A/N: I'm so so so so sorry I took so long with this one, guys! I promise I'm not giving up; I still have a lot of ideas for this story. As elena2awesome said in her totally awesome and appreciated review, "We can't let stories die!" Disclaimer: I own Harry Potter? Really? ... What do you mean April Fools? It's the 25th! ... darn it.
Chapter 7: Doxies and Cauldrons
It took Harry the five seconds between waking up and putting on his glasses to remember that he was not in Private Drive, but in Grimmauld Place, secret headquarters of the Order That No One Bothered To Tell Harry About. It took him the ten minutes to pull on his clothes and open his door to a view of a pink-haired Albus chasing James down the stairs, holding a tutu in one hand and a bottle of shaving cream in the other, to remember that said Order was currently acting as host to a group of time traveling children. And one teenager, he added mentally as Teddy sprinted out after them with Sharpie scribbles all over his face. (Was he shouting in French?)
Harry chucked his slipper at Ron's head. He was rewarded with a muffled curse as his friend struggled to extract himself from the tangle of sheets. Chuckling, Harry started to make his way downstairs.
On the next landing he joined Ginny, Hermione, Rosie, and Lily, who all seemed to be in fits of giggles as they listened to Teddy and Albus wrestling with James on the ground floor.
"Do I want to know?" Harry asked as he leaned over the banister in time to see Teddy spray at least half the bottle of shaving cream down the back of James's shirt.
"James thought it would be a good idea to prank Teddy and Albus while we were all asleep," Lily giggled, "They weren't too happy when they woke up."
"Understatement," Ginny grinned as Albus forced the tutu over James's head, trapping his arms at his sides.
"Should we help him?" asked Hermione, looking torn between amusement and disapproval.
Rose snorted, "He deserves it." Harry gathered, from her slightly frosty tone, that she had yet to forgive James for roping them into this little time travel endeavor.
"Got to admit it," said Ron's voice as he came up next to Harry. He was admiring the view below them, looking mildly impressed, "They don't hold back."
"And they certainly come prepared," Harry laughed as Teddy pulled out a red marker and wrote 'TOOL' on James's forehead, complete with smiley faces and little hearts, "Where did Albus even get a tutu?"
"It's best not to ask," said Rosie, flashing a grin at Harry before turning to the others, "Lets go have breakfast. They could be at this for a while."
As the group headed down to the kitchen, they passed the curtains behind which Mrs. Black could be heard snoring. Suddenly Harry had a sudden thought.
Tapping Hermione on the shoulder, he asked, "Why isn't she -" he nodded to the portrait, "- you know - going ballistic?"
It was Rose who answered, "Teddy shot a spell at her as he was coming down. I think it was Muffliato."
"Muff - what?" Ron looked bewildered.
She rolled her eyes, "Muffliato. It's a muffling spell; it keeps people from overhearing conversations. Kind of the opposite of a silencing charm."
"That's handy," said Harry, slightly impressed. It could be useful to them this year, especially given the number of conversations he, Ron, and Hermione generally had in which they didn't want to be overheard.
"You taught it to him," Lily said. She took Harry's hand and smiled up at him almost adoringly. It suddenly felt as though something very warm was snuggling into Harry's chest. Was this how it felt to be a father? To have a family? Then, suddenly, Lily's words registered in his mind.
"Why didn't his father teach it to him?" he frowned at Rosie, "He's a great teacher. And I'm sure he'd be more than able to."
Rosie paled and shot a sharp look at Lily, who winced apologetically, before looking back at Harry, "I'm not sure. I don't think he knows it."
Harry raised an eyebrow doubtfully, "But I do?"
"Come on," Ginny interrupted, grabbing Rosie's hand and dragging her to the kitchen stairs, "Mum'll go spare if we don't get to the drawing room soon. She's determined to have this house spotless by the end of the summer." The two red heads disappeared through the door. Lily released Harry's hand and hurried after them.
Harry shot a questioning look at Ron and Hermione, "What was that about? What's with Ginny?"
Ron shrugged and headed to the kitchen, mind on food. Hermione, however, paused and glanced from the scuffling pile of boys on the ground floor to the kitchen doorway, biting her lip.
"What?" Harry urged.
She opened her mouth, hesitated, and said, "Just something Ginny said Teddy told her last night. I'll tell you later." And then she was gone. Frustrated, Harry followed her.
There was little talk down in the kitchen as the occupants rushed through a hurried breakfast, the threat of Mrs. Weasley's wrath hovering over them and causing the eggs and bacon to disappear at a record rate. The only interruption came in the form of James, Albus, and Teddy coming down the stairs. Teddy (still marker-covered) and Albus (still pink-haired) both sported smug expressions as James trailed after them, looking rather like he had been attacked by a rabid horde of glitter-coated Cornish pixies armed with markers, shaving cream, and some unknown green substance which drenched James's ginger hair.
Sirius, Fred, and George gave the trio a standing ovation as the others laughed uproariously. Even Mrs. Weasley couldn't hold back a fond smile as she waved her wand and cleaned the three boys up in seconds, no doubt having years of practice with the twins.
Teddy grinned widely as he sat across from Harry and politely asked, "Could you pass the toast, Hermione?"
She obliged and Harry looked curiously at Teddy, "You're speaking English."
Teddy blinked at Harry, "You're a fifteen year old midget."
"OI!" Harry looked offended as the others smothered their giggles, "What's that got to do with anything?"
Teddy jumped innocently, "Oh, sorry, I thought we were pointing out the obvious." The others weren't quite able to hide their chuckles this time.
Harry glared at Fred and George, who weren't bothering to hide their laughter and had milk running down from their noses at this point, "I was just saying, I heard you speaking French earlier. I thought that was part of the prank."
"Oh! No, I've just gotten into a habit of shouting in French when I'm annoyed."
"Where'd you learn French?" asked Hermione interestedly.
For the first time since meeting him, Harry witnessed Teddy's cheeks flush red. He avoided the others' eyes and mumbled, "Nowhere…"
James snorted, "His girlfriend."
"JAMES!"
"Girlfriend?" Tonks leaned forward eagerly. She had elected to stay the night before due to the circumstances. Her hair was auburn today, and pulled up into a high ponytail. There was a bright smile on her face as she observed Teddy's uncharacteristically flustered appearance. "Who might that be?"
Teddy shot her a rather weak, but playful, smile, "No spoilers."
"But she's French?" asked Sirius with a sly grin, "Nice."
"Watch it," said James warningly, "That's my cousin you're talking about."
"JAMES!"
"What?" James grinned, "I'm not mentioning any names, am I?"
"You're dating they're cousin?" asked Harry with a raised eyebrow. Must be on their mother's side, he thought absently with a slight pang of sadness, because I don't have any siblings.
"Yeah, he is," James was exasperated by now, "Your niece. And the only one who seemed surprised was me."
"That's because it was painfully obvious to everyone except you, James," Rosie rolled her eyes. Albus and Lily nodded.
"Really?"
"It doesn't matter!" said Teddy loudly, his hair hot pink much to Harry's amusement. "There are other things to talk about!"
"Like?" asked Rose with a wide grin. Teddy was hardly ever this flustered.
"Like… The whereabouts of your brother," said Teddy, looking around. The others followed suit and likewise realized that Hugo was missing.
Rose rolled her eyes, "He's still upstairs. I think he's trying to force himself to use accidental magic to change the color of his pajamas."
Ron snorted, "It won't work. I've tried."
And indeed, it was with a disappointed face that Hugo joined them in the drawing room after breakfast. Handing him a piece of toast, Harry watched curiously as Mrs. Weasley began handing out dishrags and spray bottles, instructing the others to cover their mouths and noses.
The others, time travelers and Weasley kids alike, grumbled with annoyance about having to clean like house elves. The only ones who seemed not to mind were Hermione, Harry, and, to Harry's surprise, Teddy.
"Come on, you lot, buck up," he said downright cheerfully, spinning a bottle of Doxicide around his finger, "It's just bit of cleaning, it won't kill you."
"Speak for yourself," Albus mumbled as his fiddled with the nozzle on his. It was stuck on a strange setting that made it randomly spurt jets of the dark liquid in three different directions.
Teddy rolled his eyes. As he was closer to the Metamorphmagous than the others, Harry distinctly heard him mutter something about "kids from privilege". He was about to ask, before remembering Ginny's reaction to their questioning of Rose and Lily. He glanced at Hermione, who was already looking at him. On catching his eye, she quickly looked away.
What were they keeping from him and the others? They never kept secrets from each other! But as resentment floundered in Harry's chest, he pushed it down, reminding himself that Hermione had promised to explain and only lacked the opportunity.
An opportunity, thought Harry as Sirius stopped in to deposit a bag of dead rats from feeding Buckbeak in an old armchair by the fireplace before having to leave to answer the doorbell, that he was going to make sure she gets.
Shaking himself, he returned his attention to Mrs. Weasley as she explained what to do.
The doxies reminded Harry of enlarged cartoon gnats. They emerged from the velvet folds in waves, each more furious than the last. During a break in the epic battle for the drawing room curtains, Fred and George subtly informed Harry of their creations, Skiving Snack Boxes-although from the amused glances Teddy sent their way, it may not have been that subtle. Luckily Mrs. Weasley had wholeheartedly thrown herself into the challenge of taming 12 Grimmauld Place, and didn't notice her sons conspiring with Harry in the corner.
After their discussion, the process of clearing out the curtains was rather dull, with the exception of Hugo getting bitten on the thumb by a stray doxy.
"It's green!" he said enthusiastically, showing Harry and Ron the emerald tinged skin around the small puncture wounds.
"That's not a good thing, Hugo," said Harry, trying to hold back laughter as Teddy cleaned and bandaged the cut with fond exasperation.
Mrs. Weasley, of course, fussed over her grandson worse than ever, insisting he take three drops of the antidote rather than the required two, asking if he felt faint, if he wanted to lay down for a bit, and finally annoying him to the point that he cried, "Gran, I'm fine!" Mrs. Weasley became so emotional at being called 'Gran' that she could do little more than smooth down Hugo's hair fondly before returning to the fray.
James and Albus, who seemed to want revenge on the doxies for biting their cousin, quickly began a tournament of who could spray the most doxies. The others joined in enthusiastically, but in the confusion of doxy after doxy flying from the curtain and several occurrences of multiple sprays hitting the same target, they quickly lost count. By the time the curtains were cleared and hanging limply over the windows, they were still arguing over who won.
Mrs. Weasley sighed wearily and made to sit in an armchair, before Teddy darted forward and snatched the bag of rats out from underneath her. She shot him a grateful look as he delicately set the bag next to the unconscious doxies, sensitive nose wrinkled from the smell.
For the second time that morning, there was the clanging of the doorbell from downstairs. All eyes turned on Mrs. Weasley.
"Stay here." And she was gone. Mrs. Black began shrieking again.
Harry looked questioningly at Teddy, who shrugged, "The Muffliato probably wore off."
Without further ado, they all rushed to the window, to see the top of a greasy unkempt head and a stack of cauldrons.
"Mundungus!" said Hermione, "Why's he brought all those cauldrons?"
"Probably looking for some place to hide them," said Harry, "Isn't that what he was doing when he was supposed to be tailing me? Picking up dodgy cauldrons?"
"Yeah," said Fred, "Mum won't like that."
Sure enough, within seconds Mrs. Weasley's shouts started to echo up through the floorboards, mingling with Mrs. Blacks howls and actually causing Teddy to clamp his hands over his ears in pain. Seeing this, Fred made to shut the door when an old house elf in rags slipped inside.
"Filthy mudbloods and blood traitors, half breeds and oafs who dare to inhabit my Mistress's house…"
"Kreatcher?" said James, stunned.
The old elf looked up at the boy, mild surprise on his face, "And who is this one? Another of the Weasley scum?" Apparently he was under the impression that they couldn't hear him.
"Don't call them scum!" said Harry and Hermione angrily. Teddy simply stared sadly at the elf.
Kreatcher looked at the others, "Kreatcher said nothing." and in an undertone, "Kreatcher thought that there would only be one extra brat in the house."
"There was a change of plans," said Teddy politely, gaining odd looks from the others. The time travelers kept exchanging confused looks and staring at the elf as though expecting him to suddenly start tap dancing. "My cousins and I have been… temporarily displaced and the Order have been kind enough to grant us refuge in your Mistress's… lovely home."
The old elf's eyes locked onto Teddy as though he was the only person in the room he could see clearly. Harry wondered faintly if Teddy was trying to flatter Kreatcher by complimenting the late Mrs. Black, then wondered if it would even work, when Kreatcher bowed to Teddy. Judging from the others' stunned expressions, this was not a normal occurrence.
"Kreatcher did not wish to pry, sir."
"I doubt that," said a voice behind them, and Harry turned to see Sirius stride into the room, regarding the elf with high dislike. At the sight of him, Kreatcher bowed so low he actually smashed his nose on the carpet.
"Stand up," Sirius said impatiently, "Now what are you up to?"
"Kreatcher is cleaning," he said evasively.
Sirius snorted, "A likely story. This house gets blacker every day. Now if you aren't going to tell me the truth-"
"Why's he like that?" Harry heard and, turning, he saw James leaning towards Teddy, looking troubled, "Grumpy and muttering to himself? He isn't like that back home."
"That's because back home he has a family to serve who cares for him," said Teddy even softer, watching Sirius shout at the mumbling elf.
James looked at Sirius in confusion, "He wasn't like this last night. I mean, he was angry at Tonks and Remus, but not like this."
Teddy nodded sadly, "Your dad always told me that Sirius had a horrible childhood here. Kreatcher must bring back bad memories. His parents are gone, so Sirius takes it out on Kreatcher instead. It's not fair. To Sirius, or Kreatcher." And Harry turned to watch as Sirius glared bitterly at the elf slinking out of the room.
Kind of a depressing ending, but I want to emphasis Sirius and Kreatcher's relationship and how obviously dysfunctional it is. I have no idea as to the lifespans of house elves so I don't know if Kreatcher would still be alive in the future. Anyway, I kinda based Hugo off of Nico di Angelo from the Titan's Curse, before he became all angsty. Hope you guys like! Remember, reviews equal chapters!
