Hayes POV
It was tough to go from complete and utter sexual gratification to aloof and distanced professionalism, but I managed to make the transformation.
Sort of.
After Lupo's call, we both dressed quickly and then headed for the door.
"I'm going to have to swing by my place," Bernard said. "I can't go over there in the same clothes I wore last night."
"That's fine," I agreed. "It won't take but a few extra minutes."
I flicked off the lights and then grabbed onto the doorknob, but Bernard stopped me before I could open the door.
"Last night…" he began, and then he trailed off hesitantly as if he wasn't entirely sure what else he wanted to say.
"Did we do something last night?" I asked him as I smiled slowly. "Because I'm not sure if I can remember. You know, because of all that tequila."
"Oh, is that how you're going to play it?" he replied, catching on to my tease. He reached up and lightly grabbed onto my ponytail as he stepped closer to me.
"I think so, yeah. I think maybe tonight we'd better see if we can recreate it…you know, just so that it'll stick out better in my mind."
"Maybe this will spark your memory," he said as he leaned in to kiss me.
It was soft and playful and utterly arousing, and we let it go on for a few minutes before he finally pulled away.
"Anything?" he asked with a quirk of his eyebrow.
"Bits and pieces," I answered, trying to play it off, but the breathlessness of my voice surely gave me away.
If it weren't for the fact that Lupo needed our help, I'd still have him in my bed.
Because, of course, I had perfect recall of every moment of our night together and I found myself having trouble concentrating over the course of the day.
I mean, I did concentrate.
And I thought I made several astute determinations about the relationship between Connie's stalker and our killer.
But any time I had a few minutes of time for my mind to wander, it went straight back to last night.
Honestly, I hadn't planned on things progressing so quickly. When I invited him up, I'd been sincere in my request.
I'd simply wanted to kiss him without the restrictiveness of the vehicle.
But I'd underestimated the effect he'd have on me, and within minutes of getting him inside, all I could think about was taking it to the next level.
And maybe I wasn't being fair to him, considering I hadn't offered full disclosure about certain, personal aspects of my life.
I hoped that my impulsiveness wouldn't come back to bite me in the ass, but at the moment, I had to shove that worry out of my mind.
We'd get around to talking more. I definitely wanted him as more than just a means of relieving sexual tension, so the deep, revealing conversations would surely come to pass before too much longer.
I recognized the possibility that maybe I was trying to preclude getting dumped…I was trying to make sure that he really liked me before I opened up with the backstory that always, without fail, sent men packing.
I had to hang on to the hope that Bernard was different, but in case he wasn't, I suppose I wanted to allow myself some selfish pleasure before he called it quits.
We'd been working in Cutter's office for almost an hour when my cell phone rang. I decided that it was a good time to stretch my legs, so I stepped outside to answer the call.
"Hayes."
"It's Alex. I only have a minute, but I need you to do me a favor."
"Sure," I answered, although I couldn't imagine what kind of favor that she'd be asking of me.
Carolyn was usually her go-to girl, followed by Liz.
"If Carolyn doesn't call you within the next couple of hours, call her," she said firmly.
"Okay," I replied quickly.
I had no idea about the purpose of the call, but I figured I would play it by ear.
I also grasped what Alex didn't say.
This call wasn't going to be common knowledge. In fact, I was pretty sure that it would just be between me and Carolyn and Alex.
"Thanks, I'll owe you," she replied.
She was going to owe me.
As if I didn't already owe her for…well, for all kinds of things.
Ultimately, it had been her willingness to bring me and Eames in on the Tomlin case that had set my life on a different course.
I now had friends.
And I had Bernard.
And I had a nice feather in my jacket from that case.
Alex could've just as easily taken that case and walked out of the 2-7 without looking back.
And yeah, Eames was her brother, so I had no doubt that he was the reason she wanted to help.
But still…she and Goren had taken us both under their wings, leading by example and patiently explaining their thought processes as the four of us worked together to catch the killer.
And I was well aware that I had a bad case of hero-worship, but I figured if I was going to model myself after someone, then she was a good candidate.
I went back into Cutter's office and ignored Bernard's questioning look.
"Do we have anything yet?" I asked as I sat down and picked up my stack of files.
"We really need Connie here for this," Cutter said. "I mean, we can't even definitively weed out the females, so the list isn't shrinking much just from pulling out the ones who weren't here on Friday. But if she can think about anyone who maybe tried to strike up a conversation with her, or was staring at her…"
"You think he's going to be that blatant?" Lupo asked.
"I'd bet it started out that way," Bernard said. "An innocent infatuation. And then when she rebuffed him, it turned into something ugly."
"Are we completely off the theory that it's someone she put away?" Cutter asked.
"I'd say it's definitely back-burner," I replied. Lupo and Bernard both nodded, and then Lupo checked his watch.
"I think I'm going to drive down to Baltimore," he said. "I'm going to ask her about it."
"You know, you don't have to make the drive. There is such a thing as phones, Detective," Cutter said, and I was surprised to see that he was joking with Lupo. Cutter seemed like such a no-nonsense guy, and I wouldn't have guessed that he had a sense of humor.
"Yeah, I've heard of those," Lupo joked back as he stood up and grabbed his jacket. "But they're not good for anything but talking."
"Get out of here," Cutter said, waving him off. "You want me to meet you back here tomorrow?"
Bernard and I got up, too, and Cutter walked us all to the door.
"I'll be back in town around noon," Lupo said.
"Okay. I'll be here."
"He's nicer than I expected," I admitted as we got onto the elevator and headed for the lobby.
"He's a work in progress," Lupo replied.
"He had a thing for Connie," Bernard added.
"Oh. Did they date?"
"No, but not for lack of trying on his part."
"Well, I'd say that he's being a good sport about coming up short."
We parted ways with Lupo in the parking garage, and then Bernard turned to me.
"Are you up for going into 1PP for a little while? I've got some thoughts about our ADA killer. I figured as long as we're in work mode, maybe we can run down a few electronic leads."
So we went to work and started scouring through the life of Amanda Evans.
She was the married women who was sleeping with both Powers and Gingrich.
Bernard hadn't mentioned what he was hoping to find. I think he wanted to validate his theory by having me reach the same conclusion.
Although, so far, I hadn't reached anything.
At five o'clock, my cell phone rang, so I begged off work for a moment and slipped into an empty conference room to answer it.
It was Carolyn. She'd taken it down to the last half-hour before I was supposed to call her.
"Hayes," I answered, trying to decide if I was supposed to pretend like I wasn't expecting her call.
"It's Carolyn. Am I catching you at a bad time?"
"I'm at 1PP, but I'm past due for a break."
"Alex called you, didn't she?"
I really wished that I knew both of them well enough to know how to answer that question, but I didn't.
And then I decided that maybe I did.
Because they were both extremely honest people.
"Yes," I answered.
"How much longer did I have?" she asked, sounding slightly amused.
"Thirty minutes," I replied. "Is everything okay?"
"No, not really," she admitted on a sigh. "I could use an unbiased ear. How much longer are you going to be working?"
"I'm not sure. We're on our own time, so I can leave whenever."
"Bernard is with you?"
"Not right at the moment, but yeah, we're working together."
"Maybe you could come by my place."
"Okay," I said slowly, already racking my brain to decide what I would tell Bernard.
I was pretty sure that I didn't like all of this subterfuge, but it must be important, and since Carolyn was seemingly willing to trust me, I wasn't going to let her down.
"Do you guys have plans for dinner?" she asked me.
"Not so far."
"Let's get together, the four of us. Come on over to my house first and we'll have a drink or something. Tell Bernard to meet us at Steve-O's in a couple of hours."
So I hung up with Carolyn and went back into the squad room.
"Carolyn and Logan want to have dinner with us tonight," I said quietly.
"That works," he agreed, still reading something on his computer.
"So…I'm going to head home and clean up a little and then I'll meet you at Steve-O's, okay? Seven-thirty?"
He pulled his eyes away from his monitor and looked at me curiously.
"Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, it's fine. I'm just…well, I didn't get to shower this morning, and I should at least pat Janis on the head for a minute before ditching her again."
"Okay," he agreed. "Seven-thirty. I'm going to finish looking over Amanda's credit card statements, and then I'll get out of here, too."
I left him and headed for the elevator, but on the way down, I sent Bernard a text. I didn't want him to think that my hasty departure had anything to do with him.
Bring a change of clothes. We can spend the day together tomorrow not working.
I took the subway home and made over Janis, and then I breezed in and out of the shower. I was back at the subway station twenty minutes after leaving it, heading for Carolyn's house.
I couldn't imagine what was going on with her, and I felt bad that she had to talk to me by default, but at the same time, I was glad that she felt like she could.
"Hayes," Logan greeted after I knocked on their door. He was barefoot, and dressed in shorts and a t-shirt. "Come on in. Carolyn said you might stop by. Where's Bernard?"
"He was finishing up with credit card statements on our victims' mistress," I said as he stood back and let me into their place. "He'll meet us at Steve-O's."
"Yeah, how's that ADA thing coming?"
"It's stalled at the moment, but we'll get it. Connie got another threat last night."
"She did?" Carolyn asked as she came into the room. "What kind of threat?"
So I told them about the email and how we'd spent half the day in the DA's office.
"I'm with you," Carolyn agreed. "They don't sound related."
"Uh huh," Logan said with a nod. "The other guys didn't get any threats. And Connie's threats started even before the first murder. Why threaten her and then kill two different people?"
"Exactly."
"I'm going to go jump in the shower," Logan said. "I've got sand in unmentionable areas."
"You guys went to the beach?" I asked Carolyn after Logan went upstairs.
"Long Beach," she said, and her lightheartedness from moments ago was completely gone. "Come on, let's go in the kitchen. Do you want a drink?"
"No, I'm fine," I declined. I followed her into the kitchen and waited while she poured herself a stiff drink.
"Thanks for coming over," she said. "I'm at a loss as to what to do."
"Tell me how I can help."
"I can't go into the whole backstory now, because we don't have enough time, but…"
And then she told me about how a former lover planned to blackmail her.
He hadn't yet told her what she would need to do for him, but whatever it was, it was in exchange for him not showing photos to Logan.
"But they're old," I reminded her.
I didn't want to think that she was worried about how something so long in the past might effect how Logan looked at her. Because as far as I was concerned, they were the ideal couple, and if Logan couldn't handle an unsavory past…
"He internalizes things," she explained. "It's not that he'd be upset with me about them, but they'd be forever burned in his mind. I don't want to hurt him like that."
What would Bernard say if he knew about my past? Or should I even tell him? It wasn't the same as this, but…
I had to force myself to keep this about her.
"What do you think this guy wants?" I asked.
"I have no idea, but he mentioned attempting to ruin my life. He also commented on the lack of statute of limitations on murder, but I don't have a clue what he's talking about with that. It's almost like he's throwing things out just to keep me guessing."
I stood still for a moment, unsure of what type of advice to offer.
"I think I'll take that drink now," I said, so she refilled her glass and poured one for me, too.
"I don't like keeping secrets from him. But this time, I don't think I can tell him the truth."
"This guy's going to call you on Monday?"
"That's what he said. He wanted me to stew about it over the weekend."
"Then I would wait and see what it is that he wants before you decide whether or not to tell him. Although…you know, maybe not. He's got the pictures. Do you really think that giving in to the blackmail will make those go away? You're always going to wonder where he's lurking, when he's going to pop up next."
"So I should tell him."
"He loves you. As much as you're trying to protect him, he'll want to do the same for you against this guy. Wouldn't you want him to tell you if it was the other way around?"
"But what if he sees those pictures and…I don't know...never looks at me the same way again?"
"They can't be that bad. And besides, you don't have to show them to him. Just tell him they exist."
"He'll want to kill Jack. Hell, I want to kill him and I'm the calm one."
"So maybe you set him up. Pretend like you're going to go along with it until you know more about his plans and then take him out. Besides, he's on probation, so any little infraction can send him off to prison."
"But that worries me, because it means that whatever else he's going to hold over me is something that he's confident will keep me from talking."
"Neither of you have broken a law. He can spout off about statutes all he wants to, but he can't get you on something you didn't do."
She nodded thoughtfully, and then we heard Logan coming down the stairs.
"Thanks, Lauren," she said quietly. "It's something to think about. I needed someone who could think rationally about this because I'm bordering on freaked out."
"You wouldn't know it to look at you."
"Are you ladies ready?" Logan asked as he came in the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around Carolyn and leaned down to kiss her cheek.
"Let's go."
The three of us walked down the street to Steve-O's, and the two of them teased and bickered good-naturedly with each other the entire way. They were so cute together, but I couldn't help but worry about my own relationship.
Bernard wasn't in love with me.
We didn't have years of history together.
So if she was so worried about Logan's response to her past, then how in the world was Bernard going to respond to mine?
TBC...
