Hello there! been a while, huh? Enjoy!
"That's more like it," Astrid nodded. "Me saving you, for once. I totally could. Just so you know."
"I don't doubt it," Hiccup assured her. "Can I see that?"
She handed him the scroll.
"There's only one problem with this, other than the whole captured-and-enslaved thing. The Romans fell like 300 years ago. It's historically impossible. That's reassuring, actually."
"Hmph! What does this mean? I'm only sane because YOU'RE around? What do you have to do with my sanity! And if you ran away, I would NOT go on some killing spree as a result. My sanity is NOT questionable!" Astrid glared around her like she was addressing a vast audience. "Knock that off, you morons."
"Astrid, they can't hear us," Hiccup tried to say. He was glad Toothless was there to back him up.
"They have to be getting information on us somehow! How do you know they're not watching?"
Well, that's not paranoid at all, he thought, but wisely kept that thought to himself. How did he know they weren't watching?
Snoutlout was hurt. "I admit, I've been a jerk."
"Lout, been? You were jerky two minutes ago."
"Two minutes ago is still in the past!" He cried.
"He's really serious," Fishlegs observed.
'I've been a jerk," Snoutlout continued. "But really, these writers represent me as so heartless. I've been pushing Hiccup into mud puddles since we were born; it's just a habit by now."
"Because that makes it okay," Hiccup muttered.
"And yes, I flirt with his girlfriend. But I've been doing that for years too. Besides, it's good for him to have a little competition."
Astrid guffawed. "Yes, Snoutlout, you are truly competition."
He held up his hand. "Not right now, Astrid. But that doesn't mean I don't—" his voice dropped to a murmur. "—care about him."
"What was that?" Hiccup asked.
Snoutlout repeated it, slightly louder.
"Still didn't catch it," he said pleasantly.
He bellowed: "CARE ABOUT HIM!"
Hiccup grinned. "Aw, you do have a heart. And I just thought you hung out with me because of Astrid."
"I do! You just totally twisted my words, little cousin!"
Hiccup winced. "Do we have to go back to little cousin? I thought we made progress!"
"Shut up. I still can beat you up."
"The leg hasn't made me any less fast, Lout. I can still outrun you, and—" His voice was snug. "I have Toothless, and we can outfly you too."
"Oooooh, you gonna take that, Lout?"
"Fishlegs is right, your arrogance points are going up."
"Not if he's telling the truth," Ruffnut pointed out.
"Oh, be quiet," Snoutlout grumbled.
"Okay, big cousin," Hiccup agreed. "I'm going to shut it."
They learned a new term, whump, and celebrated by having a paper snowball fight with all those fanfics. It was beautiful.
Ruffnut looked at Hiccup and burst into giggles. Hiccup had experience ignoring giggling, but eventually he had to ask, "What?"
"It's silly…but…" she started to laugh again. "Just…read this…."
Astrid looked at her, concealing giggles of her own, "You're laughing because Hiccup swears in the fanfic?"
She tumbled helplessly over Tuffnut. "He never curses! It's so funny! Teehee!"
Astrid gave in to her laughter. "I think it's funnier when they have him drinking! He can't hold a half glass!"
"Someone has to stay sober to get you drunkards home," he called.
She turned towards him and again died laughing. "Ruffnut, remember on my birthday?" They shrieked and rolled over the floor, cackling.
"Shut up or I talk about what happened on MY birthday," Hiccup threatened. "I'm sure your mom would be very interested to know about YOUR activities, Miss Thorston."
"KILLJOY!" She yelled, but shushed. That was never going to be discussed again if she could help it.
The twins, contrary to their condemnation of musicals, had taken to singing about their lives. They made up songs to go with each fanfiction type. The two most commonly sung ones were, "Ree-JECT-ted!" as a fic was trashed, or "Acc-CEPT-ted!" if it was shelved. The others got so used to hearing them they started doing it too.
"AUGHHHH! REJECTED!" Hiccup cried, flinging the paper away from him. "Ew. Can you believe someone made me cursed—"
"Yes—"
"—so I was a hermaphrodite—"
"Ew!"
"Wait, what?" Snoutlout asked, but Hiccup was still talking.
"—and Toothless raped me—"
"What story IS this?"
"—and at the end we become mates." Hiccup cringed.
"Yeah, I call that Ree-JECT-ted!" Tuffnut agreed.
Something else that bothered Hiccup was Toothless-finding-out-about-his-tail-fics. Okay, one, Toothless knows. He is just saying… Toothless is very intelligent. Hiccup had TOLD him the first time they met. "I brought down this mighty beast! I did this!" seemed pretty explanatory. And then, invariably in those stories, Toothless would get angry. Leave. Gods above, how was he supposed to feel about that? He's had awful nightmares about Toothless' tail growing back and him happily flying away without a glance back. He shook his head, laying a hand on Toothless' warm scales. Toothless hummed. Hiccup stoked the fire with any fanfic he found with the terribly overused tail plot. He started talking to Toothless after a while, until Astrid came in and asked him, "You know if people we didn't know came in right now they'd think you're crazy?"
"How else am I supposed to talk to him, sign language?"
Astrid only laughed. "You're such a moron. You're lucky I like you anyway."
They received a letter, signed by a small army of people, explaining that they passed along the scrolls to reach Berk. They were requesting permission to read and comment on the scrolls, since by now they were really curious. Review the stories. "Oh, why not?" Fishlegs said, and Hiccup started to write the reply.
That occupied their conversation until they were told of DeviantART….
Da da dunn! So now they're going to get REVIEWS, and they'll get the wonderful deviantART! The deviantART chapter will be the next one, so send me ideas pertaining to that as well as the usual fanfiction ones. Everyone excited? I am!
