Fear…
It's everywhere
Rooted in the mind,
Felt in the heart,
But shown in the eyes
My breath caught in my throat. This was the first time I'd set eyes on Severus Snape in over five years and boy was it a terrifying experience.
I know that sounds stupid – he's in a secure ward and can't do me any harm – and I know that I'm a very powerful witch and not the little girl I used to be but this guy was cruel and humiliated me, Harry and Ron in the six years that he was our teacher. I always tried to remain unbiased when it came to the almost weekly debates about whether Snape had really reformed. I scolded and would not believe Harry and Ron's insistent mistrust of him.
And then he murdered Dumbledore and betrayed us all.
Deep-rooted, from then on, was a hatred I had never known. I hid it well but would not have been reproved by anyone if I had openly shown it, which Harry, Ron and many others in the Order did without a second thought.
I believed Severus Snape was truly an evil man.
Bu then something remarkable happed. Ron and I were about to be killed by Greyback and wham! Snape hits him with a killing curse without even blinking an eyelid! And so it seems like Snape is actually one of the good guys and then boom! He kills Rufus Scrimgeour right in front our eyes!
Talk about messed up!
I felt Harry move away from me and followed him towards the chair Snape was sat in.
Ron trailed behind me. I could feel the tension in the room rise. A knife was certainly in order.
Snape didn't look at us as we conjured chairs to sit on; he just remained in the same position he'd been in when we'd first come in.
Now that I was closer, I could see his features more clearly. He wore a white jumpsuit and soft shoes. Around his neck was…well…I can only describe it as a collar of some sort, bearing his name, patient number (1977) and who his nurse was. His skin was sallow and stretched, his hair as greasy as it was at Hogwarts. But his eyes. They were dead eyes. Not even traces of the haunting things he had seen and done flittered behind them.
You know who he reminded of?
Sirius – the first time we set eyes on him and thought him a traitorous murderer.
Determined to keep my focus, I shook my head to clear my mind of past events. Here and now was the only important thing at the moment.
The nurse who had smiled at us earlier now said, "Severus, you have guests. Why don't you say hello?"
Snape merely blinked.
"Severus? Did you hear me? I said that you have guests. Don't you think it would be nice of you to say hello?" she tried again.
There was still no response.
Oh brilliant.
If this turns out to be a complete waste of time, (and I'm starting to think it will be) I am going to be mightly hacked off!
I mean, I have smacked my head, been told by Harry that I'm in love with Ron, seemingly professed said love for Ron and then had to get rather close to Ron's crotch after scalding him-
Wait…Was that last part bad…?
What am I SAYING?!
Of course it's bad!!
Very very bad!
What is wrong with me?!
I will not like Ron…I will not like Ron…
Remember how much he's screwed you over?! He told you he loved you then ditched you again!
You will not like Ron…You will not like Ron…
"I'm sorry," the nurse said, interrupting my rather nutty argument with myself.
I swear I should be put in a mental ward too.
"I don't know how much you'll get out of him, if anything."
Like we hadn't figured that out already! I'd roll my eyes if I didn't think she'd notice.
Harry nodded.
"I'm aware of the unlikelihood of finding out what I need to but I'm in no hurry to leave."
The nurse nodded her understanding then went to tend to one of the patients who had just began to babble in a high pitched, almost banshee-like wail.
It was a really creepy noise, almost supernatural. It actually reminded me of the noise Katie Bell made when she touched that cursed necklace all the way back in sixth year.
I sighed.
So much has changed in what feels like no time at all.
And I'm not sure if it's all been for the better.
There was a time when everything was so much simpler and so much less…hard.
Ok I know I just said exactly the same thing with two different words, but do you see me caring?!
And, yes, ok, stuff hasn't ever really been simpler for me.
I mean, yeah, I guess it was, when I was like…two. But, it's never been easy. Not really. Not for me and Harry and Ron.
Even in first year we were fighting the dark arts! How screwed up is that?!
And completely unfair I might add!
But it still wasn't that dark.
Not compared to everything else we've faced.
And even though that danger's pretty much gone there's so much stuff now that feels just as dangerous.
Like having to make your own way in the world.
Protecting those you love.
Realising who it is that you are in love with…
I suddenly realised Harry was talking to Ron and, with a massive effort, I tuned myself back in.
"…And I want to do all the talking. I know exactly what we need and I don't want him to get confused. Not that I care about his welfare – I'm more worried about him completely clamming up."
Resisting the urge to comment on Harry deciding to become boss, I nodded, as did Ron. The mature side of me knew that, although it sounded harsh and it wasn't like Ron and I weren't capable of interviewing Snape ourselves, our mission was of such great importance that some things you just had to overlook and Harry wasn't actually trying to be rude; he just wanted to get what we needed.
It's not like I could protest of the 'unfairness' of not being able to talk to Snape – that would just be childish. Plus, I don't think I really want to talk to him anyways.
Harry gave us a small smile then turned back to Snape.
"Hello, Snape."
