I do not own Warm Bodies. It's just awesome.

Human

Chapter 8: Sickness and Health


It was during the fourth week of his human life that it finally happened. It was unplanned and unexpected. The experience of it was unlike anything R had ever felt before. It changed him forever. He would never again view the human world in quite the same way. Nothing could have prepared him for it. Julie would always remember it as well. She had some previous experience but that had been quite some time ago. Easy to forget the intensity of it. Easy to forget how your whole world shrinks to a pinpoint of time. Easy to forget the whole world and everything else in it except that one person you're with. It solidified their special bond in even more ways than she could have imagined. As is often the case, at the time, the details were a little hazy and vague.

"Oh, Julie! Julie, I need you! Julie!"

"Hold on, R! I'm almost there!"

"Julie, I can't wait anymore!"

"Please, R! Just a few more seconds!"

He tried. They barely made it. Braced by Julie's diminutive frame, R lurched into the bathroom and staggered toward the toilet. Julie stepped back out quickly and shut the door behind her as R dropped into position and fumbled for the bucket she'd left for him.

Just in time too. R lost everything all at once. Absolutely everything. From everywhere. A complete and utter involuntary evacuation. He didn't know humans could experience this severe a physical reaction and survive. It was completely horrendous. He had no control over anything his body did. He was powerless in throes of a violent, hostile takeover.

Apart from actually ripping into a cranial cavity, scooping out the grey matter, and putting it in his mouth, this was the most disgusting thing R had ever witnessed or experienced. Even when he was a Corpse, a part of him had enjoyed the sensation of feeling better, of feeling a little less dead. And since he was dead, there had actually been no taste at all.

There was no part of this experience that made him feel that any of that. The pain, the helplessness, the shame, even the actual taste, it was all just beyond words. It was one of the few times R had no inner monologue because it was impossible to form any thoughts other than 'oh no, not again'.

Emptied out, drained, weak, he carefully put down the bucket as far away as he could and still reach it. He started to slowly clean himself up but it was a pointless exercise. The horrible sickness attacked him all over again and his efforts were futile as he once again expelled everything he had to offer within his treacherous, ailing body.

R had no sense of time. All he knew was that the misery was never going to stop. Finally, it seemed to be over. He once again cleaned himself. Even cleaned, he felt hideously, disgustingly filthy. He would never feel clean again. Ever. The smell alone was atrocious.

When he shakily rose, he was weak and dizzy. He almost fell over but managed to clumsily flush the disgusting mess away and then flush the bucket contents as well without getting sick all over again. Then he stumbled over to the sink and washed his hands. Shuffling to the door, he opened it.

Bed. Bed. See bed. Go to bed. Julie? Where Julie? Julie? Please come quick. I'm dying.

From a chair in a corner, Julie stood up as R collapsed into the bed. She carefully wrapped his trembling body in a warm blanket, wiped his sweaty, clammy face with a blessedly cool rag, and murmured comforting words that included "be here" and "sleep".

She headed off in the direction of the bathroom, presumably to clean and disinfect it. If R had been lucid at all, he would have been sorrowful to see her go, knowing that he would never again feel the comfort of her acceptance and love. There are some horrors that nothing can witness and withstand. Especially wet, smelly, sick things. Fortunately, before R could think any of this, he passed out.

Later when he opened his eyes, he was alone in a room he barely recognized.

My room. I'm in my room. Why am I in my room? R wondered groggily.

Because, O' Vomitus One, you have unceremoniously cheesed and excremented all over creation and are hence forthwith banished from the presence of Julie and all other living beings. Like, forever. You're completely gross, dude.

R almost welcomed the idiot back into his head. Almost. If his psyche was strong enough to produce the idiot, he might not be dying. Maybe. Then he made the mistake of moving. He groaned weakly. Everything hurt. Every. Single. Thing. With regret, he closed his eyes and waited dejectedly for the inevitable end of his short human existence.

Well, I enjoyed it while it lasted, R thought pitifully. It was more than I could've hoped for. I'll miss it. Kind of a bummer.

R was unwell for several days. Julie tended to him around the clock, sleeping on the couch in his room and keeping watch over him. She brought him sustenance and medicine to heal his infirm body. She prayed his still newly human body would remember how to mend itself and not regress to something even worse. These types of things could get out of control easily in the post-apocalyptic world. It had happened before.

Luckily, the sickness did pass. When R was stronger and consistently symptom-free, Julie brought him back into her room. She stayed with him, talking, playing music, and reading, much as she did the first few days after his human rebirth. She forced him to eat and drink when he didn't want to. She threatened to enlist Marcus' help in the rehabilitation process. Did R really want Marcus to come and snuggle up in bed with him? No? Better eat all the soup then. Nora stayed in the background and kept an eye not only on R, but on her friend. That was her job. Looking out for Julie. The Colonel sent regular supplies to the house and ran lackeys' legs off in an effort to keep updated while out in the field eradicating Boneys. R got better. Life moved on. Thankfully.


Bright sunlight sparkled through the mostly bare tree branches. A few light, fluffy clouds drifted slowly across the blue sky. Gentle zephyrs puffed cool breaths through the tranquil air. Young, tender grass shoots pushed up through the awakening earth and whispering water lapped quietly at the edge of the small lake. All in all, a charming scene.

Julie sat cross-legged on the ground, her blond tresses loose around her shoulders. R lay on his back with his head resting on her delicate ankles, one leg stretched out in front of him and one leg slightly bent at the knee. His hands were clasped and resting on his flat stomach. His peaceful face was tilted up to hers and appeared upside down to her vision. He might have been sleeping if not for the faint smile that occasionally flitted across his handsome countenance.

Julie affectionately caressed his face and neck. She ran her fingers lightly over his features, committing everything to memory all over again. She gently stroked his silky eyelids and long lashes, his straight, strong nose, and his uniquely shaped eyebrows. She traced his lips intently, fascinated by their texture and shape. She drew soft lines on his collarbone and the hollow of his throat, slowly up his long, alluring neck, and around his defined chin. She brushed her fingers in long, slow, sweeping strokes up his jawline to his distinctive cheekbones.

When she reached his ears, she traced them and then playfully tugged. She ran her hands slowly through his hair, mussing and ruffling it until it stuck up in all directions. He smirked, and without opening his eyes, reached up to lovingly cup and stroke her face. Then his hands slipped down slowly to massage the length of her back. The touch of his fingers sent quiet shivers through her spine. She took a moment to look away from him, raising her face gratefully to the warm sun and taking a deep, content breath.

"Julie?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad we came out here."

"Me too."

"Julie?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too, R."


The second experience is mine (not with Nicholas Hoult of course, haha) and I've always treasured it. =)