Chapter 9
Everything was in disorder. Things were turning out wrong. Fairytales didn't end this way! They didn't hurt, they weren't supposed to.
But life seemed to have taken a stroll, only down the wrong path. Routine was unheard of and even the dreams had stopped!
It should have improved circumstances but now Kia felt lonely without them.
By telling Elani that story she had admitted in the truth; truth, however, was also accompanied by pain and a sense of trepedition. She was terrified of the in evident rejection she would receive if her feelings were revealed.
So she had trusted her imagination, knowing she would not hurt herself. But the dreams had come true.
It was impossible, stupid, irrational, and illogical. It didn't make sense!
And the kiss.
It was an exhilarating experience. All at once she had felt free, caged, wild and tamed. Everything about him rang with danger and yet she had felt so safe. He had trapped her.
But she had pushed him away. Certainly that meant that she had escaped. Was it now not obvious that her loathing for him ran deeper than those swirling emotions in his eyes?
The reassurances sounded weak even to her.
Every sane fibre in her head screamed at her warning her he was deceiving her, and yet she had fallen straight into his arms, into his eyes.
But still, days later, he did not tease, taunt or even sneer at her.
Why was everything so confusing?
All the wonderful, terrifying, horrific possibilities tumbled in and out of her mind at such a pace that all other things were a blur. At times she wanted to let out a screech of frustration or hit something, preferably the object causing her torment, but then sensibility would seep thorough the little crack that had not yet been covered by stress and make her think rationally.
But it would soon stop.
Or would it? How could she be sure that by going home he would certainly be out of her head, her heart. No, it would be worse, she needed to find answers. Now!!!
But even the questions were vague……
However, she got her chance to see him, a day before she was due to leave.
Replies to application letters were definitely twisting her destiny. But this letter was for Kai and she had been asked to deliver it directly to him.
She suspected he would be in his room at the top of the house and so she found herself in front of the small door on the second floor, trembling slightly. What if he tried something else?
Every creak on the stair made her jump and the darkness was better than the slits of dangerous light through the floorboards. But if she retreated now it would do no good, he had probably already heard her coming up. She was right, because when she lifted the trapdoor he was looking right at her. He immediately helped her up offering a hand which she reluctantly took.
But she did take it.
"Sit down" he motioned her to sit and fell to the floor himself.
"I came to give you this" she handed him the letter. Their fingers brushed but she felt nothing.
He raised his eyebrows waiting for her to say more and all thoughts of confronting him rushed away. Fear had won this war. Quietly that sat in that lit room until finally she looked up. He was still analysing her.
"What is it?" she managed to ask.
"Nothing. I was only speculating about what it was that made me so…..unlike myself. I still can't figure it out"
Kia had no idea what he was talking about, but she didn't like that glint in his eye. She stayed silent.
"I usually don't make an idiot of myself but for the past eight weeks there has been no incident where I have avoided it" he looked at her intently "I have no reason, no logical or sufficient explanation, to give you for leading you on in such a way"
Tense silence followed; tense and enraged on Kia's part. It seemed to her that his arrogance, even at his humblest of moments (she was surprised he could actually be humble), never diminished!
"I can tell you without doubt, that I in no way, have been lead anywhere by you" her voice revealed the intended humiliation "However your insufferable attitude has made me really want to say that if you continue to look at every relationship (she almost spat the word) in the same way you will get nowhere. But if you do ever succeed, and I hope you don't, in winning a girl's heart then she has my pity and condolences for I am certain she will need them!"
Getting up in one fluid movement Kia turned away but before she could leave Kai grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down. He took hold of her chin tightly and held her face a breath away from his. He was smirking.
"Strong, harsh words" he commented lightly "And for your pride's sake I wish you would not have to regret them but you will. I am glad to have infuriated you so and it's been a while since I've had such refreshing resistance, so I congratulate you"
He touched his lips to hers and held her gaze "But in this game there was no prize, it was simply for my amusement; and I'd like to have fun for as long as possible"
She lost control as his lips moved against hers and the triumph in his eyes was the last thing she saw before she surrendered to the kiss. She was incredibly weak and in her own vision she had stooped so low, not even having the strength to push him away.
But the kiss was lighter, more delicate, almost affectionate. It was tender, careful, a tearful goodbye; just the pressure of his lips on hers. No overwhelming emotions, no regrets, just the kiss in itself.
He released her lips but not his hold. His eyes were deep and she was falling, but the slight curl of an almost smile kept her on the surface. She had never seen such an incomprehensible expression before.
She pulled away and touched her lips. She tried to conjure back the glare, the anger but her mind was so blank she was in danger of fainting. She pushed herself to her feet and tumbled down the trapdoor. He heard her stumble quickly down the stairs and then the slam of the door, all without a backwards glance.
As he watched her leave, watched her flee, he realised what he had learned, who he had also taught. The power of being hurt so deeply and yet so inconsiderably; it could hardly be noticed on the person's face, only in their heart. How this power could be exploited……….there were already ideas in his head.
The curl on Kai's lips turned into a full smile, one never seen before, a bittersweet one. The happiness in it was scarce as everything had sacrifices attached to it and his was her fear; her fear of him, so much that she had left without a backwards glance.
But then again he had his pride intact, unlike hers which was still strewn at his feet. What else did he need?
Definitely not her, she was a forgiven mistake.
Kai Hiwatari smirked, absently tearing open the letter he had been given moments ago; a mistake that would not be made again.
You never know, he thought grimly, I may not be forgiven again.
She felt guilty. Was it right to feel so glad and relieved to leave such a lovely family only because of one egoistic boy?
Kia was ashamed of herself, for giving in, for believing. She knew it was only human to make mistakes but in her eyes, in the hint of arrogance that she too possessed, she had fallen too far down.
She would not let the same thing happen again. She would not be swayed by charm or walk blindly into traps. But she continued to think of it, to regret it; and the more she thought of it the more her hatred for him grew.
She must definitely forget about him and she sincerely hoped that she would never have the misfortune of associating with him, or anyone of the same mind, again.
Kia Tilwaree hated and paid greatly for the mistakes she made; this one, it seemed she had suffered a lot for and would make sure she never make again.
But that was what all of us think when we make a grave mistake, that nothing can be worse. Maybe it is so, but when good things come from it opinions rapidly change.
But here is a conclusion, an end to an experience that they learned from, but would have felt better if avoided. Will they continue to feel such, when all is forgotten and appreciated?
A cold wind blew, she shivered.
It was finished and she should be glad. But the loneliness of losing those wonderful dreams stayed with her and she wondered if the kisses had helped her by taking away her imagination.
They do say, you don't know what you've lost until it's gone…..
How was that?!! I am extremely sorry that took ages and I am very ashamed of myself for putting it off but you must understand I did not know how to finish it…….
One more final chapter to go! I will honestly tell you that it will take time because I have done no work on It whatsoever though I do know what's going to happen!
So forgive me……..
I shall try my hardest.
Review……your comments will encourage me to work faster…!!!!!!
Logging out
Kia
