This is Puck's p.o.v. He's not a resident in the Hummel-Hudson home, but he's there a lot lately. All the boys are. They're graduating, they need to spend as much time together as they can. And besides:
"You don't have any preference, either way, about who Puck ends up with?"
"What about Kurt? What about a little Purt episode?"
No, I don't ship them romantically. But as Mark says in that interview, I wish they had joined forces in some way, before the end of the season.
Also inspired by the Glee Superlatives, in which Chris confesses to being the biggest brainiac, and spouting European history facts all the time that no one cares about. Also in the Regis & Kelly interview with Jimmy Kimmel, when he said he took AP European History. Why does that not surprise me? Stupid sexy nerd... ugh...
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. It belongs to RIB, the writers, and FOX.
Nooks and Crannies
by HappyValentina
Chapter 9
"So... where exactly did you get that dress, Lola?"
Puck sighed and put his pencil down for a second, frowning at Kurt.
"Can we not talk about that? I do have a lot to study, and you do have a lot to help me with."
"Just curious," Kurt shrugged, trying to hide his amused smile. Puck rolled his eyes and went back to poring over his book and taking notes.
Puck was studying European Geography. Again. He knew he was lucky that he was getting to retake the test; heck, he was lucky that Coach Beiste had spoken on his behalf on the whole issue. But after she had told him that he was getting another chance, he panicked, because he still had no idea how he was going to pass this time. He still hated European Geography, and all those facts and city names just would not stick.
Until he thought of Kurt.
It occurred to him that week, when he overheard Kurt talking to Blaine and making some joke about the president of France and his wife that apparently was really funny.
Why hadn't he thought of Kurt before? He was clearly the biggest nerd when it came to Europe. Puck could have probably passed the test the first time if Kurt had tutored him. Sure, the other guys were really helpful, but if there was one person who was always spouting random facts about countries in Europe, who spoke French perfectly -or at least it sounded perfect to Puck-, and who knew scarily enough about the British royals, it was Kurt Hummel. And maybe, with his mad organizational skills, he would have found a way for Puck to learn everything he needed in no time.
That, or he might have driven Puck mad.
But Kurt had been preoccupied with his NYADA audition at the time. This time, however, regardless of their tight rehearsal schedule for Nationals, he had to get Kurt to tutor him. It was his only hope. If he waited until after Nationals, he wouldn't have enough time. So he risked Rachel Berry's and Sue Sylvester's wraths, and asked Kurt to help him.
Kurt, organized as always, made him a schedule for studying during every free period, every free minute, any second that Rachel wasn't looking; he arranged a couple of study sessions after school, and even made him a mock test. Puck wondered suddenly if he had made a mistake.
Kurt sat cross-legged on the couch in his living room, looking over a map and a set of flash-cards he was making to test Puck at random.
"Which is the smallest country in Europe?" he asked.
"Um..." Puck scrunched his face up in concentration.
"Hint: it's also the smallest country in the world."
"Oh! Oh, I know this one, I know it..."
"Another hint: there are only guys in it. Old guys, all in dresses, by the way, and funny hats."
Puck gave him a weird look because he thought that he was joking.
"...The Vatican?" he answered tentatively.
"Yes," Kurt smirked. Puck mentally fist-bumped himself.
"And that wig. It had a subtle Ginger Rogers feel to it, with a bit of Marilyn Monroe, and I can't help but feel you've been watching old musicals or Smash."
Puck rolled his eyes again. "What? No!"
"That's not a bad thing, Puckerman. It's okay if you watch musicals. I encourage you to. Especially Ginger Rogers. She's brilliant."
"Look, it was the cheapest wig I could find, and I was just trying to prove a point. Would you let it go?"
"Sorry, it was just really funny and weird," Kurt said with a small laugh. "Largest country in Europe."
"Russia?"
"Capital?"
"Moscow."
"Good."
Oh, he was so going to nail that test this time. Puck tapped his pencil happily on his book.
"On the other hand, you said I have no balls."
Puck looked up at Kurt, confused. Kurt's eyes were fixed on the map on his lap.
"What? When did I say that?"
"When you walked into the choir room wearing the most hideous dress and wig combo ever," Kurt said nonchalantly. "Largest city in Europe?"
"I didn't say you had no balls," Puck retorted. Kurt glanced up.
"Yes, you pretty much did. You said someone had to have the balls to do what was needed to win the competition," he replied. "And since I was the one being coaxed into wearing a dress for Nationals, and I refused, then you must have mean me."
Puck wasn't sure if Kurt was angry or hurt or just trying to make him feel bad. But that really hadn't occurred to him when he said that.
"Dude, I swear I didn't mean you. I was talking to all the guys. Any of them could've offered when you refused, but they didn't. I almost thought Finn would have. I mean, he's your brother, and plus he seemed to really like it that time he dressed up as Lady Gaga. I was sure he'd at least consider it," he explained defensively. "Not that any of us wants to see him in that flapper dress."
Kurt chuckled. "True. Largest volcano in Europe?"
Puck thought for a moment. "Etna."
"Which is in...?"
"Sicily."
"Bravo."
Puck smirked again, self-satisfied. He skimmed the page for a moment, but stopped in the middle of jotting down something.
"I don't think that," he said, looking up at Kurt again. Kurt stared at him in confusion.
"That you have no balls, I mean," Puck added. "I think you're actually pretty ballsy."
Kurt chuckled again, but didn't look too convinced that Puck was being serious at all.
"No, seriously. I heard you nailed your NYADA audition by changing the song at the last minute, ripping off your clothes and dancing around in gold pants? Come on, that takes guts."
Kurt blushed a little. "When you put it like that, it sounds so inappropriate. Who told you I ripped my clothes off?"
"Finn."
Kurt shook his head. "Typical. I didn't just strip or something, I had another outfit underneath."
"Still. Guts," Puck said with a shrug.
"Okay."
"Plus, you went to spy on Vocal Adrenaline for us," Puck continued. "You went to spy on the Warblers when I told you last year. Although I have to say, you got a boyfriend out of the whole thing, and you haven't thanked me for that yet."
Kurt narrowed his eyes and tried to hide his smile.
"Also, you came back to McKinley even when you were probably safer in Dalton. And you wore a skirt to last year's prom, and then you went up on a stage and got crowned Prom Queen." Puck nodded slowly. "That's all pretty ballsy in my book."
Kurt sighed. "Okay, I get it. You don't think I'm a wimp or something."
"No, I actually think you're pretty brave."
Kurt bit his lip to keep from smiling. "Well, thank you, Puckerman. That means a lot coming from the guy who used to toss me into dumpsters almost every day."
Puck rolled his eyes. "Do you always have to bring that up? I think I've more than made up for it."
Kurt nodded. "You're right. It's time to put the past behind."
Puck went back to taking notes silently, while Kurt was flipping through an almanac. He snuck a glance at him for a moment, thinking that he wanted to say something, but didn't know what. It suddenly occurred to him that Kurt was being rather nice to him, when he had always been under the impression that he really resented him for the aforementioned dumpster-tosses and slushies and that time that the football team nailed all of Kurt's patio furniture to the roof -which, in retrospect, didn't make much sense to him-.
He realized that Kurt was a much more decent person than he always thought. Even if they had become teammates and somewhat friends the past couple of years, Puck wouldn't have expected that the boy he used to bully so relentlessly would be willing to spend an afternoon tutoring him so that he could graduate.
And it made him feel all that much worse.
"But we had some good times at the beginning too, right?" he asked out loud.
Kurt looked up from his work, puzzled.
"Football, 'Single Ladies'. That time with Finn in the Lady Gaga dress," Puck listed, wondering if what he was saying was making any sense at all.
Kurt laughed. "And most recently, when you spiked the punch at prom and got everyone drunk," he shook his head.
"And I wore a dress this week," Puck said, strangely proud of himself.
"And you wore a horrible dress this week, yes," Kurt repeated, scrunching his nose at the memory of it.
"And if I have to wear a dress to win us Nationals, I just might," Puck declared. Kurt laughed again and shook his head.
"I don't think so, Lola. Coach Sylvester will chop your head off if you perform at Nationals looking like that."
"It was worth a shot," Pucks shrugged.
"It was a hot mess," Kurt pointed out. "Italy is located in the peninsula called..."
"Apennines Peninsula."
Kurt made a thumbs-up sign and continued to leaf through the almanac. Puck finished the last of the notes from that chapter, and closed the book with a sigh.
"To be fair, I think she was onto something," he said, rubbing his eyes tiredly.
"Who?" Kurt asked, not looking up.
"Coach Sylvester. I think she had a point about you possibly winning us the competition."
Kurt growled and slumped his shoulders. "I'm not doing it-"
"I'm not trying to talk you into anything," Puck interrupted, holding up his hands defensively. "I'm just saying you could probably pull it off."
Kurt blinked blankly back at him.
"The dress," Puck clarified.
The half-smile that came on Kurt's face was a cross between fondness and confusion. It wasn't until then that Puck realized that the comment sounded a bit odd.
"Ahem."
Puck felt a tinge of cold at the back of his neck as he turned his head slowly, to find Blaine, Rory, Mike and Sam standing in the doorway. Blaine stood comically with his arms crossed and his chest puffed out, eyes narrowed at him, while the other boys just looked plain amused.
"Are you flirting with my boyfriend, Puckerman?"
Puck rolled his eyes and slumped back in his seat, bracing himself for the endless teasing that would ensue. "How long have you guys been standing there?"
"Never mind that, we seem to have gotten just in time before something inappropriate happened," Sam joked, walking in with a bowl of popcorn, and shoving a handful into his mouth before offering some to Kurt and Puck.
"I should warn you, my boy Blaine here knows boxing, so you best not cross," Mike added, carrying in two liters of Coke.
"Ha ha, hilarious," Puck said flatly, snatching the bowl of popcorn and tossing a few kernels at Sam and Mike.
Blaine pretended to strut in, maintaining eye contact with Puck and sitting on the couch, purposely seating himself between Kurt and Puck, and draping an arm over Kurt's shoulders possessively while still sneering at Puck. Kurt, meanwhile, was shaking with restrained laughter as he tried to continue what he was doing.
Artie rolled into the room with a stack of pizza boxes and paper plates on his lap. "Alright! European Geography study session part two is underway!" he said, putting the pizzas on the coffee table. Finn walked in with a box of cookies under his arm, an ice bucket and a stack of red Solo cups. There was a slice of pizza hanging from his mouth.
"Dude, not to put any pressure on you," he said to Puck, "but you better hurry up and learn all this stuff so we can go back to practicing the routines, otherwise Rachel will hurt you."
"And I will hurt all of you if you get any grease marks on anything," Kurt threatened. "Now, what is the capital of the European Union?" he asked, pointing his pencil at Puck.
"Um..." Puck mumbled, feeling a little blindsided.
"It's also the capital of Belgium," Kurt hinted. Puck tried to remember what he'd just written in his notes.
"Starts with a 'B', as in 'Blaine', 'boxing' and 'boyfriend'," Mike teased through a mouthful of pizza. Puck glared at him, while Blaine cracked his knuckles noisily. Rory laughed.
"Brussels?" Puck offered.
"Good."
"Yessss."
"Six more hours of this and I think you'll be fine," Kurt said. Puck groaned.
"Hey, we wouldn't be in this situation if last time you hadn't decided to cram eight hours before the test," Artie pointed out. "At least you've got plenty of time now."
Kurt nodded proudly. "If we work non-stop today, and you use my system for the rest of the week, you're getting an A or at least a B."
"I only need a D minus," Puck said, chewing on a cookie. Kurt shot him a deadly glare.
"You're getting a A."
"But-"
"I'm not doing all this work so you can just score a D minus," Kurt growled. "You're gonna ace that test so hard that it'll seem like you cheated."
"What? Okay, fine, calm down."
Thankfully the task of studying was momentarily put on hold while everyone got some pizza and a beverage. Blaine poured a glass of Diet Coke for Kurt and went to get them a couple of slices of pizza. Kurt caught Puck's eye for a moment and mouthed 'thank you'.
Puck chuckled to himself and stared around at the other guys. If someone had told him three years ago that he'd be best friends with such a band of misfits, he probably wouldn't have believed it. But these misfits were the greatest friends anyone could ask for. And pretty soon, they would all be going their separate ways. And he wasn't sure if he was ready. Where in the world was he gonna find friends like these guys?
He was really gonna miss this.
Sorry this took me so long, but I've been so busy with work and some other stuff, I didn't get a chance until recently.
(By the way, I don't know any jokes about President Sarkozy and Carla Bruni, but a friend once drew a parallel between them and Klaine.)
I tried coming up with a nook for 'Nationals', but no such luck just yet. So Nooks & Crannies might be back after the final episode of the season, and then some... :)
Thank you for reading. Hope you don't cry too much with today's finale. Hope I don't either.
-Valentina
