A/N: So sorry for the wait. Warning…I would rate this PG-13. Reviews are love!
Fourteen minutes, thirty-six seconds, thirty-seven, thirty-eight, each one dragged more then the last. The elevator dinged for the fourth time and she looked up slowly her eyes meeting Carly's and her heart broke.
"What happened, where's Michael, where's my son" Carly asked her hands trembling.
Alexis placed her hands over the other women's and tried to find her words, "Patrick is in there with him…there was an accident…a car, Max was driving him home from school"
"Oh God…oh God…my baby" Carly cried out, the sob choking in her throat.
"Carly, come on…you have to breathe, shhh, sit down"
The women in front of started to take deep breaths with her coaxing, "Good, good, just like that" she said leading her over to one of the chairs. It took everything in her not to break down…not yet, not when people needed her to be strong.
Bobbie came running through the doors seconds later, "Mama," Carly cried as Alexis stepped out of the way.
Rubbing her hands over her face she tried to quell the dull ache in her stomach…it was no use especially when the door burst open.
Toffee colored eye met chocolate colored and he saw the answers to his questions.
"Lex" he whimpered.
She came to him slowly; her hands touching his cheeks, her eyes staring into his…almost as if to will him to be strong…to give her strength as his own. The pain burnt at her insides.
"He's in surgery…he's a strong boy Sonny…a fighter, okay…just like his daddy"
Gulping back the sob he tried to pull himself together, "Kristina is with…with Mike, he called Viola, she is going to come pick her up"
"Okay, okay, that's good" she told him nodding her hands still cupping his face.
"Sonny" she heard Carly whisper behind her.
Stepping out of the way she saw him crack, "Car" he said grasping her in a tight hold.
Alexis felt the emotion slipping from her; looking towards the ceiling she tried to blink black the tears.
Jason burst through the door moments later; the frenzied look on his face cracking what was left of her resolve.
The tears fell in a steady flow as Sonny found his way back to her side…they sat in the hard plastic chairs finding strength in just being close to each other.
Epiphany walked in an hour later, "Pat-, Dr. Drake was able to stop the brain bleed…but Michael is still in critical condition…we are monitoring his vitals, and we will know more after the tests come back" she managed to get out hoping she could mask the emotion in her own voice. Cases didn't usually get to her…but this one; it had…and every time she looked at Michael on that table, she could see her Stanford.
Silence fell over the room. Alexis found her fingers intertwining with Sonny's, Jason and Carly clung to each other, and Bobbie sat there an eerie stillness over her.
She couldn't have told you how long they sat there, silent…waiting. The lids of her eyes were heavy, her body weak, every nerve felt exposed. Sonny seemed to pick up on the tension radiating from her.
"Hey, you look exhausted…you should go home" he said his eyes still locked on the doors in front of him.
"No Son-"
Cutting her off, "Alexis, please…go home, kiss Kristina for me, let her know her daddy loves her" he said turning to her the infinite sadness in his eyes making her ache all over.
"Call me, as soon as you hear something, okay?"
He gave her a pained smile and nod. She didn't look back because she knew if she had that it would have been impossible to leave his side…and as selfish as she felt the only thing she wanted was to go home and hug her daughters.
OoOoOoOoOoO
He hadn't needed to see the results; he was good enough surgeon to know. To know that he failed a child…sure the surgery was textbook…he had done everything right, and yet it still wasn't enough. The pain swelled in his chest and he wanted nothing more then to have a drink…to crawl into a bottle and never back out. It was moments like this that scared him the most…where he could look into the future and see him reliving the sins of the father.
On his way to Jake's he made a detour.
OoOoOoOoOoO
The last kiss fell onto Kristina's mocha tinged skin…she felt guilty for being slightly relieved the girl's were already in bed when she came home. She couldn't imagine having to explain to Kristina why daddy ran off during their visit…or why Michael never showed up for ice cream. The very thought of it made the dull throb come back to life in the pit of her stomach and the pain started to consume her.
Pouring herself a glass of wine she hoped to quell some of the anxiety. The knock on the door startled her. She wasn't quite expecting the brown eyes on the other side…. or the lost look in them.
The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out
"Hey" he whispered his voice filled with hoarse emotion.
"Are you okay?"
He shrugged and attempted a pained smile, "yeah, I just wanted to see you"
She knew he was lying, knew that it was taking everything inside of him not to show the cracks to her.
"Come in"
Running his hands through his hair, "you know when you take the Hippocratic oath you think, this is it…I am a doctor, I am going to save lives…what you don't realize is how often you do everything humanly possible and it's still not enough" he said the emotion lacing every syllable.
Watching him was like someone cutting small flesh wounds in your skin…not enough to really do any damage but enough just enough to cause you an excruciating amount of pain.
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain, there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you
Her hand touched his arm softly, his hand coming over her own and gently pulling her to him. His face was buried in her shoulder and the sweet smell of her skin invaded his senses, coming over him and soothing the pain.
The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life
Having her so close to him, their hearts beating against each other…he had never felt this close to another person…and it made him long for her.
Hands rubbed his back, her voice above a whisper lulling him. His head came up, his eyes searching hers.
There were certain moments in her life when Alexis knew she could either run or stay and let something happen…something she wasn't trying to control. Looking into Patrick's puppy dog brown eyes she knew this was one of them.
His lips touched hers very tentative at first, almost asking permission. Her
arms came around him in silent acceptance.
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (in the pain), is there healing
In your name (in your name) I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you
Kisses deepened, tongues danced until she pulled away breathless.
"Patrick what are we" she asked trailing off.
A sad smile came to his face, the pain in his eyes very much alive, "I need you" he admitted.
Millions of thoughts ran through her head; most telling her to run…but she had run too much in her life…and it was too exhausting.
I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be OK
Taking his hand she silently led him down the hall to her bedroom. She had never let any man in there after Ric; never allowed someone to get that close again.
Turning to him, his eyes glowed like embers with a mix of intense pain, longing…desire.
Slowly he came so close to her, so close, and she tried to breathe, but her mind was in so many different places it seemed her brain wasn't sure of the signals to send.
Her fingers came to his shirt, popping each button open slowly, her heart speeding up with every new inch of exposed skin.
Nimble surgeon fingers tangled in a strand of her hair as he watched her finding everything about her achingly intoxicating.
When she came to the last button she admired the tanned muscular chest and quickly moved her lips to touch it. Heat radiated, burning her lips with desire.
A moan came from him as she peppered loving kisses down his stomach moving lower. Her fingers slowly pulled the buckle on his belt open before popping the button on his slacks, slowly sliding the zipper down.
He ached for her, every touch closer to driving him over the edge. He pulled her back up to him, his eyes seeking hers before he leaned in…his tongue beginning to caress her inner ear, the hot breath causing goose bumps to come alive down her back.
His hands touched at the skin between her pants and shirt first before slowly moving up her torso.
"I need you, I need you now" she whispered the trepidation in her voice filled with a wanton lust.
Smiling he pulled her close and then backed them to her bed. He sat her down before him, and then ridded his body of the rest of his clothing.
Naked he was before her…physically and emotionally.
She touched him and he stripped off her shirt reveling in the swell of her breasts under the black lace bra. He came to his knees his mouth tracing the delicate curve of her collarbone as he unlatched the bra letting her spill out into his hands.
The touches on her skin drove her crazy and she fell back from the intensity of it all. His hands came down her sides to the sides of her lounge pants. He pulled them over slowly, his mouth following down her long legs. When she was finally rid of them he moved back up doing the same with the lacy black boy shorts.
"You're beautiful" he said his eyes drinking her naked body in.
A nervous smile came to her face, "you're not so bad yourself"
Slowly he brought himself to her, his mouth crashing upon hers as their bodies became one.
The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home
(Broken – Lifehouse)
