I do not own NCIS; no infringement is intended.
Hello again! As always, thank you for reading and sticking with me.
Please leave a review for me to ponder! Reviews are delightful in so many ways. Thank you for reviewing!
Gibbs hadn't expected what he found when he entered the lab the next morning. He'd stopped for Abby's morning caf-pow, along with his coffee, and then he had entered her domain only to find her slamming down every object she moved in the search for some missing artifact. It was best to proceed with caution. "Abs?" She threw down the rest of the test tubes she'd been assaulting as she flipped around to face him.
"That horrible, horrible man." "Mcgee?" "Yes." "The one you live with or the other one?" Not even a smile. "Not funny Gibbs." No room for joking. He hadn't seen her this mad in a long time. A limited number of topics could achieve this level of rage out of her. "Mcgee talk to you?" "Yes. And because he was in this everything in the world is his fault mood, I couldn't be mad last night. So off you go, because I'd like to continue being mad right now."
Finding it best to leave her to it, or risk personal harm, Gibbs went to locate the rest of his team. All three of them were seated at their desks looking perfectly fine. Before he could even sit down, his phone was ringing in their latest case. Refreshing way to start your morning, fishing dead bodies out of infested ponds. It was going to be a long day. Luckily he had people he could force to do the unsavory task. Which one would be earning the privilege today? Where had DiNozzo gone?
After locating DiNozzo and forcing him to come to terms with that fact that he would be the one wading in the cesspool, Gibbs stayed long enough to ensure that his senior agent was actually going to do it. DiNozzo really should know that the looks of disdain he was shooting at Gibbs didn't affect him at all, only made it more entertaining. He left Tony to it, aided by Ziva's helpful suggestions concerning body collection, from the safety of dry land.
Gibbs headed back to the office with Mcgee. Gibbs had a director to update and Mcgee a paper trail to follow. Somehow, simply updating the director had turned into an argument about the running of the agency which stretched into a multi-hour debate. By the time Gibbs was able to evacuate the director's office, it was well past the allotted time that he had given his team to work.
Approaching his desk revealed Mcgee alone. Good, he could start his non-work related interfering without an audience or worrying about getting Mcgee alone. Before Gibbs could begin speaking he was being cut off. "Boss, about those records, they should be here soon. I know you said two hours but Ziva's contact in the State Department took awhile to call back and then Tony tried to flirt his way in and I think we're probably going to get another sexual harassment complaint, but he really didn't mean for it to sound the way it did. We still don't have them and Ducky thinks that…"
This was never going to end. "Hey!" That shut him up. Did they really think talking as quickly as they could for as long as they could worked? Every single one of them utilized that little trick, rambling on and on, hoping he'd forget what he wanted to say. Honestly. He hadn't forgotten yet and he didn't intend to start.
"Mcgee, been hearing some scuttlebutt, want to tell me what's been going on?" "You talked to Abby?" Mcgee was just shy of panic setting in. Of course he had. There was some direct link that enabled Gibbs to hunt out information starting with her. She kept no secrets from Gibbs. What had she said? Had she been editing? Or giving some Abby version of events that required putting logical thought aside to follow? Mcgee's mental tangent was broken off by Gibbs. "This isn't about her. I want to know what you think."
Mcgee went directly to firing off danger signals in his head. Was this an intervention? Gibbs wasn't usually the one heading them up. He looked over at Gibbs. The man was hard to read. Did he go through training for that lack of expression or come by it naturally? "It doesn't matter." Gibbs gave some barely perceivable shift in his gaze. "That's where we have a problem." "Problem, Boss?" The walls seemed to be shrinking in on him. Inches disappearing before his eyes. It was too small, there was no space. Was it getting hotter?
"Well yeah, Mcgee. I'd say it's a problem if you're going to let an Admiral on a power trip make you question your choices, your whole life. Don't care if he is your father. He might think he has the upper hand but you can change that. You're the one who can break it. I don't allow my people to take the kinds of things that I hear he's been saying from anyone."
Gibbs was telling him he could take on his father? Gibbs was insane. There was no other option. He and Gibbs didn't have talks like this. Alternate reality must be setting in, next he'd come to and find himself sanding something in Gibbs' basement batcave. That would be problematic. He didn't know how to sand.
"It really doesn't matter Boss." "You are one of my people. It matters. You matter." While Mcgee was waiting for the shock to wear off, he watched Gibbs switch his view to something behind his back before he gave Mcgee a final look and started heading towards the stairs. His mind was on overload. He was winding his way back to things do not compute mode. Had Gibbs lost his mind? Or was he trying to give Mcgee back his?
While the gears in his head were still spinning he watched Abby circle his desk and felt her arms wrap around his neck. "Wow Mcgee. I think you just got a promise of eternal devotion from Gibbs." "How long have you been there?" "Not long." "You need something?" "No, but I happen to know a weak spot in the security defenses of a certain government agency, if you'd like to exploit it."
Abby's tip had worked and it had been back to the case for the rest of the day. Gibbs' words had been pushed to the back of his mind, though they kept trying to break onto center stage. Taking on the Admiral. Laughable. But abandoning the current situation might not be.
That could break the upper hand, by totally annihilating the situation. Interesting. Still yet, self doubt was rising. Maybe it was him. Maybe he didn't know how to be family. Maybe he didn't remember or possibly he'd never learned properly. He spent a good portion of his return home allowing these new revelations to overtake his thoughts.
He had never fit in, because he wasn't drawn to extroversion, not being someone who thrusts themselves upon every living thing in a five mile radius, as was expected by his relations. The world can't be made up of one personality type. It didn't help that the lot of them, parents, uncles and aunts, cousins, everyone, seemed to make it a point to focus upon what you were not, disregarding everything that you were.
Another blow; various family members had always said he considered himself dramatically misunderstood. It wasn't dramatic if it was true. They had never tried to understand. Aside from his sister and grandmother, not a person in his family really knew him, not the real person, he had kept hidden for fear of what they would say if they found out the truth. It was too big a risk. He'd had to protect himself.
It's terrible. Being left out, always alone, even when you're surrounded by supposed family. Every gathering, every time you see them, they might ask you polite questions but they don't care. Half the time, they don't even really listen to the answers, already moving on to someone more interesting before you had even finished an answer. He wasn't one of them. And they'll blame you too, saying that you don't want to be, you keep to yourself.
Well why wouldn't you? When every single one of them looks at you like you're crazy every time you open your mouth? It's better to not talk, better to keep quiet than to interact and be reminded that you are and will forever be a second class citizen. Growing up, it had become easier to simply live in his head. Old habits were hard to break. It was impossible to change their minds, get them to think differently. Just the looks alone put you in your place.
Who wants that kind of life? Who wouldn't choose to run? It was all coming back. He had idealized this idea of reconnecting with the family. Though he'd known it wouldn't be easy, he had forgotten it would be next to impossible to succeed. Too much time had lapsed since he'd last been in contact.
It was true that you always began to forgive something once it was left behind. His mind had been forgiving of the reality. He'd forgotten what it was like. Whether by conscious selection or unconscious choice, he wasn't sure. The options were solidifying in his mind.
Abby had granted him several hours of solitude to come to terms with whatever was on his mind. But being herself, Mcgee knew that she couldn't hold off her questions forever. More than likely she was dying to know if Gibbs had expended some magical power over him solving all problems in one fell swoop. "What are you thinking Timmy?"
"I don't know how to be a member of a family. Not like your stories Abs, it's a foreign land. This isn't a family. I don't have one, not like it's supposed to be anyway." Abby was watching him in the disconcerting way that typically made him concerned about whatever was preparing to come out of her mouth. She was going to say whatever she had in mind and he was going to listen, non-optional. Hopefully they would be in accordance with each other this time. He didn't feel like a debate at the moment.
"That's not true. Maybe you didn't once, but you have one now. Trust me. I know what it's like to not have anyone. How scary that is, but I found mine. Then you came along and joined it. We both found our family. You do know how to be family, Mcgee. You don't leave. You do whatever you can, when you can, to make things better for the others. All you have to do is be there. How many times have you gone running just because Sarah called you? Or me? Any of us? You would do anything for any one of us, no questions asked. There are no expectations. You always have a place to come home. We all needed each other, so we found each other. We've taught each other. That's family, Tim. And don't you forget it."
