Clementine's P.O.V.
Another great dinner.
I liked the feeling of actually being full. I've prioritized A.J. over myself so many times now that I hadn't eaten properly in a long time. The first night at the boarding school reminded me what it was like to have a full stomach, but now those nights were becoming less frequent. It depended on the catch we'd get from either the traps, hunting, or whatever else we could scavenge nearby. Tonight happened to be fortunate, as everyone got their own serving of cooked salmon.
Louis, A.J., and I headed for our bedroom to retire for the night, having already eaten and conversed with everyone. I was surprised Lou hadn't offered a game to finish the night like he usually did. Nothing about him seemed off, he was acting like, well, Louis.
We came to the room and I opened the door slowly. I lit the candle and set it on the nightstand, illuminating the walls in a soft, yellow glow that blended with the white colors of the moon. It reflected onto A.J.'s face as he looked at the bed uneasily with his hands clenched.
"What's the matter, kiddo?" I asked. "Didn't you have a good dinner?"
"Yeah, I did. I just don't want to go to bed right now. I have a lot of energy!" He jumped up and down for effect. "Can I go draw with Tenn? He was asking me about it earlier…"
I considered it for a moment. I wasn't feeling that tired myself, despite my full stomach. I glanced over at Louis and he nodded his head slightly. I turned back to my boy and shrugged, giving him permission to go and spend the rest of the night with Tennessee.
"Okay. Just make sure you're back before it gets too dark, alright, goofball?"
He was too excited to bicker about the nickname. He gave me a hug before exiting the room, leaving me and Louis alone together. This could mean a lot of things. A lot of Louis things. I turned to him with crossed arms, noticing the relieved look on his face. Almost like he wanted us to be alone. Which…I couldn't deny I wanted, too.
"You tired?" I asked, hoping he'd say no. He shook his head. Of course he wasn't.
"Nope. But I don't mind cuddling if you are."
"I'm not."
"Cool, so you wanna play a game?"
It took a lot of strength not to roll my eyes. This explained a lot. "Is this why you didn't start one of those after dinner?"
"Exactly. I wanted to initiate a more…personal game. As in, I don't want to play it with anyone else besides you."
My heart thudded against my rib cage, my mind all over the place, filled with ideas of what my boyfriend would want to do while we were alone. Some ideas made me blush, others had me sticking my lip out in disgust. He noticed the change in my features and stepped forward to distract me from my hesitation.
"It'll be easy, I promise." That didn't assure me in the slightest. "We'll draw cards, whoever has the higher card gets to ask the other something they really want to know. Could be about their past, their future, their hobbies…"
"So it's like truth or dare, except without the dare part?"
"See, you know the basics! C'mon, it's something to do until A.J. gets back. Or we get tired. Whichever comes first."
I considered it and decided, motioning for him to start. He got the cards out of one of his pockets and started to shuffle them. I watched him quietly, mentally piecing together the questions I'd want to ask him. It was inevitable I'd win, having only 2 players and so many cards. He sat the pile down on the desk and pulled up a couple of chairs. I took a seat and moved myself so I was just across from him, our knees still touching.
"So, why did you-"
"-Ah, ah, ah." He held a finger up. "Save the questions for when you win, darlin'."
My heart skipped a beat hearing that term, but I ignored it. I pulled a card out randomly from the pile, which happened to be the queen of spades. He took his and I saw the smile dissipate from his face. I showed my card to him as Louis slowly turned his over, revealing a 3 of hearts.
I asked my question impatiently. "Why did you want to play this game with me instead of everyone else?"
"Well, seeing as you're my girlfriend now, I think we should get to know each other better. There's some things I don't know about you, and you don't know about me." He shrugged weakly. "Just seemed a little too personal to play this in front of everyone."
I shrugged and reached for another card. "You've got a point."
We both showed each other our hand. He was, unfortunately, the winner. I knew I was in deep when he smirked again. He had that look in his eyes - when something was on his mind, and he had to get it out. Via his usual 'Louis' outlet, which was either through a joke or exaggerated anythings.
"Soo….Clemster." I flinched at the word. "-Mkay. Won't be calling you that again…" He took a deep breath through his teeth. "When did you realize you like-liked me?"
This was easy. I got a little kick reminiscing about our past times together, what we've exchanged ever since I met him. My heart was beating wildly as I said my response:
"Ever since I met you, I guess. I've known people who wanted to preserve the old world, but not for the right things. They kept the wars and violence. But you wanted to keep the arts and music, which is what we really need. And you're a funny guy. You've treated A.J. in a way no one else has, and despite what we did to you…you still forgave us."
My gaze had been in my lap, and as I glanced up, I noticed the look of shock on his face. He collected himself at the last moment, grinning and chuckling slightly as he reached for another card. I smiled. I saw him flustered sometimes, but he got cuter every time I caught him off guard. I grabbed a card and we flipped ours over, only to see that I won again.
"I'll redirect this question back to you. When did you know you like-liked me, Louis?"
"If I'd have known you were going to steal my question, I would've made a rule against it." I rolled my eyes again. "Anyway…When I heard Marlon had a girl that survived a car crash, I thought, 'wow, I hope she's not dead.' And then he told me you were our age, and I thought, 'wow, I REALLY hope she's not dead.' And, hey, you weren't!"
I gave him a look.
"-Right, right, but seriously…I liked you from the start. You're stronger than anyone else I've seen. When you and A.J. weren't around that day…I felt like I was missing something. And I was. Because there wasn't anyone else who was willing to get to know me or keep listening after they hear my jokes and the music. You were there for me when I needed it, and…I regret ever hurting you. You put up with my bullshit even when I didn't deserve it. My biggest mistake was letting you guys go, but you came back. I…knew then I needed you two more than I thought."
I felt myself tremble during his confession. It was one thing hearing people compliment me for my fighting or my leadership, but nothing could match what I heard just now. I reached forward to take another card and noticed my arms were shaking. I swiped it out of the pile quickly. Louis flipped his card over. I won again.
"There's something I've been wanting to ask you for awhile now. Ever since I came here, I think." I fidgeted with the card in my hand. "Why exactly are you here? In a school for troubled youth?"
He stared at me for a few seconds. I was afraid I said something wrong, but he shook his head before I could take it back. "It's just weird to hear someone asking about it, to be honest. Because everyone else knows. You just kind of get the impression that everyone does, but…I forgot that you didn't."
He leaned back in his chair.
"It's simple: I freaked my parents out when I started trapping animals. Think I was 6 or 7 at the time. I wanted to be a hunter. They saw me with dead things all the time and sent me here thinking something was wrong with me, like I was obsessed with killing. But if I'm gonna be honest…I think it's the whole 'trapping' process that interested me. Not the killing."
I was pleased with his answer. We grabbed another pair of cards. I won, just a number above his card. He didn't look happy with the result and threw his hand back on the table with a huff. I was inwardly beaming. Hopefully my streak would continue so he wouldn't ask me any dumb questions.
"So, Prince Charming." I tapped the side of my cheek. "How'd you lose that tooth?"
"Marlon and I were fucking around when we were training everybody, years ago. Had these dummies set in the gym so you could practice on them, punching, hitting, all that good stuff. Well, I went a little too crazy with Chairles once and swung harder than I meant to. Missed the dummy and it hit me on the side of my face. Hard."
He pointed to his missing tooth.
"I lost this and had a bruise that lasted weeks." He grit his teeth. "Not my finest moment."
I could only picture the scene of Louis attempting to hit a dummy but failing horribly enough that he knocked out his own tooth. I had to remind myself that this same guy was my boyfriend. I shook my head with a smile and grabbed another card. He won, much to his pleasure.
"Okay, what's the deal with the hat? Not what the 'D' stands for, but…why's it mean so much to you?"
I narrowed my eyebrows. I haven't spoken about my hat to anyone ever since Lee, or A.J. when he brought it up a few times. I clasped my hands together and stared at the ground, remembering just how long ago I first wore this thing. How much it's been through with me - my most prized possession.
"Hey, if you don't want to answer, that's fine. We can draw agai-"
"It was…a gift from my dad." I interrupted. "He gave it to me to keep while they were gone for vacation. So I wouldn't miss them too much while they were weren't there. I…ended up losing it at some point, but I got it back again. Haven't let go of it since."
"Oh. I…promise I'll never make fun of it, then."
Things got silent after that. We decided to draw again, in hopes of getting rid of the tension. It wasn't that the hat subject bothered me, but I realized how long it's been since I thought of my parents. It was hard enough knowing that they were one of them. I felt a little guilty as I read over my card, showing it weakly to Louis. He won again.
"You don't have to answer, but since you mentioned them…What do you think your parents would've thought of me, if they were still around?"
The smile grew to both ends of my face, imagining Louis meeting my parents for the first time. How he'd crack them up with those stupid jokes of his, impressing them with his voice, the piano, and how he'd get them to laugh and talk for hours when dinner came. For those few seconds, I actually remembered what the world was like without walkers. That was, until I realized the slim possibility of me even meeting Louis if there had not been an apocalypse, and was snapped back into reality.
"They would've loved you." I said in a thankful breath. "My dad - he liked to joke around too, and my mom, well, she would've love to hear you sing. She was into that stuff. I think you would've won them over the moment they met you."
"Not a surprise. My charm wins over everyone." He bragged with a hand to his chest. "And if it's any assurance, I would've loved to meet them. I'm sure they were nice people."
I grew warm at his response, nodding my head softly. "Yeah. They were."
As my eyes traveled over his face, I could feel the same fondness in my eyes. I suddenly got lost in his eyes - the chocolate brown color reminding me of the life I had before everything started. There was something wonderful about staring in them for so long; something I hadn't attempted before. I got shy enough just looking at him longer than two seconds.
I didn't realize he scooted closer in his chair so our bodies were only inches apart. We were facing different directions, but we hadn't broke eye contact the entire time. My hand lifted to trail the side of his face and along his jaw. I shivered feeling the soft and rough parts of his skin - the way his freckles felt under my fingertips as my palm grazed his cheek. We still hadn't broke eye contact.
"I…" I started, finding myself breathless. "I'm glad we played this game." I confessed.
"Me, too." He raised his own hands so they were cupping the sides of my face. I unconsciously nestled my cheek into his palm, the rest of my body melting in his warm touch. "Thank you for doing this, Clem. There's no one else I'd want to play with."
"We can still play. Let's just forget about the cards and talk to each other."
He huffed, almost removing his hands from my face until I motioned him to keep them where they were. I could feel how cold the air was the moment he wasn't holding me, and I preferred feeling warm. At least - right now. With him. Warm and…comfortable. Talking about our past. Revealing things I wouldn't normally talk about with other people.
"I'll start." I grinned seeing the way his lip protruded. "How come you've never had a girlfriend before?"
"You really want to hear about how pathetic I am that no one's ever come to date me?" His tone was flat. He compensated by chuckling, rubbing his thumbs along my jaw. "Well, you should already know. I made people laugh and expressed myself in music, but no one's ever looked past that. They just see me as a funny, talented guy. And that's the most any girl would look."
He leaned closer to me, his eyelids dropping slowly. "But with you…it was different. And if I'm gonna' be honest, you having a crush on me was the last thing I'd ever expect."
His lips were inches away from mine, and by the time I closed my eyes, I was already kissing him I felt a wave of relief come the moment our lips locked. It was like the first time we kissed - the way my heart beat in my ears, the heat on my cheeks, the swelling in my chest, and the way I trembled when his hand came to caress the side of my face. It was weird feeling this vulnerable and numb at the same time, where I was not in any actual danger.
Unless you consider my heart beating out of my chest and dying from blood loss, that is.
He pulled back to give me a sided smile, drawing his head to the side and licking his lips slightly. I found myself copying him and hunched my shoulders up once I realized what I had done. He laughed. I did, too. We both had a moment were we held each other and did nothing but giggle.
"Since we're speaking of boyfriends and girlfriends, I just have to ask." Everything good and happy disappeared from me the moment he put on that playful grin. "-Who was this guy you had feelings for? The one you mentioned during our first game, that is."
"What? You want me to tell you just so you can get jealous?"
"Me? Jealous? Nah. Not my style." Even as he shook his head, I grew a little doubtful. "Just…curious."
"Mmm, if you say so." He gave me a look. "His name was Gabe. He was Javi's nephew, that baseball player I talked about, remember?" Louis nodded. "It wasn't that long ago, but it really feels like it. We never really had a thing. I don't think it was anything more than a crush, actually. Kind of like the ones you'd get when you were a kid."
"What did you like about him?"
"I don't know. Like I said, he was a dork…I guess I just…liked him. He was cute, but it's hard to remember why I felt the way I did."
"So, technically, you've never had a boyfriend before?"
"Well, Javi told me Gabe liked me back, but I couldn't stay around. I had to find A.J., so I left." I noticed his lack of movement and rolled my eyes. "-So, no, I've never had a boyfriend before. You're my first."
"Makes me feel a little better. I kind of thought you had one before…y'know, you kissing me first, drawing that heart, and telling me you had a crush on me. Just seemed like you had some experience."
"No. I just…knew I really liked you, and I didn't want to miss the chance of telling you. I wanted you to know before we got attacked by the raiders, in case it was the last time we saw each other."
"I'm glad you did. I don't know how long it would've taken me to confess to you first. I was dropping a lot of hints, you know." I bit my lip remembering all the times he's asked me if I liked anyone. "-As for telling you? That's like trying to feed a lion with a piece of meat. Scary stuff."
"God, you're so dumb. I think you and Gabe are both dorks."
"Then apparently, you have a type." He grinned coquettishly.
Before I could prove to him that I totally did not have a soft spot for dorks, a few knocks sounded from the door and A.J. came in. I could tell just by his eyes that he was exhausted. I smiled and patted the end of the bed as an invitation for him to come. He said nothing and weakly went onto the bed, laying in the middle and closing his eyes. We were both silent as we listened to him fall asleep. It only took one look exchanged between us to get up from our seats and join the smaller figure's side.
"I didn't know drawing could tire a kid out." Louis admitted quietly.
"He's had a long day." I laid down and wrapped my arms around him. "I'm starting to feel tired, too."
He got the message and shrugged off his trench coat. Instead of putting it beside the bed or hanging it on the wall, he laid it down so covered all three of our bodies. He rested on his side and moved his arm so his hand could grip mine. I didn't hesitate to hold his back. We looked at each other from between A.J., the same trusting look in both of our eyes.
I thought about everything we talked about tonight. From my parents to how he lost his tooth, or how we talked about the moment we realized we like-liked each other. Just thinking the words 'like-like' made me feel like a kid. As Louis' eyes met with mine, I wanted to tell him something. Something that…was better than like-like. Shorter - but truer.
"Hey, Louis…" I started slowly. "Not to be totally romantic or anything, but…I love you."
His eyes widened in surprise, and his jaw opened for a moment or two. He shut it before squeezing my hand, moving closer so his other could come around my waist. I looked back at his face and found something contented in his eyes. He winked at me again.
"And not to be, like, totally romantic back, but I love you, too."
He brought A.J. and I closer to him. I fell asleep almost instantly after that - my hand in Louis' for the whole night. I didn't realize until the morning that I had slept with a smile plastered on my face for hours.
