CHAPTER 8
Tim let Jethro out before heading out to his car and driving off to his appointment. It was set to rain later, but with the free time he's had and all the wood Gibbs had in his basement, he was able to build a doghouse for Jethro. It had been five days since he got out of the hospital, three days since his dad headed back home. So he had Gibbs' house to himself during the day and it was unsettling to say the least.
In all the years he'd been on Gibbs' team, he had only been to his house once and that was to work on a case. That was it. And now, he was suddenly sleeping in a spare bedroom that he had a feeling used to belong to either his daughter or was his and Shannon's old bedroom. It felt uncomfortable at times.
Not to mention all the free time he had on his hands. He didn't take vacations, it messed with his schedule, and now he was on three weeks probation. So he had tons of free time, already had one doctor appointment that was going to be followed by more, and it all wasn't helping him get his mind back in order. And it didn't help with the way everyone acted around him.
They were all still walking on eggshells around him when they visit, not knowing how to deal with him. Well, Ducky and Gibbs didn't so much, but the others did. Ziva watched him as if just waiting for him to explode at any minute or relapse like some addict and start writing on himself. Abby talked a mile a minute before going quiet and just watching him like Ziva. Or she was afraid to give him a hug like he suddenly started showing he didn't want one. Tony, again like Abby and Ziva, watched him. But Tony at least tried. While he watched he'd keep up with a conversation or easily slip into banter—argument from Tim's point of view—called him Probie and other McNicknames, and even came with movies and movie trivia, especially when he was in the hospital.
Shocked Tony too when he didn't hide his own movie trivia, some things that even Tony didn't know and doubted him about until he went home to look it up.
Those nights were the best.
Tim pulled into the parking lot and made his way into the building. Vance wanted to know if he was stable to go back to work, and because of that he had to see the psychiatrist every few days.
Thankfully though, he already knew the psychiatrist.
"You can go right in Agent McGee," Miranda said with a warm smile as he entered her office.
"Thank you," he replied with a nod and entered the doctor's office and headed for the couch.
"Hello Tim."
"Hello Doctor Meyers."
Doctor Meyers was an older woman but when he first met her she had been younger. He had known her since he was a child and had seen a psychiatrist. He went to her when he tried to deal with his fear of heights among other things. He trusted her, more than any other person. Thankfully Gibbs had convinced Vance to allow him to see her when his dad brought her up. And though she had to answer to NCIS when it came to him now, he still trusted her more than he would the psychiatrists that specifically worked for them.
"How are you today Tim?" she asked as she walked from behind her desk to the chair across from the couch where he sat.
"I'm fine."
"Just fine?"
He shrugged for his answer.
"Tell me how you've been since I saw you a few days ago. What did you do?"
Again he shrugged but spoke as he knew she wouldn't accept just a shrug for an answer. "Just spent time with Jethro, I think he's getting tired of me by now. Built a doghouse for him, Gibbs helped me finish the roof and paint it."
He paused there as he remembered that. He remembered working on the roof when Gibbs got back and came down to find him working. Tim had still been worried about being in his space and using his wood, even though he had called Gibbs to ask, so he was surprised when the older man asked if he wanted help finishing it and more surprised than anything, he nodded. They had finished the doghouse together and got it outside for Jethro to explore. Afterwards Gibbs made steaks for dinner and they sat watching TV while they ate.
"And how was that?"
"It was…" It had been different to say the least. He wasn't alone with Gibbs often—ever—outside of work. So it had been… "It was fun."
"How so?"
At that he frowned. Though he never spent time with Gibbs outside of work, he did do it a lot during work. They partnered a lot, especially during the times Tony and Ziva were assigned a job out of the state or even out of the country. Working beside him taught him a lot but it also allowed them to work in sync. And in doing so, when they worked on the roof of the doghouse, they barely had to speak to one another as they worked. Tim knew when and which tool Gibbs would need, and vice versa. The extent of their communication was please and thank you. Even when they ate dinner and watched TV, they barely spoke but a few words.
And it had all been nice.
Reminded him of when he worked with his dad to fix up the camero that his dad ended up giving him for his sixteenth birthday.
"Reminded me of working with my dad."
"Like when you worked on the camero?" she asked which he nodded back to. "Tell me about Gibbs," she said softly. "Last time we ran out of time, and last I saw you, you were on your way to becoming an agent."
Giving a small smile back at the smile she gave him, he said, "What do you want to know?"
The amused smile she sent him had him blushing lightly. Stalling 101.
"Well, from what I've heard, he's the one to take you to the hospital and you've been staying with him."
"Yeah," he whispered as he fidgeted a bit.
"What's he like at work?"
"He's Boss," he said with a shrug. "He's the leader and the backbone of our team. Well, that's not true," he said to himself as he remember the short time Gibbs had been in Mexico. Their team had picked themselves up and moved on while he was gone. "He's actually more…the drive. He keeps us going no matter what."
"He works you hard."
"He works us to our best," he corrected with a short burst of upset. He looked away afterwards. "Sorry."
"No need to apologize," Dr. Meyers assured.
Nodding as he still looked away, he didn't need to try and figure out why he was upset at Dr. Meyers' wording. Over the years he's heard the comments and scuttlebutt from others around the building and it still angered him though he's learned to ignore it. People thinking that because Gibbs had no life and no family that he thought it was okay to work them like slaves. That he got off with the way he led their team with long hard hours and head-slaps that sometimes left them dizzy. And that he enjoyed putting the fear in others.
But it was nonsense. Gibbs may get enjoyment out of giving them head-slaps, but those were few these days. He didn't give them that much and if he did then they really deserved it for being off track. Putting the fear in others wasn't his fault. He was just a strong leader—Alpha—and everyone else wasn't up to his level. They get up there and they wouldn't be so scared of him. And they only worked long hours when a case called for it. They weren't the best team for nothing. They did their job to the best of their abilities, to bring the murderers, scammers, kidnappers, and rapists to justice. If that required working two to three days straight then so be it.
It wasn't like Gibbs didn't reward them with a day off or half a day.
Gibbs demanded the best because he knew they could deliver; he saw what they were capable of and pushed them. They wouldn't be on the team if they weren't able to keep up.
"He's a great leader."
Dr. Meyers watched him before requesting, "Tell me about your team. You've worked with them for eight years."
"Well, there's Gibbs, obviously. Then there's Tony DiNozzo; Very Special Agent Tony DiNozzo." He cracked a smile at that one. "He's senior field agent and is Gibbs' second. He's a classclown really; goofing off, pranks, movie trivia and references, talking, talking, and talking."
"Seems childish," she inputted.
"He's a darn fine agent," he defended. "He's good at reading people and interrogating. And he's smart. Not to mention a great friend. He's loyal to a fault, he'll back you up and defend you no matter what. He cares deeply and I know the losses we've had shook him more than he showed.
"Then there's Ziva David. She came after we lost our teammate Kate. She scared me to be honest at first, she used to work for Mossad. But I always respected her too. She's a strong woman that can overcome anything and like Tony, she cares more than she shows. She and I get along great, she's like another sister.
"Abby Scuito's our lab rat. Her and I…we have a history. I used to love her. Well, I still love her, but I'm not in love with her anymore. We're better off as friends really. She is…the happiest Goth you'll ever meet." Dr. Meyers' raised an eyebrow at that and had Tim chuckle. "Yeah. Well, she's not a Goth. She's a scientist. Abby's her own person.
"There's Dr. Mallard. We call him Ducky though. He works in Autopsy and he's really the backbone of the team. We all go to him when we need to talk, even Gibbs who doesn't talk. We like to joke that Gibbs is a functional mute. But for Ducky he talks and goes to for advice. He's sweet and gentle and talks to the dead who come to his tables. He doesn't solve cases like we do but he does it by giving the deceased a voice. I really can't image ever going to Autopsy and not seeing Ducky there with an offer of a cup of tea, a chair, and open ears.
"And last we have Jimmy Palmer. He's Ducky's assistant. He's a little awkward and gets nervous easily, especially around Gibbs, but he's great. I can't imagine going into Autopsy without seeing Jimmy there with Dr. Mallard, talking and assisting Ducky."
"…That's quite the team Tim."
He smiled. "Yeah. We're weird and dysfunctional but that's us."
She watched him. "You're family."
"Yeah. We've been through a lot—"
"Like your incident," she interrupted.
"—but we always bounce back. We're going to get through this Doctor," he said with determination. "I won't let this ruin my family. I just…have to get back into the state of mind I was before and everything will be alright. I'll be the Timothy McGee they know and everything will be fine."
"You're talking about locking yourself away Tim."
Tim shook his head and got up, walking over to the window. "No. This is who I am. I am Agent Timothy McGee and I'm a member of Agent Gibbs' team. My computer skills help catch criminals, my partners have my six while I have theirs, and we are the best.
"They already know my abilities that benefit the team. What does it matter if they know that my degrees are doctorates and I have five? It's not relevant. Who cares if I've worked on projects that have not only helped our country but the people defending it? It doesn't help our team. It's in the past. No," he shook his head, "the Timothy I am now and have lived is who they know and care for. I'm giving him back to them."
"Timothy," she said and waited till he turned to face her, "as you've said, they're family. So…why shouldn't they know the real you?"
Tim made his way back and his mind was occupied with the questions Dr. Meyers left him with. He made it to the backdoor to let Jethro in and proceeded to dry him before letting him any further into the house. After he dried Jethro as much as he could, he headed to the kitchen to make something simple for dinner and grabbed a soda. He didn't drink them often with him losing weight and wanting to keep it off, but he did indulge a time or two.
Walking to the living room, he was about to sit on the couch when he paused and looked at the lamp on the side table. It was off center and he distinctly remembered centering it a few days ago. Maybe Gibbs or someone else from the team bumped and shifted it during one of their many visits. There were a lot of variables, so he just straightened it back and finished sitting down and turning on the TV, Jethro sitting at his feet and watching along.
It wasn't long before Gibbs was walking through the door with Tony right behind him. Seemed Tony didn't like going a day without visiting which was not normal as before Tony used to complain about how he saw Tim too much.
"Hey Probie," he said with a grin as he came to the living room and took the other side of the couch. "How'd it go with the doc?"
Tim shrugged before taking a sip of his coke, his mind silently calculating the weight of the half full can after emptying a sixteenth of the carbonated drink. Formulas filtering through of what was in a carbonated drink though of course he didn't have everything given the fact he was drinking a Coke and their recipe was top secret.
"McGee."
Shaking away the numbers, he turned his attention to Gibbs as he came to join them, taking the left over seat. "Yeah Boss?"
"How'd it go?"
"Alright," he shrugged. "Left me with some questions."
"Like?" Tony asked as he took a bite of the sandwich Gibbs made for them both.
He glanced at the other two men and back down at his can, his mind firing off both pros and cons of telling the questions, especially the one main one. He didn't realize he was thinking silently for so long that Gibbs and Tony had a private conversation before Gibbs spoke. "It's alright McGee. You don't have to tell us."
Silently sighing in relief, he nodded and gave a small smile. "Thanks Boss."
"So," Tony said, "what did you do today?"
"Nothing much. Just the doctor's appointment really. You?"
"Another cold case day. Man, Probie, I can't wait until you come back. It's pretty boring without you there."
Looking at the older man and seeing that he wasn't joking but being sincere, he gave a warm smile. "Thanks Tony."
"No problem," Tony said with a clap to his back and turned back to what Tim already had on the television. He didn't want to focus too much on that smile Tim gave him because it practically lit his face and spread something warm through himself. He didn't want to dwell on it too long. "So what are we watching?"
"Uh, a pirate movie. No idea what it's called."
"Probie!" he scolded.
And Tony proceeded to find out what it was and then Tim and Gibbs let Tony inform them of the story and the facts behind it instead of just letting them watch it.
Gibbs watched his boys as they watched movies and inwardly smiled at their usual picking and bantering. It wasn't till the credits of the second Pirates of the Caribbean rolled up that he looked at them again to see them both asleep. After Tony stopped talking about the movie that was on when they arrived, Tony decided that it wasn't that good of a movie to watch, let alone talk about, so he had decided to put in the first Pirates of the Caribbean. They watched it before he put in the second one and only a quarter of the way, Tim started to doze off.
But whenever Tony stopped talking so he could sleep, Tim would wake up and try to stay awake. Gibbs remembered his little girl doing the same thing when she tried to stay up late with him. It was when he just kept playing and talking that she finally fell into a deep sleep. So when Tim started to doze again, Gibbs motioned for Tony to continue.
Shortly after Tony started to drift off himself, and now, they were both out on his couch. Tony was slouch with his head tipped back and Tim was right beside him, his head resting on Tony's shoulder. He had moved to cuddle sometime around when the pirates were abandoning the Black Pearl before the Kraken returned.
He was glad to see his boys looking so peaceful.
His eyes drifted down to where their hands were grasped and couldn't help but shake his head as he turned off the movie, not really caring about the last few seconds they put at the end of the very long credits. His boys never spoke out loud about it, but they depended on one another more than anyone else on the team. Tim was Tony's probie, he helped teach him and toughen him up and in the process, Tim had Tony's six, stepping up to be his second. Didn't matter if Gibbs was there or not, Tim was Tony's second.
As he walked over to the couch and absently ran his fingers through Tim's hair, pushing it to the side, he watched as Tim sighed and fell into a deeper sleep due to Gibbs' thumb that gently rubbed the middle of this forehead. There was something about that fatherly thumb… He wasn't afraid to admit—to himself at least—that he missed putting it to use. Reaching over to do the same to Tony, he watched him as Tony let out a content sigh, something he's never heard from him, and turn his head so that his cheek rested against the top of Tim's head.
Since tomorrow was the weekend, he figured he'd let Tony sleep over. So shortly getting Tony's shoes off—Tim was already barefoot—he took a blanket and spread it over his boys before turning off the TV and lights. He took the mutt out for a last bathroom break and while the mutt did his business he went to get his bed and move it to the living room by Tim's feet. Letting him back in, he checked the doors and windows and turned off all the lights, and then headed to bed.
Tony blinked his eyes open as he woke and frowned in confusion as he was in Gibbs' living room. 'What the…?'
A movement to his left came to his attention and he saw that it was Tim, asleep, and snuggled up to his side. He watched his Probie sleep and felt himself smile as the younger man smacked his lips before going still except for his breathing. He always knew that Tim was young, hell he was practically a baby when he joined the team. All baby faced and innocent. But he watched him grow and learn into the capable and excellent agent he was today. However, there were times, like now, that he was reminded how young he was. He was about eight years younger than himself, practically the baby on the team as everyone was older.
He hadn't lied to Tim earlier when he said that it was boring without him. It was just him and Ziva with Gibbs. They had plenty to talk about, but he always turned to look at Tim's desk, to bring him into the conversation or get him to back him up, only to remember that he wasn't there. Thankfully the others didn't mention his constant forgetfulness and just continued the conversation.
Tim was always there. Always. He never took a vacation until Gibbs and Vance had to order it. He was never even late. Hell, that day his sister got into trouble, it had been only about thirty minutes before they all worried about him and started calling to see where he was. They would have done it earlier but they waited in case he was late for traffic.
Like Gibbs said when Ziva questioned their concern when it took hours for them to be worried about her during the time she was framed. "You're not McGee."
Tim was punctual, reliable, a freaking constant.
That word had been repeating in his head since the whole situation started with Clea Thorson, but it was just the absolute truth. Tim was his constant, and to have it threatened to be taken away shook him. It still shook him whenever he looked to Tim's desk at work because it constantly reminded him that if Tim's doctor doesn't give the go ahead and the clear that Tim was capable—which he was—then Tim could forever be unable to work there. Beside him.
And that was unacceptable.
Tony sleepily watched Tim and promised himself that he would help Tim. And not just for himself, but for Tim as well. He would ask what he needed to do to help later when they were both up.
Without realizing it, he pressed a kiss to Tim's forehead before succumbing to sleep again; not seeing the older man watching from the doorway.
The next time he woke, Tim was gone, the sun was up, and there was a noise coming from the kitchen. Getting up and stretching, groaning as his back cracked, he first headed off to take care of business and then to the kitchen to see Gibbs drinking his coffee and reading the paper with Tim making breakfast. He had obviously showered and changed, wearing jeans and a clean shirt, barefoot.
It seemed cozy and domestic and seeing Tim barefoot set something off in the pit of his stomach that he decided to ignore.
"Morning."
"Good morning," Tim greeted, Gibbs offering a nod and gesture to the coffee pot. "What do you want? Bacon or sausage?"
"What do you got?" he asked curiously as he looked over Tim's shoulder to see him in the middle of making an omelet and some bacon. Even had a steak going, no doubt for Gibbs. He glanced at Tim and saw him looking happy and peaceful and he quickly stepped back and over to the coffee before he did something.
What the hell was the matter with him?
"I'll take bacon. Thanks Probie," he said as he went to join Gibbs, looking away from the way the older man was watching him. "So what's on the agenda today?"
Tim shrugged as he set aside the bacon and put on more. "I was thinking of taking Jethro for a walk and go to the park. Other than that…"
From the way Tim trailed off he could tell his Probie was a little lost and he didn't really like that. "What do you usually do?"
"Uh, if we're not working then I take Jethro to the park, do some writing."
"How's that going?"
Again Tim shrugged. "It's coming along."
"Can we hear what you got so far or is it a secret?" he asked with a grin.
Tim sent a smirk over his shoulder and Tony stopped himself in time from staring at his lips. He stayed focused on the eyes; though, when it became hard to look away from those bright green eyes he didn't know.
A nudge under the table to his foot brought him back and he blinked his eyes and looked to Gibbs. But the older man wasn't looking, he was just reading the newspaper. Mentally shrugging and figuring it was Jethro walking around, he again turned his attention back to Tim as he was finishing filling the plates and bringing them over.
"Looking good Probie."
"Thanks," he said and followed with a deep blush when Tony took his first bite of the omelet and moaned out loud. Holy molasses that was good. Fluffy and with a hint of spice. And fluffy.
"Damn Probie. Where'd you learn to make this?" A glance at Gibbs showed the man enjoying the breakfast just as much though he looked used to it.
"My mom," Tim said. "Uh, when I was growing up, I could tell my mom felt like I was drifting away with school and working on the camero with my dad. So I asked her to teach me to cook. With my knowledge of what was in ingredients and what made them the way they are and how I know how they would react with another, we experimented and bonded."
He thought of his own mother and remembered the times he spent with her. It hadn't been long compared to Tim, but he cherished his time with his mother and he too remembered hanging out with his mother in the kitchen. Midnight snacks of brownies and the calming cup of cocoa when he had a nightmare and went to her for comfort. Seemed like the perfect place for a mother and son to hang out. The mother got to bake or whatever while the son got to help and then eat afterwards. And if a food fight broke out, the better.
"Now every Sunday when we're not on a case I video chat with mom and we make something."
"Part of your schedule?"
Tim paused as he went to take a sip of his coffee and looked at him with blank eyes. He didn't have to think hard on if Tony was playing with him or genuine. He's worked with the man for eight years and he knew his facial expressions. It was why now if Tony wanted to joke with him or pull a prank, he had to do it behind his back. Back when he was a Probie he didn't know Tony and couldn't tell whenever he was joking and being serious. Now he could.
"Yes," he finally answered being taking a drink of his coffee. He and Gibbs have had their own sort of routine when he got out of the hospital. Tim would wake early to make he and Gibbs breakfast, eating silently before Gibbs left and Tim started his day. He usually ended the day by making breakfast for the following day for Gibbs in case he was called to a case before they could eat. He didn't need the words to know that Gibbs appreciated it. It was the way he smirked every time he opened the freezer and saw it there waiting.
Living with Gibbs and his dad had set him back into a routine of when he was a child and he used to help his mom make breakfast and lunch the night before for his dad. His dad had picked up on it and smiled in remembrance.
"About that," Tony said after taking a few more bites of his omelet, the whole thing almost gone, "what can we do to help? You know…to help."
Shrugging, he just said, "Just act normally," he said, not even bothering to bring up that he should probably go back to his apartment. Gibbs already made up his mind that Tim was staying with him during his probation so there was no point arguing with the man. He was the most stubborn man he'd come across and that was something compared to his own father.
"…We do," Tony frowned, glancing at Gibbs who was just silently watching.
"Gibbs and Ducky do, and you do too. To an extent anyway."
"What does that mean?"
"You keep watching me as if I'm going to relapse like some addict and decide to write on myself or disappear."
"You still draw away from us and write in your notebook."
"I need to," he snapped in defense. "I always need to."
"See, right there, I didn't even know. Why don't I know that, Tim? Why don't we know that? Why did you hide your past?"
He glared, feeling defensive of his past decision to hide who he was, completely ignoring how he questioned it himself just yesterday during his doctor's appointment. "Why should I have told you? You already messed with me because of how smart I was and everything else. How would you have reacted if I told you that I didn't have degrees but doctorates and that I have five? How would you have reacted if I told you that before I became your little probie that I was creating things in a lab? How would you have reacted if the new rookie that you already thought shouldn't be an agent told you that he's done thi—"
He stopped as soon as he realized what he was about to say.
Looking at Tony and Gibbs, he suddenly needed to get away. "I'm taking Jethro for a walk," he said and got up, putting his plate in the sink, and after calling Jethro and putting on his leash, he headed out.
A/N: PLEASE REVIEW! They're appreciated.
