AN: First let me say thank you for all your lovely reviews so far… Emotion and storyline wise for Jax & Jenna this is a big chapter I already had the major arcs for this seasons story already planned out and mostly written, Kurt Sutter's story just gave me the opening I needed which was so very nice! Please don't hate me I have a plan I swear! As always I own nothing but Jenna, I twisted changed and moved some stuff around but everything recognizable belongs to Kurt Sutter! So don't sue me this is just for fun! Enjoy and please review!-Meg
Jenna rolls into her silent kitchen to see Opie and Jax standing around looking uncomfortable as Paige sat staring at her hands placed on the kitchen table. "What did you do?" She directed at Opie. "She kinda caught Lyla and I..."
"Christ you idiot... go.. go outside or something." She mad shooing motions with her hands.
Opie slipped out she looked to Jax for help as he leaned on the bar. The look told her he'd been where Paige was and it wasn't easy. Jenna rolled up next to her. "Paige?" "She's not my mom and won't be..." The girl indignantly stared straight a head.
"I know..." Jennasis murmured. Jax came around the bar squatting next to them. He gently took Paige's chin in his hand and forced her to look at him.
"It does get better Paige I promise. It's always going to suck but it won't always hurt so bad." he said. "Do they have to be so obvious? It's like he's over her."
"He's not, Lyla only helps him hurt less Darlin'." Jenna ran a hand down the back of Jax's hair. At that point she was almost certain she'd never loved Jax more. "You're sure?" Paige asked.
"Yes Honey, I'm positive." Jax answered.
She nodded.
"Go get in the truck I'll take you and Trey to school."
"Thanks Uncle Jax at least you understand."
"Anytime Darlin." he kissed her forehead. Jenna watched Paige leave.
"You did good." "I've been there is all."
Jenna leaned over and kissed the top of Jax's head "Thank you."
"Opie lock the damn door from now on!" She shouted as she rolled past him to the truck.
Jenna and Lyla came into the club to see Kozik and Tig fighting.
"What I miss?" Jenna said taking a sip of her chocolate malt.
"What in the fuck?" Lyla murmured
"Welcome to life in SAMCRO baby girl. Obviously we prescribe to the theory that a little violence solves everything." She said taking Lyla by the arm and skirting around the fight. "Hey, babe What's this about?" Jenna asked once they'd reached Jax and Opie. "Kozik wants to join SAMCRO they are working out their differences."
"I got twenty on Tig fuckers mean he bites any takers?" Jenna called out.
"I'll take that bet Song bird." Sunshine sidled up next to her.
"It's your money to lose shit kicker." Jenna winked at him and Jax gritted his teeth.
"Nice to see some things never change no matter who you marry."
"You're only sayin' that because I never Welch on a bet Shiny."
"I was talkin' bout the nickname but I always did like that particular aspect of our relationship."
Jenna laughed. "Payment is strictly monetary from here on out."
A few minutes later Sunshine handed over his twenty.
"What was that?" Jax asked as they walked outside.
Jenna looked over at him confusion knitting her brow. "What was what? I got a doctor's appointment you coming with?"
"You flirting with the ken doll in a cut?"
"That wasn't flirting Jackson that was me fleecing Deacon outta twenty bucks."
"Deacon huh?" Jax murmured and she whipped around to face him.
"Jesus Jackson, Really? Yes, Deacon is his name. Do you realize you are making yourself seem about as mature as Trey right now? Are you comin' with me or not?"
"Yes, I'll go with you I need a source from Tara to pawn those scripts off on. The tracker won't refund us our cash its our only shot."
"Let me sell the Indian I don't trust her when it comes right down to it." she transferred into the truck closing the door.
"No you aren't selling it."
"Its not like the damn thing will ever get any use Jax. That part of who I am was put down along time ago."
"And its my fault lets not forget." he grunted out.
"What is your problem Jackson? Did I say it was your fault? Have I fucking ever? No, and I won't guess what Jax life sucks sometimes and we don't always get a vote! Deal with whatever it is that's eating at you and do it fast because I'm losing my patience and this time you aren't running me off!" she slammed the car into gear and sped off.
"What was that?" Opie asked.
"I let old demons bite me in the ass and it pissed her off."
Jenna found Jax talking to Tara in the empty neonatal waiting room.
"God, this place gives me willies I hope my baby is never here."
Tara smiled at her. "You'd be surprised how often we hear that. How's the Teller fetus?"
"Still in there…"
"Babe I completely-" Jax fumbled.
"Its fine she wasn't turned right so we still don't know if it is a girl. Everything else was fine. I'm going to go give your mom a copy of the sonogram."
"Jen, I'm sorry."
"You were busy obviously and she's fine." She rolled off.
"Sometimes I just can't win for losing with that woman."
"But that's never really bothered you now has it Jackson?" Tara smirked at him.
-/-
"What's that face mean baby?" Gemma asked. Sitting up in bed.
"I'm just not sure its ever going to get better Mom. Be good again?"
"It will. Just hang on to him. Hold on to the things that last baby, because lets face it not a lot does in our world, peace never lasts, blood will always be shed in the club's name even that's not really the reason, but love…" She smiled at her. "Like you and Jax have its rare and will outlast every other thing. You'll stand the test of time my girl, it won't be easy or even fair but you can do it just hang on."
"Feels like that's all I do."
"I know, keep doing it. What you got there?" she gestured to the paper in Jenna's hands "Picture of your grandbaby." Jenna rolled to the bedside.
"I totally see some Teller in there." Jenna smiled.
"I'm too old to discern facial features, this getting old thing is for the birds." Gemma muttered and Jenna snickered "They are doin' the three dimensional one to check for the defect in the next few weeks I'll bring you one."
"Even if Grandma's a jail bird?" Gemma whispered.
"Especially if Grandma's a jail bird. Any regrets Gemma?"
"Tons Darlin' but puttin' a cap in that bitch ain't one." Just then Jax walked in. "I need to talk to you Ma."
"Okay."
Jenna made no move to leave. "And I need you to leave Jenna."
"Of course you do." she muttered letting off her chair breaks
"Its not…the less you know the better baby."
"Yeah, Well I'll be at the club house or do you not want me there either?"
"Jenna."
"Just don't Jax." and she rolled off. "Bye Gem."
"Bye baby."
"What are you doin' son?"
"Right now Ma, I'm swimming against the damn current."
Jenna was sitting on the couch reading when the raid started in all its shouting chaos. As she was cuffed she shot Jax the dirtiest look she possibly muster. The girl cuffing her was a friend from high school. "Sorry Jennasis."
"I've been getting that a lot today. Its alright Cammie you are just doin' your job."
-/-
"Someone had better fuckin' tell me why my pregnant ass was just cuffed like a common sloppy criminal." Jenna screamed. As the cops rolled away.
"They were just rattling our cages sis." Opie tried a calming tone.
"I don't give a fuck Opie, I want to know the reason and now."
"They were lookin' for scripts." Opie muttered.
"How could they know?" Jax pondered.
Jenna laughed. "Really Jax? How could they ever know? I'll kill the bitch I told you… I fuckin' told you!" She rolled off.
"Park your ass woman!" she swung around fire in her eyes.
"Oh shit she's gonna hit you man." Juice said. She rolled toward him.
"Jenny, just…" Opie tried.
"Jax got himself into this he can get himself out." she said coldly. She grabbed Jax by the cut. "In case you have forgotten I take orders from no one. However if you would like for me to remain here and let you handle it, It
would help you greatly to rephrase your request. You got that cowboy?"
"I would like for you to stay here and let me handle it for the safety of our child. Please?"
"There, wasn't that hard to be kind was it? I'll stay but only because you used the baby as your trump card. Dirty pool Jackson."
Jenna sat up under the club house awning and watched Ima approached Jax. They conversed a little before he rolled on. Jenna shook her head.
Later that night.
Jenna sat looking at old vinyl records of hers that Piney kept in the club apartment. Tears she couldn't explain away dripped down her cheeks, Sunshine slipped quietly into the room.
"What are the tears for Songbird?"
"If I knew, I wouldn't be crying Deacon."
"I'm just tired. Ignore me."
"No." he walked over cupping her chin in his hand. "He's changed you. Made you less than you were and you don't even see it." he kissed her and it took her a full minute to react. She shoved him away. "I love Jax. He didn't change me you just don't know the real me."
Jax had walked back to check on Jenna he saw her kissing him and turned and left finding Ima leaning on his bike. "You still need that ride home?" Jax asked,
Jax has done a lot of stupid things in his life but half way through fucking Ima he knows this is by far the stupidest. He can't get Jennasis' face out of his head. he knows Jenna like back of his hand. That surprisingly small pinkish slightly raised scar in the small of her back that he runs his fingertips down isn't there, curves and lines in all the wrong places, the reedy little moan Ima is making makes him want to smother her with a decorative pillow. Their pace and rhythm is off completely it takes him twice as long to get off and he really just wants to end it now because he knows he's fucked it up real good this time.
He collapses on Ima's sweaty too sweetly smelling body and longs to cry but fights the amazingly strong urge to do so.
"That was…"Ima mumbled.
"The worst thing I've ever done to Jenna in the twenty six years I've known her."
"Crippled bitch is really that good huh?"
"Don't." he threw her off him. Dressed and left.
-/-
Jenna lay in bed alone. She heard the shower run.
Clean of the experience at least physically Jax crawls into bed.
"There's only one reason a man comes in late at night and showers Jackson. I hope she was worth it." Jenna murmured. And his heart crashes into his stomach.
