AN: Hope you enjoy 😊
Kuon 5 – A Breakfast Date
I'm so nervous about meeting her this way. Maybe it doesn't matter, especially if she doesn't know that it's me then it really doesn't matter but I'm nervous about opening myself up to her. I keep trying to repeat to myself that this is the best thing for the both of us. I'm an old man and she is a beautiful young woman with a bright future in front of her. She is destined to be the actress who represents Japan but at the same time, if she were an older lady then I would want to be beside her. I would want to help her and care for her. It would just be as if she had an illness. I would never leave her because of cancer and I would never leave her because of a faster-than-normal aging process.
I take a deep breath to steady myself. You can do this Kuon, you can be calm and confident.
I walk in to the café, I'm glad that she was able to meet me so early so that nobody would be around. It's not even seven and yet she was able to accommodate an old man because that's the type of person that she is. That's the woman I married.
I pause as I see a male model that I've worked with only a couple of times standing opposite her. I see the way they match one another and that blocks my hearing. They fit. I could see a cute holiday card with the two of them on it. They would look so much better together than I could look with her.
I shift nervously wondering whether to leave or not and then finally the words that she's saying hit my ears. "My husband died a few days ago. Leave me the hell alone." She says and for a moment turns back to the old Kyoko and that's what makes me laugh. I feel so much pain in my heart but the laughter is relief. It's okay if I'm hurt, at least she can go back to being the confident woman she's always been.
"Can we help you?" the model asks and Kyoko stands up. She looks panicked. "Me and my soon to be girlfriend are enjoyi-"
I look at the two of them and leave. Getting upset or angry would give it all away and make her unhappy. The very last thing that I want is to be the reason as to why she's unhappy. I hear her slap the model and look down wondering if I would have ever got that treatment if I had been something other than her sempai.
She grabs my arm before putting her hand on my upper arm. I see her crying and I feel my heart tug. Did I upset her? Does she think that I'm judging her?
"Takagawa-san," she sobs and it's killing me not to throw my arms around her and pull her to my chest. "It's not like that. He's not my boyfriend. I love my husband," she tells me and I have to keep pushing through and pretending. I turn to her with a weak smile.
"Your love life is no bui—" I begin though it's making my heart twist saying these words.
Kyoko interrupts me. "It should be," she tells me before throwing her arms around me. She knows it's me. I don't know how she did it but it seems like she knows everything. I shouldn't be surprised because she is more intelligent than I am but I'm disappointed. My skills as an actor are apparently very weak. "I know," she tells me confirming my fear.
I have to hope she means something else, she very very likely does not mean something else but I have to hope for it, "You…know…what?" I ask her slowly as I take a look around.
"May we go somewhere else?" she asks me and holds my hand. I nod and stumble slightly, she helps me stand as she puts her arm around my waist. I'm not the young man that I once was. I go to where there is a bench in a low-traffic area and sit with her. She's going to reject me, right? She's going to tell me that I'll hurt her career and then never want to see me again.
"You know…what?" I ask her and she looks at me with tears in her eyes. Is she afraid of me? She should just do it quickly, one quick chop or cut and sever our relationship.
"I wanted to pretend," she tells me, "for your sake. I wanted to pretend not to know but you're not that different than you were before especially in your eyes." She bows her head and I have to kick myself mentally, if I had only dug out color contacts then it would have been easier to hide from her. My eye color is very unique compared to the rest of the people living in this country. I see her trying to breathe slowly and I hate how this is hurting her.
"I'm sorry, but," I begin. She knows the truth, maybe if I start then it won't be so painful for both of us, "I'm an old man now, you should be wi -"
"I love you," she cuts me off again and I see the tears running down her cheeks. I grab a handkerchief. I'm always weak when she's crying, always unable to ignore her. I want her to be happy. Her health and happiness matters most to me, I will always prioritize her above myself. "I haven't run away from you. I want to be with you."
"If this is pity," I tell her and she gets up, crouching in front of me in the dirt. She puts a hand up to my cheek and then, without warning, kisses me. I want to embrace this kiss since it might be my last one. It feels strangely like all of the other kisses that she gives me. It feels right.
"My sweet Corn," she says and I have to cup her hand. I want to feel her warmth. I want to enjoy everything about her, every moment, every physical feature, every word. I just want to have enough of her that I'll never forget her. "I love you," she whispers again. "I don't care how old you are. I don't care about the age difference. You're my prince. I don't want another prince and you know how stubborn I can get," she runs her thumb over my cheek. "What happened?"
I feel guilty saying this but she can read me like an open script, she can see through my lies she's always had that power. Yeah, I should have suspected she had seen through this. "I was offered a choice to sacrifice my youth for your life. That still….you know if you…our age difference." I look down. I want to still give her the option of running. If running is what would be best for her then…
"Don't break my heart," she pleads with me, "I won't be able to take it if you break my heart, not you."
I feel confused, hopeful and excited but still confused. "You want to be with me?" I have to ask her. It doesn't make sense in my mind but it's as if she's throwing me a life line. "I'm an old man, my needs are different, you should be with…"
She stands and grabs my face before kissing my forehead, she looks at me with such stubborn love behind her eyes. "Would you want to stay with me if our situations were switched?" she asks and I wonder if she somehow knew I was thinking about that earlier. I nod. She starts to laugh softly, "We can be together?" she asks and I nod. It's a hard decision to make but I want to try at least. I don't want to run from her.
I sigh, "Can we go and get breakfast?" I ask her and she tries to brush her tears away.
"Of course, sweetheart," she says to me and takes my hand, helping me to my feet. "Of course. Let's get you something to eat."
…..
…..
I'm embarrassing her. I thought that maybe if I ordered something small and simple to eat, a black coffee and a blueberry muffin that she would be able to not have attention drawn to her but I turned out to embarrass her again. I can't get the wrapper off of this muffin.
Kyoko looks at me and reaches her hand out, her eyes never losing contact with mine and she slowly takes the muffin out of my hands. She sets it down on the plate in front of me and takes off the wrapper. I reach for it nervously and with the one hand that isn't holding part of it, she takes it and kisses the back of it.
"Please don't avoid asking for my help," she tells me as she runs her thumb over my hand. "I know that you're going to have difficulty sometimes. If there's a way that I can help you through it, then let me know. I want you to let me help you."
"Help me unwrap a muffin wrapper?" I sigh and she leans forward.
"There is nothing too small, there is nothing insignificant, if you are having trouble with something then I want to take care of you. Maybe you could hire me to take care of you," she grins and I sigh. She lets go of my hand and caresses my cheek again. "Well, I would want you to pay me back with kisses," she teases and I freeze, putting the muffin back on the plate.
"And how would you explain that?" I ask her. I don't mean to be rude to her but the question still stands. How would she handle the questions targeted to her about her sudden unexplainable job change. She looks at me and her eyes sparkle with tears again. "We should keep this as a student teacher relationship in public."
"In public," she say before nodding, "but…in private you're my husband. Do you agree to that?" she says as if issuing me a challenge and I nod. "And so I get to take care of you in private," she says and I reluctantly nod. "You should come home."
"Kyoko," I sigh, "You really don't want to be sharing a bed with an old man, think about it."
"Not with a random old man, no, but with you I still know who you are and I don't care. As long as those are the arms which get to protect me from my nightmares," she tells me and I close my eyes. Am I hoping for too much? Is she asking for too much?
"After breakfast I think I need to return to -" I begin and she tilts her head to the side before sighing and squeezes my hands.
"Can I come with you?" she asks, "I want you to come home with me but if you feel more comfortable in your new residence then we can go there. It doesn't matter where we go," she tells me and I look around. She seems to understand my feelings and puts my hand on the table. "I would love to start working with you, thank you."
I watch her, "I think I might need to go to the doctor," I tell her and she panics, "Just for a checkup,"
"Okay," she nods, "Can I come with you?"
I pause before nodding nervously, "However you have to pose as my granddaughter," I tell her and her jaw drops open before she quickly nods.
"Fine," she replies to me.
End of Kuon 5
Thank you for reading
Thank you to PaulaGaTo for their review of the previous chapter
