A/N: Yay! My first chapter of the new year. Let's all give a hand to AshCarroll aka ShadowDiva who got me off my lazy ass and motivated to write this. It only took me three hours!
Posted: January 1, 2006
Chapter Eight: Lines Not Crossed
"Love?"
"Yes, love," Dr. Wolfe confirmed as she sat down with her patient for another session. Bumblebee had been seeing her once a week for a little over a month now and though the progress had been slow, it was slowly starting to pick up. "Who have you loved in your life?"
Bumblebee sat there a moment before giving her answer. "I've only ever loved two people in my life," she sighed as she continued. "Brother Blood and Aqualad. Aqualad has been everything to me," she smiled at the thought of her best friend. "More than just a friend, but a confidant. We used to share everything."
"You don't now?"
Bumblebee closed her eyes. "I never told him about Blood. I wish I had though. I never wanted him to find out about that until I told him." She looked back to her doctor. "Blood stole that away from me too."
"Tell me, Bee," Dr. Wolfe began carefully. "Why did you allow Blood to have so much power over you?"
"I guess, because I was looking for something," she told her. "And he had made me believe I had found it within him."
"What were you looking for?"
"Funny enough. . . love. Somewhere to belong. To be needed to be wanted," she explained as she spread her wings. "I was born like this," she began slowly. "My parents, well my father, anyway. My mother died giving birth to me. My father blamed me. My childhood was not a happy one." Bumblebee turned her head from the doctor and stared out the window out to the sunny day outside. It seemed to mock her she thought.
"My father was always telling me, I was an embarrassment to him. That he never wanted children in the first place. That I was an accident, but my mother wanted me so badly, and he loved her so much, that he couldn't refuse her. But she was gone now and he was stuck with me. He struck me for the first time when I was seven," Bumblebee stated sadly. "I've fought many villains, been in many battles, but no hit has ever cause me as much pain as his hand on my face. His cold stares and harsh words, are something I could never wish on anyone."
"So how did you end up with Blood?" the doctor probed.
"I was eleven. My father had come home late one night drunk and angry out of his mind. I don't remember anymore," tears slid down her eyes, "but I had done something and he had turned on me. He beat me within an inch of my life and I remember as I took blow after blow, thinking I wanted to be small. So small that he couldn't see me. So small that I could escape without him knowing." She turned back to the doctor. "I guess if you wish for something hard enough, anything can come true. I discovered that night my ability to make myself small and so I escaped. I just flew away. I flew until I could fly no more.
"I had been sleeping on the street for a few nights before I was found by Brother Blood. He asked if I had anyone, if I had a home, if I had parents, somewhere I was wanted. I told him no. He then asked me, if I wanted to be wanted. I told him yes. He then offered me his hand, I took it and for a while, I was happy." Bumblebee smiled.
"He must have seemed like real hero in your eyes."
"He did."
"So what changed? How did it change?"
"Things were good at first. He taught me to be strong, he taught me to fight. He was all that I had, he was my teacher, my friend, he was daddy. Things didn't start to become weird until he entered me into the H.I.V.E. Academy. He also started to work there, saying he wanted to be close to me as I attended school. But Blood never got along with my Headmistress, they disagreed on a lot of teaching methods, but still she named him her Deputy Headmaster.
"The bathing ritual started almost as soon as he arrived. I never really liked the sight of blood, but bathing in it every night kind of gets you over it. I never asked him where he had gotten it from. I didn't want to anger him."
"Bee," Dr. Wolfe began gently. "I know this is still a sensitive subject for you, but I want you to tell me about that first night with Blood."
Bumblebee shook her head as she looked down and pulled at the hem of her skirt, it suddenly feeling shorter than it once was. "I- I don't think I'm ready," she confessed.
"I think you are," Dr. Wolfe encouraged her. "The only way you can truly begin to heal is if you're willing to face head on this issue."
"I know," Bumblebee nodded her head. "I know."
Dr. Wolfe gave her a moment, but as her patient seem to be remaining silent, she spoke. "Maybe we should stop here for now. And pick this up next week," she suggested.
"No!" Bumblebee cried loudly. "I can do it," she assured her. "Just let me try."
Dr. Wolfe nodded and waited for the other to begin.
"I was fourteen," Bumblebee began slowly, her eyes staring off into the distance as she remembered that night. "I was done with my bath and was about to get up to take a shower and prepare to go back to my own quarters within the H.I.V.E. Blood had never touched me before as we bathed, so I looked to him curiously as he took my arm, but I said nothing as he pulled me into his arms. That was the first time I realized how warm he felt," she smiled. "It was nice," she then paused before going on. "He held me, until I relaxed within his hold. He told me to take as long as I wanted and so I did. When I was comfortable I wrapped my arms around this neck and cuddled into him.
"Before I knew it, I was being carried from the bathroom into his private quarters. The red blood trailed behind us as his footstep stained the white carpet. He placed me down gently onto his bed and he kissed me. It was a sweet kiss. I can still remember the taste of metallic from his lips. He then asked me, if I knew what he wanted from me, I nodded. His eyes pierced so deeply into mine as he asked me if this was what I wanted and if it wasn't to let him know. I told him that it was okay, that this was what I wanted too, but," Bumblebee scrunched up her face, "the words didn't feel like my own." She then closed her eyes tightly and shook her head as if there was a thought she didn't want there. "But they were, they were mine," she concluded still shaking her head from side to side. "I'm sorry Dr. Wolfe, but I don't want to go on." Bumblebee then brought her legs up to the couch and wrapped her arms around them. "I think I want to go home."
"Of course," Dr. Wolfe stood up and placed a hand on Bumblebee's shoulder. "You did well today."
Bumblebee smiled weakly at her as she held herself tighter. "I- I don't think- can you call Aqualad to come pick me up?"
"Certainly," she told the young girl and then went to the phone to call the Tower.
A few minutes later Aqualad came through the door of the doctor's office. "Dr. Wolfe-" but before he could say anything else he saw the way Bumblebee had curled up into herself on the couch. "Bee?"
Bumblebee looked at him like she was a dear caught in headlights. She quickly rose from the couch and threw her arms around him. Aqualad blinked rapidly in surprise, but did nothing more but return her hug. "Come on," he whispered. "Let's go home."
OoOoO
Bumblebee was in her room, pacing back and forth anxiously as with every few steps she looked over at her door. Finally, after what felt like ages there came a knock. She rushed over to it and opened it. "You're late," she said angrily as Speedy stood in the doorway. She didn't give him any chance to explain, she didn't want it, as she pulled him into the room by his utility belt.
Before Speedy knew it, Bumblebee's mouth was on his own, as he pressed the pad to close the door. "Wait, hold on," he said after a minutes as he pulled away from her. "I want to talk about something."
Bumblebee wasn't having it. "Later," she told him. "After," she made clear as she once again pressed her lips against his. She slowly guided him over to the bed and she received no further protest from him.
Later on, both laid naked and breathless on top of Bumblebee's bed. Bumblebee smiled contently as she rested on Speedy's chest, her finger twirling around his nipple. "That was-" she panted. "That was- wow," was all she could say. "That thing with your tongue."
"Yeah, thought you'd like that," Speedy said before taking her hand and kissing her palm.
Bumblebee frowned and slowly slipped away her hand as she pulled away. She sat up and reached down on the floor to pick up her shirt to put it on. "You should go, before Aqualad comes looking for one of us."
Speedy sat up on his elbows. "Why are you always so concerned about Fish Boy?" Speedy asked. "He isn't the one you're fucking." Then suddenly, he realized that they never really discussed anything about them being sexually exclusive. "Right?" he added.
Bumblebee laughed as she stood up to find her panties. "Is that jealously in your voice, Speedy? Afraid of a little competition, are we?" she asked him teasingly as she found what she was looking for and slipped them on. "Trust me, you got nothing to worry about there. I'm nowhere near Aqualad's type."
"Where do you go every week?" Speedy suddenly asked out of the blue.
The other Titan turned to him. "That's none of your business."
"Maybe not, but it's hard not to find curious how every Thursday you're gone for about two hours, and when you come back you're ready to jump my bones," a smile spread onto his features as he spoke. "Not that I'm complaining or anything. I just want to know what gets you all hot and bothered."
"Is that what you wanted to talk about? Because if it is you can consider this conversation over." Bumblebee bent over and began picking up Speedy's clothes.
"Stop it, Bee, that's not what I wanted to talk about," he told her as he got up and brought her back to the bed. He laid back down and so she sat on his stomach.
"Then what?" she asked. "What did you want?"
Speedy locked his fingers around her back. "I want to know what we're doing?" he asked her seriously. She looked at him with a cocked eyebrow so he went on. "Are we making something here or am I just here to warm your bed?" he got straight to the point.
"Oh," Bumblebee dropped her head and avoided his mask hidden eyes.
"I'm tired of tip-toeing around the others," he told her before taking a breath and licking his lips. "I want to be your man, Bee," he spoke quietly.
"My what?" Bumblebee couldn't help but laugh. "This coming from our resident so called lady's man?" she asked. "Oh, you're a trip, boy." She continued to giggle.
Speedy laughed along with her. "Yeah, you know me, always the jokester."
Bumblebee smiled as she leaned down to kiss her lover's soft lips adoringly, Speedy sat up to meet her. "I'm going to take a shower. I'll be down for dinner, alright? Oh, and can you cook Menos' favorite? He's been kind of bummed lately. Mas is feeling better, but he isn't up to running without tossing his cookies."
"Yeah, no problem," he responded as she got up and grabbed her things for the bathroom before leaving Speedy alone within her room. Speedy fell back on the pillow and closed his eyes. "Always the jokester," he whispered to himself.
To Be Continued. . .
