See Ch 1 for disclaimers…
Quick note – If you didn't check here yesterday there was a Ch 8 posted… read that first or this will make ZERO sense.
Maura's cell phone ringing woke them both. Jane felt her shift out of her embrace to answer it, her voice low in the dark. Jane frowned and buried her head into the pillow, dragging out the inevitable. When Maura simply slid out of bed Jane cracked an eye open, blinking at the brief flash of light from the bathroom. Curious she rolled over and waited. The shower was on and off quickly. Now Jane sat up. If Maura showered that quickly, this was a work call and Maura was Chief. She voluntarily worked all Jane's cases but it was unusual for her to be called out for anything else but a serious case.
Maura opened the bathroom door, surprised to see the bedside lamp on and a sleepy Jane looking at her. "Go back to sleep. It's work but it's not your case."
"What's going on?" Jane rubbed the back of her hand over her eyes and pushed up into a sitting position.
"Dr. Silva's out remember? I'm covering for him and there was a call." Maura turned off the lamp on her way to the closet. "So go back to bed."
"No, I'm going to get up. I'll drive you." Jane stretched before flicking the light back. "The roads are going to be awful."
Annoyed Maura went to her closet door and peered around the edge to level a glare at Jane. "You'll do no such thing. I appreciate the sentiment but I drove myself for years before I knew you and while I doubt the driveway is clear yet, the main street by the house looks passable. Detective Brown is lead on this and he sent me a text offering me a ride. Now go back to bed, if I keep talking to you I'll keep him waiting."
Jane waited until she was back in the closet with the door closed before she got to her feet and padded over to the window. Maura was right, the street looked as clear as it could with the last lazy snowflakes drifting down to cover it. The asphalt was definitely salted. She was impressed, obviously Maura's zip-code had pull with DPW. In her neighborhood it would take until the next day to look that clear. She could hear the click of hangers in the closet. Rubbing the back of her neck she decided if she was up she may as well be useful.
Making her way downstairs she paused at the low sound of the TV. Apparently Ian had decided to watch his Christmas specials in the main house. For a delicious second she hoped he had heard everything that happened last night before she pushed the thought aside.
Ian turned around from filling the tea kettle and saw Jane standing at the entry. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. My internal clock is disjointed with the time zone changes. Your mother's kitchen was right under the bedrooms, I was worried I'd wake her up."
Running her hands through her hair, wishing she had elastic to band the messy curls back, Jane shook her head. "It wasn't you. Maura was on call and there's a case."
He nodded while he turned the burner under the kettle on. "That happened the last time I was in town."
Jane took a deep breath and tried to count backwards in her head. "Yeah, I think I remember."
He chuckled. "She was frantic because she didn't want to be later than you to the scene. I have never seen someone get dressed so fast and she left before I could tell her that her shoes didn't match."
The counting didn't work and frankly she couldn't help but think he knew exactly what he was doing. Jane glared at him. "Yeah, I think I remember." She filled the coffee bean grinder and hit the switch so the noise would make any additional conversation impossible. What exactly was it she had learned in sensitivity training? She refused to look up from the machine as it worked. Just as the last of the beans went through she remembered what the course had said about handling a difficult situation. Jane muttered "Don't engage," and filled the portafilter with the ground coffee.
He may have heard her. Jane wasn't sure but Ian was suddenly occupied with searching through Maura's tea selection. She tried not to let it bother her that he seemed well versed in where Maura kept everything. Carefully she pressed the grinds down, hearing Maura's voice in her head telling her to be careful not to bruise the beans or some such nonsense. Coffee was straining into the cup, so she went to the refrigerator and pulled out the vanilla soy milk. She poured it into the steamer and shook her head. That shit wouldn't foam like milk but whatever made Maura happy. Pouring everything into a travel mug she noticed Ian was prepping a cup of tea along with another travel cup.
Jane cleared her throat until he looked up. She pointed to the travel mug. "I have her covered."
Ian stared at Jane and ran his hand through his hair roughly. He understood the message but he had been up half the night dealing with the message already. "I made her tea."
Crossing her arms across her chest Jane took a deep breath. "Well she drinks coffee these days."
Whatever Ian was going to say was cut off by Maura appearing with an overly enthusiastic "Good morning."
Jane winced and darted a look at Ian. He seemed to share her sentiment of 'Oh shit.' Both of them seemed to be able to read Maura's body language and the message was clear. She had heard them both.
Maura ignored them and moved to her living room window, relieved to see headlights and an idling car. She took a moment and carefully considered the situation. She turned around and both of them were looking at her sheepishly from the island. As ridiculous as this posturing was, it was also delicate. It was in the brittle nature of the situation that Maura finally realized what the perfect Christmas gift for Jane was. Calm now, she knew what to do.
Finally Maura walked over to Ian. "Thank you for thinking of me. I know you leave later today, but please meet for lunch if you are able, I should be done with the scene by then." She went over to Jane and gave her a look of reproach and the other woman stared off to the side. With a soft sigh Maura cupped Jane's cheek and turned her head. She brushed their lips together and lingered. "I'll see you at the office." Picking up the coffee Maura waited until Jane focused on her. She rubbed Jane's arm and raised an eyebrow in warning before she walked over to the closet, pulled on a coat and left.
Ian picked up his tea. "I'm going to relax back in bed for a few hours."
He didn't wait for a reply before he left and Jane didn't offer one.
Jane was watching the end of It's A Wonderful Life when the kitchen door opening made her look up. She twisted to look over the couch and gave a slight wave to her mother. "Ma what are you doing up this early? I thought you had the lunch shift today."
"I do. I switched so I'll already be at the station for choir practice." Angela set a pot of coffee on to brew. "I didn't want to disturb Ian but I wanted to check the travel advisory. What are you doing up?"
"Thinking." Jane sighed and when the warm aroma of coffee wafted over she looked back to her mother. "What, no tea this morning? It seems like everyone in this house likes tea." The beep of the coffee machine was the only answer she received.
Angela put a cup of coffee down in front of Jane and sat down on the other end of the couch with her own steaming cup. "I think Maura made it very clear last night that her metaphorical tea drinking days had come to a close." She raised her cup at her daughter's surprised look. "Don't give me that look missy. I know you think I don't notice half of what I do. I remember Dr. Faulkner's last visit quite well and your constant references to tea during that entire time were hard to miss." Taking a long, slow sip, Angela put her cup down before half turning to face Jane. "At the risk of having you claim I am meddling in your life, I would like to remind you that there are a few things you could do to make your place more secure with Maura."
Jane sat up a bit and wrapped her hands around the coffee mug. Her voice was tired and low. "I know."
Shaking her head Angela moved closer. "Well that answers that question. I didn't think I'd raised an idiot but apparently I have raised a fool."
"Ma, come on. Please." Jane sipped the beverage and refused to look at her mother.
Angela grabbed the foot closest to her and squeezed it. "You come on. What is your problem? Because I'm your mother and I can't believe you turned Maura down when she asked you to move in." When Jane didn't answer her Angela decided to go with her instincts. "You remember that you promised to get the extension cord last night, right? I want to see the house lit up." She waited until Jane nodded. "Did I ever tell you why I kept those old lights?"
Jane tried to adjust to the change in topic. "No, and I wondered. Some of them are just shy of a fire hazard. Of all the things to pay to keep in storage why a bunch of old lights?"
"Do you know how many Christmases those lights have seen me through?" Angela didn't wait for an answer. "More than I want to admit. Over the years if one strand became worn we'd replace it and it wasn't unlike the height chart for you kids on the back of the pantry door. Except these I could take with me." Angela gave a half laugh. "I look at those lights on Maura's house and remember you three standing around your father, holding onto the bottom of the ladder. I remember the fights over who got to climb partway up and hand him a new strand. I remember the excitement you had that first year he let you start to string the bushes in the front by yourself. Do you remember the year all three of you wanted a Transformer for Christmas? God help me they were the hot toy and all three of you had them on the top of your list. I was on a wait list with Toys R Us and the night I got the call they were getting a shipment in I waited in a crowd for them to open to those of us on that list at midnight. Originally they were limiting them to two per customer but I think I was crying so hard the clerk couldn't handle it and let me have the extra one."
Angela's hands drifted up and down Jane's calf. "Well when I came back that morning it was still dark and it was cold. I turned up our street and your father had known I'd be tired so he left the lights on. So there was our house, brightly lit with those lights and it was like Christmas was calling me home. All three of you were sound asleep and I remember opening your bedroom doors to check on you. All my babies sound asleep. I felt like the luckiest woman alive. I had this beautiful home, a loving husband and three of the most perfect children a woman could hope for." Angela picked back up her coffee. "That is what those lights are to me. All of our Christmases together as a family."
Jane struggled to sit fully upright. "Yeah except now those lights are all you have left Ma. Pop's gone. The house is gone. Even us kids are grown with our own lives."
"Did you hear a word I said?" Angela lightly smacked Jane's leg. "The house might be gone. Your father might have divorced me and of course you three have grown. That was my job as your mother. But nobody can take my memories. Nobody can take all those years away from me. All the laughter, all the sorrow and all the love, those are mine and I wouldn't trade them for anything." At Jane's surprised look Angela smiled. "To be able to be your mother I would go back and do it all over again. Your father and I loved each other and we love you kids. I'll always be hurt and angry about how it ended, but it's like that movie you were watching when I walked in. I have to exist the way I existed for everyone else around me to be who they are."
When her mother touched her shoulder Jane let herself be pulled against her, and rested her head on her mother's shoulder. They stayed there together, watching the TV flicker on mute. Finally, eyes staring forward at the silent images on the screen, Jane cleared her throat "If I move in here and Maura decides in the end that she doesn't want forever I won't even have those Christmas lights Ma. I move in here and she doesn't want me anymore? I won't have anything."
"That girl is crazy about you Jane. Everyone can see it, you see it. You know it." Angela squeezed Jane tighter.
Jane nodded. "I do know. But do you remember after the warehouse shooting? Maura was ready to walk away from our entire history just like that. I couldn't handle it back then and that was before we were ever together. If we had another situation like that she'd get to rip my fucking heart out and I'd have no place to go. You live here with her and I wouldn't even have my crappy little apartment. Right now it's not like we're even engaged. There isn't any tangible thing that says we're going to work it out together."
"Do you remember last year at all? And don't answer because that is a rhetorical question." Angela sighed. "That woman had me living with her and your brother's bastard dropped on her doorstep the night she was almost murdered and her response was to step right up to the plate. It actually brought the two of you closer. So if the two of you being able to handle stress tossed at you is your worry, it's a poor one." Angela let that statement hang in the air before she continued. "Plus I am going to remind you that you weren't around Maura after she went to the hospital and calmed down after the warehouse shooting. But I was there. She wanted you, daughter dear. It was only when you went there like a block of ice that she started fighting with you. She wasn't ready for that from you."
Angela hit her calf again. "You think you are the only one that loses if you two don't make it? Do you remember how you made sure I moved out after that shooting? She might have had her house but you left her there alone and took her away from me. That was why I thought you were both assholes. The second one of you pushed the other was going to push right back harder. I'm going to hope you both learned something from how miserable you were over that and won't repeat it."
"I don't believe that we would." Jane sighed. "I know I couldn't. All I learned from that entire experience was I was unable to do anything but stay by her side."
"Then you have to be willing to put it all on the line." Angela rubbed Jane's shoulder. "Guns blazing, full throttle, no bullet proof vest and just go for it or you'll never have a chance to have your own ragged set of Christmas lights. You have to be willing to build a set to be left with one. Do you understand?"
Jane nodded, calm and suddenly desperately clear on what she had to do.
"Good, my work as a mother is done for the day." Angela glanced at the time. "Now can you turn on the local news? I want a storm update. Do you know if a travel advisory is still in place?"
"What is with you and the obsession with this storm?" The ringing of her phone meant Jane wasn't going to get her answer.
"Rizzoli."
A/N – Happy Christmas Eve to all :) I have refreshed the holiday nog and I hope you'll all raise a glass to Christmas lights and the gift of memories. I had HOPED to wrap this up by Christmas but this might end up being a boxing day type of story. I'm long winded. I try to shut up but it's of no use. No use at all. Pity my family.
More clues to the song… nobody's gotten it yet…. BUT one of you is very very perceptive :)
Fun note: I wrote the entire Ian situation as a way to include a touch of Run here… felt bad leaving one story out from the Christmas party AND I REALLY REALLY always wanted to write the first part of this chapter. We all know Maura loves coffee ;)
