Note: My laptop was stolen so I had to completely start over. Fun, right? Regardless, here you are! Language warnings and that's it.
Also, it appears that my chapter 7 got messed up somehow... so I'll have to re-write and fix it. Because it def should have began where it left off rather than leaping into the future lol.
Enjoy, review, and comment! Thanks everyone :-)
"Please, please, pleeeaaase tell me one of you is up to date on Fruits Basket? I'm just dying to talk about it and because I'm not sure I can keep my mouth shut another meeting without spilling the fact that Tohru just confessed -"
"Usagi-chan, could you be quiet and actually study for five whole minutes?"
"Yeesh Ami, you don't have to be such a stick in the mud. Why don't you borrow my manga and catch up? Well, it's actually Rei's manga, but we haven't seen her for weeks so..."
"I have no interest in reading your stupid, childish comics! We need to find Rei and pass our exams, neither of which you're going to do like this."
"I'm sorry Ami-chan... I thought you might like a break or something since you seemed so stressed, but I'm sure Mako-chan could help us whip up some cookies or a cake -"
"How can you POSSIBLY think of your stomach when we have a traitorous demon to find and research to do? Stop being so selfish for once in your life and pay attention!"
"Whoa, Ami-chan," Minako interjected to keep the peace. "Usagi was just trying to make this easier on all of us with a bit of distraction."
"A distraction? Minako-chan, I thought you would be the first one to 'Champion the Cause' for finding that low-life."
"She is NOT a low-life."
"Ami-chan, please stop? We're all on edge and we all want to help. I think Usagi might be right and we could use a break. I'll go make some brownies and a nice pie for us while you all watch the news for any signs of her. Does that sound alright?"
She sighed deeply. "Mako-chan, I would love that, but I simply don't think we have time."
"Well then how about you keep studying up on demons, Usagi and I will cook, and Minako can check over the news to look for any indications of where she might be? There is no need to be at one another's throats."
"Thank kami your girlfriend is here to protect you from your big, bad, commander."
"She's not my -"
"Shut your mouth, Aino," Makoto growled.
"Just because she's smart doesn't mean she can insult us all and call her a low-life."
"Half low-life and half coward. I don't need my books to call a spade a spade."
Something heavy thumped the desk.
"She is no coward," Minako breathed dangerously.
"Even after she gave up in the Silver Millenium? She runs away every time."
"She SACRIFICES herself every time!"
"I'd say that too if I was sleeping with her," Ami snorted.
This time, something shattered as it smashed a wall.
"You're just jealous I've got someone to care about and you're going to stay an emotional hermit forever."
"Oh, really? I don't see this 'someone' anywhere."
The sounds of people rising to their feet could be heard as Usagi offered a tentative "…guys?"
"You don't know anything about anyone. It's so appropriate that your element is ice," she snarled, "because you're just as cold and unloving."
"Careful, Minako. She's your fellow senshi and she's done a lot for you," Makoto cautioned with real threat in her words.
"Then maybe you should do something for her - stop tip-toeing around and just fuck each other already!"
In the pregnant pause that followed, Rei's curiosity finally got the better of her and she chanced to peek up over the windowsill. She scanned the tense scene in front of her. Minako's profile was nearest to her while opposite stood Ami, Makoto to her right with a steadying hand on the bluenette's shoulders. All three looked a little worse for the wear than last she saw them, and not only due to the bags under their eyes; their states of dress was disheveled. Makoto looked like she hadn't showered in a week while Minako's clothes were wrinkled and awry. Aside from these superficial differences, Rei had never seen such raw hurt and burning hatred directed at one another. She was almost in awe.
Makoto opened her mouth as if trying to defend or attack, but her brain must have jammed. Ami, on the other hand, seemed to have no usage for words. She ripped herself away from Mako's hand and shot Minako the most disgusted, incredulous look she could muster before abandoning her her belongings and stalking out the door.
The reverberations as it shut echoed with sad finality. Makoto's face twisted in rage. With two steps toward the blonde, she reeled and arm back and slapped her heartily across the face. Minako numbly brought her hand to her new split lip before slowly turning back to face her aggressor. When their eyes met again, their faces both fell a bit in shame and disbelief. The brunette found her words first.
"Why?" she breathed. "Why would you say that? You know how sensitive and confused she is."
"I - I don't know. I was trying to speed things up, I guess so you could -"
She cut her off. "Bullshit. You were trying to make her feel so naïve. You wanted to hurt her the way you've been hurt. Guess what, Minako-chan? You won. She's confused, and angry, and now I have to go clean up the mess you made by embarrassing her, if she will even speak to me. Thank you for running another person out of your lonely life."
"Me? I didn't run anyone out! I admit, it was a knee-jerk reaction and a bit harsh, but I drew the truth to the surface."
"A bit? This is Mizuno Ami we are talking about! You can't just throw things like that at her. And what truth did you give to Rei, exactly, that made her run? Kami knows you didn't tell her the truth about the Final Battle since we haven't found her with a rope around her neck or her body at the foot of a building. Yet, at least."
"NEVER say that! She would never… she couldn't… she wouldn't understand. We barely understand it ourselves."
"Then what exactly did you tell her? About your stupid epic love affair in another lifetime? How the two of you embarrassed yourselves in every castle because you couldn't keep your hands off of one another? That's embarrassing enough to make me run."
Minako stood silently staring at the ground as Mako's temper rose.
"Guys…?" Usagi whispered from her frozen position at the table.
"Or how about how I had my own wife, and was happy, and in love, all before she stole it away from me? I bet you didn't mention a damn thing about the thousands she slaughtered -"
"Guys!"
"- and maimed,"
"She didn't!"
"GUYS!"
Minako and Makoto's faces shot toward the forgotten blonde in the corner.
"WHAT?" they yelled in unison.
"She's here," the girl pointed meekly to the window.
Rei ducked immediately, but not quickly enough. Their sounds of scrambling feet sent her launching over the railing and in a dead sprint to the orchard. Without looking back, she took the trails only she knew to bob and weave away from the other girls. They couldn't catch her in her own backyard.
She hadn't counted on henshin sticks.
With an almighty slam, she was barreled to the ground with a mouthful of soft soil. Rei managed to roll backwards onto her captor and deliver a solid elbow to the offending nose before trying to slip out of the iron grip. The girl beneath her hardly seemed to register the blow, instead wrapping her left leg over Rei's and solidly flipping them back. The next thing Rei knew, her arms were behind her back and there was a heavy weight on top of her. Struggle as she might, she was good and pinned.
"Been practicing while you were gone, Mars? Nice hit you got in," the girl smirked, triumphant.
"I see you haven't. Transforming just to catch me? I thought you were more street savvy, Jupiter."
The approaching feet announced the arrival of the others. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see a pair of baby blue, and a more tentative pair of white sneakers walk around and stop directly in front of her. Rei was afraid to look up and find out just how much they hated her. A traitor. She had been a traitor. She had killed and lied and who know who all she had murdered. She wanted to know what she had done, just as much as she never wanted to find out. Would they kill her? Would she be put on trial for past crimes? It only seemed fair, even if she couldn't remember.
But why couldn't she remember doing anything traitorous? When they all had been at the Lunar Palace, they had seen the end, hadn't they? The same, graphic end to their people, themselves, and their princess. Had she been a lying, two-timing worm who used her position as a senshi to feign loyalty to help Metallia? Bile suddenly rose to Rei's dirt-ridden mouth.
"Well, Rei-chan," Usagi began, "do you have anything to say for yourself?"
The girl in the mud beneath her closed her eyes and drew in a breath. As bravely as she could, she asked "Am I going to have to stand trial, or is it automatic death?" When she was met with no answer, she continued. "I ask only for the honor of seppuku to atone for my crimes or I ask that Makoto-san deliver the most painful execution you can devise, my princess. I would like to preserve some of my family's dignity."
She waited, solemn and still, for her punishment to be decided. What she did not expect was for the princess to start giggling.
"Why in the world would I want you dead?" Usagi chortled. "If you were dead, I wouldn't get these ridiculous over-dramatic pronouncements to entertain me! Are you nuts?"
"No," Minako sighed, "she's just an idiot. A very blind and protective idiot."
Makoto released Rei's arms and leapt off of her as if she had been burned. Surprised by her reaction, she rolled to look up at her former captor in concern. "Rei-chan, you - you think I could kill you? Or -or torture you?" Her breath hitched in her mouth. "I - I mean I know that I'm… intimidating, but I can't - I wasn't able to hurt you even when -"
Minako had pulled her tall friend into a protective embrace and was holding her while her counterpart's arms hung slack at her sides.
"It's ok, Mako-chan. You will never have to, I swear it. I swear." The blonde continued her soothing mantra to the horrified girl in her arms.
"I thought I did once. I thought I killed a senshi," her voice began to rise in panic, "I thought I murdered my own and I - thank god it wasn't me. I couldn't live with the guilt. I couldn't kill a - a - a friend and live -"
"You're ok. Don't think about it, alright? Go find Ami, do you hear me? Ami. Focus on finding Ami. She's here, and alive, and she needs her best friend."
"Right," Makoto said, shakily, "I'll go track down Ami. She needs me."
"Yes, she does. I'll take care of this. Now, go."
The Amazon walked back toward the shrine as if she had seen a ghost. Before she reached the trail, Minako called out to her once more.
"And Mako-chan? I'm sorry for everything I said. You're right about all of it. And please, tell Ami how sorry I am too? I was wrong to yell at or meddle with either of your affairs."
With a curt nod, the ponytail disappeared into the grove. Now, it was only a confused odango, a tired-looking commander, and bewildered miko with a face caked in dirt still on the ground.
Minako observed both of her companions before sighing and bringing a hand to her temple. She wanted nothing to do with this mess right now, but for once she had that stupid psychic in front of her where she could explain, question her, and protect her. She should feel relieved. Mina was far from it.
"Usagi-chan," she began, "you have every right to stay and help me out, but I'm not sure you'd be up for a graphic retelling of things in the past. Would you like to stay here with the infuriating idiot, or would you rather go spy on Ami and Makoto?"
The girl mulled it over. "I've wanted to ask Rei so many questions and I want to be sure that she's really ok…"
"I'm fine dumpling head," she said as she arranged herself into a more dignified position. "The outers have been looking out for me while I took some time to clear my head. Don't worry, I'm still 'grumpy Rei-chan'. Go ahead and spy on the lovebirds."
"You can even borrow whatever ecchi manga Rei-chan has around in her closet. Right, Rei?"
She scowled at her commander before raising an eyebrow at her princess, who turned a very bright pink.
"I'll uh - go make sure - erm - that Ami's ok," she sputtered before slowly backing away from the pair.
They both watched their princess retreat in silence. While displeased with her situation, Rei took comfort in the fact that she only had a single senshi to escape from. Ever so slowly, she tucked her feet underneath her to gain traction when she made a break for it. Her commander still wasn't looking her way when she placed her hands lightly on the earth behind her so as to launch herself upward. Her superior seemed to have turned to stone. That's when she made a break for it.
As soon as she had thrown herself halfway to her feet, the cold metal of the Venus love-me-chain was wrapped securely around her wrists and she was yanked back to the ground. Catching her breath from the shock, a quick glance showed that the other girl still hadn't moved or looked away from the path, but stood still and stoic. Staring at her proud face for what seemed an age, Rei saw a small, single tear forming. She watched it trickle from the outside of her right eye, over her pale cheek, and down the perfect contour of her chin before hesitating and falling to her feet.
"You left."
Rei could barely hear it above the light breeze and rustle of leaves, but she couldn't deny the words.
"Yes."
"You ran away."
"Yes."
"You ran away from… me."
"I… yes."
"To protect me."
"..."
"As if I were a child. As if I didn't know the risks. As if my life means more than yours."
"Always."
At this, the blonde started. She glanced over toward the girl kneeling a few yards away, turning to face her.
Face cast downward, Rei waited as Minako approached and sank to one knee directly in front of her. A bit more roughly than necessary, she grabbed the miko's chin and lifted it so her eyes were met by the hard iron blue glaring back. They pierced her violet ones relentlessly, but she couldn't find the answers she sought. Finally relenting, she sat back on her heels.
"What do you remember?
She was unsure how exactly to respond. Everything? Nothing? That she wasn't even sure what was real anymore after what she had heard? At a loss, she started with the basics.
"I remember us, mostly," she began truthfully. "I remember that you were the center of Mars' life. You challenged me, and fought me, and made me realize I had a soul. The others were great friends and beloved companions, but you were so much more. Venus taught Mars there was more than war and being a good soldier; there was also fun, and trust, and…" she faltered, "Mars would have gladly and easily killed a thousand armies to protect Venus from a papercut. We were together for years before - before my parents and people died. After that, everything went to hell and making battle plans with Mercury was depressing. Beryl utterly destroyed us in the final battle, picking us off one by one. Other than that, I remember a few more - er - intimate things, but nothing out of the ordinary."
Rei was surprised when Minako's face paled and her eyes shifted to a dark sadness.
"Not exactly, Mars."
Rei stiffened at the formality. Maybe she was wrong about everything. Had she just embarrassed herself admitting a relationship when it had been a lie or a one-sided understanding? Maybe back then, she had simply created a fantasy life with Venus because her sentiments weren't returned. Her heart dropped to her stomach in panic. Was it too late to try for that seppuku?
"I - I - I'm so sorry Venus," she fumbled to apologize, "I didn't mean to imply that I meant as much to you or that this was even all that had happened and I'm so sorry if I was wrong about our relationship because those are the memories I have and maybe they were tampered with or altered because I thought I was seeing some parallels in this life so I assumed they were real and that's not to say I thought anything was going on with us now but you can just kill me right here before I die of embarrassment," she finished rambling.
Minako cocked an eyebrow and looked at her like she was a raving madwoman. "Rei, your memories seem to have been tampered with," violet eyes shot open in fear, "but not those memories. Kami, you think I would jump you in the fire room without those blasted memories driving me crazy? I would have given you YEARS at the pace you were allowing things, but I could tell you were finally having some flashbacks too."
At the mention of the fire room incident, Rei curled into a ball. At least she didn't think her face could get any warmer. "I - well - it's not like -"
She gave up trying to address that particular issue.
"Where have my memories been tampered?"
Minako sighed. "Beryl. I think most of the final battle might have been a bit… different than you remember."
"I thought we all had the same vision together on the moon?"
"Yes, well," the blonde hesitated, "after Galaxia, we all started to get our true memories back. All except for you, that is. I think the protective magic had finally run its course after such a defeat. Your memories however, seem more permanently altered."
Rei looked at her commander with hard resolve. "Because I'm a traitor."
Shuffling uncomfortably, she looked away as she replied. "Not you, per say. I don't think. We don't think. It was all so complicated and sudden, but it wasn't at the same time… You weren't you. You weren't Mars. I think Queen Serenity knew this and wanted to give you another chance and live free of guilt in the next life. You were always her favorite and you always would be the princess's best chance for survival. She needed you to stand duty without running away for fear of hurting us." Mina let out a resigned sigh. "Guess she didn't take his return into account. Or account for your stupidity."
"My stupidity, huh? You act as if I abandoned my duty to run away like a coward."
"Because you are a coward."
Rei would never admit how deeply her words stung. Anger and hurt flooded, hot, through her chest. It immediately triggered a complete emotional detachment.
"I was doing what was right. You don't know how he feels. I'm not foolish enough to expose any of you to that danger." Her words sounded cold, even to her.
Minako still wouldn't look at her.
"Show me."
She wasn't sure she had heard correctly. "Er - what?"
"Show me. Show me how he feels."
Now Rei was completely lost. "Makoto didn't slap you THAT hard, did she? I'm not going to just introduce you to him like 'Hey, Itami-san! This is Minako - would you mind invading her mind real quick and showing her painful visions and making her think her soul is being devoured?' You've completely lost it!"
The blonde turned back to face her, full of resolve.
"No. Let me meditate with you. Take me with you inside your mind and visions."
"Mina," she said, exasperated, "it's not like I do that every day! In fact, I've never done it! I've only ever theorized I could!"
"You can. I know how intense you can become when you completely focus Mars' power. Maybe you don't realize it, but your strength is frightening. Even you can be..."
Rei shot her a look, daring her to continue.
"Eh - can be... Unpredictably powerful?"
Knowing what she had meant to say, Rei rolled her eyes. This entire proposition was dangerous. If she made a single misstep...
"No."
"This isn't up for debate, Rei."
"No."
"I'm ordering you, as your -"
"Do you have any clue what could happen?"
She didn't answer. She couldn't know.
"You might be lost," she whispered. "If you follow me and can't find the exact way back, you could be lost forever without anyone to guide you. You might end up a shell, lost in the fire or lost in my mind."
Mina chuckled. "At least I'd be lost in a place where I can get the answers I want." She winked and waited for a reply. None came. The miko was too worried to indulge in the joke, wearing only a devastated visage. The vision of Minako with vacant eyes, seeing and yet not. Her best friend, less animated than a comic. The thought made her shiver. She could never allow such a reality for anyone.
"I can't risk losing you. If you're gone, I don't think I can come back," she admitted.
"No need to get so melodramatic. You'd make it without me, I'm sure. Your heart will go on, just like that Titanic chick." Minako was teasing her, but she couldn't understand the gravity of it all.
"Everyone needs an earthly tether to bring them back. I'm not so sure that my tie to Usagi is strong enough to bring us both back."
"Wait," she began, a mischievous glint in her eye, "are you implying that I'm your 'earthly tether'? As in your 'reason for living'? I'm honored, O Aloof One."
Rei's cheeks burned again with a heat that was becoming too familiar for her taste. "Don't be foolish or vain. I never said my pull to you was stronger."
"But you admit there is a pull."
The miko finally snapped. "Is this all one big joke to you? My powers and their consequences? My guilt and my feelings? It's nothing to laugh at - this is scary shit and you're flirting with me! And yet you wonder why I didn't come running to confide in you."
"Yes, I do wonder," Mina said with a slight scowl and the first hint of irritation. "I've always been there for you throughout the years no matter how hot-headed, or stubborn, or reckless you've been. And has your ego-centric mind considered that maybe my defense mechanism might be making light of a dangerous situation? I'm not all 'doom and gloom', but that doesn't make me any less scared."
A twinge of guilt caused a slight flash in her eyes, but she covered it with a huff of air and crossed arms.
"Not to mention that you haven't asked what you could get in return."
Now it was Rei's turn to look at the idol as if she were the raving madwoman. "Asking what subjecting you to torture and possibly ending your life could benefit me? Forgive me for not seeing a shiny silver lining."
Her reply was more than unexpected.
"We can explore our memories of the final battle together. We can unlock yours and figure out what happened for sure. Don't worry - we will both be tortured. Trust me. Either way, it's our best chance of understanding and protecting everyone."
It might be true. If she could manage to connect their consciences in front of the fire and then summon a vision. She would have to use her energy as a bridge for Minako to enter the nothingness that precedes a vision. There would have to be absolute trust. Minako's spiritual being would need to cling tightly to her own and not panic while falling in the vacuum. Therein lay the problem.
"We can't," she realized a bit sadly.
"Yes we can! I know you can channel -"
"It doesn't matter," she cut her off. "We don't trust one another. We would lose each other in the void."
Minako looked genuinely hurt. "What do you mean we don't trust one another? We trust each other each and every day that we protect the princess. Sure, you've been missing for a few weeks, but we aren't dumb enough to think that you weren't being an overbearing mother just out of sight. I trusted that if Usagi decided to go, unannounced, on a moonlit walk alone at 3 am on a Tuesday, you'd somehow be there to take a stray bullet for her. I trust you more than I trust myself. Do you really think so little of me?"
"Mina, you trust your second-in-command. You don't trust me - Hino Rei. I'll be the first to say that I'll follow you, my leader, to the ends of the earth and back. Your decisions protect the princess because you can keep such a level head when called upon. But all of that? To me, that is Venus. You are not Venus. You're that annoying pop star who loves milkshakes and tormenting me to death. You're my best friend, my mortal enemy, and a constant source of confusion. You used me when I was sick because you were tired of waiting for me to figure out my feelings on my own, you ripped me apart at the concert for trying to help, you defended me against Ami and Makoto, you called me a murderous traitor and coward, and now you're telling me about how much you trust me. So, no - I don't trust you."
Bright blue eyes hadn't left her for a moment while she spoke. As much as Rei hated to admit it, she wanted to sit here and let this girl explain all of her worries and fears away. She wanted to sink back into the comfortable banter they had always shared and pretend that nothing had changed. Both of them knew that there was no time for a therapy session.
"Look, I could hold your hand and sing 'Kumbaya' to re-establish our friendship, but some cheerful words won't make you acknowledge what you already know. I trust you with my whole heart, but only when you trust me back. And you know I never have and never would intentionally hurt you. Most of the answers you're looking for are hidden away in your memories. That's one of the reasons I want to take you back and show you, rather than try to make you believe what I'm not entirely sure of myself. Words can only convince you of so much. This is the most intertwined that our personal and senshi lives will ever be. If you can ever trust me personally, it should be now that our concerns surround senshi business."
It was true, Rei realized. It would take more than 5 minutes to accept, but she might be able to reach a point of trust close enough after an evening of meditation. She only needed enough resolve to get Minako in and out of the spirit realm since trust wasn't necessary to hold them there.
She hadn't yet told anyone, but she was consciously able to feel the presence of darkness lurking in the recesses of her mind. It was growing stronger every day. And it scared her. If it became too overwhelming, she might occasionally fall into the swirling mist. They needed answers right now. She needed to know if she was going to make the same mistakes as in her previous life, whatever those mistakes may have been. As uncertain as all of this was, there were a few things of which she was certain.
"Aright," she finally agreed, "but Usagi can't be there."
Minako nodded in vigorous agreement.
"And we're going to need Ami to monitor your vitals."
She briefly went rigid at the name.
"Er - yeah. I'll go talk to her about it. I'd rather if she didn't intentionally kill you. You should go talk to Makoto, though. She looked at me like I was the Ghost of Christmas Past when I spoke earlier."
"You sorta were," the blonde shrugged. "I feel like the sooner we get this over with, the better it will be.
"Agreed. Tomorrow night after Usagi heads to bed?"
"I'll send a message via communicator." Her commander rose to her feet before extending a hand to the miko and pulling her to her feet.
They stood together in the quiet glade as the sun set over the horizon. The purples, reds, and oranges it cast over the pair gave the illusion of being doused in a lazy fire. Staring at each other, Rei broke the peaceful silence first.
"So… are you and I…?"
"No, we aren't alright."
The pale face turned a brighter shade of white before a faint blush of shame made another appearance.
"But," she amended, "we will be. I'll find a way for you to make up for all of the ridiculous worrying and sleepless nights you caused everyone."
They nodded to one another again before Minako turned back to the shrine and Rei headed toward her mother's grave..
"And Rei?" Minako called back, "If you continue running away, I have no choice but to love-me-chain you up to my bed every day."
Flashing an evil grin, Mina began running back to the shrine, leaving the poor blushing fire senshi gaping and fighting off the parting visual she had been gifted. At least she would have some answers tomorrow.
