OMG. Look at that! It's the update I promised TWO YEARS AGO::sob::

But look at how fast I did it!

Ok, so, re-establishing the pattern, this is Erk getting his revenge by transfering all the characters into the "real world" of the play. Bwahahahahah. Poor Florina and Hector - Hector's not that mean!

So, the characters (and who they play in this play)

So, just fyi - the faerie at the beginning is Serra. ::evil laughter::

QUESTION! - please reply
When I first started this story, there was the option of Florina and Hector going out, but a lot of people were unhappy about me breaking up Lyn and Hector. So, my question is this: do people want HxL, or HxF? Please let me know what you prefer? (I'm happy either way, so it doesn't really matter to me)


Characters:

Limstella – Titania
Lyn – Hermia
Florina – Helena
Nino – Hippolyta
Serra/ Rebecca/ Priscilla/ Ninian – faerie companions
Jaffar – Theseus
Matthew – Puck
Ehpidel – Oberon
Rath – Lysander
Hector – Demetrius
Lower – Egeus
Sain – Nick Bottom
Raven – Peter Quince
Lucius – Francis Flute
Will – Robin Starling
Dart – Tom Snout
Batre – Snug
Kent - Philostrate


The moon was high overhead, shining its full brilliance down on the forest scene underneath. Around the sky, the stars continued their endless dance, whirling in an endless ballet, even as they were mimicked by the faerie folk below. In a clearing that surrounded the mouth of a cave, faeries frolicked in the moonlight, celebrating in the court of the faerie queen Titania.

From the dark depths of the forest came the most mischevious of all faeries, the obnoxious Puck. A good-looking, pink-haired faerie noted his arrival and squealed – loudly, he thought with a wince – and ran over to him. Taking a step back to avoid the over-zealous faerie, Puck grinned and greeted the faerie. "How now, spirit! Whither wander you?"

Picking herself up from the dirt, where she had gone sprawling when Puck took a step back, she dusted herself off with a disgusted look on her face. Over hill, over dale, Thorough bush, thorough brier, Over park, over pale, Thorough flood, thorough fire," – Puck began to wonder if she had gone everywhere and if she'd ever shut it – "I do wander everywhere, swifter than the moon's sphere; and I serve the fairy queen, to dew her orbs upon the green. The cowslips tall her pensioners be: in their gold coats spots you see; those be rubies, fairy favours, in those freckles live their savours: I must go seek some dewdrops here and hang a pearl in every cowslip's ear. Farewell, thou lob of spirits; I'll be gone: our queen and all our elves come here anon."

Puck groaned. "The Queen's coming here? Great. We're all doomed." The faerie gave him an odd look, her head cocked to one side. Puck made a face and explained, "The King doth keep his revels here to-night: take heed the queen come not within his sight; for the Queen keeps for herself a lovely Indian boy, a lovely child, whom jealous Oberon also doth want. Should the two cross paths, there will be war."

The faerie wrinkled her nose. "I think you went off the script there."

"Yeah, well," Puck grinned, "it would be boring if we stuck to it, I think. Besides, people can almost understand us now."

"This is true," the faerie agreed, then looked at him a little harder. "Wait a minute - Either I mistake your shape and making quite, or else you are that shrewd and knavish sprite Call'd Robin Goodfellow: are not you he that frights the maidens of the villagery; skim milk, and sometimes labour in the quern and bootless make the breathless housewife churn; and sometime make the drink to bear no barm; mislead night-wanderers, laughing at their harm? Those that Hobgoblin call you and sweet Puck, you do their work, and they shall have good luck: are not you he?"

Puck preened himself at her description. "Yes, that is me. Would you like to hear about my exploits?"

The faerie looked at him with stars in her eyes. "Oh, would you?"

"Of course!" Puck said, striking a noble pose, ready to leap into his many, many exploits. Then he froze, his eyes fastened on one side of the clearing. "Uh oh."

"What?"

"Here comes Oberon, the faerie King!"

The faerie glanced over her shoulder. "And Titania, the faerie Queen!"

"This is great. Just, great. We're all dead."

The faerie backed away nervously, "Well, it was great meeting you Robin, but, um, I'll talk to you later, alright? Good, bye!" And with that she flitted away.

All around the clearing, the revelry of the faeries had calmed, and now the court of Oberon separated from that of the Queen, and the faeries stood watching their leaders stare off at each other, as each came in all their glory to confront the other. Oberon stood tall, with dark hair and odd, yellow eyes. His wife, Titania, was as beautiful as he was handsome, with the same dark hair and pale skin, and the same yellow, contemptuous eyes. With a look of distain on his face, dark-robed Oberon raised his chin to look down on his wife. "Ill met by moonlight, proud Titania."

To that greeting, Titania seemed to show no other emotion, simply glaring impassively at her husband – something she did anyway. "What, jealous Oberon!" She asked in a dangerously quiet voice. "Faeries skip hence:
I have forsworn his bed and company."

Oberon growled. "Tarry, rash wanton: am not I thy lord?"

"Then I am thy lady!" Titania countered. "Not that you would ever know it by the way you tarry with all those women; especially that Amazon queen who will soon marry Theseus?"

The air in the clearing suddenly turned very cold, but it wasn't coming from Oberon or Titania. It was much more dangerous. With an eye on the dark areas of the clearing, Oberon turned back to Titania. "How darn you!" he raged, "when you were the one sleeping with Theseus himself!"

"You're crazy," Titania said flatly, "making up lies from jealousy!"

"Why should Titania cross her Oberon?" Oberon asked, trying to seem rational while keeping his anger under control. "I do but beg a little changeling boy,
to be my henchman."

"Dream on, Oberon," Titania said, waving her hand dismissevly. "His mother was one of my handmaids, and the boy shall stay with me." She smiled coldly. "Eat your heart out, sucker."

From the shadows, Puck raised his eyebrow. And that faerie had thought he was off on the script?

Grinding his teeth, Oberon asked, "How long within this wood intend you stay?"

Black-haired Titania raised her face to the sky, as if thinking. "Perchance till after Theseus' wedding-day," she mused without looking at her husband. "If you will patiently dance in our round and see our moonlight revels, go with us; if not, shun me, and I will spare your haunts."

"Give me the boy and I will go with thee."

"Not for thy fairy kingdom," Titania proudly declared, for the first time showing a hint of emotion on her pale face. She raised her slender arms to the moon: "Fairies, away!"

With that call, the faeries of her court sprung from the ground, converging on their queen where she stood, swirling around her until there was nothing but a glowing ball of faerie light that suddenly disappeared, leaving Oberon in a nearly-deserted clearing, with aught but some attendants and a dark figure hiding nearby.

"Well, go thy way: thou shalt not from this grove till I torment thee for this injury. My gentle Puck," he said with a certain amount of sarcasm, "come hither!"

"Ho, my Lord," Puck greeted him as he emerged from the forest. "I have to say, that went better than I thought it would. Why, no one even got blown up!"

"Ha, ha," Oberon said without much humour, "Puck, do you remember me mentioning that time I saw Cupid fire an arrow that missed and struck a flower?"

"Um, yes…"

"Listen carefully." Oberon instructed, pulling Puck closer. "The juice of it on sleeping eye-lids laid will make or man or woman madly dote upon the next live creature that it sees."

Puck grinned. Oh, the possibilities, he thought.

Oberon continued. "Fetch me this herb; and be thou here again ere the leviathan can swim a league. Got it?"

"You got it boss man!" Puck said, saluting, before running out of the clearing.

Oberon watched Puck go, rubbing his hands in glee. "Having once this juice, I'll watch Titania when she is asleep, and drop the liquor of it in her eyes. The next thing then she waking looks upon, be it on lion, bear, or wolf, or bull, on meddling monkey, or on busy ape, she shall pursue it with the soul of love: and ere I take this charm from off her sight, as I can take it with another herb, I'll make her render up her page to me. But who comes here? I am invisible; and I will overhear their conference." With that, Oberon disappeared from the clearing, but still watching as two people entered the clearing – a large, blue-haired man and a smaller, shy, purple-haired thing; as they came closer, it became evident they were fighting, the man trying his best to get away from the woman.

"I love thee not, therefore pursue me not!" Demetrius exploded at his purple shadow. "Where is Lysander and fair Hermia? The one I'll slay, the other slayeth me. Dammit!" He growled. "You told me they came to the woods, but we haven't seen them ANYWHERE! You lied to me! Get thee gone, and follow me no more!"

Helena seemed to wish to speak, but could not, stammering a few times before hanging her head in despair, but continuing to follow Demetrius. Noticing this, Demetrius rounded on Helena, confronting her. "What is your problem?!? Do I entice you? do I speak you fair? Or, rather, do I not in plainest truth tell you, I do not, nor I cannot love you?" Demetrius glared at Helena. "In plain English – I don't want you, I don't love you, I never will. Now get lost!"

Helena opened her mouth to try and say something, but her courage failed her and Demetrius was already walking away. With a sigh, she pined, reciting in her head the words she wished to say to him. "And even for that do I love you the more. I am your spaniel; and, Demetrius, The more you beat me, I will fawn on you: use me but as your spaniel, spurn me, strike me, neglect me, lose me; only give me leave, unworthy as I am, to follow you. What worser place can I beg in your love,-- and yet a place of high respect with me,-- than to be used as you use your dog?" She would never say that out loud of course, as she ran to catch up with her unrequited love.

Demetrius frowned over his shoulder. "If you don't stop following me soon, I'm going to leave you here for the wild beasts to eat!"

Helena stammered in fear, but kept following him. "T-the wildest beast is not so wild as you!" Demetrius looked disgusted and stalked out of the clearing, Helena close on his heels.

Oberon watched the pair go, bemused. He felt sorry for the girl; she was pretty enough, in a delicate sort of way, but the man was a big brute, the kind who was neither observant nor, it appeared, kind when crossed in love. He sighed, the smiled as he spotted a familiar face. "Welcome wanderer!" he welcomed Puck as the mischevious faerie returned. "Hast thou the flower there?"

"Aye," Puck said, producing it with a flourish. "And I went through a great amount of trouble to get it, let me tell you – "

"Sure Puck, whatever." Puck pouted as Oberon smiled over the flower. "Alright, Titania is sleeping so I will go and spread some of this on her eyes, so that when she awakes she will fall in love with the first creature she sees. Oh! And Puck – "

"Yes my Lord?"

"Take some of this juice as well, and seek through this grove: a sweet Athenian lady is in love with a disdainful youth. Anoint his eyes; but do it when the next this he sees will be the lady – thou shalt know the man by the Athenian garments he hath on. But be careful! Got that?"

"Of course, my Lord," Puck said with an elaborate, mocking bow. "Fear not, your servant shall do so."

"Most excellent," Oberon said to himself, watching Puck dash off, smiling smugly to himself.


well, yay for extremely shortened scenes!

Anyway, this is my frist real update in ages, I hope you liked it! I realize it's not really that funny, but I'm trying to get back into the groove. I hope it's not too bad. And please tell me which pairing(s) you prefer.

Please R&R!