"Spanish Sahara" by Foals

Setting the camera's tripod up perfectly, making sure the timer was set, Max Caulfield stood in front of her photo memorial wall and counted down the seconds before the Polaroid camera Chloe had given her would take the shot. The idea had struck her as she had been taking a selfie with Chloe a couple days ago; the two had been at the pier and Max had opted for spontaneity when she suddenly took their picture together. A picture of myself among my pictures, Max thought as the camera flashed behind her, A recording of moments that represent my life so far. She had initially shrugged off the idea as stupid and somewhat egotistical. As the days had gone on, however, the notion of taking a photo of herself in such a manner budded from a random thought into an executable idea. Now, turning around to collect the photo as it dangled from the instant camera's ejector, Max held the image in her hands and watched as it started to develop.

"Wish these photos didn't always take forever to develop," Max grumbled as she gently placed the new picture on her bed and began to take apart the tripod and timer she had procured from the art room. While Max would not call the act outright theft, as she had every intention of returning the tripod and timer, she could not deny that Chloe's personality was definitely rubbing off on her.

With the tripod and timer neatly placed by her camera bag, Max took a look in the mirror and ran a hand through her hair. Rather than going with Chloe's suggestion of black hair with red bangs, Max had simply told the stylist that she wanted the color gone. Her mousey, auburn hair restored, she felt a little conflicted. Maybe I should've dyed it pink again, or had it cut in some new way? Max thought, questioning herself as she often did. Her thin-lipped visage staring back at her as she examined herself, Max finally let out an irritated sigh before leaving the mirror's proximity for the phone vibrating at her desk.

Chloe: Max, you up yet?

Max: Of course I am. First day back after the suspension – wouldn't miss it for anything…-_-

Chloe: NO EMOJI

Chloe: But yeah, I feel ya. At least we crammed the assignments so there's no bullshit on that end

Max: Thanks for your help with all that, btw. I'd have been a goner if you hadn't intervened.

Chloe: Like I'm gonna let you flunk anything. You need to graduate so we can gtfo of this town, dude!

Chloe: Two Whales? Breakfast?

Max: Why don't you meet me at the caf here instead? I'll buy your breakfast here, instead of watching you plead with your mom for a free meal

Chloe: Ouch

Chloe: Okay, tho. Just hope the food doesn't suck.

Smiling as she tucked her phone into the camera bag on her futon couch, Max slung the bag over her shoulders before opting to leave the photography equipment behind. I can always take it back during lunch, when no one's around, Max thought as she exited her room. Seeing Victoria open her door just as Max had closed her own, the brunette stood her ground when Victoria took notice of who else was in the hallway. Eyeing the pixie blonde, Max unwaveringly stared Victoria down as she approached. Max did not hate Victoria, but she just did not understand her. Why is someone who has so much talent so hellbent on making other people miserable? Max thought as she braced herself when Victoria opened her mouth to speak.

"I'm best friends with Nathan, so you better watch your ass from this moment forward, bitch," Victoria hissed, her eyes narrowed as the threat loomed over Max for a moment.

"Yeah, well I don't really give a shit," Max replied, seeing the mild shock in Victoria's eyes at the declaration, "You can pull all the strings you want, Victoria, but you can't pull mine. Not anymore. I'm tired of the catty, pettiness. You want to make people miserable? Fine. But I'm done playing your games."

"…We'll see about that, Caulfield," Victoria replied before she headed towards the girls' restroom, pausing at the open doorway to give Max one last ugly glare.

"What a great way to start my day off…," Max grumbled as she headed down the hall, head lowered under the weight of the same petty school drama she was trying to avoid; the avoidance was not getting off to the best start.

"Hey, Max," Dana said from her doorway before Max passed by, "Don't let Victoria get to you. You stood up to her last week and it was awesome. 'Bout time someone did."

"I don't see anyone else doing it," Max blurted out in frustration, hands clenched into fists, "But thanks for being supportive. It means a lot."

"Any plans for breakfast?"

"Chloe'll be here soon. I'm treating her to breakfast at the cafeteria."

"Care for some extra company?" Dana asked, her own backpack already slung over her shoulder, "I'm meeting Trevor there before we hang out with the other skaters."

"Uh, sure. Wait – Trevor? I thought you were dating Logan?"

"Oooh, so you do pay attention to other people aside from Chloe…"

"T-That's not how I really come across, is it?" Max asked, cringing until Dana giggled a bit.

"Relax, Max. I'm just fucking with you. It's cute to see you two together all the time, though I do think you ought to some attention to your friends. There's a Vortex Party this weekend. You and Chloe should crash it!"

"It's a school-wide party, Dana," Max said, the girls now heading down down the stairs towards the dormitory exit, "How can students 'crash' a party that's held at the school?"

"Sneak into the VIP area and don't take no for an answer, of course! Victoria has Courtney keep an eye on the entrance like a goddamn hawk, but I'm sure you two would find a way…"

Max thought about this as they headed outside, Dana taking off a little faster as Trevor waved at her from across the courtyard. Meanwhile, Max nearly got tackled when Chloe came running for a hug. Stabilizing herself against a bench, Max's butt landed on the seat from the force of impact from Chloe's "hug".

"Trying to kill me, Chloe, or just smear me all over the ground?" Max asked, trying not to laugh in spite of the faint pain emanating from her behind.

"Sorry, but I can't help but want to pounce all over you when I don't get to, um, wake up next to you," Chloe said apologetically, scratching at her beanie like she always did when she was nervous, "How's your morning starting off, babe?"

"Better now that you're here. Victoria basically threatened me with Nathan," Max said, rolling her eyes.

"Nathan Prescott the Third. Oooh, he's so money," Chloe said with a grunt, "Sketchy asshole. I've got your back, Max. Fuck their rich kid bullshit. He'll get what's coming to him."

"How you gonna manage to save me from him? His dad's only damn-near the sole benefactor of the school. I mean, my dorm is named after their family," Max said, getting up from the bench to link elbows with Chloe as they started to head towards the cafeteria.

"I have my ways, Caulfield. I can totally show you tonight, as a matter of fact. After my shift at the diner."

"I'm totally going to sit in on you working at Two Whales your entire shift," Max teased, smiling when she noticed Chloe's flustered look, "You look cute in the uniform."

"Eat me."

"God, no. You're high so often you're like a Chloe-shaped pot gummy."

"Oh, fuck off. You're such a smartass," Chloe said, a feigned pout on her face before she smirked and planted a kiss on Max's head.


Still fairly early in the morning, Max and Chloe arrived shortly after Dana and Trevor when they walked into the cafeteria. A single room double the size of a classroom, two rows of buffet-style serving areas were against the far wall with café tables scattered around the remainder of the facility. Grabbing a couple trays for herself and Max as the brunette walked over to Dana and Trevor's table with some chairs taken from the table next to theirs, Chloe loaded up her tray with scrambled eggs, bacon, and biscuits while Max headed over to the beverage station for two tall mugs of coffee. Waiting for Max to finish preparing their drinks, Chloe stood at the checkout station and grinned when Max flashed her ID card at the cashier before swiping it through the card reader.

"Man, I've gotta do breakfast with you here more often. No way would Mom let me get ahold of this much grub without talking my ear off about 'responsibility' and 'hard work'," Chloe said cheerfully as she handed Max a tray laden with pancakes and eggs while taking her prepared coffee from the brunette in return, "For real, though. Thanks, Max."

"The things I do for our relationship, I swear to Dog," Max pipped up, laughing a little when Chloe scowled in response, "You're not the only one who can tease."

"Yeah, but you do it hella more often than I do."

"You love it, though."

"Yeah, yeah…," Chloe said, taking her seat as Max also sat down at the table previously occupied by Dana and Trevor, "Yo, Trev. S'up?"

"Just getting some food in my system before Dana and I go chill on the steps. You and Max gonna join us after your own feasts?" Trevor asked, his mouth half full of muffin, "The more the merrier, plus Justin's got some pot brownies so we can 'bake' a little before class."

"I did my wake-and-bake before I came here, so I'm good," Chloe said, eyeing Max across the table, "And this girl handles her weed terribly, so no goodies for her."

"This girl can speak for herself," Max chimed in before eating a piece of pancake, "I will pass, though. I don't think Blackwell is ready for Max Caulfield as a stoner."

"Ouch!" Trevor cried out, hand to his chest as Dana laughed, "The hurt, the pain!"

"Don't sweat it, Max. I don't touch the stuff, either," Dana said with a wink.

Focused more on her food and girlfriend than the company, Chloe slid her foot against Max's and smiled when Max's face slightly reddened before the punk resumed eating her food. Practically inhaling the eggs and bacon, Chloe nibbled on a biscuit as she watched Max finish up her stack of pancakes and poke at the eggs a bit; opting to nurse her coffee instead, Max took a few sips and Chloe just watched her girlfriend. She enjoyed these moments with Max, when there was peace and quiet. Chloe needed the relative tranquility as badly as she figured Max did; After last week, Chloe thought, we could both use a legit break. Even here at school. Getting up, her coffee mug half empty and her tray sporting food crumbs, Chloe took it to the washing station and left it on a rack with the few others already collected just in time to see Max get up to follow suit.

"Dude, chill. Enjoy your coffee and time with your friend," Chloe said, Max looking at her curiously, "I'm gonna go hang with Rachel, see what's good."

Watching Max awkwardly look behind her towards Dana and Trevor, then at her, Chloe sighed and kissed Max on the cheek.

"It's not like I'm gonna disappear or anything, Max. For reals, go and chat with Dana. I'll see you in class, or before, yeah?"

Getting a nod from Max before the brunette returned to the table with her friend, Chloe sighed and headed out of the cafeteria. The girl needs to not be so goddamn awkward as much. It's not like we aren't together nearly all the time, Chloe thought as she stuffed her hands in her pockets and headed out the door, We both need each other, but we also need our friends, too. Fuck me, but I am half tempted to go back in there and just chill with Max. The mushiness is definitely in need of being dampened a little…though the PDAs are nice as fuck…and the holding hands…and the… Chloe stopped mid-thought and tore her beanie off, stuffing it into the back pocket of her jeans. Max on her mind, the blue-haired girl found difficulty sometimes in thinking about anyone else but her girlfriend. Forcefully heading towards the steps, Chloe smiled in relief when she saw Rachel there with some of the skaters and plopped down on the steps next to her friend.

"Yo," Chloe said, giving a little salute to Rachel before leaning back on her elbows, "How's life, Rach? Feels like forever since we hung out…"

"Dude, it's been a bit. You and Max have been so wrapped up in each other that it's like no one can really breathe in between the two of you," Rachel bluntly stated, "I'm surprised she isn't with you."

"I left her in the caf with Dana and Trev. I… I'm worried a lil bit…"

"About what? Aside from a week's suspension, you seem to be having everything going your way, Chlo."

Chloe mumbled to herself a little bit before letting out a long, hard sigh. If anyone would give their thoughts to her straight, Rachel would.

"Do you think Max and I… Do you think we're good together? Like, we're not too wrapped up in each other?"

"It's young love, dumbass," Rachel said, smirking, "Of course you're going to be wrapped up in each other all the goddamn time. That's not entirely a bad thing, though. Why ask now, when you two have been together for a bit?"

"You know how I get? I'm feeling a little paranoid, like what if she-?"

"Chloe, stop," Rachel said, holding up a hand to silence the exasperated girl, "You panic whenever you get super close to someone. I know this from experience. Just chill and let everything come as it does. Max isn't going anywhere this time. She's here for you, moron."

"She's here for Blackwell Academy," Chloe blurted out, scowling.

"She's here because you are here. Why else would she come back to this place, let alone stay here after all the drama that's ensued since school started? Are you high?"

"A lil, yeah. And I know I'm panicking, okay? I just… Am I right for her?" Chloe asked, hand clutching at her t-shirt, "I just worry sometimes."

Chloe felt a little more reassured when Rachel put a hand on her shoulder and smiled. She got this way on occasion, when someone was getting close enough that her abandonment fears would start to set in; Chloe could not avoid feeling this way, ingrained as it was into her being after years of dealing with her father's death and Max's initial retreat to Seattle. Sitting forward, her body slumping somewhat, Chloe pulled out a cigarette and lit up. Taking a long drag from the nicotine fix, she calmed herself down by clearing her mind and stating what was true and what was not in her head.

Max is here, and we're together.

She's not going to run again. She promised.

I can't push her away. I can't do that again.

She'd never forgive me if I did.

God, I need to get my shit together…

"Hey, you okay?" Chloe heard Max ask as the brunette came up from behind, startling the punk a little as her cigarette fell out of her mouth and landed between her feet, "Chloe?"

"I'm…okay," Chloe managed to verbally stumble before putting a hand to her face and getting up, "Look, uh, can we talk?"

"Of course," Max answered simply, not prodding at all for what Chloe wished to discuss. Chloe was grateful for that.

Stuffing her hands back into her jacket, Chloe motioned towards the parking lot with a jerk of her chin and Max followed along beside her. Normally, they'd either be arm-in-arm or holding hands; the lack of physical contact seemed to perturb the brunette as Chloe noticed the slight disappointment on Max's face. As they headed down the steps to the lot, Chloe made a beeline for her truck and turned around to see Max heading towards her Vespa. Confused, under the assumption that Max was going to follow, Chloe instead grabbed her bag from the truck's cab and walked over to where Max was messing with Delilah.

"I, uh, figured you would follow me over to the truck," Chloe mentioned nonchalantly.

"I haven't ridden her in days," Max replied, "I just wanted to make sure nobody had messed with her while I've been away. You said you wanted to talk?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I did. Look, here's the thing…," Chloe said, nearly choking on her words as so many others threatened to come out, "I hella like being with you, Max. Totally. I just… I worry sometimes."

"Um, about what? Oh God, I didn't do something, did I? I don't think I did…," Max said, nervousness and some anxiety evident on both her face and the grabbing of an arm, "Chloe… Are you breaking up with me…?"

"What?! No! No, I… Goddammit…," Chloe grumbled, closing her eyes as she exhaled hard through her nose, "Look, I panic when people get close, okay? And you're like 'danger close', so I'm getting a little anxious."

"Chloe, I'm not going out with you to intentionally fuck you over," Max said, reaching out to take Chloe's hand only to frown when the other girl pulled back, "Chlobear, I-I love you…"

"Fuck. This is all wrong. Nothing's coming out right," Chloe grumbled, lighting a cigarette with a shaky hand, "Max, I just get worried sometimes that we'll-"

"Max Caulfield, right?" A voice asked, approaching footsteps indicating a third party was approaching. Seeing over Max's shoulder, Chloe narrowed her eyes at the sight of Nathan Prescott.

"Uh, yeah? That's me," Max said, instinctively taking a step back as the boy nearly got in her face, "What do you want?"

"I don't like that you hit my friend, I don't like your girlfriend, and I sure as fuck don't like you," Nathan spat out, Max flinching at the unadulterated hatred coming from the boy's mouth, "You best watch your ass because my family practically owns this school and the town. If you're smart, you'll just shut your fucking mouth, keep your hands off other people, and be the cliché quiet girl like Victoria says you are."

"Hey, I didn't start anything with Victoria," Max fired back, taking a step forward as Chloe just watched, stupefied at Max's sudden onset of bravery, "Victoria threw a dodgeball at my face, has incessantly teased me, made fun of me, and she started that last fight with the note in Mr. Jefferson's class. You want someone to blame, someone to vent your rage at? Go find her."

Chloe watched as the two students got into a verbal sparring match, Max and Nathan's hands both clenched at their sides as they kept firing off one round after another. For Max, the words were full of bitterness and anger while Nathan's were openly hostile and somewhat deranged. Hearing Max stand up for herself seemed to rectify Chloe's worries. Max wouldn't leave me. She told me she loves me. God, I just need to chill the fuck out and not let my own shit get in the way of what I've got going. Grabbing Max's hand, forcing her fingers to interlace with the brunette's clenched fist, Chloe stood next to her girlfriend and stared down Nathan. Having a few inches over him, Chloe loomed before the Prescott boy with narrowed eyes and a clenched fist of her own.

"Fuck off, Prescott," Chloe said, her voice cool and somewhat flippant, "We don't have the time or patience for your crazy-ass rantings. Why don't you just go hit Frank up so you can get your daily fix of whatever it is you take to stay on the crazy train?"

Chloe observed Nathan glaring at her, then at Max, and back again. Watching his expression of haughty anger give way to a slight anxiousness, Chloe knew that she had struck a nerve with the boy and went so far as to wave when Nathan stomped off, laughing a little with the boy gave both her and Max the finger as he did so.

"See? Shit like this is why I steer clear of Nathan. Especially after…well, you know," Chloe said, not realizing how tightly she was holding Max's hand. Looking over to see her girlfriend visibly in pain, Chloe looked down and quickly let go, watching the color return to Max's fingers, "Sorry. But that was hella cool, you standing up to him. Didn't see it coming, to be honest."

"I'm just tired of people thinking they can fuck with me whenever they please," Max said, a displeased expression on her face before she suddenly looked very curious when turning towards Chloe, "You got cut off. What was it that you were going to say, Chloe?"

"Forget it."

"No, really. I want to know."

Chloe groaned and rolled her eyes before leaning forward so as to hug the brunette, holding her tightly.

"I'm just fucked in the head when it comes to people who I get close with. Even when we first started dating, I felt like there was a buffer between us, a space. But that space is gone, and I don't know what to do," Chloe said, whispering the words into Max's ear.

"We just be together, maybe?" Max suggested, hugging Chloe back as the punk was in need of physical reassurance, "I've told you a bunch of times already, Chlobear. I'm not going anywhere without you. For cereal."


Max sat in Ms. Grant's class with Chloe next to her and all she could think about was what her girlfriend had said. So confused by Chloe's words, and more than a little worried, Max mulled them over again and again; even going so far as to actually write them down in her journal with a question mark emblazoned next to them, Max pondered what would make Chloe feel this way. Does she think that I'm going to hurt her? Is it that she's afraid of being hurt? Max thought, making a point of blocking any potential snooping into her journal with both arms around the notebook. Max could not think of a reason or thing she had done that might have Chloe's guard up, save for when she left for Seattle all those years ago. It all comes back to that day, when I ran off after…and William's funeral… She's still in pain. Max knew that was an obvious statement; Chloe herself had mentioned post-traumatic stress and Rachel had talked with her about Chloe's depression. More than anything, Max wished there was some way she could reassure Chloe in a concrete manner.

"Max? Could you perhaps join us in the class?" Ms. Grant asked, returning Max to the here and now as she abruptly sat up, garnering a few snickers from the class. "I know science may not seem the most important subject to you, but I can assure you it will be well worth your time."

"Sorry, Ms. Grant. Just… A lot on my mind, is all," Max said in apology, shyly smiling before she returned to her notes and began copying off what Chloe had jotted down, the punk oblivious to Max's daydreaming.

"Dude, you've gotta cut the spacing out off," Chloe quietly reprimanded her, "I can only do so much with helping you out in this class and math."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry," Max again apologized, though her curt tone of voice got a look of disapproval from Chloe in response, "Just weighing some things over in my head."

Half an hour and two full pages of additional notes later, Max was thankful to be out of the science lab. She was barely holding onto her B in the course, but she was thankful for that grade in the first place. Wouldn't really have it if not for Chloe, Max thought, Kate helped too, but Chloe's like an ace when it comes to math and science. Heading straight for her locker to put away the math and science textbooks she had in her camera bag, Max slammed the locker door shut and walked over to Chloe's locker. The punk was taking her time putting things away for a change rather than stuffing everything in as quick as she could, so Max decided to saunter up to Chloe and put an arm around the taller girl's waist.

"Why, hello there," Chloe said, the crooked grin on her face that always seemed to leave Max feeling as though there were butterflies in her stomach, "S'up?"

"Lunch. Let's go somewhere different this time. My treat," Max offered, standing on her tip-toes to kiss Chloe on the lips in a surprising public display of affection that left Chloe a little flush in the cheeks.

"Oh, um, sure," Chloe replied, quickly collecting herself, "Sounds like a plan. You got anything specific in mind?"

"There's an Asian restaurant a couple blocks by Two Whales. We always drive past it, but I don't think I've ever been. It any good?"

"It's not bad, I guess. Haven't been there for a while. Why the sudden interest in taking me out on a lunch date?" Chloe asked before she scowled a little bit and put a hand on her hip. "This shit isn't about what I said in the parking lot, is it? Max, I just-"

"Chloe," Max said, cutting her girlfriend off with the sincerity in her voice, "It is my responsibility as your girlfriend to make sure that you know how much I love you. I don't want you worrying about possibly getting hurt, okay?"

"Dude, that shit's outta your control. It's in my head, y'know? Abandonment issues, depression, PTSD – you can't fix me."

"I'm not trying to. I just want you to know that you are loved," Max said, caressing Chloe's cheek before she took the punk's hand in her own, "Satisfied?"

"Like, never, but let's just see how this goes down," Chloe said, surrendering to Max's offer of free food and great company.

Riding on Max's Vespa rather than taking Chloe's truck, the two girls headed to the Asian restaurant in town with an awkward silence between them. Not speeding through town like she normally might have, Max had hoped for Chloe to strike a conversation or at least speak up but had been met with silence. There had not been an awkwardness between them for a little while, so the tension Max could feel made her anxiety a little higher than she would have liked as they pulled into the restaurant's parking lot. Switching off the engine and pocketing her keys, Max took Chloe's helmet once it was offered and stowed both pieces of headgear in the side compartments before following her girlfriend inside.

"'Asian Buffet'? That's the name of this place?" Max asked as they entered the foyer. "Not very original."

"It's Arcadia Bay, dude. Don't come in expecting some high-class shit. We're lucky to even have a Starbucks, for fuck's sake," Chloe replied, opening the door which led into the restaurant itself. Letting Max go first, a faint smile on both girls' faces, the punk followed close behind, "Where you wanna sit?"

"A booth, preferably."

"Well, it's 'seat yourself' here, so let's go grab us a booth."

Finding a booth that was set against the back wall of the restaurant, Max sat with her facing the entirety of the restaurant while Chloe took the opposite seat. The waitress came a minute or so later, and both girls requested hot tea as their beverage. Sitting across from Chloe, Max blew on her tea and took a sip while Chloe headed to the buffet to load up a couple plates for them. Watching Chloe browse through the entrees and side dishes, Max's pained expression gave away the hurt she felt over her girlfriend's hidden fragility. Well, hidden to everyone but Rachel and me, Max thought, forcibly smiling as cheerfully as she could when Chloe returned. For Max, there was Kung Pao Chicken, steamed broccoli, and chow mein noodles. Chloe herself had loaded up on egg rolls, vegetable fried rice, and fried shrimp that smelled mildly of honey. Taking the chopsticks that Chloe had offered her, Max started to pick at her food but then laid the chopsticks down. Seeing that Chloe had noticed this, Max looked up at her plainly and opened her mouth to speak but was silenced by the somewhat cold look on Chloe's face.

"Don't wanna talk about it," Chloe said, gesturing with her chopsticks to the restaurant and its other patrons, "Especially not here. Goddamn, Max, you just don't know when you should quit sometimes…"

"I-I just want to help, Chloe…," Max said, the wounded tone garnering a little sympathy from Chloe as the punk's cool demeanor gave way to one of resignation.

"…You can't, Max. This… It's like it is fucking burned into my brain, m'kay? There isn't any pill or counseling my mom didn't have me try. I'm…I'm just broken. You can't fix me."

"I'm not trying to fix you, Chloe. I love you. I just want to help."

"Then you have to give me time, okay?" Chloe said, laying her own chopsticks down as she swallowed a couple shrimp and some rice, "If you really want to help, you'll just be here with me. Just be."

Max pondered what Chloe had said, the wheels turning inside her mind. She did not want to push anything on Chloe, or try and get the punk into anything she was not up for. At the same time, however, Max could clearly see that Chloe was hurting, had been hurting, and it struck a chord deep inside her heart. Picking up her chopsticks slowly, Max just nodded and began to eat. Feeling Chloe watch her for a bit before resuming her own meal, Max ate in silence until Chloe spoke up again.

"Skip the rest of school with me," Chloe said, her tone conspiratorial and mischievous as she leaned forward, "I want to show you something."

"Y-You want me to skip Mr. Jefferson's class?" Max stammered out in a whisper, a little shocked at the notion. "That's the only course I really give a shit about!"

"Yeah, I know, but you'll survive missing one class. Besides, you missed all of last week thanks to that suspension. So, what's one more class to the pyre?"

"I… I don't know, Chloe."

"I don't ask for much, Max. We usually stick together and do our own thing. But this time I really need you to come with me," Chloe implored, the look on her face a mixture of worry and mild agitation.

Max nodded again after a moment, and the girls at the remainder of their meals in silence.


The partly cloudy sky gave the junkyard a type of ambiance as Chloe led Max along, a type of serenity that she always felt when surrounded by the derelict cars and abandoned trash. Abandoned, like I was, Chloe thought with a grim resolution before she looked over to see Max patiently following. The hipster was obviously perturbed about skipping out on her favorite class, her eyes had been glued to her phone as she received messages and emails once classes for the day had been resumed, but Chloe needed them together for this. The situation required another person and Max had once more become her closest confidant. Plus, she is my girlfriend. I…I've been kinda shitty all day, so I hope this won't just make things worse. We swore we would be honest with each other, so here's hoping, Chloe thought as she patted the back of her jacket.

"Why did we need to go back to school just to take your truck out here? We could've ridden on Delilah just fine," Max said, speaking up for the first time since they had last spoken at the restaurant.

"What I needed for here was in my truck," Chloe answered simply. The statement was truthful, after all, "Couldn't do this without it."

"Do what, Chloe? Why are we out here? What the fuck are you up to?"

Chloe reached around to the back of her jeans and produced the revolver, the reaction from Max immediate as she brought a hand to her chest and took a couple steps back. Chloe rolled her eyes, but internally she was a bit frightened herself at the idea of being armed. Also, seeing Max flinch away from her did not make the situation any easier.

"Chillax, dude. Not even loaded," Chloe said, pulling the cylinder latch so that the empty chambers for the rounds in her jacket pocket were visible to her girlfriend, "This is what I meant by making sure Nathan wouldn't be able to fuck with me, or us, ever again."

"Chloe… Chloe, this is so wrong," Max implored, stepping forward to lower the weapon while it was still in Chloe's hand, "The second gun missing… Oh my God, did you swipe that from David's gun cabinet? I wondered why he would take two guns – now I know he only took one, because you have the other."

"Max, I know what I'm doing!" Chloe exclaimed, pulling away from the other girl as she once again displayed the empty cylinder. "God, you're such a fucking child sometimes!"

"Coming from the person wielding a handgun like it's nothing!" Max snapped back, arms crossed. "This is why you brought me here? To watch you possibly hurt yourself?"

"No, I brought you here so that we could test out this bad boy," Chloe said, trying her best not to sound as pissed off as she felt, "You'll need to know how to handle it, too."

"I already know how to handle a gun, Chloe. Dad has one for his job, so he taught me," Max stated, stretching her hand out, "Give it to me. Those things are dangerous."

"No, I'm dangerous. Max… Aren't you fucking sick of douchebags like Nathan and David fucking around with you all the time, making life a living hell?"

"That sounds like you more than me, and you're just coming up with excuses for stealing that. Excuses and valid reasons are not the same thing."

Chloe clutched at her beanie with her free hand while her other hand shakily held onto the revolver, her anger and bitterness boiling over. Snapping her eyes open after closing them tightly, she got right in Max's face and scowled at the girl. Chloe was livid, her feelings from the morning pouring into the powerlessness she felt when Nathan and David sprung into her mind's eye.

"So fucking what, Max? Lemme tell you something, 'kay? This town is shit, most of the people are shit, and I'm sick of being stepped on like I'm somehow less than they are. Every fucking day I went home to the same abusive step-prick after school where I'd be shit on by the likes of Victoria and Nathan. Rachel would back me up, when she was around. I'm tired of it, and I'm tired of…of feeling like there's nothing I can do."

"Chloe," Max said, her words sounding measured and carefully chosen, "Taking a gun to school isn't the answer. It isn't even a choice. Do you have any idea what might happen if you're caught, let alone if you ever tried to use it? Jail, if not worse, and Joyce would be devastated. Never mind that I'd pretty much fall apart. Do you want to be like those kids on TV, who take a gun to school and lose their shit?"

"I wouldn't-"

"Maybe not, but you sure as hell aren't thinking clearly if you actually believed I would back this play," Max stated flatly, her head hung down a little as she shook her head, "I-I can't believe you would try and rationalize this. This is the farthest thing from 'cool' you could possibly be."

Chloe could hear the disappointment and panic in Max's words, in her voice, and they reached deep into the core of her being. She had thought Max would be hesitant, maybe even a little prickly about the idea, but to actually hear the words and see how her girlfriend reacted shook her. The gun dropping from her hand, Chloe fell to her knees and would've just curled up into a ball on the ground if not for Max catching her just in the nick of time. Cradling Chloe as the blue-haired girl choked back a sob, Max stroked Chloe's hair with one hand while grabbing the revolver with a sleeve of her hoodie as she tucked it into a pocket.

"I just wanted to feel safe, for once. To feel protected," Chloe said in a defeated tone, tears rolling down her cheek, "I really am fucked up, aren't I?"

"You are protected. Chloe, you are loved and cherished and you need to realize that," Max said, continuing to stroke her girlfriend's hair, "A gun… It'll only make things worse, not better. Please understand that."

"I… I get it," Chloe said reluctantly, looking up at Max with a tired expression, "I'm just so done with everything sometimes that I get carried away."

"You need to talk to me when things get this heavy for you Chloe, when you're feeling this low. If not me, then Rachel or even your mom. Joyce would listen, and I don't think she would judge you."

"Naw, but she'd totally have me pumped up with meds and I don't think I could live like that again. I know I couldn't. Probably go see a counselor again, too…"

"Chloe… That might not be a bad thing," Max said, holding up a hand when Chloe's eyes immediately narrowed, "I see the school counselor sometimes, y'know. And when I was in Seattle I saw a shrink over my anxiety and depression, too. Admitting you need help isn't a bad thing, or a weakness, Chlobear."

"Sure as fuck feels like it," Chloe grumbled, obstinate to the idea of needing to talk to someone about her feelings. She had a hard enough time doing so with Max, and they were in a still-budding relationship, "…If I did go to a shrink, would you come with? Even if you hang out in the waiting room, or wherever, it'd totally help me knowing you're there."

"Of course I would, Chloe. You know I'm here for you," Max reassured her, kissing Chloe on the forehead before the two girls got to their feet, "But first we need to return this gun to David's cabinet. Or we at least need to get rid of it."

"Dude's probably got a lock on the cabinet by now. He had to have noticed that one of his guns was missing…"

"When did you take it?"

"A couple nights before he took off after getting railed on by Mom."

"…How about we bury it here, somewhere in the junkyard? That was if he searches for it or gets suspicious he won't find anything incriminating?"

"How devious," Chloe said, a small grin forming on her face, "I like this side of you, Max."

"Don't get used to it."

Together, hand in hand, Max and Chloe found a small secluded spot on the other side of the derelict school bus where they could bury the gun. The ground already disturbed by some animal likely sniffing around for food or who knows what, Max and Chloe dug into the ground with their bare hands until a hole sizable enough for the gun and its small amount of rounds could fit. Pitching the gun into the hole, Max let Chloe dump the bullets into the hole before they covered it back up. Getting to their feet, the girls slowly walked the length of the junkyard before heading back to the truck.

"Feel better?" Max asked, looking over at Chloe as the forlorn, blue-haired girl looked off into the distance.

"A little. Still hella shaky, though," Chloe replied, smiling when Max placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "I'm just glad you're here."

"Me, too."


Max refused to let Chloe spend the night by herself, insisting that either the punk stayed with her at the dorms or that she go with Chloe to her house. Nodding in agreement when Chloe elected to spend the night in her own bed, Max practically dragged Chloe to her dorm room so that she could get a change of clothes and some other essentials. Her mind still racing over the fact that Chloe had actually thought about bringing a gun to school, Max was rattled but did not let it show. If I hadn't been there to see the gun, to hear Chloe out, what would've happened? Would she have brought it to school? Would she have been caught? Wowser… Max thought as she hastily gathered from her room what she needed for the night, trying her best to keep an eye on Chloe as she went from one side of her small dorm room to the other. Finished gathering what she needed – clothes, laptop, shower supplies, and some film just in case – Max slung her camera bag over her shoulder and eyed her unusually quiet girlfriend and gave her a hug. Not romantic or arousing by any means, Max simply held onto Chloe with all the strength she had as the blue-haired girl in turn leaned her head down on Max's shoulder.

"We'll get through this, Chloe. Together," Max said, sounding more like a statement of fact than anything else.

"Thank you, Maxaroni," Chloe replied, her voice soft and a little frail, "I… I think we should go talk to Joyce before we head to my place. I don't want to tell her everything, sure as fuck nothing about the gun, but she needs to know that…that I need help. Again."

"Of course. Though, maybe we should wait until after she's off work and at the house so we don't have this discussion in a public place," Max suggested, smiling a bit when Chloe snorted in response.

"She's at home now, I think. She has a late shift at the diner, so she should be at the house."

Letting Chloe lead the way, eyes only on her as they went through the hall and out the building, Max had tunnel vision for Chloe only as they made their way through the courtyard and quad before making it to the parking lot. Feeling a little at ease that there was no sign of Nathan this time around, or anyone else for that matter, Max offered to give Chloe a ride on her Vespa since her girlfriend clearly looked a little bit shaken up at the prospect of what was about to be discussed.

The drive was quiet, but not out of a sense of awkwardness like before. Max thought the feeling she was picking up on from Chloe was more contemplative than anything, as she'd occasionally look over her shoulder at stop signs and traffic lights to see the distant look in the punk's eyes. Turning right to head into Arcadia Bay's suburban area, Max took her time and went a little under the speed limit so as to not rush their arrival. The last thing Chloe needed was pressure, she knew. Arriving at the house a little before the sun started to set, Max pulled Delilah into the driveway and dropped the kickstand down. Revving the engine a little to get a dry chuckle out of Chloe, Max smiled before switching the engine off. Stowing the helmets away, Max let Chloe lead the way to the front door at her own pace and was surprised when Chloe knocked rather than just walk in like she usually would. She's really nervous about this. Then again, I would be too if the roles were reversed, Max thought as Joyce opened the door with a surprised look on her face.

"Chloe? Everythin'… Oh, oh honey…," Joyce said, pulling her daughter in for a hug as Chloe suddenly burst into tears.

"I'm so sorry," Chloe choked out between sobs, "I'm such a fuck-up."

"Chloe…," Max said, pouting, as Joyce ushered her inside while helping her daughter into the house.

The three of them sat down at the dinner table as Chloe laid everything out with an exhausted look on her face. Max listened in silence, knowing that anything she might say or want to say would just be counterproductive; Chloe needed to get so much off her chest and the words broke Max's heart as the blue-haired girl let as much out as she could. She did not mention the gun, of course, but Chloe spoke of feeling helpless and powerless often. Chloe went in-depth over how her depression would take hold of her, how she would put on a smile and try to pretend like everything was okay. William came up more than once, as did Max, with Joyce and Max both scooting in closer to Chloe so that they were sitting on either side of the sad girl as they each held one of Chloe's hands. By the time Chloe was done speaking, a plan was formulated by Joyce. With an insistence that she not be medicated again, Chloe was agreeable to the idea of counseling so long as either Joyce or Max were present with her to provide some sense of security and strength. When Chloe went upstairs to change into her sleep clothes, Max placed a hand over Joyce's and swore that she would always look after Chloe.

No matter what.

Author's Note

Emotional, eh? Writing this chapter was part catharsis for myself and also brutal in the sense that I felt Chloe's mental health was in need of discussion. Clearly, being presented in-game as someone who was in deep emotional pain, I always want to explore Chloe's psychological state. I also wanted to bring to light Chloe's potential depression and clear abandonment issues that she has in a way that would allow for her to seek out help rather than act in a way that could lead to self-harm or harm towards others.

I recently binge-watched 13 Reasons Why on Netflix and while I have a lot of problems with how suicide and mental health was presented in the show, I do think that mental health is something that needs to be discussed. The more I write "Life is Hella" the less I feel it as a slice of life like "End – Hospital/Press Play" and more like a spiritual successor to my Teenage Dirtbag series in the sense of unabashedly looking at and portraying mental health. I've been told by several people that my stories have helped them through tough times, helped them discover things about themselves.

Just remember that you are not alone, that there are people who love you, and that when rough times come you are always loved.

Stay hella, Cinnamon Rolls *hugs and support*