Chapter 8
Peyton hadn't stepped foot in his old bedroom since they were in high school and they would spend most of their time listening out for Karen while they did things that didn't qualify as studying. She's back for a reason that doesn't involve his hand slipping under the hem of her shirt.
When Lucas comes home from the hospital he'll be back living under the same roof as his mother, his doctor and Karen both agreed that it would be best if he lived with her at least for a month or two. Peyton agreed to go over to his apartment and back up a few boxes of his things and lug them back to Karen's.
Packing his stuff takes her an hour longer than she'd anticipated, especially since she spends so much time picking out her favorite t-shirts and running her fingers over the spines of his books. She takes extra care to pack everything he might need. His shampoo and toothbrush, his worn copy of Catcher in the Rye, and the raggedy old bear he's had since he was a kid that he thinks she doesn't know about. She loads it all into the back of her car and drives to Karen's with the windows down and her hand out the window just like he'd done a day before.
The two women spend an hour filling his old dresser drawers with clothes, and when Karen isn't looking she slips his old stuffed bear underneath his pillow. Karen leaves once the last box is unpacked, she has to pick him up from the hospital. When she's gone Peyton goes back out to her car and grabs a roll of paper from her trunk. She hangs the welcome home banner above his bedroom window.
Her stomach turns when she climbs down from the chair and she realizes for the first time that she's nervous about him coming home. Starting over with him in the hospital was different, because somewhere in the back of her mind she'd always hoped that he'd wake up one day and look in her face and remember all the times he'd kissed her and what her bare skin felt like beneath his fingertips. But when he's leaving the hospital and his memory is still gone she realizes that he'll never be the same and she's in love witha stranger.
She walks to the bathroom and splashes handful after handful of cold water onto her face until the feeling in her stomach subsides then she sits on his bed and waits for him to come home. Peyton doesn't realize she's fallen asleep until she hears Karen's car pull up into the driveway. She rubs the sleep from her eyes and goes out to meet them.
When Lucas meets eyes with her after he climbs out of the car he gives her a smile that could have calmed her earlier nerves. She helps him into the house while Karen grabs his small duffel from the trunk and follows them inside.
They all eat dinner together, Chinese takeout containers spread out over the coffee table. He sneaks glances at her over his kung pao, and when she catches him he just smiles and concentrates back on his dinner. Karen notices the pair's exchanges and it reminds her of when they were in high school and Peyton would stay for dinner. They'd grin and flirt across the table while Karen smiled to herself and sipped coffee.
After dinner he makes his way out to the chairs on the back porch and she helps Karen clean up before heading out back to join him. He's slouched down in one of the oversized chairs with his casted foot propped up on an overturned flowerpot. She sits in the empty chair next to him.
It's an unusually warm night for early September, the humidity hangs heavy in the air and her t-shirt has already started to cling to the curves of her skin. She watches the condensation gather on the outside of her glass of iced tea, it runs slowly down the glass and gathers in a puddle on the arm of her chair. They haven't been alone together since he kissed her in the loft.
She thinks it's silly that she's actually a little nervous around him now, it isn't like she hasn't kissed him a thousand times before. It feels like she's back in high school when they first started dating. Even though they'd been friends before they dated, they were still all nervous laughter after they'd kissed the first time.
He breaks the silence first. "I'm glad you've been with me through all of this Peyton. I don't know if I could have done this without you."
"You could have done it Lucas." She says trying to protest her significance.
"No Peyton, don't just brush this off. You being around for all of this, it made me want to get better, you gave me something to work for."
It's not that she doesn't know what to say to him, it's that she doesn't know how to say it without telling him that she loves him and she'd do anything for him. She figures that might freak him out a little, so she reaches out for his hand and intertwines her fingers with his. Before the accident Lucas would have realized the significance of a girl with enormous intimacy issues holding his hand, but he's after the accident Lucas now and he doesn't know she's saying she loves him without any words.
They stare out at the night sky filled with stars made invisible by the glaring streetlights and she's still holding onto his hand and tracing the lines on his palm with the gentle touch of her fingertips.
An hour slips away from them while they're out on the porch and when she catches Lucas trying to stifle a yawn she climbs slowly out of her chair and goes to help him out of his. She helps him up with a grip on both of her arms and when he comes out of the chair his face is suddenly very close to hers.
They both laugh for a minute then he leans forward and kisses her again, this time he's a little bolder and she's not expecting the old Lucas. So the kiss is light and easy and when she giggles into his mouth he pulls back and tucks a loose curl behind her ear.
"I like kissing you" He whispers against her lips. She just laughs and kisses him quick on the corner of his mouth. "Go out with me."
"I'd love to." She breathes out against his stubble-covered cheek.
He pulls away, surprised at how easily she had agreed. She doesn't say anything because she can't keep her lips from his so she falls back onto them and they stay that way until their lips are raw and she can feel his heart racing under her fingertips. Then she helps him into his room and turns around while he changes into his flannel pajama bottoms and helps him get settled into his bed even though he really doesn't need her help all that much anymore.
She tells him goodnight and is about to head out when he catches her wrist and asks her to stay when she twirls back around. He pulls back the comforter next to him in a silent invitation and she hesitates.
In her head she thinks that this is moving too fast, that he's moving too fast. That's how things always were between them. He would push and she would recoil. But when she almost lost him she swore it wouldn't be like that anymore. So she slides in next to him and falls asleep to the gentle rhythm of his breathing.
Karen finds them the next morning, Peyton's curled around his side with her head resting on his chest. She smiles at the sight of them together then trudges back towards the kitchen to start breakfast. It'll be the best night of sleep Peyton's had since the accident.
