Love's Journey

Originally by The Muse of Apollo, now carried forward from Chapter 8 by Castlefan6 with permission from author

Authors Note This is set before the end of season 2, but after Tick Tick/Boom. Chapters 1-7 are the work of the original author The Muse of Apollo, following chapters are work of Castlefan6

I don't own Castle, I only use the characters for amusement purposes only

Thanks to The Muse of Apollo for allowing me to pick this story up where he left off, I hope I do it justice. Here goes this is my first FanFic so be kind.

Disclaimer: Credit for first seven chapters and theme for this goes to The Muse of Apollo I don't own Castle, and all characters are the property of Andrew Marlow except for those The Muse of Apollo and I created

Chapter 8

oooXXXooo

July 15th 2010

Previously

"Lanie…"

"No Kate. You need to stop and think about what you really, really want. If that's Castle you need to get him back before that boy moves on. If you're happy floating from one meaningless relationship to the next, then so be it. But you don't have a lot of time to decide. There will come a time, and likely very soon, that Castle won't be there waiting for you."

Kate was silent for several minutes as she thought about it. In the end, though, she was just as confused as she had been. She didn't know what she wanted. Was what she felt for Castle true love? And why did the thought of that scare the living daylights out of her?

As she made her way back to the homicide department after fleeing the morgue, Kate settled on doing nothing for now. She had to think about what she really felt, and what she wanted to do about it.

—END FLASHBACK—

It had been a few days since that conversation, and Kate wasn't any closer to figuring out what she wanted. Maybe it was best just to let Castle go, for good. If they got together for real, she would only hurt him even more than what she already had.

She was brought out of her thoughts by her phone ringing.

"Beckett."

"Detective, there is a Martha Rodgers here to speak with you. Would you like me to send her up?" the voice of the desk sergeant asked.

"Yes, please send her up Sergeant", as a wave of fear washes over Kate's body. Why is Martha here, is Rick OK? Did something happen to Alexis? She is about to find out as the elevator dings, and off walks the Red Head commanding all the attention a Broadway Actress would. She spots Kate and makes her way down the aisle to her desk, waving politely to Espo and Ryan. Kate stands to greet her and is surprised as Martha embraces her and says "Katherine, it so wonderful to see you, we have missed you so much at the loft, it just doesn't feel the same without you stopping by like you were doing. I don't know what Richard did, but I wanted to speak to you in private for a few minutes if you have time"

"Of course, Martha, can I get you anything to drink, coffee, water, tea" and leads the way to the conference room as Martha waves her head no to her offer of any drinks. Kate closes the door and takes a deep breath waiting for hurricane Martha to unleash her fury, but is surprised when Martha whispers "Darling, how are you doing really, no putting up the brave front for me, I can see you are about as happy as Richard is." Kate is taken back by the sincerity, and confession that Rick is faring about as well as she is, "Martha, you know I care about Rick, but I thought I had a chance at forever with someone who is more like me and I foolishly took the chance. It turns out, that the grass isn't as green once you get to that side and I realized I made a huge mistake, and in the process hurt Rick deeply, so deeply in fact he left the precinct and the work that I know he loves. I've tried to contact him and apologize over and over, but he hasn't taken or returned any of my calls or texts. I'm not sure if we could ever bridge our differences anyway, after all he has had two marriages that failed, and I am not sure if he could completely invest in a relationship given his history"

Martha has heard enough, and responds in a tone Kate has never heard come from this Motherly figure, "Katherine, have you bothered to ASK Richard about those relationships or are you the trained detective solving murders content to take the Page Six as fact? I am truly disappointed in you, and although this is not my story to tell, I will say this, Check Public Record for court proceedings and see who the injured party was. I think you will be surprised by what you find, but as I said that's not my story to tell, it is Richard's and if you took the time to ask I am sure you would be in a different place now." Kate is in shock and embarrassed as she thinks, My God, she is right, I didn't even ask, I just jumped to the conclusion based on his Playboy persona, what kind of person am I, what kind of Detective assumes?

Martha clearly has more to say but she bites her tongue and says, "That is one issue Katherine, but it's not what I came to see you about, Richard is working on a special project now that he has sworn everyone to secrecy, so I won't break his trust by divulging any information I may have. I will say this, I know my son, even though he is adopted I could not love him more than if I gave birth to him." Kate's mouth flies open, and a gasp is uttered as she mumbled the word "Adopted?" Martha blushes and mouths "Oh My you really don't know my son at all do you? I thought he would have shared this information with the woman he has listed as his Emergency Contact and listed as Alexis's Guardian should something happen to him. I thought you cared enough about him to at least find out as he says, "the story", he knows about every detail about you from your favorite color to the how you take your coffee and you don't know my son at all."

Martha is visibly upset, and Kate tries to settle the older lady down with "Martha, you know I care about Rick" which earns her a glare and hrmpp from her as Martha interrupts, so out of character for this polite lady who was a mother figure to her, "Apparently your definition of caring differs from mine, but keep telling yourself that and even you will believe it someday." "I was going to discuss with you how you thought I could help to soothe the damaged feelings between the two of you, but based on this conversation, I think my son has taken the high road far too long.

Katherine, it is no secret that Richard loves you, the only one blind to it is you and I will tell you this, I know my son, and even as kind and generous as he is, he does have limits. I think you made have already exceeded those, again not my decision but if I were in his shoes you would be a bad memory I would be trying to forget, and perhaps that is just what he is doing with this project." Kate feels faint and the room is spinning, she can't believe this got so screwed up so quickly. Martha's words have hit and hit hard. She barely notices as Hurricane Martha gathers herself and starts toward the door. She regroups just in time to reply "Thanks Martha, I have a lot to work on, but I promise you I do CARE about your son, and I am so sorry for all the pain I put him, and your family through. May I come by tonight to express this in a better environment?" Kate fully expects the open and warm invitation she has always received from Martha and feels like another slap when Martha replies "I think it is best if you clear all visits to our home through Richard, he is my concern now and after this conversation I am more worried than ever about his feelings. Anyway, aren't you seeing a Detective here Katherine, and isn't that why you stopped coming by the loft? Richard mentioned something about you finding True Love with another Detective" Kate feels her face flush with embarrassment, and a tear threaten to fall when she hears out loud what Castle had been living, "Martha I won't lie it was a Detective here, but that is over and now I know just how much I care about Rick and I promise you I won't hurt him, not again." Martha has a sad look in her eyes as she replies "Sometimes there are no fixes to our actions and we are forced to live with our decisions, that will be between you and Richard. I am sorry Katherine, truly sorry but my son is the one I am worried about now, even more that I know it wasn't just rejection, but truly heartbreak that forced him to take an alternate course, you need to straighten this out with Richard before you are welcome at our home"

Martha sadly opens the door leaving a stunned Kate standing in the Conference Room, and waves ever so slightly to Espo and Ryan in the Bull Pen. Kate lowers her head and lets a tear fall as she begins to realize just what a fool she has been, this can be fixed, it has to be, Castle wouldn't leave her, they had an understanding, but even she doesn't believe it as the events of the last several weeks flash in front of her, God she has screwed up the best thing she ever had and didn't even realize it, she walks to the Ladies Room and lets the tears fall,

TBC