk. "What the hell are Temmie Flakes anyway?"

"Well..." said Chara, trailing off. "We shouldn't talk about this."

"Why not? Now's as good a time as any," Frisk retorted.

"They're a drug," said Chara. "One time, Asriel found a stray box of them, and they made him so high that he was a giggling mess for a week straight."

"Sheesh," said Frisk. "So, what are they exactly?"

"Torn-up sheets of coloured construction paper," said Chara. "But there's a secret ingredient that nobody knows that is responsible for the high-inducing effect."

"uWa! whAt's tHIS?" asked Temmie. "u tAlk aBOUT TEM FLAKES?"

"Uh, yes, but—"

"u got da TEM FLAKES?" asked Temmie hopefully.

"Ah, no, sorry," said Frisk. "I don't have any Tem Flakes, and anyway, they don't sound too good for ya."

Temmie gave a strange, high-browed smirk. "can't blame a BARK for tryin'..." she said.

And her attacks only got faster.

"Temmie only wants the Tem Flakes," said Chara.

Frisk was weak at the knees with exhaustion. Their HP had dropped to four, and Temmie was now aggressively demanding Tem Flakes in exchange for their family's life. Frisk tiredly raised an arm, flexing it pathetically at Temmie.

She gasped loudly. "NO! muscles r... NOT CUTE," she said forcefully. Then, an Aaron swooped in, flexing as he did so. Temmie squealed, falling over in a dead faint.

"Okay," said Frisk. It wasn't really. They flexed at Aaron, who nodded, impressed by their flexing skills. He didn't even attack. They spared him, hurrying away from the scene, hoping never to meet Temmie or any of her associates by chance ever again.


"hOi!"

"hOi!"

"Hi, I'm Bob."

"hOives!"

Jesus Christ, thought Frisk. How could you keep this information from me, Chara?

* I thought it'd be better if you found out on your own, said Chara.

There was a painting on the wall of a draconic creature and a Temmie, silhouetted for maximum dramatic effect. Many Temmies were sitting around, discussing their days with each other in the same, erratic speech patterns. One was even sitting on an Easter egg, stating that she was waiting for it to hatch. "then, tem wil be... proud PARENT!"

A yellow star was glowing nearby. Frisk reached out and touched it.

"You feel... something," said Chara. "You're filled with detemmienation."

"Detemmienation?" asked Frisk, covering their face with their hands.

"Yes."

A sign above another doorway read "TEM SHOP" in blue and yellow letters. The vendor in there was fairly different from the other Temmies. She had long, grey hair instead of black, and was adorned in a blue and yellow-striped jumper.

"hOi!" she greeted. "welcom to... da TEM SHOP!"

"Tell me about yourself," said Frisk.

"hOi! i'm TEMMIE!"

"Uh... tell me about your... shop?" they asked, looking at the small stand, painted sloppily with the words 'TEM SHOP'. A shelf sat behind them, lined with numerous trinkets and potion bottles. It looked a bit like a first-grader's lemonade stand.

"yaYA!" she said. "go to TEM SHOP!"

"But I'm... already here..." said Frisk, trailing off.

"Just ignore it," said Chara.

"What about your... history?"

"us tems hav a DEEP HISTORY!" she insisted.

"Right... what have you got on offer?"

"i got tem flakes, on SALE tem flAkes, expensiv tEm FlAkEs, and das it!" said Temmie. But contrary to what she said, on a small blackboard off to the left were the words 'tem pay 4 colleg'.

"What is... 'tem pay 4 colleg'?" asked Frisk.

"das for my colleg educayshun!" said Temmie proudly. "imma go to colleg and make u proud!"

"But it's... one thousand gold," said Frisk.

"das why i set up da TEM SHOP!"

"Right... well, I've got a few items I need to get off my hands," said Frisk, putting everything on the table. Temmie gasped audibly.

"WHOA! is dat... a boppa, razor, necklace, guard, tutu, an shoos?" she asked excitedly.

"Well, what do they look like?" asked Frisk sarcastically.

"i always wan one o dose..." she said, squirming in her seat. "but tem gotta pay for colleg..." She debated with herself for about five seconds, then looked at Frisk brightly and said, "okay! i wil buy deez for four hundred and fiddy G!"

"But, isn't that— oh forget it, what the—"

"Refuse," said Chara.

"Wh— Why?"

"Art of the deal."

"Well... alright then," said Frisk, turning to Temmie. "No," they said flatly.

"b-but..." she whimpered, "flffjlfjlfjfjflfjfl."

Well, she crushed her own dreams, thought Frisk, shrugging.

"oKAY! i will pay nine hundred G!" she said.

Frisk scowled. If she had that much money, why didn't she just pay for college herself? Frisk didn't put too much thought into it, considering that the money was going into their pockets.

"Yeah, sure. Just take it and give me the money."

Frisk had to get a Dimensional Box to carry all the money.


After Frisk had stumbled their way through the darkening lantern room, they found themselves in a dark corridor.

"Sheesh, could someone maybe turn on a few lights?" they said jokingly. Chara said nothing, looking around anxiously.

"Hey, Chara, what the haps?" asked Frisk. "You look a little stressed out."

"I don't like the way this room is lit," said Chara, frowning. "I think you're walking straight into a trap, partner."

"Yeah, but what other way is there to go?" said Frisk. "Anyway, if someone tries to jump me, you know what I'll do."

"If I'm not mistaken, are you saying you plan on killing whoever attacks you?" asked Chara.

Frisk shrugged. "Sure. If they're going to kill me, I have to fight back."

"Toriel tried to kill you," said Chara.

"Yeah," said Frisk. "She didn't mean it, though."

"Didn't mean it when she killed you?"

Frisk scowled. "That was an accident."

"Maybe, maybe not," said Chara.

The two continued in silence. There was an Echo Flower glowing at the end of the hallway. Frisk approached it, and were about to say something to it when someone else did.

"Behind you."

It wasn't Chara's voice. And it sure as hell wasn't theirs. So, by process of elimination...

"Ah, shit," said Frisk, turning around. Weirdly, the room had gotten brighter now. Undyne stood a good distance away, surveying the room. "Hey, I'm in a bit of a hurry, so could we maybe just—"

"Seven," she said, in a cold, sinister voice. "Seven human SOULs."

"Yeah, I know," said Frisk boredly. "I got the message. Seven human SOULs and you can break the Barrier. Thanks for the refresher, now can I go, Principal?"

Undyne snarled. "That is the last I'll hear of your insolence, human. With seven human SOULs, King Asgore Dreemurr—" ("So he's still King..." muttered Chara) "—will become a god. With that power, he'll take back the surface from humanity... and give them back the pain and suffering we have endured."

"Wouldn't it be so much easier to kiss and make up?" Frisk jabbed. Chara snickered.

"Alright, that's it," said Undyne. "Surrender your SOUL now, or I'll tear it from your body."

"Pretty sure that's not how it works," said Frisk, drawing in a sharp intake of air when a blue energy spear materialised in Undyne's hands. "Hey, what happened to me getting to choose?"

"Partner, you are insufferable," said Chara contemptibly. Frisk just shrugged.

Undyne took a few steps forward, gripping the spear tightly. Frisk drew the pen from their pocket, pointing it straight at Undyne. She halted, staring at Frisk's ludicrous choice of weapon.

"Take another step forward and I'll take your head clean off," Frisk warned. They weren't sure if they would actually follow through with their threat, just hoped that Undyne would back off.

She snorted loudly. She was getting ready to run at Frisk when, all of a sudden, someone burst out from the sea grass.

"WAIT! UNDYNE! I'LL HELP YOU FIGHT!"

Both parties shot a sideways glance at the monster kid, keeping one eye on each other. The kid looked at both Undyne and Frisk, before a huge grin spread across his face. "YO! You did it!" he applauded. "Undyne's right here in front of you! You've got front-row seats to her fight!" He looked around eagerly, before his smile faded, being replaced by a look of incredulity. "Wait... who's she fighting?"

"Could you leave us alone?" asked Frisk, now keeping both their eyes on Undyne. "The grown-ups are talking."

Undyne darted forward, and for a moment, Frisk was ready to swing at her, but never did. She grabbed the kid by his ear, dragging him out. He expressed his disapproval with a loud grunt of pain. "Hey! You aren't gonna tell my parents about this, are you?"

Then, all was silent, except for the Echo Flower faintly repeating the kid's last phrase.

Frisk sighed, putting the pen away. They were relieved that they didn't have to throw down right then and there. They barely even knew that much about Undyne's fighting style.

"I must say, you're fairly intimidating for someone wielding a weapon that's only good for slander, not murder," Chara remarked.

"Shut up," said Frisk, heading through the huge gap in the wall that was previously unseen. Many Echo Flowers lined the corridor, which was aflame with the glow of fireflies dancing in the air.

"Heheh, that was too good—"

"And, you'll never believe who I saw—"

"Please... it's so cold and dark..."

"Well, he was a right old nutcase, wasn't he?"

Frisk reached the end of the hallway, pausing momentarily. "Chara, do you remember that time I created a SAVE point in Blowdin on my own?"

"When you were fleeing? Yes."

"Would it be possible to do that again?"

"As long as you're determined, partner."

"Great. Something to put on my CV," said Frisk, summoning their determination. Their eyes flashed yellow for a split-second, and a SAVE point was created right in front of them.

"Well, would'ja look at that," Frisk marvelled. Chara just rolled their eyes. "Yes, great work, partner. Now, let's get going."

"Well aren't you eager," said Frisk. Chara sighed, but said nothing else.

The two continued onward past waterfalls pouring down into the ravines below. Frisk was on-edge again, probably wondering if Undyne would ambush them again. So, they were a little bit relieved when the monster kid's voice called out to them.

"Yo!"

"What is it now?" asked Frisk impatiently. "I've got shit to do."

"A-alright... I just came to ask... you're a human, right?"

Frisk raised an eyebrow. "Well, someone finally decided to ask me that question. Yes. I am."

"Ah, right," said the kid. "So, I have a favour to ask. Y'see, Undyne told me to, um, 'stay away from the human'. So... that kinda makes us enemies, I guess. But, I kinda suck at that, haha."

"Right..." said Frisk. "So, let me guess, you want me to act like a jerk so that you can hate me?"

"Somethin' like that," said the kid.

"Alright then," said Frisk, shrugging. "I have a PHD in being a jerk, so this should be easy." They drew in a deep breath, and said very openly and clearly, "Cripple."

The kid looked at him for a moment, almost stupefied. For a moment, Frisk wondered if he was going to throw himself off the bridge, but then he just snickered.

"Really? I get that from my big sister all the time," he said.

"What kind of family do you live with?" asked Frisk sarcastically.

"Guess I gotta do it myself," he sighed. "So, here goes. Uh... I hate your guts."

Frisk shrugged. "Fair enough. Everybody hates someone."

Despite Frisk's indifference, the kid looked really ashamed of himself. "Man, I'm such a turd..." he said to himself. "Hey, I better get out of here. But, before you go, could you do me another favour?"

"Sure, anything for you, kiddo," said Frisk with a wise-guy voice.

"Could light this joint for me? The one in my pocket."

Frisk backed away quickly. "Okay, wow. Papyrus, sure. Sans, absolutely. But never did I think you'd smoke."

"H-hey, it's my first time, chillax," he said.

And it should be your last, thought Frisk, groaning loudly. "Fine. Don't say I didn't warn you," they said, reaching into his pocket. "Got a light?"

"Yeah, in my other pocket."

They withdrew the lighter, and flicked it once. A small flame appeared and disappeared. They put the joint in the kid's mouth and lit the end. It obviously was his first time, because he tried to suck it all in at once. He coughed and spluttered, smoke streaming from his mouth and nostrils hilariously.

Frisk snorted, but covered it by patting the kid's shoulder in a concerned way. He emerged, giggling stupidly. "H-heh, I guess this wasn't such a good idea after all."

"Ya got that right."

"It's just, my parents smoke and all, so..." the kid trailed off, sighing. "I'd better get going." He stumbled off. Frisk was turning around to get going again when they heard a muffled yelp. They spun around and saw the kid clinging to the edge of the bridge with his teeth. He gave an unintelligible scream that sounded a fair bit like 'help'.

"How the hell did you get like that?" asked Frisk, not moving from their spot. The kid's eyes were wild with terror.

"Partner, are you just going to stand there and chat?" Chara shrieked. "Save him!"

"Yeah, I'm on it," Frisk was saying, before they noticed Undyne standing just a few feet away. Oh for Christ's sake, thought Frisk, exasperated. Now what am I supposed to do?

"Ignore Undyne and save the child!" said Chara.

Fine, but this is on you if I get killed, they retorted, rushing over to the kid and grabbing him. They lifted him onto the bridge, dropping him there, taking a huge step back so Undyne's inevitable swing would miss. She didn't swing.

The kid got to his feet. He stared anxiously at Undyne. "Y-yo... if you wanna hurt my friend—" Pff, friend? We were never friends... "—you'll have to go through me first."

Undyne's breathing was heavy. "Alright," she said. An energy spear appeared in her hands. She advanced on the kid, who was backing away, his eyes practically bugging out.

* Are you serious? asked Chara. Is she willing to kill a child just to get to you?

Yes, yes she is!

Frisk drew their pen again. They pushed the kid behind them, and raised the pen so it was level with Undyne. "Don't even fucking think about it," they growled. "This is between you and me, so leave the kid out of this."

Undyne faltered for a second. In that second, two voices rang out. "Timothy! Is that you?"

"M-mum? Dad?" asked the kid.

"Timothy! Thank God you're safe," said a large reptilian monster, hugging him tightly.

* I notice they have arms, Chara observed. Does the child have a birth defect?

Probably, Frisk replied, taking a few steps back so they weren't in the way.

"Undyne? What are you doing here?" the father asked. "Never mind, thank God you were here to save him when he fell."

"S-she didn't save me..." mumbled Timothy.

"Huh?" said the mother, taken aback. "Then, who did?"

"They did," said Timothy, cocking his head in Frisk's direction. Thankfully, they were spared any questions by the kid's mother spotting the joint close by. "Timothy? What's that?"

Timothy looked over at the joint, paling. "I-it's... y-you know..."

"W-were you smoking?" asked his mother in a high-pitched voice.

"Y-yeah..." he mumbled, his head cast downwards.

"Who taught you to do this stuff?" asked his father.

Timothy was silent for a moment, before bursting into tears and shouting, "You, alright? I learned it from watching you!" Frisk decided this was their cue to leave. They weren't ready for this family drama, and besides, they needed to get away from Undyne.

Once they were a good distance away, they relaxed. Thank God that's over, they thought.

* That was a noble thing you did, saving that child, said Chara.

Yeah, but you had to tell me to do it, didn't you? Frisk replied. If anything, you're the hero, not me.

* I never called you a hero, said Chara. And... I am the last person you would call a hero.

Hey, don't get yourself down like that, Frisk replied. Undyne's definitely the last.

Chara snickered.

* Thanks. I appreciate that. Then, a sigh. I cannot believe the Royal Guard has gotten this much out of hand. Do you think she would've killed him had you not intervened?

Are you kidding? Frisk scoffed. I wouldn't be surprised if she impaled him on the spot.

They travelled in silence for a bit, passing a monster with a head shaped like an upturned crescent. A cube was floating in the space in the middle of his head. He was adorned in a dark-blue sweater.

"Hey you," he said. "Have I got a deal for you."

Frisk approached his stand. "What are you selling?"

"Premium custard cream," he said, pointing at the glass case with the ordinary biscuit in it. "Opening price is five thousand gold. Deal of a lifetime," he added, winking.

"You're crazy," said Frisk, turning to leave.

"Alright, I'm sorry. Fifty thousand gold."

"No."

"Alright, not high enough for you, eh? Five hundred thousand."

"I said no."

"Fine..." he grumbled. "Five million gold, not a coin above."

"Goodbye."

"Eh, whatever," the monster said, shrugging. "I couldn't sell it anyway. It has too much sentimental value to me."

Frisk just shook their head disbelievingly, continuing on in silence for a moment, before reaching a small rocky area near a huge cave. Up atop the crag was Undyne.

Chara, I think we're about to fight. So, I need all the help I can get, said Frisk.

* I'm with ya, partner.

Frisk stomped loud enough that the sound echoed in the area. Undyne's head swiftly turned at the noise. Then, she began to speak, filling the area with her cold monologue.

"Seven. Seven human SOULs. Then, King Asgore will become a god.

"Six... that's how many we have collected thus far."

Are you fucking serious? asked Frisk. They have six human SOULs? If they get mine... they shuddered.

"Understand?"

Frisk was snapped back to reality.

"With your seventh and final SOUL, this world will be transformed."

She sounds like a dictator at a rally, thought Frisk, stepping forward defiantly.

Undyne took no notice. "But first, as is customary to those who make it this far, I shall tell you the tragic tale of our people. It all started..." she trailed off, turning her back on Frisk. "No."

Uh... no what? No story before dead-time? asked Frisk.

Chara groaned.

* You are turning into Sans, I swear to God.

"You know what? SCREW IT!" she yelled. Frisk flinched. Okay, that was unexpected. "WHY SHOULD I TELL YOU THAT STORY WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO DIE? NGAAHH!"

What the actual... said Frisk, failing to even finish their sentence.

Undyne had now removed her helmet, revealing a blue-skinned fish-like creature. One of her eyes was covered by an eye-patch. "YOU!" she howled. "You're standing in the way of everyone's hopes and dreams! You know, Alphys made me think that humans were cool... with their bald drug cooks and burning super death swords..."

What the actual fuck is she talking about? asked Frisk.

* I think she was talking about Breaking Bad.

"But you? You're not only an interfering narc, but also a coward!" she shouted. "Hiding behind that kid so you could run away from me again!"

"Wasn't in the mood for a fight," said Frisk, shrugging.

She completely ignored them. "And let's not forget your wimpy goody-two-shoes-shtick!" she jeered. "Ooh! Look at me, I'm making such a difference by telling people what to do with their lives! You know what would be more valuable to everyone? IF YOU WERE DEAD!"

Frisk sucked in air through their teeth. "Ooh, touchy," they shot back caustically.

"Yeah! That's right!" said Undyne. "Your continued EXISTENCE is a crime! Your life is all that stands between us and freedom! I can feel it now!" She flashed a broad smile at Frisk. "Everyone's hearts pounding together. Everyone's been waiting their whole lives for this moment. But we're not scared at all! When everyone puts their hearts together, they can't lose!"

"That's funny," said Frisk.

"WHAT?" shouted Undyne.

"I said it was funny," said Frisk, meeting her gaze. Their eyes were practically burning. "You say I'm a criminal, yet you're the one who was about to murder an innocent kid because he was in your way." They raised their arm, pointing a finger at her. "You think you're a hero, but you're just a remorseless murderer. That's what's funny."

Chara gazed in admiration. Undyne just howled with laughter.

"Ha! YOU, lecturing ME? Do you even realise how many your kind have slain during the war?"

"I know that humans and monsters fought," said Frisk, exasperated, "but that was a long time ago. Get over it!"

"Get over it? Please," said Undyne. "We don't forget so easily when we have to spend our lives in a place that only reminds us of the comrades we've lost."

"I had no part in that war," Frisk replied. "Why is that so difficult for you to understa—"

"ENOUGH!" she roared. "Human!" and here, she drew a harpoon gun from out of nowhere. "Let's end this right here, right now! I will show you just how determined monsters can be! For everyone's hopes... for everyone's dreams... I, Undyne, will knock you the heck down!"

'Heck'? wondered Frisk, but they didn't give it much thought. Determination was flowing throughout their veins. A SAVE point appeared nearby.

"The wind is howling. You're filled with determination," said Chara.

"Alright, fishface," said Frisk, stepping forward. "Let's see what you've got!"

"That's the spirit, you little brat!" she yelled, leaping down from the crag. "En guarde!"

Undyne's eye flashed green. Frisk's legs froze up. As they looked down at them, they realised their SOUL had gone bright green. "What the—?"

"As long as you're green, you can't escape!" said Undyne, tossing a spear at Frisk. They caught it in their hands. "Unless you learn to face danger head-on, you won't last a SECOND against me!"

"So... what do I do with this?"

Undyne narrowed the eye that was not hidden behind her patch. "I want this to be a fair fight!" she said. "So, you can use that to block the bullets! Now, can we get this show on the road or what?"

Frisk nodded, gripping the spear tightly.

"Undyne attacks... or would, if she wasn't busy loading spears into her spear-gun," said Chara.

* Check | Plead | Challenge | Flirt

* UNDYNE - ATK 55 DEF 25
* Has less morals than she has eyes. Doesn't know when to give up.

There was a loud clicking sound as Undyne launched energy spears at Frisk in a quick stream. They raised the spear, grunting as the sheer force of the spears colliding against theirs nearly knocked them off their feet. Two spears curved, flying towards Frisk's left side. They noticed it out of the corner of their eye, spinning to the side to block them.

"Not bad!" said Undyne. "How about... THIS!" She pulled the trigger. The gun spat a hail of spears, some gradually curving to meet Frisk at the sides. Frisk spun around to block them. They were gradually getting the hang of it. They just had to block the spears. They could sit here and enjoy a refreshing drink while knocking the spears away if they wanted to. And, to be frank, that's what they would much rather be doing than this.

Undyne began to monologue again. "For years, we've dreamed of a happy ending..."

Frisk blocked a spear on their right. They narrowly avoided being hit by a spear from behind.

"And now, sunlight is just within our reach!"

Frisk filled their head with the filthiest curse words they could think of, all the while blocking the spears. Unfortunately, they were more absorbed in mentally swearing at Undyne, and just missed blocking the spear that hit them in the side. They gasped, falling to one knee. Blood was dripping from the the deep scratch in their side. It hurts, but I'll live.

"I won't let you snatch it away!"

"What happened to my happy ending?" asked Frisk.

"You don't get one!" she shouted. "You don't deserve one! You haven't had to suffer, just to know that all this pain could be worth nothing!"

"You don't even fucking know me!" Frisk retorted.

"THAT'S IT!" yelled Undyne. "ENOUGH WARMING UP!"

She fired a volley of spears at Frisk. They were barely able to keep up; the spike in difficulty had been expected, but drastic. Frisk was fending off the spears as best as they could, yet it wasn't good enough. A spear slipped past their defences, impaling their arm. They screamed, dropping to the ground. Despite barely trusting themselves to look, they did. A huge hole had appeared in their left arm. They weren't going to be able to wield a spear without the usage of their dominant hand.

Their SOUL flashed red, Undyne's spell wearing off. She hurled a spear at them. They rolled out of the way just in time. They looked up at her, trying to muster their kindest voice despite the fact she'd just mutilated their arm. "Undyne, please! I don't want to hurt you! Just stop fighting!"

Undyne guffawed. "Ha! I can't believe YOU want to spare me!"

"Undyne, I'm not going to—" Frisk was saying, but they never finished. Undyne fired a well-aimed spear right through their heart. An explosion of blood and fleshy tissue filled their vision. They gagged on something thick and coppery in their throat, falling onto their back, eyes rolling back in their sockets. Their SOUL shattered.


"You must not give up just yet... Chara! Stay determined!"


Frisk snapped awake, finding themselves back at the start of the fight. Undyne stood atop the crag, looking down at them maliciously. I died. But I'm back. Just like with Tor—

"Partner?" asked Chara. "You doing okay?"

Frisk sighed heavily. "I guess. I mean, as good as you can after getting speared through the heart."

"I'm sorry about that," said Chara. "I should've played a part. We're supposed to be a team."

"Don't worry about it," said Frisk, approaching Undyne, a snarl upon their countenance. "It won't happen again."

The fight played normally up until their original point of death. They weren't going to underestimate her this time. Undyne pointed her gun to the sky, firing once, letting a shower of harpoons rain down from above. Frisk shielded themselves with their own spear, rushing to and fro to dodge the many projectiles falling from above.

"Undyne! I'm not going to hurt you! Quit before you do something stupid!" said Frisk imploringly. It didn't work.

She rolled her eyes. "Even if I did spare you..."

More spears.

"No human has EVER made it past Asgore!"

Spears jabbed upwards from the ground, deep cracks running in the rocky surface like the veins in Frisk's body. They sidestepped the spears, but weren't ready for the one that impaled their leg. They cried out weakly, grimacing as they fell, for the sound of tearing ligaments and squishing flesh was a truly horrid sound to meet the ears.

Once again, Undyne put them out of their misery with a spear to the heart.

CRACK


"You're going to be okay... Chara! Stay determined!"


"Partner?"

"I know!" growled Frisk. "This time."


"No human has EVER made it past Asgore!"

Spear stab. This time, I've got it. For sure.

This time, they found a perfect safe spot in between the middle and left group of spears. Undyne noticed, because she dropped the spears back into the ground, and started firing wildly at Frisk. They dived out of the way and behind a huge rock. Spears thumped against the other side of the rock for about forty seconds, until Undyne had to reload.

"Undyne! This isn't what you want!"

"You don't know me!" she replied, grinning. "Your words, kid."

You little...

"And, to be honest, killing you is an act of mercy anyway..."

Frisk breathed in, then leapt out from behind the rock, putting up finger guns. "Undyne," they said, "This love is kind of fishy, but it's right for the two of us."

Undyne narrowed an eye. "What the hell is it with humans?" she said, more to herself than anyone else.

Chara shook their head. "Partner, I wouldn't say that's a good idea."

Undyne fired more spears. Frisk sidestepped them, firing back with more witty pick-up lines, each one making Chara shiver in revulsion.

"Undyne, you're my next meal in the food chain."

"Undyne, you truly are to dyne for."

"Undyne, may I share my undying love for you?"

Undyne was not finding this very amusing. She picked up the speed of her attacks, trying to spear the human for her own dignity. She would not be flirted with during battle! This was just tacky!

"So, what exactly is your endgame here, partner?" asked Chara sourly.

"I dunno," said Frisk, dodging more spears. "Maybe she just needs appreciation and validation, and she'll chill out if she gets it?"

"So, you're not only a dating expert, but an emotional therapist now?" Chara remarked.

"I'd be cut out for it," they muttered. "Undyne, would you—?"

"HUMAN! THAT'S ENOUGH!" she yelled. "This is a FIGHT, you idiot! Not a date!"

"Undyne, there must be something fine under that armour," said Frisk coyly. This was too much.

"NGAAAAHH!" she shrieked, practically flying at Frisk, knocking them down. "SEXUAL! HARASSMENT!" she hollered, stabbing her spear into their chest with each syllable. Frisk tried to get to their feet, but she was on top of them now, and they were completely at her mercy — not that she had any.

Chara didn't even look sympathetic when they returned after dying. "You had it coming."

"I guess I did," said Frisk, sighing. "Chara, I don't know about this. D'you think I'll even be able to spare her?"

"All you can do is try, partner. But, if you have to hurt her to escape, I'll understand," said Chara. "Your own personal survival is the most important thing. You are guaranteeing everyone else's survival with your pacifism, but some may not agree."

"Very stirring," said Frisk, stepping forward again.


Their SOUL was green again. Undyne was working herself into such a frenzy that Frisk was surprised she didn't collapse from exhaustion. Surely determination was not enough to do just this? There had to be some additional factor responsible for her energy...

Then, as quickly as they became green, they were red again, and Undyne slashed at them with a spear, missing by only a millimetre. They stumbled back, the spear's energy leaving a whip-like sensation over their face. They stared back at Undyne disbelievingly. "How can you do this?" they practically yelled. "How can you attack an innocent person so casually—"

Undyne clouted them over the head with the blunt end of the spear. They fell to the ground, rubbing their head as she approached. "You humans have gotten even stupider over the years," she sneered. "Didn't even think to use magic! Or are they not teaching you nowadays?"

"Stupid, eh?" Frisk grumbled. "Stupid, like the person who tried to kill an innocent monst—"

Undyne tossed her head, her hair flowing like a bloody red snake, her yellow teeth bared in a wolfish grin. "You know what, human? You're a stubborn bastard. And I like that! But we'll just see who holds out the longest!"

She recast her spell to turn their SOUL green again, and began firing off more spears.

"Humans... full of determination..." she was saying. "But, you know something, human? I'M determined too!"

Well, not as determined as the Fabulous—

* Finish that sentence and you are dead.

Never mind.

"Determined to end this RIGHT NOW!" she yelled, sending a yellow spear towards them. Frisk was standing their ground, ready to block it, when it spun around! It had originally been heading straight for them, but it had been spun around so it would hit them in the back. They realised this just in time and swung the spear to block it, but were unable to block the other spears because of it.

Just like that, they were dead again.


And again.


And again.


They won! Nah, just kidding! They died again.


After another death, Frisk finally snapped. They approached Undyne, unaware of Chara asking them what was wrong. "Hey, fishface. You wanna know something funny?"

Undyne grinned. "Is it a fish pun?"

"Nah, nothing like that," they said, unable to contain their manic grin. "It's that you killed me before."

Undyne frowned.

"Yep, you fucking killed me. Maybe like, seven, eight times? Damned if I remember," said Frisk, drawing in another deep breath. "And each time, I swore to you I'd spare you. I swore to you I'd show ya mercy. And each time, you ripped me apart... piece by piece."

Frisk could barely believe it. Undyne was actually unnerved by what they'd said.

"But you know what? No. No more. No more mercy. No more kind words. Undyne..." and this was where Undyne realised their eyes were actually glowing. "I've fucking it had it with your shit!"

Undyne gritted her teeth, scowling. "Big talk from such a small fry," she said.

Frisk gave a forced laugh. "Yeah. That's what everyone says. They say I can't take what I dish out. Heheh... well."

Undyne's eye widened at the bright blue aura forming around the human's body. "You see this?" they asked rhetorically. "You're finally going to get what's coming to you. If I actually wanted to kill you, your body would be ripped in two. I'd beat you so hard to a pulp that they'd make fish cakes out of your remains!"

"Partner..."

"I LOVE IT!" shouted Undyne. "THAT TOTALLY RULES! Best pre-fight speech EVER!" She equipped her spear gun, pointing it directly at Frisk. "Which is why I'll steal it after I kill you!"

"You just try that."

Undyne threw a spear down to the human, then loaded a flaming spear into her gun, firing it off at them. They dodged, predictably, but the spear exploded, sending a volley of flames everywhere. It had been a molotov spear, designed by Alphys originally as a gas spear for controlling riots (not that they ever had any), but Undyne had convinced her to up the ante.

The entire place was on fire. This type of flame didn't need anything to burn. It just spread until it eventually ran out of steam. But, almost immediately, it was snuffed out by a wave of blue energy. Undyne's eye narrowed. Impossible!

"Having some technical difficulties, eh?" asked Frisk, knowing full well who was responsible.

Undyne snarled. "A wise guy, huh? Well, let's see if you fight as big as you talk!"

"Gladly!" shouted Frisk, snapping the spear in two. They grabbed the sharp end, rushing at Undyne. She sidestepped them, but they were expecting this. They rammed into Undyne, knocking her off balance. She waved her spear gun wildly, firing erratically. Frisk slashed at her face (Frisk took a short moment to reflect on how stupid it was of her to remove her helmet), only grazing it, but eliciting a howl all the same. She shoved them away, taking aim at them and firing. They raised the spear to block hers.

She slashed the air with her spear, changing their SOUL to green. This didn't deter them. Even when Undyne threw as many reverse-orientation spears as she could at them, they just kept going, not losing the rhythm, no matter how jerky said rhythm was. They kept blocking until her spell wore off. She tried to recast it, but it failed.

She tried again, focusing hard. It failed.

"What's wrong? Is your little magic trick not working?" asked Frisk, bouncing a small box in their free hand. "I had a feeling this little guy would come in handy later."

"NGAAAHH!" she howled, abandoning all honour, just wanting to tear the little punk to pieces using her teeth. "DIE ALREADY, YOU LITTLE BRAT!"

Frisk hit her in the face with the spear, causing her to stumble back. Then, she felt something go through her eye-patch and into her hollow eye. Frisk's pen. She shrieked loudly, though it was muffled when Frisk tripped her up, causing her to face-plant onto the ground. She quickly rose to her feet, clawing at her eye, screaming, "YOU DIRTY LITTLE YELLOW-BELLIED PUNK!" Frisk took this opportunity to book it out of there.

It didn't take long however for the heavy clanking sound of Undyne's boots to follow theirs. Undyne was hurling spears at them left and right, but with a metal-covered hand over half her face, her aim was worse than a drunk in the bathroom.

Frisk rounded the corner, rushing past a long, scrolling sign that read, "WELCOME TO POTLAND". The heat hit them as they burst out of the caverns. They could barely even see where they were going, just blindly running. The air had a thickness that they hadn't felt in even their hottest of summers. It also carried the scent of burnt rubber and rock.

They passed a sentry station where Sans was snoring away. Undyne's footsteps stopped for a moment, giving Frisk even more of a lead. They were only just beginning to realise how damn bright Potland was. Too bright, in fact.

They reached a small clearing, but were momentarily distracted by a water cooler. They were also beginning to realise how thirsty they were. Their throat was a desert, but they'd been so caught up in fighting that they didn't even notice.

Undyne's footsteps got louder, but slower. Then slower. Until there was one last, loud crash, and then no more. Frisk turned around. Undyne lay collapsed on the bridge, panting.

"So... hot... but I... can't... give..." she trailed off, her head smacking into the ground, falling silent.

Frisk fell to their knees, gasping for air, muscles aching. Was it finally over? Could they finally escape from Undyne?

"Partner."

They looked up to see Chara's ghostly form floating beside them. "Nice of you to show up," they said, in between gasps of poisonous air.

"Now's the time to decide what to do with Undyne," said Chara. "You can either leave her to die here, or you could get her a drink from the water cooler."

"Are you insane?" asked Frisk. "That fish tried to kill me, hell, did kill me a bunch of times, and I'm supposed to be nice to her?"

"Have you forgotten what you promised to do?"

"What, to be kind and show mercy to everyone? Yeah," said Frisk, laughing humourlessly. "Not everyone deserves mercy. Not everyone deserves to be saved."

Chara sighed. "Listen, partner," they said. "I too agree that Undyne is completely insane and that by all accounts, she deserves to burn here. But... think. What if she has a family? What if she has friends who'd miss her? And do you really want the knowledge that you've caused someone's death on your mind forever?"

Frisk tried to retort, but came up empty. "Damn it, Chara," they sighed. "Why do you have to be so right?"

"Because I know what it's like," they said.

Frisk was silent for a while.

"Undyne was doing what she thought was right. You wanted to live. She disagreed. However, she was just trying to free the monsters," said Chara.

"Could you stop rubbing it in my face?" said Frisk. "I get it! It wasn't a matter of good or evil, I think that came to me pretty quickly."

"So what are you going to do?"

Frisk got to their feet, approaching the water cooler and bending down. They turned on the tap, swallowing water in hasty gulps. Chara looked bemused.

"Are you planning on giving her mouth to mouth?" asked Chara.

"No," said Frisk in between gulps. "Just needed some water." They took a cup and filled it, crossing over to Undyne and pouring it on her face.

Undyne groaned, slowly getting to her feet. She stared down at Frisk, contemplating them, before simply turning and walking away.

Frisk watched her go, the hate in their SOUL ebbing away with each of her footsteps. She hadn't tried to kill them. She hadn't thanked them either, but they didn't really care. They realised that, no matter how awful a person is, they still deserve mercy.

They stood there, rooted to the spot, until they couldn't hear her footsteps anymore.


Ah, the Undyne fight. It is over and done with. You'll notice Papyrus didn't call during the chase. His call suggesting they hang out will be the beginning of the next chapter.

Now, on with the Obligatory Facts About This Chapter Segment!

1. Temmie is running a very unsavoury operation. Tax evasion and scams are the short answer for what it is.

2. MK's line "You, alright? I learned it from watching you!" was (obviously) a reference to an anti-drug PSA where a father walks in on his son smoking weed.

3. I desperately wanted to include Undyne saying "ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? Warriors don't do drugs! Was it warriors? Was it even drugs to begin with?" to reference an old campaign by the American Amusement Machine Association. So, whenever you would boot up an old arcade game, you'd see the message "Winners Don't Use Drugs". It was supposed to be ironic, considering Undyne's high on meth, but I couldn't find a suitable way to fit it in. Maybe during the Undyne hangout?

4. About Frisk's flirting... I just wanted them to die that way once. Where their flirting actually gets them killed for once. Not sorry.

5. Surprise! The quintessential author cameo! That monster is a representation of how I draw my character. Upended crescent-shaped head, square floating in the middle, fascination with custard creams... Really the only reason for this was that I had dialogue of my character trying to sell Frisk a 'Premium Custard Cream', raising the price each time Frisk refused.

6. Yes, Timothy is MK's canon UNDERSNORT name. Being known as "Monster Kid" just isn't enough for me. And to me, he was always a Timothy. So, there you are.

7. Frisk's edgy dialogue to Undyne on their last attempt is a direct reference to Dr. Andonuts' pre-fight dialogue in the Earthbound Halloween Hack. I had a very vivid picture of Frisk finally snapping and completely losing it at Undyne, and could think of nothing better than that speech. You'll notice that a lot of his insults or sentence placements have been swapped around or changed to fit the circumstances better.

8. What drug is Temmie on? Well, asides from the Temmie Flakes, that'd be sugar. Sugar provides all the conceivable highs you'll need for the rest of your life, and it's legal, too!

9. Yeah, Undyne fought with a spear/harpoon gun. I just knew if she was even more aggressive because of her meth usage, it had to be a vicious murder weapon like that.

10. I have themes for all the characters but I haven't said them yet. I decided to just wait until a suitable time to tell you of them, and now is a better time than any!

Napstablook — Ghost Fight Remix by Kamex.

Toriel — Cardiac Arrest (Underfell) by keno9988iii.

Papyrus — BONESCUFFLE (The Underground Radio) by DM DOKURO.

Undyne — Vanquisher (X-Tale) by NyxTheShield.

Mad Dummy — Dummy! Remix by Electric Mudkip.

11. Yeah, the chapter's title is a reference to the song "I'm the Bad Guy" which was altered for an UNDERTALE animation by GaelRice. It's called "The Hero", but since Undyne's current actions are morally reprehensible, I added a little question mark to it.

12. The "bald drug cooks and flaming death swords" are a reference to two things. "bald drug cooks" references Breaking Bad as Chara rightly puts it, and the "burning super death swords" is a reference to the Windows 7 Destruction video by Joel from Vinesauce. Friggin' hilarious. Go check it out.

Lastly, apologies for the lateness. I got sick and felt like shit for a couple of days, before forcing myself to at least work a little bit on UNDERSNORT, but then I ended up writing maybe 2-3,000 words.

Also, my my, has anyone seen that FF has updated its document manager to extend the life of documents to 365 days? Life expectancy sure has gotten better.

And remember! True heroes don't use drugs!
- offbrandbiscuit