A/N: Next chapter! From here on out, I think that I can update on Sunday and Wednesday, so two chapters per week! ^^ Thank you everyone for the wonderful reviews, I enjoy each one. That being said, this note will be short because I'm being yelled at to go to bed XD Please enjoy the next chapter! :3
Warnings: Fluff, language
Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroshitsuji
Ciel paced the floor in his bedroom, glancing at the clock and cursing under his breath when he realized it hadn't changed since the last time he looked. He forced himself to take a deep breath and try to calm down, but found that it was near impossible. His mind was racing with too many thoughts for it to calm down and Ciel was quickly working himself into a panic attack.
It had been four hours since the kiss he had shared with Sebastian. He stopped and shook his head; kisses would be the better word. There had been four total, the middle two had been the best and just the thought of them made Ciel smile slightly. But that wasn't the point. The point was that Ciel ran from that room as though it was hell and Sebastian was the devil himself.
He felt like an idiot for acting that way and Ciel could already guess how Sebastian was feeling. Ciel's emotions were in turmoil and he didn't even want to think how Sebastian was faring. The older male had probably yearned for him longer than Ciel had and after getting a brief taste, Ciel had ripped it away from Sebastian.
Scratch that, he didn't feel like an idiot, he felt like an ass.
Dinner with his parents had been a stressful time with Ciel trying his hardest not to snap at his parents. He ate mostly in silence, barely aware of his actions and the only thing that ran through his mind was that Sebastian's cooking was better than the cooks were. Just that thought had Ciel's stomach churning.
Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian.
The man was always in his thoughts now and Ciel didn't even know when it had happened but somehow it had. It wasn't a bad thing and Ciel found that he enjoyed thinking about Sebastian and spending time with him. But what did it all mean? He wasn't the right person to answer that question and right when Ciel came home, he had called Elizabeth, hoping to get her advice.
She knew more about the matters of the heart and never failed to give him good advice. Except for the one time she told him that jumping off the swing when it was going really high was a good idea. That advice had landed Ciel in the hospital with a broken wrist when he was nine but that was all water under the bridge.
Now, Ciel was waiting for Elizabeth to call back. Her text message said that she would call at 8:25 and it was a minute past that. The extra minute was making Ciel's nerves grow even more frazzled and he paced another circuit around his room. He was by the door when the phone rang on his bed and Ciel made a dive for the device, nearly knocking it off the covers.
He fumbled for it and brought it to his ear. "You're late," he said, rolling onto his back.
"Hello to you too. I'm having a wonderful vacation thanks for asking," Elizabeth drawled. "Which, need I remind you; I am taking time from to help you."
"I know," Ciel muttered. "And thank you for that, I'm really grateful. It's just…I need your help with something."
Elizabeth hummed and Ciel could just see her waving her hand, urging him on. "I know, I heard your message. What's the matter, Ciel? I don't think I've heard you sound this troubled in a while." She asked, concern lacing her voice.
Ciel worried his lower lip between his teeth for a moment before plowing forward. "I kissed a guy today and I liked it." He mentally kicked himself for his words the moment they left his mouth.
A small giggle left Elizabeth's mouth. "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't laugh because this is obviously bothering you, but even you have to admit that it's funny." She cleared her throat and continued. "But what's so bad about that? You already knew that you liked guys and have kissed them before, so what makes this one any different?"
"For starters, its Claude's brother," Ciel admitted and winced at the small squeal that left Elizabeth's throat. "But you would never know that if you looked at them. Sebastian is Claude's opposite. He's mute, dresses in really baggy clothes, and had really greasy hair. He lives in the shadows and you would never know that he was there if you weren't looking. He works for us, but only part time and he doesn't make enough to support himself, and you can tell he's low on money."
"I see," Elizabeth said cautiously. "But you said he had greasy hair, not has. Something happened to change that tense."
Ciel nodded even though Elizabeth couldn't see. "I found out that he styled his hair to look greasy and dirty because of Claude, and I told him not to style it that way anymore. Now it's clean and makes his face look really nice," he finished softly, remembering the way Sebastian looked on the couch earlier that day.
"Go on," Elizabeth urged.
"I treated him poorly a few weeks ago by shouting at him for something that wasn't his fault and went to apologize the next day. He forgave me and since then, we've been spending time together," Ciel said, relaxing on the bed. "We play chess together and he's been teaching me how to cook. We went to the mall today and he's really good in the arcade too. He beat your skeeball record."
Elizabeth huffed at that. "I'll have to make sure to take it back when I return then," she said seriously, even though there was a smile on her face. "But he sounds like a nice guy, I fail to see what's wrong."
Ciel rolled onto his side, staring out the window. "He is a nice person. His personality is something that everyone would look for in a lover. He's funny, nice, is a great cook, and really smart. But…" he trailed off, trying to figure out how to phrase his next words. "He's not…You look at Claude and you know he's sexy and hot. He's good looking and yeah. But Sebastian…he's just not."
"And yet you kissed him," Elizabeth pointed out.
"Yeah, this afternoon. We came back from ice cream and I was playing with his hair because it's really soft. Next thing I know, I was kissing him and I couldn't stop." Ciel said, his voice pitching slightly. "He kissed me back and we kissed a few more times, but I had to leave because I was so confused and scared. I don't know if I should be feeling this way. I thought I wanted Claude, not his opposite brother." Ciel winced as the words came out harsher than he meant.
On the other end of the phone, Elizabeth snorted. "Do you still want Claude?"
Ciel faltered, not expecting the words. "I…I don't know anymore. I thought I did but then I met Sebastian, got to know him more and I like his personality. But I still like the way Claude looks." He paused. "Shouldn't I want Claude then?"
Laughter sounded over the phone. "Ciel, you're so silly," Elizabeth crowed. "The answer is obvious. You said so yourself that Sebastian's a bum who can't take care of himself. He doesn't care about his looks or he would try to dress better. If he's ugly and is poor, there's no need for you to waste your time on him. Personality or not, in the end it's only looks that matter. Drop that ugly fag and keep after Claude. Sounds to me like Sebastian's a nobody."
The words made Ciel bristle and anger blossomed throughout his chest as he sat up, clutching the phone tightly in his mouth. "Silence your mouth, Elizabeth," he snapped harshly. "You don't know Sebastian at all, so don't go saying things about him when you've never met him, never taken the time to get to know him. Sebastian's a brilliant man and is always nice to me. He's forgiving and understanding, more than most people I've met."
His chest heaved and Ciel knew his voice was raising but he couldn't silence his words. They were flowing from his mouth and they wouldn't stop until Elizabeth heard everything. How dare she judge Sebastian when she didn't know him?
"Sure he's obsessed with cats and might not have as much money as Claude, which means he has to live in a cheap apartment but it's better than nothing. He works hard at his job with us, even though he could get a job anywhere else. He graduated with a fucking 4.0 from college, did you know that?" He snarled. "So you don't you dare call him a nobody. Sebastian is far from that."
He was panting heavily by the time and a there was a wet spot on the covers of his bed from where a small amount of spittle had left his mouth during his rant. He was still angry and fuming, ready to tear into Elizabeth more but stopped at a soft hum from her. "Ah, and here I thought you said that only looks mattered compared to personality," she stated.
Ciel jerked on the bed and nearly groaned when he realized he had walked into Elizabeth's trap. He had taken the bait; hook, line, and sinker, and now he would have to eat his words.
"I hope you listened to your own words, Ciel," she continued softly. "It sounds to me like he's a good guy despite a slightly scruffy appearance. Everything that you just listed about him that you liked was strictly personality, not once did you mention his looks. And it sounds to me like you've fallen for him, despite how he looks. You like his personality and him, and you're willing to defend him against anyone who says otherwise. Quite harshly if I may point it out."
"Sorry," Ciel murmured, feeling guilty about snapping at Elizabeth now. "I just heard you say all those things about him and I couldn't sit here, listening to you criticize him when you didn't know the first thing about Sebastian."
Elizabeth nodded on the other end of the phone. "I know, Ciel. And know that I took no pleasure in saying those things, but you weren't going to listen to reason any other way. By targeting the person you care about, you jumped to defend him without thought. I think you know you're feelings but you're just scared to admit them because Sebastian is different from the norm."
Ciel sighed, knowing that Elizabeth was right and decided to stay silent. She knew what she was talking about and was hitting the nail on the head. It was best to let her keep talking, letting her lay out everything before him so there wasn't anything he could run from.
"He might not be as attractive as his brother or others, but don't be so shallow as to toss aside someone nice just because they don't meet the same appearance as a celebrity," Elizabeth stated. "There's nothing wrong with how you're feeling for him now and you should give him the chance. Don't let his looks deter you. You already said yourself that you kissed him earlier today and enjoyed it, despite how he looks. So that should say something right there."
A small laugh left Ciel's mouth. "You are wise, Elizabeth. I guess you were right when you said that females mature faster than males."
Elizabeth giggled and Ciel could feel the tension leaving his shoulders. "And you never know, maybe he's hiding a hot, sexy body underneath those baggy clothes he wears," she said, her voice bright and bubbly. "So tell me, what's he like? Will I get to meet him when I come back? I want to see this person you're so protective over."
Ciel shook his head as he ran a hand through his hair. Leave it to Elizabeth to get excited over something like this. Just because Elizabeth had smoothed things over for him for the time being, didn't mean that Ciel would be dating Sebastian anytime soon. The thought made him frown and he glanced at the wall.
"I don't know if I'm ready to date him yet," he blurted out.
Elizabeth made a tsk-ing noise. "Of course not. You two just met and it seems to me that there's still a small trust issue between you two. You need to get over that hurdle first before asking him out, or vice versa. But there's nothing wrong with spending time with him and letting the trust grow."
Ciel shifted on the bed. "Can we still kiss?" He asked, voice low. Kissing Sebastian that afternoon was something Ciel wouldn't forget anytime soon and Ciel yearned to kiss the older male again.
"That's something I can't tell you. You know how you feel with him and it would be best to ask him yourself," Elizabeth answered. "You both liked it, from the sounds of it, but at the same time, you have to be careful not to lead him on. Because it sounds to me that you still have a thing for Claude."
A groan left Ciel's mouth at that reminder. "Complicated," he whined. He didn't even want to factor in Master, which would bring up a whole new list of problems. "I don't know what to do," he admitted.
Elizabeth was silent on the other end before speaking again. "I can't tell you what to do, Ciel. That's something you have to do for yourself. You know how you feel and I have my suggestion but I'll stay silent for the time being. But my advice stays the same. Don't rush in your judgment because of what others say or believe, or by what you believe. There are times when the right choice isn't the most obvious."
Ciel nodded quietly, knowing that he had a lot to think about before tomorrow. He knew what he wanted and for the first time, the answer wasn't Claude. The desire for the man was still there but it wasn't as strong as it had been when Ciel made the deal with Claude all those months ago. Now it was just a low burning flame that was being overshadowed by the longing for Sebastian.
"Thank you for your help, Elizabeth. I know I'll have to figure out the rest on my own," he said lowly, though he wished that Elizabeth could tell him the right choice to make. But a part of Ciel already knew the answer. When Elizabeth had told him to drop Sebastian for Claude, there had been a part of Ciel that hadn't liked that advice. It wanted to cry out that he wanted Sebastian instead, but the desire to chew Elizabeth out for her comment had forced it to the side for the time being.
"You'll do the right thing, Ciel," Elizabeth said softly, her words making Ciel smile slightly. "You're smart and you know what you want, even if you don't want to admit it to yourself just yet. I'm sure that by the time I get home, you'll have picked someone and whoever it is, I can't wait to meet them."
Ciel laughed, feeling light for the first time since he left Sebastian's apartment. Now he couldn't wait to go back and see the other male. It would be awkward tomorrow; that much Ciel was sure of, but Elizabeth was right. He knew who he wanted and now Ciel had to let them know that. Now all he had to do was wait until that time and hope that Sebastian would listen to him.
The air outside of Sebastian's apartment felt thick as Ciel stood in front of the door. He sucked in a deep breath, the lingering scent of cigarette smoke and Sebastian's breakfast mixing together in Ciel's senses. It was a weird combination and Ciel could only hope that the man wasn't still asleep. It was past noon, the time when Sebastian would be up and waiting for him to visit. But the question was, was Sebastian still waiting for him today?
Ciel sighed, the air leaving his lungs in a giant whoosh before he raised his hand to knock on the door. He had a key and could let himself in but after yesterday, Ciel wasn't sure if that was a good idea or not. He waited patiently and with each minute that passed with no answer from Sebastian, Ciel found his worry growing even more. Surely Sebastian wouldn't do something stupid, right?
Panic blossomed in Ciel's chest and he fumbled for the key in his pocket. He tried to jam it into the lock and missed, making him curse. Another try proved fruitless as the key was upside down and finally on the third try, the key slid home. The door was unlocked and Ciel darted inside, hoping that he wouldn't find Sebastian in a less than favorable position.
The apartment was clean, Ciel noted as the door slammed shut behind him and that was a good thing, or at least Ciel reasoned. It meant that Sebastian had destroyed the place in desperation last night but at the same time, Ciel wasn't sure if Sebastian would act that way. It seemed to be more of a Claude thing than a Sebastian one.
"Sebastian?" Ciel called out, even though he knew the older male couldn't answer. A soft whirling sound met Ciel's ears and he recognized it as the sound of a bathroom fan running. Heart racing, Ciel ran to the bathroom, hoping that he wouldn't find Sebastian face down in the water or sitting in a tub of pink water with blood running freely from a cut wrist.
They were morbid thoughts but Ciel couldn't shake them as he tossed open the door to Sebastian's bedroom. The bathroom door was closed and Ciel could see a light shining through the crack at the bottom of the door. Cursing lowly, Ciel moved to the only thing separating him from Sebastian and tossed the door open.
It banged against the wall and steam rushed over Ciel's face. A squawk left Sebastian's mouth as he slipped under the water in surprise and he came up sputtering a second later. "You're alive," Ciel breathed and slummed against the door in relief. Sebastian's only reply was a deadpan look before the shower curtain was pulled shut, leaving Ciel to look at the Periodic Table of Elements.
Ciel stared at it for a moment before bursting into laughter. "You're such a dork," he said and heard Sebastian splash at the water in retaliation. The man poked his head around the curtain and pointed to the door, mouthing the word 'out' before vanishing once more. Still chuckling, Ciel held his hands up in mock defense. "I'm going, I'm going. I'll be in the living room while you finish primping."
The bathroom door was shut, along with the bedroom as Ciel moved out to the living room. He dropped down onto the couch and pulled a nearby pillow onto his lap. Judging by the blanket and pillow, Ciel would guess that Sebastian had slept on the couch last night and he brought the pillow to his face, inhaling the man's scent. It smelt like cinnamon and Ciel closed his eyes, letting the scent surround him while he waited for Sebastian to finish his bath.
He didn't have to wait long and Ciel opened his eyes as the bedroom door opened, Sebastian walking into the living room with a towel draped around his neck. Loose sleep pants and a shirt covered his body, and Sebastian rubbed at his hair with the towel. "Sorry to scare you like that," Ciel said, his lips twitching slightly. "I didn't interrupt your 'alone' time did I, Sexbastian?"
The older man glared at him as his hands gestured in the air, yelling at Ciel through sign language even though Ciel couldn't understand a word. But it was making Sebastian feel better and by the time he finished, Ciel could see that Sebastian had calmed down. Smiling slightly, Ciel patted the spot next to him on the couch, silently asking Sebastian to sit next to him.
"I'm sorry I left like that yesterday," Ciel said after Sebastian settled next to him. There was a good distance between them but that didn't bother Ciel as it would only allow him to think properly. "I didn't know what to think and all the emotions that I was feeling had me confused and scared so that in the end, all I could do was run."
Sebastian gazed at him but didn't say a word. It seemed as though the older male was going to stay silent and let Ciel get all the feelings off his chest before allowing himself to say his thoughts.
Ciel gripped the pillow tighter and plowed on. "I was confused because well…you're different then everyone else that I've been with," he admitted and winced slightly, knowing that the words came out wrong but it was too late to take anything back. "But it's not just your looks that are different but also your personality. It draws me in and keeps me asking for more. You're different in that I fell for your personality first and not your looks but now I find that all of you is starting to grow on me."
A piece of hair was brushed out of Ciel's face and he felt his cheeks grow warm as he continued talking. "I liked kissing you yesterday. It felt right and I wanted more. I wanted you." His face felt as though it was on fire and it made Ciel realize that this was the first time he had ever told someone how he felt about them. Sebastian was the first person he had felt this strongly for.
There had been others, but none of them sparked the same feelings that Sebastian did. Sure there had been lust and longing, like which Ciel felt for Claude, but what he felt for Sebastian was something different. It was deeper, purer, and honest. Ciel couldn't exactly put his finger on it but it was a warm feeling that spread throughout his body and only seemed to grow whenever Sebastian was around.
He looked up at Sebastian, looking at the man's face to judge his reaction but it was blank, as though Sebastian was scared to give away any emotions. Instead, a piece of paper was held out for Ciel and he reached forward to take it. 'And what does all that mean for us now?'
The question made Ciel pause because even he didn't know the answer to it. It was one he had debated about long and hard last night. Was he ready and willing to take that extra step to date Sebastian? Even though he didn't want to admit it, Ciel knew that there was the smallest hint of doubt and worry in his mind over that idea.
There was still a small part of him that wanted Claude over Sebastian. Claude was everything that Sebastian wasn't and it was hard to turn that down when the other choice was someone with only a good personality. But Sebastian…Sebastian…
"I don't want to date you…yet," Ciel said finally and gripped the pillow tighter. "And not because I don't want to but because I want to know you more. I want to show you how I feel. I know I'll make mistakes along the way and I'm not at all perfect, but that doesn't mean that I won't try. I…I can't stop thinking about you," he finished with a whisper.
Sebastian was always at the forefront of his mind now and even once, had been the subject of a wet dream. It had been hard to look at Sebastian after that but it did leave Ciel wondering what Sebastian looked like under the baggy clothes he wore. The image of a thin, lanky body came to mind and it wasn't horrible looking.
Paper crinkled and Ciel looked up as Sebastian held out the notepad for him. He accepted it silently and read over the words, heart pounding in his throat. 'I want to know more about you too but I do not wish to rush into a relationship when there is a chance that either of us could become hurt in the end.'
Ciel nodded as he passed the paper back to Sebastian. It wasn't a solid yes or no answer, and they would both walk away from either as nothing more than friends at the end of the day. But there was a chance that it could evolve into something else. That spark had been sewn and with time, could blossom into something bigger, that much Ciel was certain of.
He shifted closer to Sebastian and leaned against the older male, wanting to be close to Sebastian for the time. Ciel had spent half the night worrying about the situation at hand. But now that everything seemed to be settled and they were at an understanding, Ciel could feel the exhaustion settling in his body.
Sebastian gestured to a bag that rested on the living room table and Ciel realized that it was the iPod he bought the other day. He reached for it and pulled the box from the bag, looking at it before tapping Sebastian's chest with it. "It's for you," Ciel said softly. "Because your old one is about to die on you and then you'll be without music."
The older male stared at him, his hands frozen on his legs and Ciel laughed slightly at the expression on Sebastian's face. The box was pushed into Sebastian's hands and Ciel wrapped them around the gift. "Please, Sebastian. It would mean a lot to me if you accepted it."
Finally, Sebastian nodded and slowly accepted the box, making Ciel smile. He watched as Sebastian turned the box over in his hands, looking over the details before pulling him closer and pressing his lips to Ciel's temple in a silent thank you. Nothing else needed to be said and the silence was comforting between them.
Warmth passed between them and made Ciel's eyes heavy but something nagged at his mind that kept him from falling asleep just yet. It made him turn in Sebastian's grip and Ciel balanced on his knees as he looked down at Sebastian. "Can I kiss you again?" He asked, hands resting on Sebastian's shoulders.
It was probably a dangerous idea, as each kiss only seemed to pull Ciel in closer until there was no hope of escaping Sebastian's grasp. He was like a moth drawn to the fire that was Sebastian. His wings would become scorched and burned, but that was a price Ciel was willing to take and Ciel knew that Sebastian would catch him. Wouldn't let him fall should his wings burn away. Instead, he would draw Ciel close and breathe life back into him; breathe fire into him until they were the same and Ciel wouldn't be burnt again.
He could see the hesitation in Sebastian's eyes but it warred with the emotions that drove Sebastian forward and Ciel could see that the uncertainty was slowly fading away. It was replaced instead with a deep longing to share those feelings with Ciel and soft hands reached up to cup Ciel's face.
A sigh left Ciel's mouth at the touch and he lowered his head, lips meeting Sebastian's mouth as they pressed closer together. The action made Ciel's breath hitch and his body tingled at the touch. Every thought and doubt about whether it was a bad idea to fall for Sebastian left Ciel's mind as they broke apart before their lips were once again connected.
Because right here in Sebastian's arms, everything felt right and Ciel found that he couldn't bring himself to tear away from the arms that held him so tenderly.
The computer hummed softly in the background as Sebastian relaxed in the chair, his body molded to the plush piece of furniture. A low tune was on his lips while his fingers twitched in time to the beat that played through his head. His eyes were closed while the computer continued to run in the background, backing up videos and pictures to a secure site in the event that the servers crashed.
At the front of his office, the door opened and closed gently, admitting the one person who didn't need to knock and Sebastian didn't bother opening his eyes. "You could be an assassin you know," he said, lips twitching in a smile. "You walk softly enough for it and if the door didn't give you away, I would never hear you coming."
"Then you would be dead right now," The Undertaker answered. "Or I would've knocked you out and you would have woken to find yourself tied to my bed."
Sebastian chuckled. "Kinky, I like that. Remind me that we should use that for our next shoot, I rather like the idea." He opened his eyes and looked at the man, noting that he was wearing nothing but a soft gray robe. "Did you just finish your shoot?" He asked.
The older male nodded. "We're all done with that set and its being taken down as we speak. All that's left are three more stories and then we can start editing. This season is almost done and then a break; you promised me that you would take a month off to catch up on sleep and take better care of yourself."
"I know," Sebastian answered. "Once the products are finished and in stores, we'll take a month or two off. That way everyone has enough time to travel and enjoy the rest of summer before we start work again. We can afford the time off."
"And the brat?" The Undertaker asked. "You had been planning this break since before all this happened. What happens when you-?" He was cut off as Sebastian hissed lowly under his breath and spun around in his chair, looking at the computer. "You don't know what to do anymore, do you?" He questioned softly.
Sebastian shook his head. "No. It's grown complicated."
The Undertaker approached the desk and pressed his hands flat against the surface. "You agreed to do this, Sebastian and I will not sit by and watch you back out because of Ciel. You're hurting yourself by staying under Claude's thumb and if you don't get away from his grip, he will break you in time. Maybe not next week or next month, but it will come and you might not be able to recover after that."
A knock on the door cut off anything Sebastian had to say and they both turned to look at the entrance as William entered the room, Ciel in tow. "I found a rat," William stated, pushing Ciel into the room.
"We'll continue this discussion once I'm done here," Sebastian murmured and watched as The Undertaker scowled, clearly not happy with the situation. The older male moved to the door and vanished through the opening along with Will, the door slamming shut behind him.
Ciel shifted awkwardly in the middle of the room. "He sounded mad," he stated.
Sebastian stood up and circled around the desk. "We're just debating something, that's all. But I see that once again you failed to reach the top by yourself." He reached out to stroke Ciel's cheek and was surprised when the younger male jerked slightly. "Have I done something to offend you with my touch?" He asked.
"No, it's just…can we talk?" Ciel's head lowered and Sebastian watched him curiously. "I actually came by today to say goodbye, I think."
An eyebrow arched. "You think? Did I do something wrong?"
Ciel quickly shook his head. "No! You didn't do anything wrong at all. You still have an arousing voice and I long for your touch, and don't take this the wrong way, but you're just that. A voice and a touch that I can't see." A hint of red appeared on Ciel's cheek. "What we had was simply just a deal and I know you can't offer me more than pleasure. You can't offer me the relationship I want. We wouldn't be able to go out to the movies or dinner, or anything else that I want. But someone else can."
Sebastian cocked his head. "Oh?"
"I…I realized that there was someone else who could do all those things with me and even though it sounds really cheesy, it just feels right being with him." The red grew brighter and Sebastian smirked at the sight. "I know Sebastian can't talk and he doesn't look like a movie star, but I think I'm fine with that. How many people look like a movie star anyway? But what he does offer me is what no one else has before. I feel happy with him and I just…want to be with him, want to know more about him."
Sebastian blinked at the words and felt his fingers and toes tingle. His body was numb at the confession and for a moment, Sebastian felt as though he couldn't breathe. They were words that Sebastian had longed to hear for who knew how long and now they were falling from Ciel's mouth, open and honest.
The hope that had been dimmed had slowly grown in the past few weeks since they started spending time together. But now that flickering spark grew into a roaring fire that promised to burn Sebastian if he drifted too close. Ciel could easily change his mind or he could be playing a cruel game, keeping his true intentions buried deep.
If that was the case, then Sebastian would be devoured by the flames and he would find himself burned. But if Ciel was being honest in his desires and truly meant what he said, than that fire would be manageable and it would warm him instead of harm. And Sebastian was willing to take that chance.
"That's honorable of you," Sebastian finally said. "And very mature, something I can respect. I'm pleased to see that you've decided to look past everything."
"I have you to thank for that. I wouldn't have known this side of Sebastian if it wasn't for you and for that I'm glad. It's hard to think that I went this whole time without knowing Sebastian." Ciel shook his head. "He was right under my nose and I never once realized it until now."
Sebastian nodded and stood before Ciel. The urge to remove the blindfold was tempting. Tear it off now and let Ciel see exactly who he was talking to but that would be rash. Sebastian needed to think everything through before taking a step like that. As it stood now, he could let Ciel walk away and the younger male would never have to know about this. Never have to know that Sebastian had been Master the whole time.
It was tempting, but at the same time, the victory would taste like ash in his mouth. If things progressed further, Ciel would find out eventually. He would get curious as to what he did and while Sebastian could lie and say that he was just part of the film crew for DIE as Ciel believed, he wouldn't gain much from that.
Because Sebastian wanted to talk with Ciel, normally, as he was doing now. Damn Claude and his rules to hell. His brother had caused him enough stress and pain to last a lifetime.
"In two days, we finish with the shooting of this season," Sebastian said suddenly, the words leaving his mouth before he could stop them. "Come back then and I'll give you a proper goodbye gift. No touching or anything to make you feel guilty. But something that I think you would enjoy regardless."
Ciel looked unsure as Sebastian guided him to the door and opened it. "I don't want to do anything that would hurt him again," Ciel said as they moved into the hallway.
Sebastian shook his head. "I understand and I'm a man of my word when I say that I will not do anything sexual with you. Have I given you any reason to doubt me before?" Ciel shook his head and Sebastian passed him off to Will who was waiting patiently. "You will find that this will work in your favor. I hope to see you in a few days, Ciel."
He stepped back into his office as Ciel was led away. The doors were almost shut when The Undertaker pushed through and Sebastian looked at him. "Where you listening by the door that whole time?" He asked.
The Undertaker waved the question away. "I heard what he said, and while I find it sweet and touching, I have reason to doubt his intentions are true. I few months of good deeds and attention don't change how he was in the past."
Crimson eyes darted up to look at the older male. "He said that he wanted to know more about me and that in time, hoped we could start dating," he said quietly, trying hard to keep the hope from leaking out into his words but they escaped regardless. "Me. Not Claude or anyone else, but me. I know there's a chance he could be lying but there's also a chance he's not."
The older male sucked in a deep breath. "What are you thinking, Sebastian? Something is running through your mind and I know I'm not going to like it."
"I want to tell him," Sebastian said, the words drawing a groan from The Undertaker. "I want to tell him who I really am. He deserves to know the truth and this way there would be nothing to hide from him."
"It's a bad idea, Sebastian. What if he gets mad at you, because of the deal between you two, and decides to blow your cover?" Sebastian moved to the desk and The Undertaker followed him, still talking. "You knew who he was when you suggested the deal and he's going to believe that you were using him, forcing him to fall for you. He's going to think that he was used."
Sebastian winced. "I know. But hiding it from him until he finds out on his own is even worse. I have to tell him if I want to continue things with him."
The Undertaker sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair, looking frustrated. "You're playing a dangerous game, Sebastian. At least tell him before the break and before everything else we talked about earlier. Either way, we'll still go through with the plan, as you promised me. If he's fine with it, then you can tell him everything else. If he's not and things turn bad for you, then you still have the plan to fall back on."
Nodding, Sebastian turned to the computer where small thumbnails of his sessions with Ciel sat on the desktop. He had been planning to burn them to a DVD so he could give Ciel a way to remember their sessions once everything was said and done. But now there was a chance that Sebastian would have Ciel and the DVD's would be unneeded.
Sebastian could only hope that in the end, everything would turn out for the better.
