So. Uhhhh. It's been a while, yeah? Well, I hope this chapter makes up for it, because I really enjoyed writing it. I've forgotten how much fun and excitement there is in writing. Huzzah! And also a huge thanks to all of those people who slowly but surely harassed me over the (eep!) 7 month interim I had.


Division

Mnemosynesque

Summary: Blaise Zabini, social recluse extraordinaire, after two days of shocking speech, has once again fallen back into silence. Hermione, starting the week out with a new friend, is now forced to live with a boy who hates her guts. However when the Yule Ball makes an appearance things get strange again… But perhaps there is hope for the odd duo if they can put aside their differences and stop being so damn hormonal.

Rating: PG-13 still.

Disclaimer: Some things in life are simply unattainable. This would be one of them, unfortunately. This is J. K. Rowling's. I haven't got a chance of owning it, so screw you.


Chapter Nine: Though thou repent, yet I have still the loss

Why didst thou promise such a beauteous day,

And make me travel forth without my cloak,

To let base clouds o'ertake me in my way,

Hiding thy bravery in their rotten smoke?

'Tis not enough that through the cloud thou break,

To dry the rain on my storm-beaten face,

For no man well of such a salve can speak

That heals the wound and cures not the disgrace:

Nor can thy shame give physic to my grief;

Though thou repent, yet I have still the loss:

The offender's sorrow lends but weak relief

To him that bears the strong offence's cross.

Ah! but those tears are pearl which thy love sheds,

And they are rich and ransom all ill deeds.

--Sonnet 34

Hermione had insisted on returning to the castle as soon as her parents' funeral was over. Her house had been sold (for she would have been living on her own after graduation anyway), and she said she had no desire to live in a house without anyone in it. Blaise, in his mind, had sourly thought 'but I'm here.' After the whole "Golden Trio Reunited" event, Blaise became more and more sure that he would eventually be ditched by Hermione. But then sometimes, he thought they were growing closer.

That girl was an enigma.

So here they were, lounging on the couches of their common room, enjoying the comforting awkwardness that the two had come to know so well since they came to know each other.

Hermione was wrapped up in her thoughts, mostly about the boy across from her. She and he just evoked so much drama: it was really quite impressive if you though about it. She, after all of it, was glad that she had stayed at Hogwarts for Christmas. In truth, she had stayed for Blaise, hoping that they would grow closer. She blushed slightly at that. They had grown closer; and, what was even more shocking, was that he had kissed her. Again!

The first time he had done it she had thrown it off as him just being angry and in his twisted Slytherin mind it had been a punishment. But a second time? She thought perhaps he was attracted to her now. But she was the Gryffindor Bookworm, completely unaware of any sort of romance that had to do with her. She could never admit to herself that a boy would be attracted to her, plus Blaise had remained perfectly stoic about the whole situation. She was used to the Gryffindor boys, with their loud proclamations and obviousness. This odd Slytherin courtship - if it could be called that - was entirely foreign to her.

Hermione sighed and rolled over, smothering herself in her pillow. On the opposite couch, Blaise felt as if he ought to be doing the same thing.

Blaise, as opposed to Hermione, was shocked that he could be so blatant in his strange feelings toward Hermione. He actually had no idea what he felt about the girl: sure, she was nice looking, intelligent, and kind, but he knew he had no desire to be tied down to her. Sure he felt bad about this, he was practically using her. But Hermione was a smart girl, and she wouldn't let herself get hurt by a boy such as he.

As he looked over towards the girl currently drowning in her own hair he heard a muffled, "Do you want -"

However, she didn't get the chance to finish whatever she was going to ask as the door to their shared rooms burst open and a determined looking Draco Malfoy strode in.

"Blaise! I need to talk to you!" Draco marched to the couch where Blaise was currently sprawled out. He towered over the darker boy looking angry, but Blaise did not miss the definite look of fear in his eyes. "Now?" he asked, with a bit less force.

"Um, sure. Let's go into my room. Come on." Blaise threw a look at Hermione, who was interested but had been completely ignored, before shrugging and leading Draco up to his room.

Once they had reached Blaise's room, Draco cast a number of spells to ensure nothing would be heard from outside of the room. Then Draco headed to Blaise's bathroom where he heard the faucet running for a long while. When he came out, Blaise tossed him an inquisitive look.

"I had to wash my hands." Blaise remembered that Draco had always had the strange habit of washing his hands, something he had picked up from his father.

Shrugging it off, the two boys sat down on the large bed. Blaise looked expectantly at his blonde friend. "So what's all this about Draco?"

"I want out."

Blaise's eyes widened in surprise. "What?"

"I want out of this whole - thing. I can't take it anymore."

Blaise was shocked at the strange turnaround in Draco. First, he was thrilled at the stories of Muggle deaths, then, crying and begging for help. But now Blaise saw the strange burning intensity in his eyes and knew Draco was not going to back down. Draco was no longer a man with an oppressor.

"And how exactly do you plan to do that, Draco? You can't just walk away from it."

Draco snorted. "That's rich, coming from you Zabini. You've backed out of every important decision you've had to make. But don't let me make this about you… I. Am. Done. With all of this shit. I decided last night that I'm going to Dumbledore."

Blaise looked even more shocked at this, if at all possible. "Why did you decide that? And why are you telling me?"

"You - You were my best friend before, and I know that you are telling the truth when you say you're neutral. You wouldn't go off telling any Death Eaters. I don't know if I can trust Nott, and we were never close before all of this happened." Draco looked almost hesitantly at Blaise after saying all this, as if he would suddenly turn into Lord Voldemort himself. "And the only way to get out of service that I can think of is to kill myself or get protection. Dumbledore is the one wizard that Voldemort truly fears and as much as I'm pained to admit it, he'll listen and not cart me straight off to Azkaban."

Blaise pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to ward off the head ache he knew was forthcoming. "Okay. Fine. You're going to Dumbledore. But I am not going." He knew why Draco had not simply gone to Dumbledore himself. He expected Blaise to turn himself in too, so to speak. It was a nice thought on his part, but Blaise wanted no protection from the Headmaster.

"Blaise, stop being an idiot. I know you're always saying you're 'neutral' but you simply can't be. You either join the light or dark and get protected by them, or don't and get hunted down by both sides. Come on mate, you're smart. Think it through."

Mate. Draco hadn't called him that since he had become a Death Eater, and the friendly term affected him more than Draco could probably ever know. However he ignored this, smirked, and instead replied, "You know, I think Hermione said the exact same thing to me a while ago."

Draco shot a glare at his friend. "Shut it. And, as much as it pains me to admit it, as obnoxious as that girl is, she is intelligent." He punched Blaise lightly on the shoulder. "Now that you've got two smart people telling you the same thing, don't you think you ought to listen?"

"I suppose."

From under the fringe of his hair, Blaise could see a flicker of surprise cross Draco's face and quickly disappear. He would have laughed if they were not planning to put their lives on the line.

"When exactly are you - we - planning to do this?"

"I just assumed we'd do it after I convinced you. So I guess tonight."

Blaise felt his chest constrict at Draco's simple statement. After seventeen years of neutrality he was about to toss it all away. He couldn't help but feel frightened for his mother (who at the moment, as far as he knew, was once again without a husband); however, there was a feeling of excitement that couldn't quashed. The two emotions warring within made him want to do nothing but curl up and sleep until this was all over.

Taking a deep breath, he made eye contact with Draco for the first time during the talk. "Fine. Let's do it."

"Thank Merlin, Blaise. I was afraid I was going to have to stun you and drag you to the Headmaster's office. What would you co-Head think if she saw that?" Draco smirked, but Blaise could tell it was a forced lightening of the situation.

"Well, at this point she might be pleased," he muttered, "as long as you were going to do something unpleasant to me later."

Draco's eyebrow arched. "Oh? What have you done to displease Miss Perfect?"

"I think you don't want to know." At the ever inquisitive look on his face, Blaise flipped him off. "You really wouldn't."

Draco's face contorted as, undoubtedly, millions of very disturbing situations popped into his warped little Pureblood mind. "Yes. Well. That is simply vile, Blaise. Shall we be going now?"

Sighing, Blaise stood up and walked out the door, Draco right behind the tall Italian. "Now's as good as ever for betraying everything you've ever known."

The two boys clumped down the stairs with a nervous energy that the intuitive Head Girl felt without even looking up from her History of Magic textbook. "Where are you two going?" She looked at the two boys suspiciously; Blaise's façade was pretty badly constructed, and Draco seemed to be even stiffer than usual.

"None of your business, Granger, now is it?" Ah, there was the normal Draco, sneer and all. But it was all a bit forced as if this banter had very little meaning to him. Yes, Hermione deduced, they were definitely up to something.

"Draco! Play nice." Blaise really didn't feel like refereeing another one of their infamous arguments.

Draco nodded shortly, and scrubbed at his eyes with his hand as if remarkably tired. It was such a disarming, normal thing to do that Hermione was now certain something serious was going on. "Guys? Seriously," she said in a quiet voice. "I know you hate me Malfoy, but Blaise? If there's something wrong I want to help you."

"Of course you would," muttered Draco bitterly. "Damn Gryffindor."

Ignoring him, Blaise looked at Hermione's pleading face. He knew he couldn't keep it from her; after all, she was the one who had first started this mutiny of his mind. He just hoped Draco wouldn't throttle him after he spilled it all. "W - we've decided to go to Dumbledore."

"You're going to Dumbledore? Oh, that's wonderful!" Hermione nearly tackled him as she pulled him into a fierce hug. "See? I knew you would come around."

Blaise focused on breathing through her death grip and ignored the indignant sounds Draco was making. Of course he wanted all the credit for Blaise's turn around.

As suddenly as she had wrapped her arms around him, she was standing a few paces away from him. Blaise found himself missing the feeling of the woman pressed against him, but quickly refocused on the scowling Hermione. "What?"

"Why are you doing this all of the sudden? There must be a reason. If you are going to Dumbledore, there must have been a trigger."

Damn her. She really was too smart for her own good. "That must deserve an award for the fastest mood swing ever." Draco snorted and Hermione looked even more venomous. He cleared his throat nervously and continued. "Look Hermione, it's like this - "

"Oh cut the crap Blaise." To Hermione, "Don't let him lie to you, Granger. Blaise is wanted by the Lord. He's a strong, young pureblood that's refused to serve him. He's probably more at risk than me right now."

"Thank you Draco. That was remarkably necessary."

Blaise chanced a look at Hermione and saw her face pinched and worried. "You're in danger?" Her voice was much higher than its usual pitch, as if trying to stop herself from screaming, or crying, or something. Yes, now that he looked, he could see a very subtle trembling of her chin. Was she going to cry?

Draco, meanwhile, looked marginally impressed at the fact that she was so worried for his sake. While perhaps a bigot he was definitely a friend first, and realised that perhaps Hermione was a good think for Blaise to have in his life.

"I - I… So you've been in trouble this whole time too? Why didn't you tell me?"

Blaise hung his head. "I didn't want you to worry anymore. I knew the story about Draco upset you. I figured you didn't need anymore worries."

"Wait. So you knew I was a Death Eater this whole time? And you didn't spill to Pothead or Weasel?" Draco looked as if he might have a marginal amount of respect for the bushy headed girl. "And you were worried?"

"Of course I was worried! Even though you've always been a huge prick to me, I couldn't wish death or danger on anyone. And of course I wouldn't tell anyone… It wasn't my secret to tell, and I've only just found out definitively that you were a Death Eater. I mean, Ron and Harry already think badly of you; why exacerbate the problem?"

Draco nodded slowly, but Blaise saw the boy's mind working hard. He braced himself as the boy turned towards him. "You told her about the whole thing, didn't you? You stupid idiot! Why would you do that?"

Blaise shrugged apologetically. "It wasn't really my place to tell her but, unlike you, I got to know her before making assumptions and I realised that she's trustworthy. Come on Draco, don't give me that glare, you know it's true. She's not betrayed me nor you, even after years of your torment. Even if you don't like her, she's still very useful and won't immediately condemn you. So deal with it."

Hermione beamed at these complements. This smile dropped off and was replaced by incredulity as the full impact of the situation hit her. "Oh - Oh my." She plopped down on the couch and as she looked up at Blaise she looked as if she may faint.

"What is it?"

"Draco - Death Eater. Th - The revel!" She turned her haunted stare toward Draco, whose eyes widened almost imperceptibly as he realised what she had put together.

"N - No. Please, Malfoy. You didn't?"

"What? What's going on?" asked Blaise worriedly.

"Yes. I was there."

"No. I thought - "

"Granger, I want out, but I'm not perfect." Draco's face was steadily becoming more and more pale, and he looked ready to bolt from the room.

"What in the bloody hell is going on here?"

"But…"

"Granger! Please don't."

"Draco." The intimate use of his first name seemed to finally, fully break Draco Malfoy down.

"Granger. I was there. I - I - Fucking hell! I was there when your parents were killed!"

Blaise looked on in stunned amazement. His best friend was there when his… when Hermione's parents were killed? From the look on Draco's face, he hadn't thought Hermione would ever figure it out, and that he had hoped he could keep the guilt bottled inside. As much as he would like to pretend, Blaise saw that it truly had affected his friend.

Maybe this experience truly had changed Draco.

However, Hermione seemed not to notice this change as she stared at Draco with a look of terror on her face. It quickly turned to a look of repulsion, but she forced it from her face when she saw the agony written on Draco's face.

"Come on," she said quietly, "we need to get you two to the Headmaster's office."


"So what brings three of my best students to my office this night?" Headmaster Dumbledore looked the same as always, ageless and infinitely wise. His eyes seemed to be sparkling extra brightly at that time, and Hermione hoped that this meant he knew what was to happen and that all would turn out well for the two boys in front of her.

"Um." Draco paled considerably as the wizened Headmaster turned his gaze toward him. "Well, it so happens that I - I'm a Death Eater. Sir," he added as an afterthought.

"So it would seem, young Master Malfoy." Dumbledore gave him an appraising look over the top of his spectacles. "Could you perhaps tell me how this unfortunate occurrence came about?"

"I've pretty much known since birth that I've been expected to become one. On my seventeenth birthday - this June before school started - I was awoken very early and a Portkey was forced into my hands. I ended up in an old mansion, I think somewhere in Ireland, where the inner ring of Death Eaters were, including my father. They restrained me when I tried to escape, an - and then Voldemort came into the room with his snake. He performed an incantation over my forearm and… The pain was incredible. I thought for sure I was going to die at that moment. I passed out for a long while. When I woke, I had the Mark on my arm and I was completely alone in a small cell. I was left there for a long while, I don't know how long, with no food or water. Eventually someone tossed an old boot to me and it took me back to my home.

"Nothing happened for a long while. No news, no meetings; nothing. I half hoped that I wouldn't ever be called up, that it was all a mistake and they didn't want me. But about a month ago I was summoned to a revel. It was horrible. They had a Muggle family from Dublin. They killed the young boy immediately, with Avada Kedava. However, his mother was first raped by some of the Death Eaters and then..." At this he trailed off and seemed unable to speak any further.

"Please, Draco, finish. I promise I will help, but I must hear the whole story," the Headmaster gently prodded.

"And then I killed her," he spat out. "And the father had to watch it all. Finally, my father - my own father - murdered the man. And laughed.

"I went to Blaise after this and told him, but I didn't think there was anything I could do. So I waited. And then about a week ago, I was once again summoned by… Him. This time it was to London. I was forced to kill an entire family under the watchful eye of some foreign Death Eater I didn't know. I nearly killed myself then and there, but I was dragged off to the next house. I - Oh fuck, Hermione, I'm so sorry! I couldn't do anything. They were taunted, but they died quickly. I tried to leave, but they kept me watching. And then I had to keep going and going and killing. Death everywhere. And the Grangers. Kept hearing Mudblood, Mudblood. I saw you. Pictures didn't move. And it was you and them, but now they're dead and you can't take pictures anymore. Little room blasted to bits after they were done. No more. And I watched. NO MORE! I tried, oh Merlin, I TRIED!"

Hermione let out a strangled sob and turned away from the blonde. Blaise sat in a stunned silence, and even the Headmaster seem surprised at the uncontrollable grief coming from Draco.

"So… dirty." He buried his face in his hands and when he spoke again, it was clear he was sobbing. "I can't do it anymore. Please, don't make me!"

"Of course not, my boy. You will certainly be held protected." Blaise heard the quiet waver in his voice, and suddenly he realised how utterly screwed up their lives were.

Dumbledore allowed a few moments for the two students to compose themselves and dry their tears. Blaise remained stoic as ever, and seemed to be startled when the Headmaster addressed him. "And what are you here for Master Zabini? Correct me, but I believe you are here for more than just support?"

Blaise nodded, but was unable to form any coherent thoughts. He looked over toward Draco, and then Hermione, and felt as if he may be sick.

Hermione tried to compose herself, but in her overly sensitive state, she nearly began crying again when she saw Blaise struggle. It was such a shock to see this Blaise once again. She had forgotten how little he spoke to people he didn't like… Her heart was dully pleased at the thought; to be one of the few people he felt he could trust. But now it was heart wrenching to see how much he struggled; why had she never seen it? It just seemed so cruel that this eloquent boy was so repressed.

"He needs help too, Headmaster," she choked out. "He is being targeted by Voldemort because he refuses to be recruited. He needs your protection."

Dumbledore nodded. "Certainly. This will be taken care of immediately. Now I suggest all of you return to your rooms. May I suggest that Draco stay within the confines of your rooms, Blaise? After such a shock, I'm sure all of you will find the extra company a comfort." The two Heads nodded, and the Headmaster looked relieved. "Well, in light of all this, there is much to be planned. Please return to your rooms and I will have you called in for a meeting when things have been arranged. Until then I request that you do not go out of the boundaries of Hogwarts nor go anywhere alone."

The three teens stumbled out of the office, drained of emotions and energy. No one said a word as they trudged down the hallways, no one sure if they would make it back to the rooms or whether they would just collapse and never wake up.

After what seemed like hours of walking, the exhausted group saw a small bench. All three unconsciously headed first.

Hermione sat down first, tugging Blaise down beside her; surprisingly, Draco on her other side. Blaise nearly collapsed onto the bench, and as Hermione rested her hand on his thigh she could feel that his whole body was trembling. She scooted closer to him, and the intimacy seemed to break down whatever barriers the boy had. His body began to wrack with heart wrenching sobs, and Hermione felt her heart breaking for the boy as his face burrowed into her neck. He held her hand as if it were his only lifeline.

And perhaps it was.


Wow. Ok. So I am totally shocked at how this story is progressing. Well, not really, as this is exactly how it was supposed to turn out, but still! I didn't know that my characters would get so emotional. Especially Draco. Well, I can just hope that he'll turn out alright. So yeah, once again, sorry for the long wait. The next chapter should be up within a few weeks (or a month), and let me warn you that this story is nearing its end. So keep on keeping on!

And of course, review!