My mother and I share a room on the train that is probably simple by the Capitol's standards. To one side there is a pair of stacked beds, and on the other there is a small table framed by a large curtained window overlooking the country. It is absolutely breathtaking. In just two days (this the third being our last day on the Effie-Express as I have come to think of it) we have pressed past vast lakes, through towering mountains, out over plains and down through valleys.
Effie told me that this is not all. That if we took another pathway, we might see vast expanses of desert (a hot, sandy wasteland, she had explained) or the unfathomably huge ocean, teeming with life and filled with saltwater. I want to see it all.
That's what Awren and I will do when we are victors. I chuckle at my own feeble lie, but in reality I am clinging to this impossible dream. We will tour Panem from sea to glistening sea.
I am lying flat on my bed pondering this, when my mother enters. We haven't spoken much since the incident at dinner the other day, as I have been eating after the rest of them finish so I don't have to see their resignation to a fate that belongs to me. "Primrose," she begins. She looks so tired, and there is a dullness behind her eyes where she has already lost hope in me.
"Don't." I snap. "Just don't." I can't handle hearing what she might say.
She opens her mouth again, but then slowly shuts it, her head crumpling inwards to brush her chest. I want nothing more than to hold her, to let her hold me, but neither of us can afford to be babied right now. The Capitol demands that we be strong or die.
And I am not one to back down from a fight.
When the train pulls into the Capitol, I think that something has gone wrong with the train. It sounds like a hive of tracker jackers has been unleashed upon the train- a rising buzz that drones in my ears and penetrates the peace. I rise from the chair where I have been sitting dreaming, and slowly move to the window. I open the curtains a tiny crack, and peek out.
I am blinded.
The train is caught in a beam of light, refracting in a thousand dazzling rays in every direction. The train has driven straight into the sun itself, and we are about to burn up in the celestial glory. The train has crashed, and I have died in a bath of blinding white.
The train has reached the Capitol.
Huge silver spires grasp at the heavens, vast neon domes crouch lower, dominating the land area. Snakes of black road wind around everything, and it appears that the stories were correct about the gold-paved sidewalks. Twisted dancers of buildings weave in on every open space, glimmering in every shade of a rainbow. It's a paradise, a haven of beauty and safety. But the noise? I look all around me, but cannot locate its source. I look down.
"Holy shit! Prim look out your window!"
"I am looking Awren, I can't believe it though." Are they here for us? Never have I imagined that this many people could exist in the whole world, much less in only one small stretch of earth. Thousands of bodies press up against the train; a mob surrounding us like ants clustered around a dropped piece of bread.
At first sight, they don't look human. These Capitol-dwellers are aliens with warped faces and unnatural coloring. I see a woman with pink hair like Effie, and smile. They must be sisters!
Seeing my smirk, the crowd cheers. Like excited children, they chant for my district, "Twe-elve! Twe-elve!" I can't help but to smile back even more at their enthusiasm.
"Awren! Come in here with me!" Suddenly, a strategic part of my brain has switched on. These will be sponsors in the arena. It's probably best if Awren and I look like we're friends. If I'm honest with myself however, I know that I really just want to have someone here with me.
Awren does not seem to be enjoying the crowd's attention, however, and enters the room scowling. Disgust is scrawled all over his young face, and in a moment of clarity I am appalled at how easily I have been sucked in to their game. I forgot too quickly that these people will be watching, and probably cheering, as Awren and I lose our lives.
As soon as I let this horror display on my face, Awren takes my hand and squeezes it once. I look down, and he has plastered on a fake cheery smile. "You were right," he mouths over the roar. "We need to look happy and lovable."
It makes me feel sick to my stomach to smile again, but the crowd goes nuts seeing us together and smiling. We return some of their waves, and I even blow a few kisses at no one in particular. It seems to take forever, but eventually the train escapes the throngs of people and pulls to a stop.
Effie bursts into our car, "Well well! You two are already professionals at this! EVERYONE is talking about the adorable little pair from District 12, and I think you've garnered quite a lot of support already!" She looks down at us full of excitement and pride. Bending down, she pulls us into a tight, perfumed hug. As she trots out of the room on her 6-inch maroon stilettos, I can hear her whisper, "Maybe next year I will be promoted to a decent district!"
I feel all knotted up inside, but I won't let myself cry in front of Awren. How could I have gotten caught up in the madness so quickly? This is my life on the line! I am furious at my own weakness, and vow to keep aloof of the bloodthirsty Capitol citizens from here on out. After all, I think grimly, you can't rely on Awren to bring you back to your senses in the Games. To protect Awren, I have to be responsible enough for the two of us.
