Chapter 8
Thanks, as usual, to everyone who reviewed-it means so much!
Did everyone see last night's RAW? Shay made a Father Ted reference! As an Irish fan, that totally made me mark out!
WARNING: Maximum angst alert!
'I'll sing it one last time for you, then we really have to go-
You've been the only thing that's right in all I've done.
And I can barely look at you, but every single time I do,
I know we'll make it anywhere, away from here...'
-Snow Patrol, 'Run'
/
SummerSlam, August 19
Sharona really hadn't wanted to come. The last thing she needed was to come face-to-face with her undoubtedly former boyfriend, but Phil had been insistent.
'No way are you gonna sit at home feeling sorry for yourself because of that douche.' He told her sternly. 'You don't have to see him if you don't want to-but if I see him, I'm gonna kick his ass!'
Sharona didn't even have the heart to argue. She didn't have much heart to do anything, if she was honest. She hadn't seen or heard from Shay since SmackDown two days ago and her unwitting outburst, and while she had come to realize that she'd lost him, she was finding it so hard to accept.
Losing Kane had never hurt this much. She knew now that what she felt for Shay was real love, that the soulmate she'd once believed she'd found in a seven-foot 'freak', was actually a gorgeous red-haired Irishman.
And she had pushed him away.
And she would never forgive herself for it...
/
Sheamus stood alone in his locker-room, World Title resting on one shoulder, the weight of the world, it seemed, resting on the other. He'd barely slept the last two days, and it wasn't through anticipation for his match against del Rio.
He should have called Shar, should have at least tried to explain, but the longer he'd left it, the harder it had become.
God, she must hate him. And how could he blame her?
But if she was here tonight, he was determined to try to work things out with her. If she was prepared to listen.
He'd left it long enough.
He still had over an hour before his match with Bertie, so Sheamus placed his World Heavyweight Championship on a bench, picked up the gift bag he'd left there, and left his locker-room, to see if he could find his girlfriend. As far as he was concerned, she was still his girlfriend.
But someone found him first.
Sheamus was aware of nothing until the hand crashed across his face, and he stumbled back, to find a furious-looking Phil glaring at him.
'Oi!' He snapped. 'What are ya playin' at, fella?!'
'Playing?' Phil's voice was positively Arctic. 'That's funny-I figured you were the one playing...fella.'
Sheamus sighed. He knew why Phil was so angry, and he understood completely- but that didn't give him the right to hit him!
'I know Shar's yer friend, lad.' He replied. 'And I know I'd react the same if 'twas the other way around, which is why I'll grant ya that one shot. But hit me again, and there'll be a problem. Ya get me?'
Phil didn't seem to be in the mood to listen to reason. 'Oh, there's already a problem.' He sneered. 'Do you have any idea how much you hurt her, you fucking idiot? You broke her heart. She said she loved you, and you ran away. Okay, you don't feel the same, but at least have the decency to tell her that!'
Sheamus' heart sank at Phil's words. The last thing he had ever wanted to do was break the lass' heart. Or hurt her in any way.
He needed to make this right.
'I love her.' He admitted quietly, and Phil frowned at him, looking suspicious.
'I do.' He insisted. 'I just...I got scared, fella. And if you'll tell where she is, I'll tell her that.' He held up the pink gift bag still clutched in his hand, and smiled wryly. 'Why d'you think I'm cartin' this around with me? It's not exactly my style.'
'Her birthday's tomorrow.' Phil said shortly, obviously still not willing to forgive him, and Sheamus sighed.
This wasn't going to be as easy as he'd hoped.
'I know.' He told him. 'But what I got her...I need her to see it now. I want to try an' make her understand how I feel.'
Phil's expression softened marginally, and he pointed down the corridor. 'She's in my locker-room.' He replied, and as Sheamus thanked him and tried to pass, Phil grabbed his arm.
'Don't hurt her again.' He warned. 'Because if you do, you'll have more than a shot to the face to worry about.'
Sheamus would have laughed, but he knew Phil was deadly serious, so instead, he nodded solemnly, then extended his hand.
'I won't hurt her again, lad.' He promised. 'Ya have me word on that. All I want now is for her to forgive me.'
Phil shook his hand, finally smiling. 'I think she will.' He replied. 'Think all she wants is for you to man up, and be honest. Just do that and you'll be fine.'
The guy had certainly given Sheamus food for thought with his parting words, the Irishman acknowledged. Sharona deserved honesty; more than that, she deserved his heart.
All of it...
/
Sharona looked up tearfully when she heard the knock on the door. Layla had just left, and while her friend had tried to offer comfort, Sharona had just ended up crying again. And no amount of tears was going to help her now.
Layla was facing Eve for the Women's Championship tonight, a match that Sharona herself should be involved in. But through all the drama with Shay, she'd taken her eye off the prize.
And it was troubling, how little that actually troubled her now.
Fetching a sigh, she walked over to open the door, trying to tell herself to forget about Sheamus. It was over.
It was over, and there was nothing she could do about it.
But when she saw who was standing there, all that went out the window.
Shay was standing in front of her, a gentle smile on his face, carrying a small pink sparkly bag, which looked ludicrous clasped in the hand of the fiery-haired Celt.
She almost rushed into his arms, but then reminded herself that he had left her. So let him run to her.
She smiled coolly. 'Hi.' She murmured, and he came forward, fidgeting nervously. In jeans and his 'Brogue Kick Hooligans' shirt, along with the soft cap that had more or less become his trademark, he looked casual and mouth-wateringly gorgeous at the same time.
Playing it cool had never been so tough.
Sheamus could practically feel a barrier going up between them, and he knew he needed to act quickly.
'Can I come in, lass?' He asked. 'I need to talk to ya.'
At first, Sharona considered refusing him; the last thing she wanted to hear was Shay telling her he didn't love her. After all, he'd made it perfectly clear already.
But he looked so earnest that she found herself opening the door wider to permit him entry, almost without realizing she was doing it.
'You really don't need to explain.' She said hurriedly, as soon as Shay stepped inside and shut the door. The look he gave her was serious, but also tender and sad.
'Oh, I do, love.' He retorted. 'Believe me, I do.'
As he gestured for her to sit down, Sharona decided enough was enough. He was trying to be nice about this, but she really didn't want to hear something she already knew.
'Look, I'm sorry, okay?' She burst out. 'I'm sorry I said anything, but del Rio was pissing me off!'
'Ya didn't mean it?' Sheamus felt her slipping through his fingers like water. What if she hadn't meant it? What if she regretted it? What if-?
'I never say anything I don't mean.' Shar seemed to be on the verge of tears, and Sheamus' heart ached. But as he reached for her, she backed away and started to pace furiously.
'Look, you don't have to say anything, ok?' Sharona was desperate to cut this off at the pass, before Shay could tell her what she dreaded, and she completely lost her shit. 'I mean, I get it. I do. I don't expect anything, Shay. I know you don't...'
To her horror, Sharona couldn't finish; her airways seemed to block up completely, and salt water burned her eyes.
Oh, no. Not now. Not in front of him.
As soon as the first tear slipped down her cheek, Sheamus rushed forward, and she was in his arms before she could wipe it away.
He hadn't thought it was possible to feel worse than he already did-but she'd just proven him wrong.
'Oh, no, love.' He whispered, cradling her against his chest, stroking her hair. He could feel her tears soaking his t-shirt, and actually felt himself welling up at the knowledge that he had caused her pain.
And all because of a woman who was nothing like this amazing girl who had offered him her heart, despite the hurt she had herself suffered at the hands of another man.
Imelda wasn't worth a quarter of the worth of this woman.
In more ways than one.
And oh, now the tears were sure to come. He had spent years blocking out the traumatic aftermath of his ex's affair, when she had...
Taking a deep breath, he added, 'Don't cry. There's so much I need to tell ya. So much I need to explain. If you'll let me.'
There was a pleading in Shay's voice that Sharona couldn't ignore, and when she looked up at him, she was astonished to see tears in his eyes. She nodded, and finally sat down, gesturing for him to do the same.
He seemed to be having difficulty speaking for a moment, but then he cleared his throat and began, his voice soft and slightly croaky, 'I shouldn't have run away, darlin'. It made it look like I don't care, and that's not true. It's just...when ya said it, said ya loved me...I got scared, I s'pose. I acted like a prize eejit, basically.'
Sheamus wasn't sure how he was going to say this, but he knew she deserved to hear the whole truth.
After what he'd done, it was the least she deserved.
'When I was still living in Ireland,' he had to clear his throat again before he could go on-he had a feeling he'd be crying himself by the end of this. 'I was goin' out with a girl for a long time. I was mad about her, thought we'd always be together, I s'pose. Didn't work out like that, though.'
He glanced up to see that Shar was obviously rapt. Knowing he had her full attention, he continued, 'Anyway, it was her birthday, and I'd decided to...well, ask her to marry me. Only, I don't think she was expectin' me. See, when I got to our place...well, let's just say she wasn't alone.'
Sheamus' hands clenched involuntarily at the memory of the woman he'd believed was the love of his life, in their living-room, practically naked with another man. Initially, she'd actually had the gall to tell him it wasn't what he thought!
God, he'd completely lost his temper, flung her lover out on his arse, and stood there screaming at her, demanding to know why.
And Imelda had just stood there and...
'She laughed at me. ' His voice was getting more hoarse by the minute, and Sharona could feel tears in her eyes all over again. She couldn't believe anyone could be so cruel.
'She said I wasn't...' Sheamus had to swallow a lump in his throat; this was proving to be harder than he'd thought. 'She said I wasn't able to satisfy her, that I wasn't man enough...'
Sharona let the tears fall as she watched Shay's face twitch; he was obviously fighting tears as well. Reaching across, she took his hand in both of hers, and raised it to her lips.
'She was an idiot.' She said softly. 'Anyone who could treat you like that and just let you go is an idiot. But you don't need to go on, sweetie-I can see this is hard for...'
'No.' Shay cut in. 'There's more, love. You need to hear it all. You deserve that.'
He wiped at his moistening eyes, and after a pause, he went on, 'A couple of weeks after she left...I found out she was pregnant. All I could think was...it could be mine, y'know? And even after what she did, I was excited. I mean, if the baby was mine, I wanted to be involved.'
'Was it yours?' Sharona didn't mean to interrupt, but she was curious. Was Shay going to tell her he had a kid? If so, she could deal with that.
But as her eyes met his, and she saw the desolate look in their pale blue depths, she realized with a sinking heart exactly what he was going to tell her.
'I dunno.' Sheamus stared down at his hands, everything suddenly a watery blur. He could feel the tears coming, and wasn't sure he wanted to stop them. 'She got rid of it before I could find out.'
He'd tried to block out the agony he'd felt for all this time, had never told anyone, not even his family. He'd known there was a chance it wasn't his, but thinking it could have been, that he could have been a dad, had filled him with rage and grief he'd never imagined possible.
He'd wanted to kill Imelda, he'd wanted to rip her apart. Instead, what had happened accelerated his decision to pack his bags and come to America, to get a job in WWE, no matter what, vowing to never fall in love again.
And he hadn't. Until now.
Weeping openly, her heart full to bursting with sympathy for Shay and all he had suffered, Sharona brushed her fingers over his hair, and her simple action seemed to break a dam somewhere inside him. With a muffled sob, he lurched forward, and she threw her arms around him, holding his head to her chest.
She never thought she'd see this big tough Irishman cry, but all things considered, it was hardly surprising. The poor guy had lost what could possibly have been his son or daughter.
'Babe, I'm so sorry.' She murmured. 'That bitch didn't deserve you. And she didn't deserve that baby, either.'
As Shay started to pull away, hands wiping at his face, she added tenderly, 'I love you, Shay. And I swear, I'd never treat you like that. 'Cause that's what you're afraid of, isn't it?'
Before he could respond, she cradled his tear-stained face in her hands, and said quietly, but emphatically, 'I know what I've got. And I'd never do anything to jeopardize that. I was so scared that you didn't feel the same, so scared that I'd lost you. But if you do love me, you don't have to be afraid to. Because I will never, ever hurt you.'
Sheamus stared up into Shar's face, still wiping at his eyes, feeling like a bit of an eejit. He hadn't mourned for the baby in a long time, but maybe he'd needed to get that out. He shouldn't feel ashamed to cry, he knew-after all, it might have been his child. And Shar certainly didn't look ashamed of him. All he could see in her face was sympathy.
And love.
He had to trust her, had to trust that she'd do right by him. Though he didn't have much of a choice in the matter-he couldn't let her go. He loved her too much.
'Tà cion agam ort.' He whispered, pressing his lips to her forehead. 'Tà an-chion agam ort, a stòr.'
Sharona giggled a little, confused. 'I don't know what that means.' She told him, and his expression changed to one full of so much emotion that it almost brought her to tears again.
'Yeah, you do.' He said gently, and then she realized exactly what it meant.
He loved her.
Shay loved her.
She launched herself into his arms, kissing him everywhere her lips could reach. Laughing himself, Sheamus extricated himself from her embrace, then handed her the gift bag.
Shar arched an eyebrow at him. 'You know my birthday's not until tomorrow, right?' She said.
'I know.' Sheamus replied, nervous now. 'But ya can have yer present early, love.' When she hesitated, he added, 'Go on. Ya can open it.'
With a smile, she reached into the bag, taking out the card first.
It simply had 'For My Girlfriend' written on the front, without any hearts or sappy motif, to her satisfaction. That kind of stuff wasn't her bag, and she felt sure that Shay wasn't the overly romantic type, either.
Inside, the card read:
'To the most beautiful girl in all the land.
Have an amazing day.
All my love, Sheamus xxxx
The words were simple, but brought a lump to her throat. They were sincere, and typical of this man that she loved.
'It's beautiful, babe, thank you.' She said, and Shay pointed to the bag.
'There's more, y'know.' He grinned, and she dipped her hand in again, taking out a small red velvet box.
With hands that were now trembling, she opened it. And her hand flew to her mouth in shock.
Inside, was a silver Claddagh ring, the heart at its center inset with a single emerald.
Sharona wasn't very familiar with Irish jewellery or their meaning, but as far as she knew, a Claddagh ring was the equivalent of an eternity ring.
'I might have to get it resized.' Shay was saying. He looked uncertain now. 'O' course, if ya don't like it, I can get ya somethin' else. It's grand, really.'
'I love it.' And this wasn't a lie. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. And if the sentiment behind it was what she believed it was, it meant even more.
She tried it on all of her fingers, and it fit onto her 'wedding' finger as if it had been made especially, so she switched it onto the same finger of her right hand.
'D'you know what it means?'
Shar seemed to genuinely love it, to his pleasure and relief. He'd been afraid she'd just look at it blankly and wonder what the Hell it was all about. Hence his question.
'I'm not sure.' She replied. 'I mean...it's like an eternity ring, right'
Sheamus smiled, and pointing to the ring, he told her, ' 'Grà, dìlseacht agus chairdeas'. It means, 'Love, loyalty and friendship.' That's what the heart, crown and hands mean.'
With a grin, he slipped it off her finger, turned it upside-down and put it back on, adding, 'There. That's how ya wear it, lass. With the heart pointing to yer own. It means yer spoken for. It means...me heart is yours.'
As he blushed, Sharona felt the sting of tears for the umpteenth time. That was, without a doubt, the most profound thing anyone had ever said to her.
She put her hands around Shay's waist, tilting her face up to his, so he could kiss her. 'And I'll cherish them both.' She told him tenderly. 'The ring and your heart. Always.'
Sheamus gazed down at her, unable to stop smiling now. It would be different this time around. It had to be.
This was the love of his life.
Kissing her once more, he said, 'I have to get ready to kick Bertie's arse, darlin'. I'll meet ya back here after, yeah?'
She nodded eagerly. Suddenly, she wanted desperately to take this gorgeous man to bed and show him how much he meant to her.
But she could wait. After all, he had a Mexican asshole to beat the crap out of, a World Title to defend.
'Go.' She told him. 'I'll be waiting.'
It was only when he'd left, that she let out an ecstatic shriek, jumping around Phil's locker-room like a hyperactive teenager.
He'd come back to her.
He'd finally come back to her...
Coming up: A World Title match, an argument, and some smut. 'Cause I can. :) Was gonna finish on this chapter, but I kind of don't want to. As usual, please R&R! :) Ellen.
