They reached the library and he gestured for her to precede him. He watched her face as she walked in and he was not disappointed in her reaction. Her eyes widened and her mouth gaped as she slowly turned around to see all of the magically expanded room. "It's huge!" she gasped, "much larger even than the one at Grimmauld Place – and that one took generations to build up." She beamed at him with delight. "Oh, Severus!" she said, overcome with an emotion that only true bookworms could understand. Just then the sun decided to come out from behind the clouds and a beam shone in from a high window. Hermione stood in the middle of his favorite room in the house, surrounded with books, highlighted with sunbeams, her eyes were shining in joy, and a gentle smile gracing her lips. Severus thought, at that moment, that he had never seen anything so beautiful as the sight before him and something stirred deep within him. Something he had not felt in a long time, and he started to wonder if …
"Quidditch books, really, Severus?" her amused voice interrupted his musings. He realized that he must have closed his eyes without thinking. He opened them to see her trailing her finger along the spines of several books on an eye level shelf and wondered briefly what if would feel like if she did that to him…He shook his head at the thought. What was it about being in this room with her? Books and a beautiful intelligent woman – what a combination! He took a deep breath to steady his thoughts and answered her.
"Actually, those were given to me by Draco. He was quite incensed to realize that I had none of my own when I moved here and he helped me to unpack. In fact, I don't know what hit my godson the hardest - the lack of Quidditch books or the fact that I refused to unpack my books with magic and we had to do it all by hand."
"I bet," she said with a little bit of a snort and shook her head at the thought that Draco didn't sound like he had changed very much since their school days. "Actually, I believe that Quidditch books and Ana's fashion magazines are probably the only residents of Viktor's library. It's quite depressing, really."
"What a shame," Severus said sincerely, his lips curling into a distasteful sneer at the thought of Hermione stuck with someone who could not appreciate a well stocked library. Then he realized that someone else had been mentioned, too. "Who is Ana?" he asked curiously.
"Oh, She's Viktor's wife," she answered absently as she continued to explore the shelves. For some reason, Severus felt his heart skip pleasantly at this news. "I quite like her! Don't tell Ron, but she reminds me of a nicer, quieter, Lavender Brown. They have a beautiful little daughter, Tsveta. It means "flower." I'm her godmother, actually, so having to relocate to Bulgaria will at least have one bright spot. I will get to spend more time with her. She is not even two yet, but her magic is already manifesting. It's one of the reasons why I decided to become a private Magic tutor for children too young to go to Durmstrang or Beauxbatons once I get there. It is the kind of job that should also help me to keep my head down and to stay out of trouble. Not that you would ever know it, but sometimes I have difficulty with that!"
Severus allowed himself a little snort of amusement at that major understatement! However, he then realized that at those words, she seemed to remember why she was there in the first place. She turned, with obvious reluctance, from the shelves in order to go and sit on the sofa in the middle of the room. Severus couldn't help but to gulp to see her in the very spot where he had fantasized her being. It wasn't even a sexual fantasy, so he didn't know why if affected him so strongly. However, affect him it did! He had to gulp again, when she patted the seat next to her and gestured for him to sit down. "I believe that you said you wanted to talk." She said this pleasantly enough, but her tone was now more guarded than before.
"Since we have already shared our escape plans, I gather that this is the 'satisfy your curiosity about my life by chatting like old friends' conversation." She muttered the Tempus spell to check the time, and smiled slightly. "Okay, I estimate that I have about two hours before I have to leave to get to get my banking done before they close. Then I can catch my ride. I could deal with some pleasant conversation until then." She looked over at him curiously. "I guess that you are not planning to leave anytime soon, then?"
"Well, I wasn't - not quite yet, at any rate. I can't help but to wonder, though, why do you feel like you need to leave today?" he asked, hesitantly. She then told him her suspicions about the Ministry engagement records. He nodded. "You are probably right," he stated grimly. "However, accordingly to this idea, we should be fine – for the time being - as long as we don't actually verbally or formally deny anything."
"I hope that you are right, but I worry about the role that intent could play. Since you intend to deny this marriage, as is your right, I am afraid that will show up in the records - even without an actual verbal denial. Unfortunately, there is no way to know, for sure. That is why I am prepared to make a run for it, tonight – just in case. It would not be such a big deal, except for the fact that I have a suspicion that an unadvertised Obliviate await those who reject the law and choose to leave the wizarding world. I'm positive that they are not going to allow a bunch of ex-magicals to run around Muggle England unsupervised with all of this powerful knowledge still in their heads. That's why we shouldn't wait for them to find us first. We need to leave while we still have our magic and our memory intact."
"I had the same thought," Severus said as he looked, regretfully, over at the witch. The war had obviously tainted her childhood and her innocence, he thought. She grew up planning, fighting, expecting the worst and often getting it. It had also been harder on her than it had on others her age, though, because she had to be the brains of the Golden Trio and protect Harry Potter all those years - at all costs. Was it any wonder that she was so jaded and suspicious now? Wasn't it even more of a shame that it was proven that she had to be? The country that she had given up her childhood to protect, turned against her, and tried to force her to choose between her magic and memory or marriage to him! The thought was bitter because it is common knowledge that the truth often hurts. What was even worse was when a particular thought came out of nowhere to smack him right between the eyes. The Ministry wasn't forcing her to run away…he was! She had already agreed to marry him. He was the one who couldn't seem to do the same – no matter how fantastic she was. It was all his fault! He was the reason that this beautiful and brilliant witch was going to have to run, hide, and be dependent on a married, quidditch-crazed, foreign wizard while she basically babysat children with out-of-control magic. He wondered if she thought of it that way – especially since the law was worded in such a way that she could technically make him agree to marry her. However, she was too good of a person to do that…and now she was going to pay for it.
Why can't I just say yes to her? he thought seriously. It would solve both of our problems. She is everything that I could ever want in a witch – and so much more! She is young, beautiful, brilliant, brave, talented, literate, funny, trustworthy… the list could go on and on.
"Severus? Are you alright?" her sweet, concerned voice broke into his thoughts. "I thought I had lost you for a minute."
"Just thinking about the fact that this house is unplottable, you know." He prevaricated a bit – not wanting to tell her what was really on his mind. She looked up in surprise at this. "That should buy us some additional time, as well, since the dunderheads at the Ministry won't be able to find it easily."
"Your house is unplottable? How did I miss that?" Hermione exclaimed in surprise. She grabbed her bag, muttered a spell to open it, and said, "Accio, Ministry Marriage Law letter." She giggled, and even he had to smile, when two letters landed on her lap – the one that flew out of her bag and the one that worked its way out of his pocket. She smirked and handed his letter back to him. "Sorry, I should have worded that better, I guess. Anyway, I suppose that I was so relieved after seeing your name that I just didn't read the rest of my letter. Let's see…" She was so busy unfolding the letter that she didn't see the look of pure astonishment on Severus's face.
"Please excuse me for a moment," he said quietly. "I will … go get us some tea while you read your letter." Relieved at having an excuse to leave, he quickly fled the room. He had to think about what she had just said.
She had been relieved to see my name! Me? The Death Eater? The Greasy Git? The Dungeon Bat? Snivellus? The potions professor who made her classes hell? Someone she hadn't seen in three years? She was relieved at the thought of marrying me? She knows who and what I am… and she still felt relief? These were all tough questions, but the next one was even tougher. After all of this … why am I still willing to let her go?
He made the tea without using magic in order to give himself some time to think. What in Merlin's name is wrong with me? Am I afraid of the witch – or what she represents? Don't I deserve this? Then it came to him. No, I do not deserve marriage to such a wonderful woman. I should be alone.The only problem is that I am also punishing her in the process of punishing myself. She doesn't deserve to go into a life of exile just because I am not worthy of her.
Maybe I am just afraid…I have been alone practically my whole life…Am I capable of learning how to live my life in such a drastically different way? Can I let someone else in? With this thought, he brought the tea to the woman who had brought such chaos to his normally highly disciplined mind. Maybe I should… talk… to her about this? The thought was terrifying!
