'I can't believe it, your first date,' Mercedes squealed.

'What did your Dad say when you told him?' Rachel asked.

We were sitting in my bedroom. Tonight was my first date with Josh, and to say I was nervous was the understatement of the century. I was surprised when he called me two nights ago, I still couldn't understand why someone would be interested in me. Maybe it was all just a practical joke.

'Well... he kind of went quiet and then Carole asked me some questions and that was that really.'

'Where did you meet him?' Rachel asked.

'Lima Bean,' I answered Rachel's question, without really thinking. I regretted it immediately though.

'What were you doing in Lima Bean?' Mercedes asked, frowning at me. 'That's nowhere near McKinley.'

'Oh, just... meeting a friend there.'

'What friend?'

Change the subject, change the subject… 'So anyway, have you guys got any advice for me?'

'During dinner, don't talk with your mouth full,' Rachel said. 'That's not an attractive quality.'

'And don't talk too much about yourself,' Mercedes added. 'Ask him questions.'

'Compliment him on something when you get there.'

'Offer to pay half.'

'Don't order anything that has garlic in it.'

'Say you had a good time, even if it's not true.'

'Don't eye up other guys.'

'Make sure you-'

'Ok, ok you can stop now, this is not helping the nerves,' I groaned. I felt even more anxious about the date now.

'It's just a date,' Rachel said to me. 'Treat it like a performance, as Mr Schue would say, it's your chance to shine.'

'O...kay.'

When they both left an hour later, I sighed with relief. I know they mean well but it was all a bit too much. I needed my own space. I turned from the front door to see my Dad standing in the hallway, looking at me. Uh-oh.

'So,' Dad said, putting his hands in his pockets and looking extremely uncomfortable. 'What's this... John guy like then?'

'Josh.'

'Right, Josh. So what's he like?'

'I don't know him Dad. I've only met him once.'

'Ok... but you like him?'

'I... I'll find out tonight. It's just dinner, no big deal.'

'I thought you said this was your first ever date?'

'It is,' I shrugged.

'Well then it is a big deal Kurt. You'll always remember your first date.'

'Well like I said, I don't really know him, so...'

'I got you these,' Dad said after clearing his throat nervously. He pulled a box of condoms out from his pocket and held them out for me to take, not quite meeting my eye. I felt my face burn. Oh. My. God. This was not happening. I eventually spoke when my brain managed to remember how to form words other than eughalkbfadco.

'Jesus Dad... I don't need-'

'Take them. I really hope you're responsible enough not to sleep with this guy, but I want you to be safe Kurt. Too many young kids get into trouble these days because they're too afraid to go the drugstore or ask their parents… so just…'

I'd never been so embarrassed in all my life. Without looking at him, I grabbed the condoms quickly, shoving them into my own pocket and walked off towards the stairs, wanting to go and bury my face in a pillow and never return.

'Hang on,' Dad called out. I turned to face him. 'There's a couple of years life on them, so I'm hoping they'll all be expired by the time you actually open the box.'

He smiled a little. Oh my God, I can't believe my Dad was joking about sex with me. 'Whatever.'

'And Kurt, if there's going to be a second date; I'll need to meet him.'

'Dad,' I sighed.

'Don't Dad me, that's the deal.'

'Ok... can I go now?'

'Yes.'

I ran up the stairs and into my room. I was about to dive under the duvet covers when I saw my phone was flashing on the bedside table. There was a text from Blaine. Are you looking forward to your date? x

I'm really nervous actually :( I could do with a pep talk :) Kx

Come over to mine if you've got time, the folks are out x


'...and after Rachel and Mercedes left, my Dad gave me condoms... I mean, what was he thinking? I was mortified Blaine, mortified.'

I was pacing Blaine's living room floor, babbling away and talking nonsense whilst he sat on the sofa, smiling at me and looking thoroughly amused. I was in a bit of a state, I was meeting Josh in ninety minutes.

'He's looking out for you Kurt, I'm sure it was just as mortifying for him too… and things happen, it's just a fact.'

'God, does he really think I'm stupid enough to just jump into bed with the first guy I...'

I stopped myself from talking and stood still. Shit. My brain was remembering when Blaine told me about losing his virginity last year to a complete stranger during a drunken romp. Oh me and my big fucking mouth.

'Sorry... I didn't mean it to sound like that.'

'Forget about it,' he smiled.

'But-'

'Kurt, really, it doesn't matter. Why don't you come and sit down?'

'I've never been on a date before,' I said sounding totally pathetic.

'You'll be fine,' Blaine tried to reassure me.

'Maybe I should call him and cancel,' I panicked. 'Or send a text. Would that be rude?'

'Kurt, if you do that then the next time will just be even harder. Whether you end up liking this guy or not, it'll be a good experience for you.'

'I feel sick,' I sighed. 'What if it's a trap?'

'It won't be.'

'But what if it is?'

'Then kick him in the nether regions and walk off.'

'What shall I do if he tries to kiss me?'

'Kiss him back,' Blaine laughed.

'But what if I'm rubbish at it, what if-'

'Hey, relax. Take a few deep breaths.'

I did just that, feeling slightly better. I sat down on the sofa next to Blaine, my head bent down. Blaine kneeled in front of me and took my hands in his. My heart was beating fast against my chest. Blaine and I had never had this before, the touchy feely thing. I know we had that dance in Rachel's garden but I still couldn't be sure whether it was genuinely a comfortable experience for him or not after all I'd practically insisted on it. His hands felt warm and soft and he calmly rubbed his thumbs in circles. I kept my eyes on them as Blaine talked.

'Kurt, listen to me. It's normal to feel nervous. Josh is probably feeling nervous too and right at this moment is wondering what to do with his hair or whether he should wear the blue or the red top.'

'Blue would go better with his eyes,' I whispered and Blaine laughed.

'You're gonna be amazing and if doesn't fall in love with you by the end of the meal then he's clearly got something wrong with him.'

I laughed at that. They were just words but I appreciated them all the same. I looked up and met Blaine's gorgeous eyes staring into mine. I hadn't realised how close we were. He was so handsome. It was such a shame he was hiding in the closet, he'd be a brilliant boyfriend to someone... and he would be one day, once he broke free of his parent's homophobic curse.

I don't really know what come over me, my gaze drifted from his eyes to his lips and I leaned forwards slightly as though to kiss him, but then my head caught up with my body and asked me what the hell I was doing.

I pulled my hands out of his and looked away from him. 'Blaine, I'm so sorry.'

'Kurt... it's ok... really,' he replied quietly.

'But I nearly-'

'Don't worry about it.'

'My brain is just not functioning at the moment… I'm really sorry.'

Blaine stood up and I looked at him cautiously. He didn't look angry, thank goodness. What was I thinking of? What if I had kissed him?

'Would you like a drink, some Dutch Courage before your date?' Blaine asked me, smiling.

What? Oh, Josh, I'd momentarily forgotten all about him. 'Um, yeah that would be a great help. Just a small one though cos I'm driving.'


I was at the restaurant with Josh. We'd ordered, had our starters and were waiting for our mains to arrive. My nerves had been completely unjustified of course; he was a nice guy, cute and easy to talk to.

'...so it's just me and my Mom, my Dad died when I was two. My sister Lucy is twenty five; she lives in Seattle with her husband.'

'Do you get to see her much?' I asked, taking a sip of my diet coke.

'Not much, she's a Lawyer so it's hard for her to get time off. But we go to Seattle sometimes. How about you? Siblings?'

'No... well I have a step brother. My Dad married his Mom.'

'My Mom's getting married in a few weeks, in the Caribbean. I can't wait.'

'Sounds great,' I replied.

'Have you ever been there?'

'Where?'

'The Caribbean.'

'Oh, no I haven't. I've never even been on a plane.'

'Kurt, you... you don't really want to be here do you?' Josh asked with a disappointed look in his eyes.

Oh crap. Was I really giving off such strong vibes? My mind was preoccupied with Blaine, but I thought I'd hidden it well. 'Oh no, of course I do,' I tried to clarify quickly with a smile.

'Are you sure? Please me honest with me.'

'I like you Josh… I really like you and I'm having a lot of fun, it's just…'

'What? You can tell me.'

'I'm not sure if I'm ready to... you know, go on dates and stuff. I don't want to mess anyone around.'

'Why would you be messing me around?'

I sighed and felt my cheeks getting warm. God, this was going to sound so childish. 'There's a guy, and nothing's ever going to happen... but...'

'You can't stop thinking about him?' Josh asked and I nodded. 'Is it the straight guy you were at Lima Bean with?'

'Yeah, him.'

'I've been there before. I liked this guy who was straight and I was so besotted. Do you know how I got over him?'

'How?' I asked, genuinely intrigued.

'I started dating someone I met at a friend's party. We were only together a few weeks before he went off to University, but it's what I needed to move on.'

'Is it really that simple?' I asked hopefully.

'Maybe,' he shrugged. 'It might work, it might not... what's the harm in trying?'

'But I don't want to hurt anyone.'

'Look, we've only just met and this is our first date. It's not like we're about to run off to Vegas and get dogs, cats and adopt a baby... how about we just... hang out a bit... if things don't work out romantically... well hopefully we've both made a friend out of it. What do you say?'

'Yeah, ok... sounds good,' I smiled, feeling myself instantly relax more. Maybe this was the way to get my feelings for Blaine under control. 'I'm sorry I've been a bit… quiet and stuff... that's really not me at all.'

'No worries. You know, you're really cute when you smile.'

'Thanks,' I replied shyly. 'You are too... so... are you allowed to take a date with you to the Caribbean?'

Josh laughed and threw a napkin at me. 'You'll have to wait and see won't you.'


When we left the restaurant about two hours later, Josh insisted on walking me over to my car. We stopped by the driver's side and smiled awkwardly at each other.

'I had a great time,' Josh said.

'Me too,' I replied. 'And I'm not just saying that.'

Josh beamed at me and then he was slowly leaning towards me. My heart stopped beating as Josh's lips landed on mine. It was brief, it was soft and it felt really nice. When he pulled back we both laughed nervously.

'Was that ok?' he asked. Feeling bold, I reached up a hand to Josh's neck and returned the kiss before looking into his eyes.

'Does that answer your question?'

'You might have to run it past me again,' Josh smirked.

I don't know who initiated it this time, but suddenly we were kissing, arms wrapped around each other. A tiny thought entered my head wondering what it would be like if Blaine kissed me like this, but I pushed it away. We parted eventually, both of us breathing deeply. I'm sure I was blushing beetroot red.

'What do you say to hanging out next weekend?' Josh asked.

'Um... yeah I'd like that.'

'I'll call you.'

'You better,' I retorted.

Josh reached out for my hand and squeezed it briefly before walking away to his own car. When he got there he turned around and we exchanged smiles and waves to each other.

It wasn't until I was doing my seatbelt up a couple of minutes later that I noticed my phone on the passenger seat. I hadn't even realised I'd left it in the car. I must have been super nervous, I never go anywhere without my phone.

There were text messages from Mercedes and Rachel dying to hear more about Josh. There were also two text messages from Blaine, one from before the date and another just twenty minutes ago.

Good Luck, knock him dead and be yourself :) x

How did the date go? Was he nice? Did you kiss? Are you going to see him again? Am I asking too many questions? Call me asap :) x

I laughed. Blaine was so sweet. It didn't really seem right to gush about my date with someone who was terrified of dating guys himself, but Blaine seemed keen to know the details, so why not. Unless he was just being polite? I dialed his number and he picked up almost immediately.

'Hey, how did it go?'

'Yeah, it was really good. He's great. I'm seeing him again next week.'

There were a few seconds of silence before Blaine answered. 'That's... great Kurt.'

Hmm, so the text had just been out of politeness then. Blaine either wasn't really interested in hearing about Josh, or he didn't like the reminder that dating guys is what he should be doing. I should change the subject.

'So what are you doing? Are you at home?'

'Yeah, my parents are about to arrive back from a dinner party. They're bringing some guests for a few drinks so I'm just practicing my fake smiles.'

'Oh god, that sounds really boring.'

'It will be.'

'Anyway, I'm about to drive home so... I'll see you at school on Monday?'

'Sure... see ya Kurt.'

'Bye Blaine.'