"Why don't you drink with me anymore lad? We used to have so much fun laughing our hats off!"
"I've told you a dozen times, I...can't."
"You haven't told me a dozen times the reason though. Why do you not drink anymore?"
"I just can't." Soldier lowered his helmet to cover his eyes.
"This long break is bad for you. You're becoming a damn girl."
Soldier turned red.
""Oh I can't drink, oh I can't walk that far, oh my back hurts!" Damn sissy."
An angry puff of air whistled out of Solly's nose. He got up.
"That's it, I've had it!" He grabbed Demo's collar. "Look scot, I'm not a girl, you're hearing me? I'm just pregnant with the damn Admin's baby."
Demo struggled to swallow. "So you're not a girl huh."
Medic was outside with Engie and Pyro getting ready to enter the van.
"Ah Soldier, good timing, I was just going to call you."
Soldier looked tired and sullen.
"What's wrong, kicking?"
"Nah...cramps. Doc, look at me, I can't even walk right anymore."
Medic looked down. Soldier's legs were spread a little wider than usual.
"Oh, that's normal, it must have turned around so the head is facing down. Anyway, climb up, we're going shopping."
"Shopping?" Soldier looked confused.
"Yes, we need supplies and we'll have an extra soon, so we're going to the big street today."
The street was a mess of people. Young and old, all crossed the car-less pavement from shop to shop. By the time the team got there, the midday sun shone hot.
"Engie, you and Pyro go and shop ahead for food."
"Mmmph!"
"Right."
Off they went, leaving Soldier and Medic walking to opposite side of the commercial zone.
"Now, let's go to the tailor first. Come on!"
"Doc, slower, it's like I have a bowling ball between my legs!"
"Sssh! Don't speak about that out loud!"
"Oh yeah...I'm sure that will be everyone's first thought."
"You really need bigger clothes, Heavy's won't even fit you anymore!"
A bell rang as the door brushed past it, welcoming the duo in. A tailor with the most immaculate moustache lifted an eyebrow and then smiled.
"Ah, Doctor! Blessed eyes upon you!" He shook his hand then looked at the other man.
"Heavy! My, you've become shorter!"
Medic put his hand on Soldier's shoulder. "Ha ha ha, no, this is not Heavy. I mean, he is heavy, but not Heavy."
"Who is it then?"
"I'm Soldier." He declared.
"Soldier? You have been eating well so I see!"
"Yeah..."
"He needs some new clothes, I'm sure you can see why."
"Surely! I'll just get my gear. Feel free to browse."
Engineer and Pyro were choosing fruit in a relatively tranquil shop.
"Mmmph mmph mmmmph. Mmmph mmmph, mmph mmmmph?"
Engie stopped and looked at the orange like a crystal ball. "Uh...maybe a boy? I can't imagine Soldier raising anything else. What do you think?"
"Mmmph."
"Yeah, maybe."
"Mmmph mmph mmmph?"
"Oh I'm sure he'll let you hold him, or her."
Pyro made a happy sound.
"Now hold still, let me just put the pin." The Tailor was on his knees marking both the new trousers and shirt.
Solly was trembling, thinking to himself "Please don't kick, please don't kick, please don't kick.". It didn't, much to his relief.
"Are you sure you want to leave it this loose still?"
"Yes, I don't think he's getting any smaller soon. We are on a cease fire you see."
"Very well, I should have it done by 5pm."
"Good, we'll do some more shopping in the meantime. Right?"
Soldier was still looking at himself on the mirror, admiring his size. "Yeah...let's go."
Amid all those people, the men caught glace of eachother and reunited. Medic looked at the list.
"Next, is the pharmacy. Move along."
Not everyone felt comfortable in the clean white and green environment of the pharmacy.
"Powdered milk, antiseptic, rash cream, talco, ah, some extra soft cloth diapers too."
"Powdered?" Soldier enquired.
"Just in case."
"In case Scout prefers the house brand." Engie shuckled.
Engie looked at the counter. "Doc, you should buy more rash cream."
"I think we have plenty for the first months."
Engie blushed and spoke to his ear. "It's...for me, for when I sit in that hot dispenser for hours."
Medic laughed softly. "Oh, I...understand, alright."
Pyro came running with a book on his hands. "Mmmph mmph mmph?"
Medic took a glance. "Oh! Good call Pyro, this should come in handy!" The book was entitled "Maternity Now".
Soldier suddenly looked more nervous than before. "I don't think we need that..."
"Why not?"
"Er...I should trust my mater-I mean paternal instinct, right?"
"Yes, but it's a new experience and one should be prepared."
"I...don't want it."
"Why?"
Soldier scratched his head and looked down. "I...I...have trouble reading."
The rest of the team looked at each other with a "Oooh..." expression.
Engie grabbed Solly's arm. "Is that it? I can help you with that, don't worry."
Soldier looked up. "Really?"
"Mmmph mmph!" Pyro grabbed his other arm.
"Eh, I'm sure you will too mate." Engie smiled, looking at the masked manchild.
