I awoke to the quietness of my room but did nothing but stare at the wall across from me for a few moments. My body heavy a bit heavy, but maybe it had to do with the fact that I had awoken up earlier than usual.

I then heard Anna call out for me,"wake up Elsa! It is your birthday!" I slowly sat up to stare at the door, wanting to tell her to go away, but I realized something.

She said happy birthday. It was my birthday? I was feeling more sure that it was as I contemplated it.

"Come out and celebrate Elsa" was..that her father?

"After all, you are our child" and the Queen too. Why...why were they now remembering? I did not want to go but their voices were soothing and pleasant. My legs carried me off the bed and towards the door.

My hands softly latched on the knob to turn, and with a small opening peered my head out to the long hallway. Both sides of the hallway were empty, and looked as if it stretched a mile extra.

"Over here, over here" Anna's voice echoed cheerfully in the hallway. I hesitated for a brief moment, looked back a my dark room, before slipped out the door and closed it behind me.

I turned my head in both directions to guess where Anna voice was coming from,"in the ballroom, in the ballroom" Anna continued to chant happily.

I started nervously down the hallway, unsure if I should continue following Anna's voice. I should not even be out, when Anna could get hurt.

The moment my mind was starting to think that this was a bad idea and that I should turn around,"come on. You don't have to worry anymore" the Queen's voice spoke.

I froze for a second as her words pierced my broken heart, and tears started to appear from my widen eyes. I took a step forward. And then another.

I was giving a half-hearted jog down the supposedly endless hallway. Everything was going to be all right. The words felt a bit more comforting than anything they had said before.

"You won't be able to hurt anyone from now on" my heart beat painfully when I heard my father speak. The idea of no longer being able to hurt anyone anymore was the best birthday gift I could ask for, nothing else.

My feet carried me faster, and only then did the endless hallway seem to have a end. My tears fell behind me, as I turned the corner and continued to find my way around the castle. I had found myself stumbling trying to reach the ballroom as fast as I could.

The moment I reach the large double doors I threw them wide open to reveal the beautiful lights and the people dancing. I smiled through teary eyes and barely took the time to enjoy the scenery.

I started to twirl and carry myself through the crowd, as my world began to spin round and round myself. I felt the weight of a kingdom being lifted off my shoulders and I had no idea why.

The sky drew unnatural darker until I could no longer see. I stopped and looked around, expecting people to panic in the dark. There was no music and no voices.

Then the windows flashed light in seconds into the room, and disappeared for a while as I tried to see what I could not before. The windows flashed the lights of a silent thunder once again, giving a more visual scenery.

I started to slowly walk back before I bumped into something in the dark. I felt behind me and turned my head up without seeing anything.

The flash of thunder show a woman frozen in fear. I spun around and tried to walk away but only the thunder gave me sight and with every turn I saw people frozen.

The room flashed and they drew closer. The room flashed and they surrounded me.

I awoke to see the icicles spread around my bed. I needed another new bed. I wondered if I could make my own bed of ice?

I sat up to check my surroundings, unsure if I was still asleep or awake. My eyes drifted towards the door, as I waited for the knocking of my sister. Eighteen years had passed and during the past five years Anna had kept her promise of always knocking at my door.

She would always ask 'do you want to build a snowman' and I would nod yes, but always say no. I was happy that my sister still cared for me, but it was just too painful to always tell her to go away.

I knew I did not want to say this but I wish that Anna would stop knocking at my door. It would be just better if she just enjoy the rest of her childhood without me. She had no real responsibility since I was heir, despite the fact that I should not be heir, and could probably live her own life if she really wanted to.

I kept staring at the door, still waiting for her to knock. I waited, and waited some more. However, the more I thought about it I started to remember why she may not be knocking at my door.

Today was the day that the King and Queen were leaving. I got up and got dressed and threw one of my less damaged blanket over my bed to hide the icicles. I never told them about the nightmares or the damages that it caused. I have been carefully making the servants bring me new sheets without ever knowing why. I took every precaution to ensure that the ice under my bed or the damages it does to the surface of my room is hardly noticeable.

There was a knock on the door, and for a brief moment I thought it was Anna, but it was only the King and Queen.

"Come in" I spoke softly as they entered the room and closed the door behind them. They kept their distance, and I was unsure if they wanted to be close but knew that I preferred my distance or if they were secretly nervous of me. Due to my nightmares I would not be surprised, but even without my nightmares I would have still probably have come to the same conclusion.

I curtsied and looked up" do you have to go?"

They nodded and the King replied, "you'll be fine."

Yes... fine. I have nothing to worry about except that my powers could become uncontrollable and everyone dies. Or maybe someone such as the servants would find out and the news would spread. Servants are big gossipers, and are hardly ever trusted being in the same room during important meetings.

How would you react to see me hung from a noose for being a monster? Would you just make Anna heir and play it off as political advantage? Or would you be scared that people might question your authority for having a freakish child?

I nodded my head understanding as they turned to go and head out. The king was out of view as the Queen stopped with her hand in the door frame. She turned to me with a soft smile.

"Happy birthday Elsa" and closed the door behind her.

I stood in complete shock as I tried to comprehend what she had just said. It was my birthday, was it not? My eighteenth birthday.

I smiled sadly and whispered, "thank you... your majesty" but I still could not call her my mother.

I did find some courage to tell the nannies that I would not be taking my lessons today, probably because the Queen's statement made me feel.. somewhat happy. Even though I was not her child, and one of a harlot, she was never rude. The King and Queen never gave me comfort.

It was always 'you will be fine' and 'everything is all right', but I knew that it was not. That was not comforting, but they were not bad parents. They were too busy to raise their kids, that is why they had nannies.

The whole day passed and Anna had not knocked on my door, and the next morning when I expected her to knock, it was not her.

"Your majesty" majesty? I was only a princess.

"Yes" I asked nervously.

"..." I was becoming paranoid,"I am sorry to tell you that your parents have passed away."

I just stood there ask the man began to ask if I was all right.

No...

"No... no, no, no, no" I began to walked backwards as my words had no ability to form the sounds. The servant left since he could no longer hear me.

I grasped my head and tried to yank myself to look towards the ceiling to keep myself from crying. It felt so much like 'de ja vu' as the indoor blizzard surrounded me. I spun and wobbled straight like a drunkard as the icicles began to thrash everywhere.

Slash. The blizzard continues but I stopped to feel my slightly warm cheek, and withdrew to see a drop of blood. My eyes shifted and widen in horror to the long icicles that hovered next to the cheek it cut.

My knees gave way and I fell to the floor the moment a blast of ice destroyed the icicles and halted the blizzard in mid-air. I leaned my head against my door as everything was covered in snow. I never even properly said goodbye to them.

I leaned against the door for hours as I continued to feel such as a horrible daughter. The King and Queen died and I did not even say 'I love you'.

Then there was a knock. It was Anna.

"E-elsa they told m-me... that they are gone" my sister was actually crying. I wanted to cry with her, but my tears would not fall." They said...a man washed up and said they died the day they left"

In other words they died yesterday during my birthday. Anna stilled continued as I kept silent"... please... tell me you are coming... for the funeral" Anna's voice was rough from the sobbing.

I was about to say yes, but felt another drop on my hands. I looked to see the blood still dripping.

"...no" I bit my lip to prevent myself from screaming.

"What? Please" she begged with a croaked voice.

"I said I am not going" I firmly stated, wiping the rest of the blood from my cheek.

"... How could you" I heard her whisper, and was shocked. "After... after all they done, you can't even give them the proper respects. They are our parents"no, they were yours.

I still kept silent and covered my mouth,"I hate you... I hate you! So don't even bother showing up to the funeral. Stay in there like you always do!"

The moment I heard her heels click away in the distance I buried my face in my hands, as the tears leaked out. I knew she hated me. All the years I kept her out, and I knew her facade would not last long.

Deep down I always felt that she hated me.

I never left my spot against the door, waiting for the funeral to end. I should have known better. I was not sure what I should have specifically known, but I was sure there was something to blame me for.

It was always my fault.

"Elsa" Anna came back? "Please, I know you're in there people are asking where you've been" was she singing? "They say have courage and I'm trying to, I'm right out here for you. Please let me in" I wish I could but I was in no condition to talk or comfort her. Every thing I touch turns to ice, and every word I speak makes anything beautiful into crumble like ice.

She continued to sing,"we only have each other, it's just you and me" and look how useful I turned out to be. "What are we gonna do?...Do you want to build a snowman" her voice drifted off from a soft sad to a low croak.

No, I do not want to build a snowman.

I had messed up so many things that I had wished that I was dead already.