dongz: hiya! I have an important announcement before we start.
jjle: sempai wont be able to fit all fan letters in this chappie. And as for SushiFork-san's request, sempai is still finding a way to make a hippie version out of all of the akatsuki members so please be patient.
dongz: for now, I'll be putting down, at the very least, 5 fan letters. The others will be on the next chappie, and I think the request might be granted on the next chappie too, if im able to create the hippie version as fast as I could. Whew! –rubs forehead- I need a break from updating day by day, typing every chappie for 3 hours or so. –collapses to a chair-
BACK TO THE USUAL PROGRAMMING...
dongz: hiya! We're back!
jjle: and the best part is, -plays 'wake up call by maroon 5 really loud- this song is dedicated to saso-kun!
dongz: yay! I love that song! –notices sasori's darkened look- oi, don't you like it?? Oiii, are you listening?!
Sasori: -darkly- are you trying to rub it in??
dongz: -sweatdrop-
jjle: so anyway, sempai doesn't own naruto or any characters here. Now for the letters!! –reads first letter-
from: Crazy Denial
Random question :) Deidara, why do you make your "art" with your clay-eating hands instead of using another part of your body?
Deidara: -also in a bad mood- -in a low tone- can someone please stop that song , hm?! Its killing me, hm...
jjle: -sighs- fine. –turns off his radio- so... answer the question.
Deidara: -in a low tone- because its my kekkei genkai and that it's the only parts of my body that can create art, hm...
Sasori: -sternly- you call those explosions 'art'?!
Pein: -in his thoughts- oh no. here we go again. I better act fast! –in a hasty tone- um... how about you 2 argue later, since we have lots of things to do around here.
sasori: -shots a venomous glare at deidara-
everyone: -sweatdrop-
jjle: -eating cookies- heres the next letter! And its mine too! n.n –reads next letter-
from: jjle-danna
I have a question.
1st: (For everyone) How old are you?
2nd: Has anyone ever gotten a papercut from Konan?
Kisame: -still teary-eyed from the death of his mom and sister- im 31. –sniffle- (found his age in narutopedia)
Deidara: 19, hm.
dongz: O,o youre 19?? Yay! –runs around in joy- I WON THE BET!! I KNEW IT! DEI-SEMPAI IS 19 YEARS OLD! (found his age in narutopedia)
akatsuki: -sweatdrop-
jjle: -very sad- so does this mean he died young??
dongz: -is proud- yes, danna! And since I won this bet, you owe me 5 bucks!
jjle: -sighs in disappointment- fine. –hands 5 bucks-
dongz: -ish happy- yay!
Akatsuki: -sweatdrop-
Itachi: -sweatdrop- ok, this is getting weird lately. And I have to say, Im 20.
dongz: -le gasp-
jjle: -ish happy- ha! I won the bet this time! Now gimme back my 5 bucks! –grabs the money he just gave to dongz-
dongz: oh cmon! And I just won a bet! T.T
pein: so you 2 have been betting on the ages my underlings died??
jjle: -ish happy- yep.
Pein: -sighs in relief- luckily I didn't told anyone about the ages of kakuzu, my konan-chan, tobi-sama, and mine.
dongz: -rubs chin thoughtfully- so no wonder I cant find your ages in wikipedia and narutopedia...
jjle: yeah, because pein didn't told anyone about their ages, no one was able to write their ages in those sites.
White-half Zetsu: we're 56.
dongz: damn. You're a grandpa!
Black-half zetsu: don't call us grandpa... –vein pops out-
jjle: who cares... now, since sasori-sempai is the only one who hasn't told his age, -points his index finger at dongz in a threatening way- ... WE'LL BE HAVING A LAST-MINUTE BET!
Akatsuki: -sweatdrop-
dongz: -calmly- I bet he's 35.
jjle: I bet he's 40. loser pays 10 bucks.
dongz: sounds fair to me...
dongz, jjle: -to sasori- NOW TELL US YOUR AGE!
Sasori: -bored- my age is...
jjle: -hyper- yes??
Sasori: -bored- is...
jjle: -hyper- yes??
Sasori: -bored- is...
jjle: yes?!
dongz: -hits jjle with a bag- danna, youre acting like Plankton again. now, spit it out, sasori-sempai because your making danna hyper.
Sasori: -bored- my age is none of your business. Period.
jjle: -his world broke down- WHAT?!
sasori: -bored- you heard me.
jjle: -goes to a corner- T.T
dongz: -sweatdrop- danna, youre acting like an undignified person again.
jjle: -goes back to his chair- im not undignified! Now, please answer my other question. –reads the letter to refresh their memories-
pein: all of us gotten a papercut from konan.
Konan: -irritated- its because you people and freaks are pissing me off.
jjle: -curious- why are they pissing you off, konan-sama?
Konan: -sighs- you don't wanna know...
jjle: -in his thoughts- I think its best if I don't want to know at all... –reads the next letter-
from: 9shadowcat9
Oro go die in the most slow and painful ways known to man... YOU KILLED THE 5TH HOKAGE! And Pein? I posten your bases location to Kohana and Suna. Sasori, forgive Deidara. Tobi? Grow up, you're supposed to be a villan for Pete's sake. And Konan, next time the boys are tortured join them, it's not all that fair to be honest. And Akatsuki? #Gives them life time supply of chocolate, medical supplies and sets rabid squirells,hamsters and all things evil on Oro and Sasuke.# DIE SNAKY!
Sasuke: O.o –runs out of the studio-
Tobi: thanks for the chocolates and medical supplies! n.n
Pein: great. We're doomed! T;.;T
Orochimaru: -puzzled- I didn't killed tsunade! The only kage that I've killed is the 4th kazekage. The 3rd hokage killed himself. And as for me dying in the most slow and painful ways known to man, I cant die because im IMMORTAL! –suddenly got crushed under a stage light- ow! Saso-kun, -puppy eyes- ... please help me. –then got bitten by the evil stuff set on him- AAAAHHHH!! HELP ME, SASO-KUN!!
Sasori: -ignores oro's cries of help- no, I don't want to forgive that blonde little cheater. Instead, I'll get out of the picture. Anyway, -glances at itachi and a teary-eyed deidara- they look better together...
dongz: -le gasp-
jjle: -shocked- sasori-san! How could you say that! Itachi is nothing but a blind weasel!
Itachi: -vein pops out-
dongz: -thoughtfully- but I do prefer itachi's bloodline limit than deidara's... and sasori does have a point. I mean look at them! –points at deidara and itachi- ... hot guys with long, perfect hair. They make a PERFECT COMBINATION...
jjle: -shocked- sempai! Are you telling me you prefer itadei now?!
dongz: -sweatdrop- that's not what I meant, danna. I meant is that sasori-san does have a point pairing up 'tachi-san and dei-sempai.
jjle: -getting angry- see! You like itadei!
dongz: -sweatdrop- danna, I do NOT like itadei!
jjle: -getting angrier- don't deny it, sempai!
dongz: -sighs- -holds up jjle's unlimited supply of cookies- danna, be a good boy.
jjle: -all Anger disappeared at the sight of his cookies- JEYNALD IS A GOOD BOY! –grabs cookies then munches on them happily-
dongz: good. Now please respond to the other messages of shadowcat-san.
Tobi: I don't want to grow up because tobi is a good boy! and zetsu-san said that if I became a villain then im a good boy! tobi is a good boy! n.n
Everyone: -sweatdrop-
Konan: I don't want to. Besides, Amaterasu-chan said that 'all boys except deidara' are to be tortured. So that means since im a girl I don't have to come with them. Unless of course you persuaded amaterasu-chan to force me to join them.
dongz: finally! Now time for the next fan letter. –reads next letter-
from: Zozo.x
yes hehe
well itachi do you feel down in the dumples as you never get naruto haha, lool cant catch one kid.
SasUKE: i still love you, but only if you love little naruto-kun
and erm pein why do you have so many piercings?
love everyone of you lots and lots
zoziee x
jjle: -teasing- haha! The legendary Uchiha Itachi cant catch a stupid blonde idiot!
Itachi: -embarassed- he was well protected!
dongz: -smirks- that doesn't count.
Itachi: T/.\T –goes to emo corner along with kisame whos still grieving for his mom and little sis-
dongz: -chuckles at the ridiculed uchiha-
jjle: -remembers something- hey wait, sasuke left the studio.
dongz: -sighs- i'll get him... -goes to the Ask the Naruto characters studio- -returns with sasuke-
sasuke: why am i in here?! nobody loves me here! T.T
jjle: -reassuring- dont worry, sasuke! someone sent us a good letter for you! -gives sasuke the letter-
sasuke: -reads letter then finishes it- please dont pronounce my name like that! im no uke! and i only love naruto as my friend.
jjle: -grins- friend, eh? you mean boyfriend?
sasuke: hell no!
hidan: -whispers to pein- if i am to fucking notice,that sasuke's name can spell 'uke-ass'.
pein: -realizes- oh yeah. youre right, hidan!
hidan: -smiles- hehehe...
sasuke: -greatly irritated- what were you talking about?!
hidan: -still smiling- non of your fucking business. now fuck off so we can continue.
sasuke: -greatly angered- dont tell me to fuck off!
jjle: -getting impatient- security!
-2 persons popped out from nowhere-
jjle: please drive them away, zabuza-san.
zabuza: -brandishes his sword- DIEEEE!! -goes after sasuke-
sasuke: O,o EEEEPPPP!! -runs out of the studio-
zabuza, haku: -runs after sasuke-
dongz: i really love our security. n.n
akatsuki: -sweatdrop-
jjle: now please answer the question. -reads the letter again-
pein: its because piercings are COOL!
everyone: -sweatdrop-
dongz: -sweatdrop- but not too much, pein-sama. its kinda freaky...
pein: -confused- but piercings are the latest trend this era, right?
everyone: -extra sweatdrop-
jjle: -sweatdrop- now for the next fan letter... -reads next fan letter-
from: YukiGakamo1
lol, i have a couple of questions
1) r all u guys gay or something? I mean, what straight man wears nail polish? seriously. Do you have, like, cute little slumber parties where you do each others nails, share secrets and do each others hair? (which would explain why Deidara's hair is SO like Ino's)
2) Do you guys take turns in cleaning the lair? who's job is who's? (just a random question, lol)
3) Itachi, which if ur fav ItachixOtherAkatsukiMember pairing!?
pein: -about to say something but got cut off by dongz-
dongz: wait, pein-sama! we have a special presentation for this letter.
jjle: -nods- yes. we have a special presentation for it. but first, let me call zabuza and haku. -goes out of the studio then returns with the 2- -to zabuza- its time...
zabuza: -nods then sings-
YEAH!!
they are on fire!
-fire animation appeared behind the male akatsuki members-
pein: -to his thoughts- wow! cheesy background animations.
zabuza: -still singing-
they have desires
but one is that way...
zabuza: -points to a tv that says 'gay'-
male akatsuki members: -sweatdrop-
one akatsuki boy is gay!
haku: -sings-
but we dont want to be mean
since now he's a QUEEN!
haku: -points at deidara who suddenly had a banner above saying 'queen'-
hidan: -teasingly- -to deidara- haha!
deidara: -vein pops out-
dont ask please!
which akatsuki boy is gay...
jjle: -sings-
tell me who!?
zabuza: -points to hidan-
aint saying that its hidan
hidan: O.o WTF?!
tell me who!?
haku: -points to kakuzu-
aint saying that its kakuzu
kakuzu: O,o WTH...
tell me who...
i never wanna here you say
which akatsuki boy is gay...
haku: -directs to itachi-
now i could see him
he's in women's clothes
-a bunch of dresses fell on itachi-
black-half zetsu: -smirks- nice one, itachi.
itachi: -glares-
white-half zetsu: -nervously- hey! dont bring me up to this!
but he dont need an IUD
YEAH!!
all male akatsuki members except deidara: -looks at deidara suspiciously-
deidara: :( WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, HM?!
he likes village people
everyone: -looks at zetsu-
black-half zetsu: -.-" WHAT?!
hes playing croquet
everyone: -looks at kisame-
kisame: -nervous- -in his thoughts- how did they knew?!
his dog is a PEKINGESE!
tobi: my dog is a pekingese! n.n
everyone except tobi: -sweatdrop-
he is on fire!
his back, perspires
wont say...
wont say...
wont say...
who's gay?!
male akatsuki members: -points at each other-
hes always saying
aint nothing but a butt-ache
aint nothing but a fruitcake
i never wanna hear you say
(i dont wanna hear you say)
which one of them is gay?
all male akatsuki members: -still pointing at each other-
tell me who?!
aint saying that that its zetsu
black-half zetsu: O,o WTF?!
tell me who?!
aint saying pein or sasori
tell me who
he's making up a souffle
which akatsuki boy is gay?
ok...
they're all GAY!
hidan: D: what the fuck was that?!
dongz: -coolly- dont worry, people. its just a background for the letter. it didnt really mean that your fave male akatsuki members are all gay.
jjle: -coolly- sempai is telling the truth. its just a background for the letter.
konan: my pein aint gay!
dongz: -coolly- dont worry, konan-san. we didnt mean it literally that all of them is gay. its just for fun! n.n
konan: oh. thanks for clearing it up for me.
jjle: your welcome. n.n now answer the questions!!
pein: well, the reason why we have to wear nail polish is that itachi forced me. -shivers- HE'S SCARY WITH THAT SHARINGAN OF HIS! and no, we dont have cute, girly little slumber parties...
dongz: -remembers something- but i remember deidara and itachi having a slumber party in itachi's room... and thats when sasori was away for a month...
itachi: O.o how did you know??
dongz: im also your neighbor! n.n also, danna is also your next door neighbor! danna's house is the one to your left while mine is the one to your right. my bedroom window views itachi's room while danna's bedroom window views deidara's room.
deidara: O,o so jeynald-san sees everything i did in my room, hm?!
jjle: -sweatdrop- er... i respect other people's private lives on a certain length.
deidara: -relieved- oh, hm...
pein: really?! but why cant i see you everytime i go out of our base?
dongz: -thinking- probably because we only come out during night to do some preparations for the next day and also to net all night... and going back to the slumber party thing, i think i saw dei and itachi do each other's nails and talk about some cheesy gossip they found in heavens knows where and thats when i saw them make out! i was like shockers when i saw it and i think i contacted danna... then i think we passed out for some unknown reason.
itachi: -mutters- i better put curtains in my windows...
jjle: -waves his hand impatiently- now lets get back to the letter. -reads the letter-
sasori: -darkly- aint it obvious he loves the itadei pairing! or you people didnt really fucking notice it?!
hidan: damn, puppetboy! youre really taking this fucking seriously. chill out, motherfucker!
sasori: you dont have the right to tell me to chill, fucking religious bastard! -lops off hidan's head-
hidan: -shocked- what the hell?! i just told you to fucking chill!
jjle: -shocked- damn! sasori is mentally deteriorating!
dongz: -sweatdrop- i know, danna... now, lets not disturb sasori-san if we all dont want to become part of his collection...
pein: -nods nervously- -reads the letter- all of my underlings take turns cleaning the lair except me and my konan-chan. but these past week, we didnt let sasori do anything since we noticed that he always go out and come back with a dead shinobi...
kisame: -sober- and i noticed that all of the dead bodies he brings home have black hair and has stress marks in their faces, just like itachi's! -shudders-
sasori: -shoots out a very venomous glare at everyone-
konan: -ran out- -calling back as she runs- RUN!! SASORI IS GONNA HAVE ANOTHER MERCILESS KILLING SPREE!!
everyone: -shrieks like little girls and runs out of the studio-
A FEW HOURS LATER IN JJLE'S HOUSE...
dongz: -nervous- o..ok... please send fan letters, reviews, etc.
jjle: -also nervous- -to dongz- s-sempai... do you think sasori's gonna kill deidara if he sees him??
-a bloodcurdling scream came from the akatsuki base-
dongz: -nervous- that sounds like dei!
BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE SEMPAI-DANNA SYSTEM. REMEMBER, SEMPAIS ARE AS EQUAL AS DANNAS!
BROUGHT TO YOU BY COOKIE PALACE. COOKIES ARE HEAVEN!
