Chapter 8

"Open the door, Swan!" Leah shouted.

Bella was lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling fan is spun around and around. It had been three days since she'd seen Jake and her whole world had come crashing down. Again.

Trying to ignore Leah was only making her headache worse. After several more threats of kicking the door in, she finally managed to get up and make her way to the door.

"What do you want, Leah?" she asked numbly.

Leah quickly assessed Bella when she opened the door. Her hair was matted and stringy and strangely smelly, like it hadn't seen a brush or a shampoo bottle in several days. Her skin looked even paler than normal, and sallow. Her eyes were red-rimmed and swollen, her cheeks blotchy.

"Well, you look like hell," Leah snarked.

Bella only grunted.

"Can I come in?" Leah asked after a minute.

Bella shrugged and stood aside to let her through the door. Leah plopped down on the couch. Bella stood a few feet away, arms crossed.

"What are you doing here, Leah?"

"Ugh. It's like a fucking crypt over there," she lamented. "I had to get out."

Bella's chest burned. She desperately tried to push it away; the image of Jake, broken and desperate a few nights ago clouded her mind.

She didn't want to ask, but the words flew out of her mouth anyway.

"How bad—" Bella cleared her throat. "I mean, Jake, is he—"

"Okay?" Leah laughed harshly. "No, he's a wreck."

It felt like someone had punched her. She shouldn't care. He was the one that had given up, had left her, had let her believe he was dead and then just stood by and watched her fall apart.

"Would you rather me lie to you?" Leah asked.

"No." Bella managed to say. Tears burned the back of her throat. "But what do you want from me? He lied, he—"

"Bella, I know what he did. I get what you're feeling. When Sam—" Leah took a breath.

Bella and Leah stared at each other for several moments, a silent conversation stretching between them.

"Just talk to him, that's all I'm trying to say," Leah said finally. "Regardless if you end up together or not, I think you both deserve to have some closure."

Bella stayed silent. Her heart was bleeding. At one point she'd been a stupid irrational eighteen year old girl. She'd thought back then she knew what love was. Which is why she didn't even recognize it or want to when she fell in love with Jake. Breaking his heart that day had broken hers more than she thought she could bear. Enough to alter her future. And for the last three years she has been pining after a ghost—or so she had believed.

Bella sank down onto the sofa. "God, this is so messed up."

"Yeah," Leah agreed. "It is. But you're not the only one who's suffered. He—"

Bella's phone rang cutting her off.

It was Aaron.

"Hey," Bella said, trying her best to sound cheery. It was harder than she thought.

"Hey babe," he answered. "Want to catch a movie tonight?"

Bella swallowed nervously, her eyes darted to Leah's. "Um...yeah sure," she agreed.

Shit. What am I doing?

Leah narrowed her eyes. Are you serious? No. she mouthed, simultaneously shaking her head.

Bella squeezed her eyes shut. Suddenly everything with Aaron seemed a hell of a lot more complicated. And that thought made her angry. Even if she did agree to talk to Jake that doesn't mean she's going to get sucked back into all that supernatural bullshit. She was free of that now. Living a normal life. Just because they'd once had feelings for each other doesn't change the fact that everything has changed.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, a small voice was laughing at her pathetic and pitiful attempt to convince herself she wasn't just terrified and scared and confused and running away by running into Aaron's open arms.

"Pick me up in an hour?" she asked in what she hoped was a sweet and flirty tone.

Leah was sick of this. Walking out of Bella's apartment, she called Embry to form a new plan. She wasn't going to stand by and watch her choose someone else over Jake again. The pack needed Jake. And losing Bella for good might just destroy him.

~000~

Jacob groaned as Embry ripped the thick comforter that was hiding him. Leah opened the blinds, letting undiluted late afternoon sunlight flood the dark, stinky, depressing hole his room had become. Jake flipped over onto to his stomach, and buried his head under a pillow.

"Go. Away."

"No." The steal and force of Embry's voice was new. Jacob froze, his wolf instantly defensive. He may not have ever accepted his birth right as Alpha, but it was in his blood. A tense minute of silence followed.

Leah swore and shook her head. "Get your ass up, Jake."

A growl sounded in his chest. He sat up and glared at Leah and Embry. But he couldn't hold onto the anger. After a few moments, his shoulders dropped and he hung his head. His broken whisper was loud to his ears. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"Fight for her," Embry said matter-of-factly.

Jake shook his head and shoved his fingers into his inky black hair. "She hates me."

Leah snorted. "She doesn't hate you."

Jake looked up. "How do you know?" he asked angrily.

The hard expression on Leah's face softened. "Because I never hated Sam."

Jake's brow furrowed and he looked to Embry. But Embry didn't look surprised. He only nodded his encouragement when Leah's eyes flashed to his.

"I was angry. Hurt and bitter. I felt betrayed and heartbroken," she went on. "It was easier sometimes to try and hate him. But I never really could. In fact—" once again her eyes flashed to Embry. He offered her a tight smile and Jake wondered for the first time how much had changed, how much he'd missed in the last three years. "—a part of me still loves him."

Jake stared at her for several minutes before he spoke again, trying to process everything. Finally he shook his head sadly, slowly. "You don't know her like I do. I fucked up, she'll never—"

"Stop being such a fucking pussy, Jake!" Embry exploded, shocking both Jake and Leah into silence. "Do you want to know where your girl is right now? On a date. With some blonde douchebag that reeks of vampire! You need to pull your head out of your ass, stop moping around and go fight for your girl!"

It took Jake a moment to recover from his stunned silence, but when he did, his temper flared. "She's not my girl! She's never been mine, Em!"

Embry snorted. "That's the biggest fucking lie I've ever heard. You and her are—" Embry grappled for some profound comparison or word that would sum them up. "Soul mates."

"Em, if that were true, I'd have imprinted on her years ago," Jake responded.

"Fuck the wolf stuff, Jake," Leah interrupted. "Get out of your bed and make this right."

Jake looked defeated and heartbroken and lost. "How?"

Leah wrinkled her nose, "I'd start by taking a fucking shower."

Embry burst out laughing.

"Ha Ha," Jake responded dryly, but a smile twitched at the corner of his mouth. The sarcastic humor was just enough to get him out of bed.

Jake stood under the spray in the shower for a long time thinking about Embry and Leah's lecture, and Bella's words and actions the night he saw her. Embry was right, when had he given up?

He leaned his forehead against the cool tiles and let his mind focus on one moment from a few nights ago. He'd always wanted her to come to him. To kiss him. To choose him. And in that moment, for only a second, she had.

A new steely resolve hardened inside him. Jake shut off the water and climbed out of the shower. He refused to be defeated. He'd let the vampire win. He'd be damned if he let it happen again. He wouldn't let him hurt her again, or the Volturi. He had to try to win her back.

"Embry," Jake called after he'd gotten dressed. "What did you mean when you said that guy smelt like vampire? He's not—"

"No he's not, but he reeks like he's been around them."

Jake's jaw clenched and his eye twitched.

"You think it's the Cullens?" Embry asked. "One of them was at the club the other night."

"I don't know," Jake answered. "But I intend to find out."

"Where are you going to do?" Embry called after him.

Jake shrugged and turned back to his friend. "Wait outside her door until she comes home?"

Embry grinned and shook his head. "Like a lost puppy."

Jake grinned back. It was the first true smile he'd felt stretch across his face in three long years.