CHAPTER EIGHT
Leah's Pov
"Mmm.", I opened my eyes and let the sunshine of the early morning warm my face. I felt great. I was actually smiling, which says a lot; I am NOT a morning person. I automatically looked towards the open window – the soft breeze was ushering in the smells of yesterday's rain and the forest. I stretched my limbs and there was an ache in my arms, completely catching my off guard. It was like my body had been put through a washing machine. What the?? That's when it hit me. Sudden realization flooded over me. The dance. Jacob. Confessions. Touching. Kissing. OH MY GOD.
My heart rate soared and I jerked up, ignoring the hell my body gave me for it. My eyes searched the room, but my alpha-slash-friend-turned-lover was no where to be found. The only evidence of our… encounter…was my clothing spouted across the room. I didn't know what to think, actually, I couldn't think. My emotions sat up in the confines of my chest daring me to let the one thought I dreaded the most cross my mind.
I. Seduced. Jacob Black. And then. He. Ran. Away.
There it was.
He was probably running his furry ass to Canada or something by now, or getting as far away from me as he possibly could. I basically threw myself at him!
First came the embarrassment, but me being me, the anger was right behind. Just who did Jacob Black think he was?! Being with me in the most intimate way, a way that only one other person has been with me, and then bolting once it was over? How incredibly classy of him.
I shook my head. Yeah, Leah. Your just the epitome of class right now – sitting here all wrapped up in your bed sheets after romping around with your brother's best friend!
I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself!, I groaned into the sheets. What am I suppose to tell the rest of the pack? I can just see it now.
Hey Leah, where's Jacob?
Oh, I don't know probably hiding in a hole after what we did last night.
God Leah do you have to scare all of our alphas away?!
My mock conversation with the pack was interrupted by a racket coming from the kitchen – the unmistakable sound of pans clattering to the floor.
I jumped out of bed, grabbed whatever clothing I could and threw it all on.
Underwear, shirt… um, where are my shorts?
Again, my eyes darted all over the bright room, finally resting on my pajama bottoms… hanging from the ceiling fan. "Ughhh", I groaned, yanked them down, and left the room.
Jacob's POV
I dropped the pots and pans and instantly began grumbling curse words under my breath. I was shaking with nerves, half in utter excitement and half in fear of the awkwardness of "the morning after". It was really throwing all my werewolf poise out of whack. All I could think about was Leah. Her perfect body pressed against mine, the way her mouth tasted, the sounds she made…
I leaned down to pick the stupid griddle up, when I head soft footfalls behind me.
I turned around to see a very shy-looking Leah, leaning against the kitchen threshold crossing her arms and her ankles. She had so many emotions running across her face – but none of them seemed to match mine.
"So much for breakfast in bed…" I muttered. She finally looked up at me, biting her lip and keeping her same pose.
"Jake I – uh, we need to talk."
I don't know what I expected, but I was REALLY hoping we could skip the talking part. I nodded my compliance and held my arm out, signaling for her to sit down at the table. She moved, and I followed her, sitting in front of her for a face-to-face.
After some awkward shuffling and two tries at starting the conversation (at the same time), I laughed.
"You go first." I didn't like how uncomfortable she was acting. I hoped she didn't think yesterday was a mistake.
"Jacob, what happened yesterday was…"
"Was what?"
She furrowed her eyebrows and gave me a frustrated look.
"I thought you said I could go first?"
I pretended to zip my lips and threw the imaginary key behind my shoulder. She shook her head and continued on.
"I'm sorry. What I did was… unacceptable. I should have never put you in a position like that. I was just – I don't know what came over me! I totally get if you wanna run the hell away from me and never look back but - "
I stopped listening and just stared at her half in confusion and half in astonishment. Confusion because I had no idea what she was talking about and astonishment because Leah Clearwater was apologizing . After those initial shock, it turned to amusement.
Much to her displeasure, I started laughing. I couldn't help it. She really honestly believed that she had forced me into what happened yesterday!
CRACKK! Before I knew what had happened, I felt the whole left side of my face tingle with pain and I moved my hands up to my cheek. Leah was scowling her legendary scowl, and holding one of the pans from earlier – looking like I had just ran over her puppy or something.
"You are such a frickin' immature, annoying little mutt! I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you and you LAUGH at me?!"
She was rearing her arm back, preparing to take another swipe at me, but luckily I had enough good sense to get the heck outta her way.
"Lee, calm down!" SWWOOOSHH! She took another swing at my face. I was still biting back laughs – like the idiot I am – as she came after me repeatedly, dodging behind chairs to keep our distance. She looked like a angry little kitten chasing me around like that, but I knew behind her small frame, she packed the power of a mad ass lioness.
"Lee! Please please please just listen! I wasn't laughing at you, I mean, yeah I was but - " Wa-SHHHH The iron clad pan she was tossing around was now sailing through the air with unnamed speed right at my face. It smacked into my forehead with enough force to make me stumble backwards and trip over the leg of the kitchen table, landing hard on my backside. "Owww?"
I heard Leah swear, and then rush over to me, kneeling down at my side. "Jake! My bad, You okay? It… um slipped? Ugh, you know what? That's really what you get! Why should I apologize to your rude, arrogant - "
I did the only thing I knew would make her shut up. I kissed her.
All the passion and urgency from last night was still there. Reluctantly, she kissed me back.
I let her go and smirked as I watched her catch her breath and fall back onto her hands.
"Ya know, Lee, I could get used to that."
She rolled her eyes angrily and got off the floor.
Great. What'd I do now?
Before she could stomp off, I grabbed her arm and swung her back around. She looked hurt and it literally made my heart ache.
"Lee, I'm so sorry. I swear I am. I didn't mean to laugh at you earlier, you were just being ridiculous." She tensed and tried to pull back, but I just held her wrists tighter.
"No, please stay. Yesterday – I can't even put into words. I don't regret it, not any of it. What'd you think, I'd run away? Never. I know you felt the same things I felt yesterday. You didn't take advantage of me Lee." I chuckled and took a risk of rubbing my thumb across her cheek. Miraculously, she leaned into my touch.
"So where do we stand, Jacob? I just don't do…that… with random people. So what are we?"
I knew what I wanted us to be, but I also knew that Leah Clearwater didn't do relationships. There is nothing more in the world that I wanted right then and there other than to claim Leah as my girl. Whatever the cost, she had to be mine.
"I don't know, Lee. You know how I feel about you, its' obvious. The only thing standing in the way right now is you."
"Jake, how hard did I hit you in the head? You have to be suffering from brain damage. You don't want me, you want someone to ease the pain. I can't play your rebound just because your little girlfriend decided to go play happy family with the rest of those leeches!"
I recoiled and dropped my hold on her, unprepared for her to bring Bella into the conversation. I was mad, and my voice gave me away.
"This isn't about Bella and you know it! It's about YOU not willing to try for anything. It's about YOU being afraid. When did the almighty Ms. Clearwater turn into a coward huh?! I thought you were fearless."
"Don't you dare get all self-righteous on me! Do you know what you're saying right now? Have you forgotten who I am?! The bitter harpy, remember… you came up with that one!"
I regretted coming up with that nickname for her, and now she was using it against me. It wasn't fair, we weren't close then, and I never would have called her something like that had I known who she really was.
"Yes, Leah. I do know what I'm saying. All I'm asking, is for you to trust someone else with your heart for once. Jeez, Lee. We aren't all the same." My voice grew quieter.
"I would never hurt you, Leah."
The room was quiet for a while. She stood her ground, and I stood mine, staring each other down, looking for cracks in one another's resolve.
"Do you still love him?" This time, my voice came out hoarser than I wanted it too, and had hints of jealousy and resentment laced throughout it. My question must have taken her by surprise, because she drew back and her hazel eyes glistened with concealed tears.
"Of course not." I wanted to believe her, but I couldn't. If she didn't love him, then why was she pushing me away? I was determined to melt the ice surrounding her heart away, and fill it with the warmth that only I could. The warmth that was specifically mine.
"So why won't you let me in? Why won't you let yourself be happy? We have something here, with me."
Slowly, I closed the distance, and laced my fingers with hers. Bella wasn't an issue to me anymore; my heart didn't belong with her. It belonged right here, in front of me. The one I needed was right before my eyes, like she had always been.
"You just don't get it, Jake. What happens if we don't work out? You guys give me all this credit, about being strong and tough enough to handle anything. Well, I'm not. I'm broken, and I don't think I can handle it if, if…"
Her voice broke, and I pulled her against me, just holding her tightly. I saw what she was trying so hard all these years to hide. I saw a person who had been hurt too many times, and seen too many things. I saw a misunderstood soul who really was in pieces. I was willing to pick them up, all she had to do was let me.
"What if we do? I think it's worth the risk."
She pulled away.
"I'm not good enough for you Jacob Black. Don't you see that? You'd be better off with Olivia."
First Bella, now Olivia? Nothing's ever easy with her.
"Is that what you want, Leah? Do you want me to tell you you're a waste of time, and run to Olivia right now? Well it's not gunna happen! Let it go."
She didn't say anything, just set her jaw and stared straight past me.
"All I wanna know Jake, is why? Why me?"
I didn't think. What came out next was on its own accord.
"Because you're real. You don't care what people think, you're stronger than you give yourself credit for, and you're exciting. You would easily give your life for any person you love, and would kill trying to protect them. You're beautiful and funny, and when you smile my frickin' heart does back flips. You don't pretend to be someone you're not, Leah. I can always count on you to be the same hot-headed, pan-swinging wolfy-girl everyday and I wouldn't change it for the world. You're just you. You're what I need in my life."
We both stood in silence, absorbing my words. After what felt like a billion years, a smile played across her face and I let out a breath I wasn't aware I had been holding.
"Your heart does back flips for me, Black?"
She was teasing, but I didn't care. Again, I pulled her to me and lifted her off the ground, and squeezing her firmly.
"So does this mean I win?"
"What's the prize?"
"Leah Clearwater as my girlfriend?"
"Mmm… I guess. Well, what's my consolation prize?"
I put her on her feet and gave her a cheesy grin, then spun around in a showcase fashion.
"Alllll of this.
Feigning disappointment, she pouted her lips.
"Ugh, I guess I'll take it."
