A/N: I just want to apologize for the late update of this Chapter. I was truly heartbroken with the last chapter as I have become truly close to these characters. It took a little while to come up with just the right way these roads needed to be taken. As always I do not own anything that is related to TWILIGHT. I just enjoy playing with them, so let the games begin.
Nash's POV:
That sumbitch had a way with words; he held a power over her that was undeniable.
As he spoke to her I could see a glimmer of hope in her eyes, everything about him drew her in. Just her response of the thought that she might have hurt him was appalling to me. I couldn't watch any longer; the sight was a mental mind fuck as well as the suffocating air that surrounded me. I need to get out of here!
On my way back to my apartment, I couldn't help but replay her actions. Smashing my hand against my steering wheel, the pain in my chest was unbearable.
I ran. I was weak. I couldn't stand the thought of watching her walk away from me like I knew she would. How is it you go to bed with the love of your life only to be woken up to it falling apart? My momma always told me boy if you love something set free, if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't then it wasn't yours. That's exactly what I am gonna do.
Slamming the door to my apartment, I pressed my back to the door and slid down crumbling to the floor. Tears swelled in my eyes as they began to flow; removing my hat I placed it on my knee. I lowered my head in between my legs and started rubbing my hand along my neck. Fuck, she is going to be the death of me.I couldn't help but to laugh as my momma's voice rang through my head. It takes a real man to show weakness sweetie. Damn, I missed my momma.
I jumped in surprise as a warm hand rested on my shoulder.
Looking up at the culprit that had laid their hands on me, I was met with Crystal's questioning eyes. "Nash?"
Shit. I jumped up and almost collided with her by my unexpected movement. I straightened out my clothes, replacing my hat back to its original spot. I pulled myself together as much as I could and said. "Hey."
"Hey yourself." She said as she placed her hands along her hips.
I shrugged. "What?"
Shaking her head "Nothing, why are you here?"
"What the hell do you mean why are you here? Last time I checked this was still my apartment." I snapped.
She scoffed, "Since when?"
"Since, I'm the one still paying the fucking bills. That's when."
She looked a little taken aback by my comment, but recoiled fast. "Boy you better check you're damn self-fast. Don't be snappy; it's not a good look for you. You know what the hell I mean, why are you here?" she asked and pointed around the apartment "And not a Bella's? Better yet why you not sleep?"
I swallowed the vomit that was threating my life. "Long story."
She smirked. "Since you woke me up, seems I got plenty of time. So, what the hell you talking about Willis? I know something is up so spill."
The emotion from them two set me off again and I slammed my fist through the door. Composing myself, I rubbed my neck with one hand and the other pinched the bridge of my nose. I turned back to Crystal, trying to hide the anger that I had just displayed. "That bastard took it upon himself to show up a two o'clock dis morning. I ain't gonna watch that bullshit they got going on over there! They might as well been eye fucking each other. I ain't fucking stupid."
She looked as if she had been slapped. "What!" She scrambled around the living room filtering through shit as she pulled on a jacket, and hopped back down the hall with tennis shoes on.
Furrowing my brow at her actions I asked. "What the hell you doing?"
She sighed harshly. "What the hell does it look like? Firstly you're a dumbass leaving those two alone. Second we are going over there NOW!"
I shook my head. "I'm not going over there!"
She turned fast and popped the back of my head as hard as she could, then pushed me towards the door. Shrugging out of her hold I said more firmly. "I'm not going!"
She popped me once more before pointing her finger in my face. "Austin Nash, yes the hell you are. You have already screwed up leaving her there, that Black is a snake. If my gut is right and usually, it is he's already fucking her like a rabbit on steroids. Now let's go!"
"I know! Why you think I left?" I snapped as she pushed me out the door.
The ride to Bella's was filled with blurs of green and red. I don't know if it was the rage inside me or the hurt in my chest that kept me from my focus. Good thing Crystal is driving.
Stepping out of the trucking in a haze I noticed Crystal rounding the tail end of the truck. The corner of her lips turned up as I eyed the small Mt. Dew bottle in her hand. Shaking my head, I asked. "How the hell is it you always have that with you?"
She smirked. "Don't worry about my stash, just drink. Pretty sure you're gonna need it. S'not a lot but it will help."
She handed me the small bottle, unscrewing it I slammed the remainder down my throat. The pain in my chest was pacified by the burn of the shine; a smile formed along my lips. Crystal met my smile with one of her own. "Better." I nodded. "Good let's go get your girl."
As we entered through the elevator doors to her flat; I noticed that the door to the apartment was left open and Bella's moans could be heard. I looked over at Crystal who shrugged and whispered "Told you so!"
She pushed me through the entrance and continued to give me small pushes of encouragement. Bella's I love you could be heard as we turned the corner to our room. I was assaulted with the sight of her collapsing on Jake's bare chest; my heart plummeted to the floor and I saw red. I walk a few steps and picked up a vase that sat on her dresser. I quietly snatched it up as they were still in the hazes of their bliss and slug it across the room to make sure I had their full, undying attention.
I watched as Bella scurried off of Jake grabbing the sheet to cover herself; once wrapped around her she made her way toward where I stood.
"Nash." As she spoke my name it burned my chest.
I stood taller, pulled my hat lower where she couldn't see my eyes, and buried my hand with in the pockets of my jeans.
Bella must have noticed the anger that I carried because she stopped a few feet shy of where I stood. I watched her under the rim of my hat and I could tell that Black must have had a change of heart and decided that now was a good time to keep his pants on. Sumbitch.
I looked down at my boots a smirk played across my lips and I began the countdown to a country ass whooping. "One….Two…" I could see the confusion written along their faces. A mere whisper could be heard from Crystal through the dead silence. "Oh Shit." I smiled bigger and brighter as "Three..." rolled of my tongue.
I tackled that rat bastard the moment the word left my lips; my sole intention was to hurt him. I wanted to snap him in half, to make him hurt the way I was hurting right now. I wanted him to swim in pain, or maybe curl into a ball and squeal like a little girl. I'd never hated this guy's guts more than I do now. I punched him in the jaw, and didn't stop. His head lulled from side to side as I unleashed my fists, and man, I couldn't be happier. A crack gripped my ears, and I almost stopped. I wasn't sure what it was; maybe it was his bones breaking, maybe it was the bed, I didn't know. I don't care. The only thing that mattered was beating his ass. He'd get a good ole southern style ass whoopin'.
Bella screamed for me to stop; there was panic and fear in her voice, but I ignored her. I'd deal with her when I was finished with this idiot. I punched him again and again, maybe I shouldn't have gotten so much joy out of fightin' a bastard that don't fight back, but just when my conscience was kickin' in, the idiot kneed me in the damn groin.
Aw shit.
Raw, smoldering pain ignited in my stomach, and let him go. Before I could defend myself he kicked me off, and I crashed into the damn bedside table. The glass lamp Bella put a top it jiggled noisily, then the idiot kicked my knees-my legs gave out, and I crashed right into the glass.
I hated this guy's guts.
The lamp kissed me-I didn't even know it was interested, and I caught myself before I dropped to the ground. The lamp wasn't so lucky. Clangg! The glass shattered, scattering into millions of pieces. But I didn't care. Instead of the lamp, it should be this jackass decorating the floor.
I had to try harder.
That boy was on me fast though, and he snarled like some kind of angry beast. He decked me in the face a good few times, but I didn't take it. I punched him hard and he backed off. But I wasn't going to. I wanted to kill him. I jumped up as he staggered back, and, again, that damn woman was screaming-at us both this time, but I ignored her.
Blood trickled from that bastard's busted lip, and I felt something warm running down my face too.Huh. Guess I was bleedin'. I wiped my face, and red stained my jacket.
Yeap. I was bleedin'.
"I told ya' to n'ver fuckin' touch 'nother man's 'oman!"
The freakin' bastard grinned, his bloody lips gleaming wickedly. "You left her. You pretty much gave up your right on her." He said smug, like he was proud of himself.
Bella and Crystal gasped so loud, I was surprised all of Seattle didn't hear 'em.
"Fuckin' Bastard!" Crystal screamed, clenching her fists. She pushed Bella behind her, "Nash!" She yelled, and pointed to the little boy, "Kill 'em! Break his damn legs!"
I don't know why, but I actually listened. I leaped across the room and wrapped my hands tight around his neck, and I hoisted him high in the air. His legs dangled, and I squeezed his thick neck until I knew my fingers were diggin' into his flesh. I don't think I've ever remembered getting this pissed.
And the sad part was it was about a girl.
My hands slackened around his neck as it hit me, and he gasped. He kneed me in the stomach hard-I let him go-and he sucker punched me in the face.
I doubled over in pain.
"Jackass!" He exclaimed, breathing hard like me. "I had her first! I hit home base way before you did, that girl's always gonna have a soft spot for me!" he admitted, and for some reason the room was eerily quiet now. "Besides, it's your fault. If you didn't want me to fuck her, you shouldn't have left."
Slapppp! I stood straight. That damn bastard was holding his jaw, he'd just been bitchslapped. Slowly, I brought my hand to my face; I couldn't feel a sting at all. Wait...did I do that?
I looked around and noticed the shocked look that was mixed with tears written across Bella's face. Oh, hell she slapped him.
Bella POV:
I can't believe I just slapped him but his words hurt me. What Jake said made me sound so cheap and dirty.
I couldn't breathe, my throat was constricting. My heart was smashing so hard against my chest that it felt as if someone was slicing right through. Why the hell is it so hot? My palms were sweating, my knees buckled under my weight as I crumbled to the floor in a broken mess. My body trembled as loud sobs escaped my lips, and I barely heard the voices echoing throughout the room. I could see panic written all over their faces.
Jake knelt down in front of me and caressed my cheek with a large hand. "Bells I'm sorry."
I shuffled, trying to get away from his touch, trying to breathe in the process, which was becoming unbearably hard to do. I caught Nash's eyes and just like always he read me. He rushed over dropping to his knees, slid along the hard wood floor, and caught me in his arms.
"Fuck, Crystal go get a lunch bag from the second drawer beside the fridge, also above the coffee pot there's a medicine bottle, bring it too. NOW!" He yelled in sheer panic.
The sound of feet shuffling throughout the apartment rings out, I thought I heard glass shattering in the kitchen; Nash pulled me into his chest caressing my shoulder.
"I'm here baby." He said in a soothing voice, "I'm right here I got you" as he runs his hand through my hair, pushing it out of my face.
Jake cleared his throat before speaking. "What's wrong with her?" his voice was barely audible.
"What's wrong with her?" his hands pulled me closer in a protective manner. "She having a fucking panic attack you jackass! That's what."
Crystal stumbled through the bedroom door almost landing on Nash and I. "Here is the bag." She handed it to me; I placed it up to my mouth trying to slow my breathing down. "Here's her drugs and oh a bottle of water." She held it out for me but Nash took it from her, unscrewed the lid, and set it on the floor as he began to open the pill bottle.
"Here babe, take this." He said holding the pill up to my mouth after removing my bag. I opened my mouth, took a swig of the water, and swallowed. I placed the bag back over my mouth trying to focus on my breathing.
After about fifteen minutes of continuous breathing, my heart started to slow down and I was feeling somewhat normal. I removed myself from Nash's embrace and got up making sure that the sheet was still in tack around my body and made my way to the bathroom.
Once inside the bathroom I propped my hands against the sink holding my weight as I looked at the stranger in the mirror. It's just freaking crazy how much can change within twenty-four hours.
Pushing myself closer to the mirror, I studied the dark circles under my eyes and the bright pink rims, which revealed my blood-shot eyes. Taking a deep breath trying to keep my shit together, I grabbed a rag from the holder and placed it in the sink, running cold water over it. I splashed my face with the water before wringing the rag out and placing it over my face; I took a few minutes to compose myself. Throwing the rag in the sink, my temper began to rage once again. I was pissed. How dare he make me sound so damn slutty!Shaking my head, giggles escaped my lips. That's Lizzie, she's the slut.
I turned and walked into the closet that was connected to the bathroom; I just remembered that I needed some freaking clothes. Laughing once again, I know they probably think I'm off my rocker in here. I grabbed a pair of short white shorts, a navy blue pull over sleeveless shirt, grabbed a black bra, and decided against panties while picking up my brown sandals.
Decided that I needed to take a shower to wash off the nastiness that I felt, love shouldn't feel like this. Shaking the thoughts from my head I turned on the hot water with just a touch of cold; dropping the sheet, I stepped in and enjoyed the burn of the water.
After about thirty minutes and no hot water later, I decided I needed to get out of here. I quickly dressed, applied my make-up and then slipping on my sandals, and noticed that my purse was tucked inside the closet. I knelt down pulling it closer to me and grabbed what I was looking for. BINGO I quickly sent Crystal a text.
ME: Hey, are they still here?
Cry: Yep, you plan on coming out anytime this year. ;-)
Me: Damn it!
Cry: What is it?
Me: Umm, I think I need to get away; it's just too much here. Shit can you come in here?
As I waited for her to text me back, there was a knock on the bathroom door. I jumped.
"It's me baby girl. Let me in they're in the living room." Thank goodness it was her.
I yanked the door open, grabbed her shirt, pulled her in, and locked the door back. She stumbled over the rug in front of the sink. "Oomph damn don't kill the messenger shit!"
"I'm sorry." I said embarrassed.
"S'ok, so what's up? Why are you leaving?" she asked offended.
"Come with?" I asked.
Shaking her head, "I'm not sure, what about the apartment, the bakery, not to mention those two men in the living room. I mean if looks could kill they would both be dead."
"Yea, well they are both going kill me. I mean you see this shit; I went to bed with one and pretty much woke up with another. It's shit like that that gets someone killed. I mean two murders almost happened here already along with one dead due to heart failure. I thought that shit only happened in movies, not in my life." I didn't even realize that I had been pacing the length of the closet. "I think I need to get away, ya know find myself without Jake or Nash, just Bella. After that shit I witnessed this morning there is no man worth my life, cause that shit could have gone bad real fast. I thought Nash was going to kill him. Not to mention that stunt that Jacob was displaying with his damn ego. Don't get me wrong I love them; both of them. But Crystal how can anything-good come out of this if I love them both huh? I need to leave here, get away find myself and see which one I can't live without. Am I making any sense to you? "
"Yea, you really are. I get it, I really do. I love you chick, but you have to tell them that. I will stay here and run the bakery and look after everything, that way you don't have to worry about that." She walked up to me wrapping her arms around my neck and I placed my head on her shoulder. "I just want you to be happy Bella. I know that you love them; you don't have to defend yourself to me. I just don't want you to lose yourself Bella. I mean you are a spit fire, if I didn't know any better I would say you were from the south. I have never been a fan of Jake, you know that, but I know he loves you as well as Nash. You have two great guys in there, hell I can't even find one." We both giggle before she continued. "I really think this is a good idea cause there has always been some guy in your life. First, there was Jake; well there has always been Jake. But after him there was Edward, then Jake again then Nash then Jake again you see my point." Nodding my head, she continued "Well I know what you are capable of but when around Jake you hold back your spit fire a little bit and I don't like it. If you are with some guy, you need to be 100% yourself, no reason to hide that part of yourself from them. Just promise me one thing kay?"
"Anything you know that."
"Don't get involved with anyone one else until you find yourself and please find your damn balls again. I remember the first time you met Nash; that took balls and confidence. I miss that about you, I just didn't want to say anything."
Pulling away from her and looking into her eyes, "You could tell that I changed?"
Nodding she said. "Yea I noticed it when I first got here, but didn't saying anything."
"Why not?"
Laughing "Would you have listened?"
Shrugging my shoulders I said with a smile "probably not."
"See" she said proudly.
Walking to the other end of the closet grabbing my suit cases thinking this is déjà vu all over again. I started packing my clothes, making sure, I had enough, and everything I might need from my bathroom.
I turned to where Crystal sat in the floor and said "You really do know me better than I know myself?"
Looking up from her phone she said "yep."
"Who are you talking to?" I asked pulling the suitcase up from the back of the closet.
"Nash. I think he is going crazy in there with Jake. I am trying to keep him calm; he is really worried about you."
"I know. I am thankful he was here this morning cause you and Jake had no idea what was going on."
"Yea what was up with that? I mean I never knew you had them."
"Well, Nash is about the only person I've told. It's kind of embarrassing I don't want ya'll to think I am some unstable crazy person."
"That is nothing to be embarrassed about that some serious shit. How often does it happen?"
Shrugging "It's nothing really, just when I am stressed or when crazy shit like this morning happens. They gave me Xanax to take, said it would help with anxiety, but you know how I feel about doctors. They're just fucking nuts."
"Girl don't take that shit my Aunt Deb got addicted. That shit is no joke; she spends her life sleeping or trying to figure out what day it is, she fucking nuts."
"I'm gonna miss you!" I confessed. I really would miss her; she was my best friend. I considered her more of a friend than the boys. I mean, they were just complicated, with her, it was just pure friendship, and no bonus features if you get what I'm saying.
Standing up, she gave me a soft hug, pulled away, and said "I'm really going to miss you too."
"Thank you for everything! You are a great friend."
Popping her shirt, she giggled "I know, I am pretty great."
"Geez don't let it go to your head you still have a bakery to run."
She snorted "Don't worry I got this."
"I know you do." Looking at the bathroom door, I dreaded having to go out there to face them. Out of everything I think I have done in my life, this was going to be one of the hardest. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I looked back at Crystal. "Guess it's time I go tell them what I am doing huh?"
Nodding her head she unlocked the bathroom door.
As I walked down the hall towards the living room it felt as if I was walking to the gallows for slaughter. I have no idea where I am going to go from here. I just hope they will understand my need for leaving. I love them both, just differently. Nash was a great, easy going down to earth guy with a heart of gold. Jake on the other hand was complicated. I think the best way to describe it is when we are good we are great. Almost like we're bad for each other, but we ain't good for anyone else. Something about him just pulls me in like a rip tide, just when I think I am out far enough I am sucked in stronger then the last. It was like a vicious cycle that keeps repeating itself, it was a cycle that would never end.
…Unless I took a stand.
I took a long deep breath as I reached the living room, and paused like a statue in the entranceway. My hands were shaking at my sides, and I chewed my lip as if it was my next meal. "Ahem," I cleared my throat, and felt like melting right through the floor when two pairs of eyes swiveled to me.
They both quietly looked at me, neither knowing what to do, or what to say. Well, neither did I, but someone had to start this conversation.
"Bella," Jake whispered my name softly, cutting me off from whatever I was going to say. Tentatively, he starts to come closer.
"Don't." I grit out, stopping him in his tracks. "Don't come any closer."
His eyes grew dark as he shoved his hands deep with in his pockets. Damn he is sexy.
He spoke bringing me out of my thoughts, "Bells I am sorry. I shouldn't have said those things."
I sighed needing to stay focused, so I giggle trying to cover up the turmoil that was going on inside. "Yea, well you are getting pretty good at apologizing, maybe you should take it up as a career if music doesn't work for you." I smiled to myself spit fire. "It is getting rather old Jake. I don't blame you for what happened here this morning; if I want to blame someone I need to look in the mirror." He stood there with wide eyes, fully shocked from the cold reaction that I had given him. But hey I'm still pissed. As he continued to stand there clearly still trying to recover, I gave him the fakest smile I could and brushed passed him plopping down in the wing chair. I laughed at the scene that was in front of me: there they sat on the couch at opposite ends as far as they could get from one another; looking like two kids that were fixing to be scolded by their parents.
I straightened up, crossed my legs, and placed my hands on my knee as their intense gaze landed on me. Wow, this is nice. I felt confidence settle in my spine and I saw Crystal smile. "Look boys this is how it's going to be."
"Bella" said Nash as he rose up pulling his rear to the edge of the sofa.
I held up one finger before placing it back on my knee. "I'm just going to be upfront with the both of ya'll, I'm leaving here this afternoon." I could hear as they both sucked in a ragged breath, shock was written all over there face. Yea they clearly didn't see this coming.
"Bells what the fuck? What the hell do you mean that you're leaving?" Jake said as he stood up.
"You need to sit down and shut up. I'm only going to say this once." I said aggravated. This boy was clearly still pushing my buttons.
Jake snapped his mouth shut, looking as if he still wanted to argue with me before returning to his prior position.
Nash was glancing between the two of us, amused.
"Like I was saying, I am leaving. Crystal is going to stay here and run the bakery. I want you both to know that I love both you, that's no lie. You're both great guys, any girl should be lucky to have either one of you. I don't want neither one of you to wait around here for me, I need to remove myself from this situation. After what I saw this morning shit could have went wrong fast. Nash, I have never seen you so mad, both of you could have killed each other. Honestly, that shit was scary; I want no part of that. I don't think ya'll know how close we were to becoming breaking news on FOX. I need to remove myself from this situation pronto; there has always been some guy in my life since I was a kid." I said glancing towards Jake and he nodded his head in understanding. "I need to find out who I am, alone not just someone else's girl. I know this is going to hurt, but it has to be done. If it continues the way, it's going, someone might just lose their life, and that is so not worth it. Now don't get me wrong, if it came down to it I would give my life for either of you, but I will not stand for you two trying to kill each other for me. I am not some damn prize that you can just win at the county fair. So that is why all this has to end today, I'm done with the both of you. I wish the both of you happiness; I don't know what the future holds but please take care of yourselves."
I stood, and pulled my shorts down trying hard not to make eye contact with either of them because I knew that I might weaken under there gaze. I walked to where Crystal stood propped against the wall, and pulled her in a tight embrace and said, "Take care; if you need anything call me."
She nodded and squeezed one last time before pulling away. "Same goes for you."
I kissed her on the cheek, knelt down picked up my purse and grabbed the handles to my suitcases and headed towards the door. As I reached the door to my apartment a warm hand gripped hold of my wrist forcing me to face them; there stood Jake. He placed one hand to my cheek slowing rubbing his knuckles along my face.
"Bella, please come back to me." He said as he slipped a sticky note in the palm of my hand. Looking into his eyes my stomach flared into a ball of butterflies, his eyes were dark and hollow.
Swallowing the lump that was collecting in my throat, I spoke confidently trying not to let my voice break. "Jake you are my best friend, you always will be, but I can't make promises that I can't keep. Goodbye Jacob."
I smiled one last time to the boy that could bring me to my knees with just with one look, and exited the building.
I heard that New York was nice this time of year.
A/N: I hope that you all are not to mad at me. Please let me know what you think of this chapter. I know this is probably not what you were expecting but have some faith in me. I will try not to let anyone down; I also wanted to let you know there will be a time skip between now and the next chapter. I am thankful for all the reviews ya'll are truly a great audience and to the newbies welcome.-PinkAnnaBanana
