"Can't we just stay in the house and talk?" I begged.
As I was finishing that sentence, I let out a dramatic yawn in an effort to show him how exhausted I was.
"Let's just talk tomorrow, Ash. It's so late, and I haven't even showered yet. Also, I don't think I should be leaving Mewtwo inside the house by himself . . . hey, are you even listening to me?"
Clearly ignoring me, Ash whipped out a Pokéball and released his Charizard, who also yawned as he stretched his wings.
I was beginning to grow frustrated; I sat down on the ground, trying my hardest to persuade him as I said, "Let's talk right here. This is far enough from the house, right?"
"Lilly, are you crazy? Mewtwo's only twenty feet away, I'm sure he can hear us right now!"
"I'm just not so sure that he's going to . . . behave while I'm gone," I admitted.
Ash's eyes rolled back so far into his head that I thought they were going to detach from his retinas.
"He's a Pokémon, not a baby; he'll be fine for a few minutes. Besides, Pikachu's with him," he insisted.
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"
"Did it not work?"
"Ash, what Pikachu going to do if Mewtwo wants to destroy my Aunt's house as revenge for being captured? Nuzzle him until he's paralyzed?" I asked as I stood up and let out my Fearow from its Pokéball.
"Mewtwo can't even protect himself right now if someone were to walk in, and he definitely can't rearrange your house; you've seen for yourself how helpless he is right now. And besides, he knows doing anything to hurt you will upset me now."
I sighed and pressed my fingers to my temples, then took a deep breath.
"Alright, fine Ash," I said as I exhaled.
I hesitantly got on Fearow's back, and he followed Ash's Charizard as they set off due northeast.
"Where are we even going?!" I shouted over the wind.
"We're going to Celadon! Even if he could, Mewtwo definitely isn't going to follow us there." Ash shouted back.
"Wait, why Celadon?"
"Because of the Rocket Hideout in the Game Corner!"
"Ash, they evacuated that building a long time ago!"
"Oh right, I forgot . . . Charizard! Head to Isle Four!"
"Chari!"
"Yeah, yeah!"
Charizard veered to the right, and Fearow followed close behind. After about half an hour of flying we finally landed on the beach of Isle Four, home to the Team Rocket Headquarters; there are probably still some Rockets there today.
"Good thinking," I said breathlessly.
"Yeah, I know," Ash said, putting his hands on his hips.
We left our Pokémon to enjoy the sand and started walking along the beach, listening to the waves lapping against the shore. The effect it had on me was almost immediate; I did not realize that my heart had been pounding as if we were still in the cave.
"So . . . long day, huh?" Ash said finally, sticking his hands in his pockets.
"You have no idea," I mumbled sleepily, stumbling along the sand, "we went through . . . a lot."
"I'm just amazed that you caught Mewtwo. How did you pull it off?" he asked, sticking his hands in the pockets of his jacket.
"Well, it wasn't easy," I grunted, "It took me forever to find Arceus—"
"Wait, you had to find Arceus? Metwo really took out all of your Pokémon?" Ash asked, dumbfounded.
" . . . Yeah."
"I mean I know how powerful he is, but I didn't think things would go that far," Ash murmured.
"I still didn't even find Arceus, he just came out himself," I admitted.
"Well it's a good think that he did, right?"
"Yeah, Mewtwo really would have killed all of us if Arceus didn't make an appearance."
"I'm so sorry that happened, I should have been there to calm him down," Ash said, looking toward the ground.
I shook my head vigorously before responding with, "No, don't be sorry. He was like that because it was the only place where he felt safe, he told me himself."
"He said that to you?" Ash asked, mildly surprised.
"Yeah. You did the right thing by not coming along, it would have only made things worse," I laughed a little bit.
I plopped down on the sand and fell on my back, not really caring about the grit that would get in my hair. Ash laid down beside me and we gazed at the stars together in silence.
"I just . . . I can't believe he nearly killed them all," I whispered after a moment, "I've never been in a fight that bad before."
"Don't feel bad. Nobody could be prepared to fight a Pokémon like that," Ash said quickly.
"But . . . I should have been. You had told me what to expect. And my team is so powerful, so in sync with each other, and he just . . . he practically ran circles around them. How can a Pokémon be that strong?"
"He was literally engineered to be the strongest Pokémon in the world," Ash chuckled.
"I know, I just . . . I can't wrap my head around it."
"I remember feeling the same way when I first faced him. He's too strong for his own good."
"Right, but recently he was practically beaten to death by Team Rocket!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands in the air and letting them drop on the ground again, "How were they able to do that when my team could barely lay a finger on him? What kinds of things do you think Team Rocket did to him?"
"For someone who doesn't like this Pokémon, you seem to really be interested in him already," Ash remarked casually.
"I'm not," I said quickly, flicking some sand his way, "I just want to know what happened. He was so weak today and yet he was able to take out my Pokémon; how did a healthy Mewtwo get caught off guard enough for Team Rocket to do that much damage to him?"
I heard Ash shrug in the sand, then he said, "Guess you'll just have to ask him that, won't you?"
"I'm not going to ask him anything else," I said stubbornly, "because I don't have to talk to him again after this evening."
Ash bit his lip, and neither of us spoke for the moment. I could tell he was going to say something else, but he also knew I'd probably yell at him for it.
"Lilly," he started, his tone cautious, "I know exactly how dangerous he can be. I kind of had the same experience the first time I met him . . . well, you already know that story. But I really think it would be a good for the both of you if you took him in."
I snorted, "The both of us? Why, so he can try to kill my Pokémon again?"
"Uh . . . no . . . I was just thinking . . . hey, wait a minute!"
He sat up, "Didn't you tell me one time that Arceus said that you should have some kind of bodyguard during its healing process?"
"My Pokémon already protect me from all kinds of danger. They're perfectly capable of filling that role," I said, unsure of where he was going with this.
"Yeah, but what if you had a really powerful one that just stayed by your side—"
"Wait, wait, wait . . ."
I stared at him in disbelief for a moment, having finally put two and two together.
"Are you saying that Mewtwo should act as a guardian to me?!" I practically shouted.
"Jeez Lilly, I'm right next to you!" he said, covering his ears jokingly.
"Well apparently you can't hear yourself; even you would never suggest something that stupid," I retorted.
"Actually, that's exactly what I'm suggesting. Nobody can hate you, Lilly. It's only a matter of time before he comes to really trust you, and . . ." Ash paused for a moment, "maybe he'll even—"
"Do you still not hear yourself right now? I don't even know him, Ash!" I whispered loudly.
"Well—"
"What makes you think he'll want to stay with a little girl he can't even take seriously? He probably thinks that I just sit around and play with dolls, paint my nails, or watch makeup tutorials—"
"He just needs some—"
"And if that isn't reason enough," I interrupted yet again, "I definitely don't trust him enough to tell him a single thing about Arceus! He already tried asking me about him earlier, as if he deserves any kind of information from me after how he acted!"
"Trust is a thing that forms over time, it doesn't just happen when you first meet somebody," Ash argued.
"Well I certainly would not be expecting somebody who is going to be my guardian to try to kill me and my Pokémon the first day I meet them!" I snapped back.
"I think you just need to give him a chance—"
"And I don't even need one Guardian! I'm capable of taking care of myself; as I've been doing for the past three years, thank you very much!"
"Lilly, you've never taken care of yourself," Ash sighed.
I stopped talking and shot him a look, then asked, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Your Pokémon have always taken care of you. When are you going to realize that you can't do everything on your own? Living with Arceus has never been a walk in the park for you, and you know it."
"I don't care, and I don't need help! I hate asking for it. Don't you see?"
I looked up at him, "Whenever I ask for help, someone gets hurt. When my Pokémon helped me today, they almost got killed!
"Lilly—"
"No, I'm done talking about it!" I said stubbornly, twisting around so that I was looking at the other side of the beach and away from Ash.
Ash heaved a big sigh behind me. He hesitated for a moment before he asked, "Do you know how many times my Pokémon and friends got hurt because of me?"
I didn't answer him.
"I've lost count, and I've only known them for a year. These things happen to everyone, Lilly. You're not alone on this," Ash said consolingly.
There was the sound of crunching as Ash laid down on the sand. I knew he was right; I just didn't want to admit it.
I turned a little bit back in his direction so that I could see him out of the corner of my eye.
"My parents are dead because of me," I said quietly, "I'm not sure why or how, but they got themselves killed all because of me."
"Lilly, you had no control over that. They must have loved you—"
"I know they loved me!" I shouted again, sitting up, "But you still don't get it, do you?"
I picked up my necklace and held it out so he could see it. Its colors were drawn out by the moonlight, and it emanated a soft glow. I wrapped my fingers tightly around it in my frustration.
"I have a . . . a thing living in this necklace that practically controls this universe, and I couldn't lift a finger to help my parents! I couldn't protect them! And even now I can't protect my Pokémon, or even myself."
I began to cry. Ash quickly sat up and put his arm around me comfortingly. I did not move for a moment, but eventually I gave in and let my head rest against his shoulder.
At that moment, I missed my parents more than ever. I knew they would not have had all the answers that I was looking for, but at least I would not have to be figuring this out all on my own.
After I had gotten my breathing back under control Ash finally spoke up.
"Lilly," he said quietly, "your Pokémon are there to help you through anything. They knew what they were getting themselves into; they needed to be with you today."
The light of the full moon sparkled off the waves. A large Krabby scuttled by, blowing bubbles. I fixed my gaze toward the ocean and saw a Magikarp leap out of the water and drop back in like a rock.
As my crying was reduced to occasional sniffling I said, "H-he told me that he couldn't love. Do you actually believe that?"
Ash turned to look at me, his mouth parting in surprise.
"Wait, he really admitted that to you? Already?"
"Why do you sound so surprised? You're the one who told me to ask about his defects—"
"Yeah, but I didn't actually think he would tell you anything!" he said, his excitement continuing to escalate.
"Then why did you tell me to ask in the first place? To make me look like an idiot?"
"It wasn't 'till I saw him at Mt. Quena that he told me he couldn't love. And he tells you an hour after you catch him? That's saying something."
"Well, not really, I asked him," I insisted.
"He wouldn't have told you if he didn't trust you. He must know what kind of person you are!" Ash sounded excited.
"Or maybe this is a sign that he doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut," I muttered under my breath.
"Trust me," Ash sighed knowingly, "he does."
I didn't respond right away; I just stretched my arms and rubbed some of the sand off my toes. Ash stopped talking, realizing that I was thinking the situation over. We sat there, listening to the waves some more. A few minutes later, I sighed and got off the sand.
"Well," I said as I stretched my arms to the sky, "I guess I'll have to learn to control my thoughts, won't I?"
Ash looked relieved when he said, "Thanks. You won't regret it."
I smiled and extended my hand to help him up off the sand.
"I'm sure I will."
