Hello lovely people who review, and pretty people who read this. (if you are a guy then handsome and good looking) Flattery is a wonderful thing isn't it?
Disclaimer: I own a laptop now which I use to write this and read Manga...but that does not mean that I own Naruto, unfortunately
This chapter was hindered by the first week of school. Yes I said hindered not brought to you by. I almost didn't finish this chapter in time, but luckily for you readers I don't sleep much.
Do Snakes like Sammiches?
Right after the proctor dude said we passed everyone stupidly argued with him. In my opinion they should just take the win; you don't ask questions about why you won. Then some lady in a trench coat, trench coats are cool but I would have worn more clothes under it if it were me, threw a bomb at us. Well it wasn't really a bomb but a smoke bomb and then there was a large sign behind her and she told us where to go. Area 44 or something like that, I'll just follow Itachi. But on the way I am going to pick up the Sammiches that I left in the fridge. I have a feeling that I will need them.
"Where are you going?" Itachi asked me as I tried to sneak away while I was on the way to the next exam.
"I left my Sammiches in the fridge." I answer honesty.
"I'll get them." Kisame offered thinking about eating one on the way since they are that good, I know that's what he's thinking.
"Hurry." Itachi said causing me to be happy because of my Sammiches.
"Yay!" I say then hug Itachi since he allowed me food. "Sammiches!" I exclaim with delight.
"You are easily pleased." Itachi said to me as he hugged me back with a smirk, behind the mask of course, I just know he is smirking.
"One could say the same about you Mr. Smirking because of a hug." I say to annoy him. I also noticed that the redhead Gaara is glaring at Itachi so I decided to wave at him while still being hugged by Itachi. This caused him to blink at me and then glare harder at Itachi, I didn't even know there were levels of glaring. I guess you do learn something new everyday.
"You can stop with the hugging now." I inform Itachi noticing that many people are staring at us.
"Why?" Itachi asked not letting me go even though I was trying to escape from his arms. It was probably comical watching me try to escape but fail, I think Gaara's brother dude, the one with make-up, was openly laughing at me. What did I do to him? Oh yeah I forgot I bothered him before.
"Because we need to go to the site for the next exam." Ha, argue with that logic.
"Fine, let's go." Itachi said but instead of letting me go he decided to pick me up and carry me there. What is with his fascination with carrying me places? Why does Itachi always win? I want to win.
"Nice lady why is your teammate carrying you? Were you hurt?" Naruto asked as he saw Itachi and me enter the area where everyone was waiting.
"No Kit, he just likes to carry people." I answer while still being held by him.
"Hn." Itachi says probably glaring at them. Not very effective through the mask is it?
"You'll have to excuse him, his vocabulary is limited when he dose not like you." I say still being carried. You know I should just get used to it and get carried by people everywhere. The laziness would be overwhelming. I think the only things that would stop me would be: finding people who are willing to carry me 24/7 and the fact I would get fat and thus they would no longer be able to carry me at all.
"Why doesn't he like us nice lady?" Naruto asked me.
"An easier question would be who does he like." I answered thinking about how the amount must be very small.
"Dobe are you done talking to that crazy lady?" Sasuke asked trying to get Naruto away from Itachi and myself. Is he angry at me? I don't even remember being that crazy in front of him. How did he find out? Now my plan to seem sane is foiled. Failure! Oh well, they were going to figure it out eventually. I'm just surprised that he was the first to notice it.
"She's not crazy." Naruto yelled. Silly Naruto you are just in denial about my insanity. Poor boy, I should give him a Sammich. Where is Kisame.
"It, what's taking Kiss?" Wow, I just realized if our code names were listed with Itachi and Kisame listed first then me it would say: It Kiss Akira. Makes it sound like some inanimate object decided it needed to kiss me. For some reason that amused me, I'm not quite sure why.
"He will be here shortly." Itachi answered me gruffly-I think he was trying to disguise his voice, I wonder why? Oh yeah, the whole incognito thing would be blown if his brother recognized him. Man I feel stupid now.
"Good." I answer. I just realized that Itachi actually said more than me, wow.
"Here's your sandwiches." Kisame whispered to me during Anko's you might die speech.
"Sammich." I whisper back, no longer in Itachi's arms since he let me go when Kabuto kept staring at us knowingly, with this odd look on his face. I am not saying anything else because Anko is glaring at me. She should glare at Kisame since he was the one who started it and was the one who took too long to give me my Sammiches. Oh look Anko threw something and some dude gave it back, with his tongue. Wait tongue...that's nasty, does he even know where it's been. Tongue...long Tongue...Orochimaru!
Apparently Itachi and Kisame figured it out st the same time I did because Kisame decided to stand next to me and Itachi put his arm around me. Not just around my shoulders but he was standing behind me with his right arm going from my right shoulder to my left, very possessively. He is basically hugging me from behind. Orochimaru notices this response and smirks at us. Gaara is full out 'I will kill you' glaring at Itachi, it is really scary. I know that he is not glaring at me but I am fearing for my life right now since he is looking in my general direction.
The idiots, Itachi and Kisame, have decided to leave me alone once again. But their stupidity is amazingly high since they left me along in the stinking Forest of Death, not the Forest of Happy Thoughts or Pink Elephants, no of Death. Death! Then they expect me not to die? This is what they said when they left 'We are heading out to get scrolls stay here and don't die'. I see me dieing.
What am I supposed to do if I meet Orochimaru? What if I meet the red head? What if I meet basically anyone? I will be like, 'yeah I don't have a scroll but could you not kill me. Yeah I know that you and I are enemies but could you spare me, I'll give you a Sammich.' actually that might work. Now I have my plan of action if I am discovered without Itachi and Kisame.
Since I am not good at listening I am going to wonder around the Forest of Death. Brilliant plan on my part. Oh look a group of people behind a bush, maybe I should hide too.
"Who are you?" A boy with a dog asked me when I joined them in the bush.
"Akira." I whispered, "I don't have any scrolls by the way."
"Where are your teammates?"
"Getting scrolls, why are we hiding in this bush?" I ask just now noticing the red head and his siblings in front of some rain ninja.
"We are going to wait until after the fight between them to see if we can get any of their scrolls."
"I see." I said then we watched the rain ninja get killed by Gaara with his sand. "That was kind of cool."
"Cool?" Kiba asked looking at me like I was an idiot.
"I want an umbrella." I comment.
"That's what you were talking about?" Kiba asked shocked that I completely ignored the fact that Gaara just mercilessly killed three people. Then Gaara started to say that he wants more blood or something and aimed his sand at our bush. "does he know we're here?"
"I hope not." Hinata remarked, stuttering, shocking me with the fact that she talked.
"Well I am going to distract him you run while he's distracted." I suggest to them.
"What? He's going to kill you." Kiba remarked.
"I don't think he will." I remark. Then I exited the bush and looked directly at the red head. "Hi!"
"What are you doing here?" Kankuro asked as Gaara's hand slowly went down because he wasn't going to kill me. Why not is a mystery.
"I was in the neighborhood and noticed you here also I want an umbrella." I say picking up one of the umbrellas from the ground but pur it down after realizing it was broken.
"In the neighborhood?" Temari asked.
"You know the Forest of Death and all."
"Where are your teammates?" Gaara asked startling well basically everyone.
"I keep getting that a lot."
"They seemed attached to you before, at least one of them." Temari offered a bit tentatively since she was entering into a conversation with Gaara.
"Oh yeah, 'It' is a possessive guy." I remark casually.
"It?" Gaara asked.
"That's the name of my teammate that is always touching me and stuff." I answered looking around for a place to sit. My legs were getting tired.
"Why?" Gaara asked curiously.
"Well, I guess he likes me or something." I answer now wondering why Itachi is so attached to me.
"He's not your boyfriend?" Temari asked confused since she thought that Itachi and I were going out.
"Nope. Unless we are and he just didn't tell me or ask me for that matter. He might have decided that I was on his own, I don't have much freedom in the first place." I say then realize that I should be waiting where I was before. "Well I got to go. I was actually not supposed to move but I did, so I should probably go back there."
"We need to go to the tower." Kankuro reminded Temari and Gaara.
"I'll see you there then."
"See you later, don't die." Temari said happily as she left.
"Why is everyone thinking that I am going to die?" I ask to no one since I was now alone in the clearing. "He left me his umbrella how nice." I remark as I notice that the umbrella that Gaara used was by my feet and still works.
Guess what, I'm lost. I can't find the clearing that I was supposed to wait in. So basically since I am once again being brilliant I decide to wonder around once again. I so passed that tree before, oh wait no it's another tree. I still see trees. Oh my gosh there's a tree! If I was smart I would have marked my route so I wouldn't go in circles. I could leave a trail of bread crumbs but that would be a waste of Sammich bread. There's something in the bushes over there I should go take a look.
It's a giant snake! Run away! Crap giant snakes can slither fast, I almost said run but I caught myself since snakes can't run. The snake is looking at me, it's going to eat me. I know I should use my ultimate plan.
"Would you like a Sammich?" I say to the snake offering it a Sammich. The snake looked at me then blew up. No joke, from the inside out. A whole bunch of Narutos came bursting out of the snake's stomach. Luckily for me I had Gaara's umbrella open at the time so I was safe from snake guts. I am going to have to remember to thank Gaara for that.
"Nice lady?" Naruto asked when he noticed me under the umbrella.
"Hi, Kit." I greet him happily since I would no longer be wondering around alone in the Forest of Death. Who wouldn't be happy about that. CoughGaaracough.
"What are you doing here alone?" Naruto asked me as I stood downwind of him. Hey snake guts smell bad.
"I can ask you the same thing." I retort sick of people assuming that I was attached to Itachi.
"I got separated from my team."
"My team left me in the forest."
"Why?"
"They wanted to get scrolls without me slowing them down." I tell him absentmindedly twirling my umbrella.
"Where did you get the umbrella?"
"Gaara." I answer simply causing him to be shocked for a moment. "Don't you have somewhere you need to be going?"
"I got to save Sakura!" Naruto exclaimed.
"Which way do you need to go, I'll catch up eventually since I have nowhere better to go." And being with Naruto would be me fulfilling my mission.
"This way." Naruto said pointing and then he jumped into the trees and ran, really fast. So I started walking.
You know what's fun...Akira never did find out if snakes like Sammiches.
Also I noticed that before submitting this chapter the word count for this story was 16,666...kind of evil isn't it? An extra 6 for ultimate evil? I thought it was interesting.
Preview for next chapter: Reading a Book (sounds thrilling doesn't it?)
"Tell him I said hi, but technically I was kidnapped by It before I was Kimimaro's slave so I guess he has ownership rights or something."
"Ah, how is 'It'?" Orochimaru asked.
"Fine I guess." I answer wondering if he knew that It was Itachi.
"Give me back my ring."
"Your ring was death germ infested, my ring is lemony smelling." I say denying his claim to my ring.
"You just took my ring and put it in some lemon smelling stuff."
"Well I'm sorry but I need it."
