Disclaimer: We don't own Death Note or any of the characters, except for Dr. Stratton. He's all ours. ;)

Warning: LxLight, Mpreg, major OOCness, Rated M for adult content, very dark themes, sex, nudity and language. Please, no flames. You have been forewarned of the story's contents.

Tears In The Cradle

By Pain's Disciple

Co-written with UnderneathTheRose

Chapter Nine: L's Reactions

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The color drained from Ryuzaki's face as his stomach tightened and he starred at the teen in front of him as if he were a ghost. His heart began to pound. He could have sworn it was going to beat right out of his chest and bounce across the bedroom floor, and he couldn't do anything to stop it. As his eyes drifted from Light's crying eyes to his shirt covered belly, Ryuzaki shut his eyes, far too scared to look at him.

His mind turned into a blender, stirring and mixing with emotions he never knew he had. He suddenly didn't know which way was up. He tried to take the pill and the water, but he somehow forgot how to swallow. All he could hear was Watari telling him to drink the water and the sound of something slamming.

When he finally found some ground, he let Watari help him stand on his feet, even though he was sure he'd fall right back down if Watari were to suddenly let go. He didn't take the pill, he was too scared he'd choke on it, but he did take the water. In fact he gulped it down like it was no body's business. Then he looked straight into Watari's eyes and stated, "I'll be needing some vodka."

Watari disapproved of drinking, especially such a hard liquor, but he figured in certain times, like this, it couldn't hurt too much. "Hmm. I'll bring some ice as well."

As Watari left, Ryuzaki made no effort to go to Light. The teen hid himself in the bathroom and that was fine for the black haired detective. He didn't know what words might slip out of his mouth if he saw him, and he was sure it would not be positive.

POSITIVE.

With that thought Ryuzaki's head began to spin again. Eight weeks… That meant two months. Two months of growing was inside of Light. Two months of symptoms. Everything fell into place and made so much sense. Why didn't he put the pieces together? It was so easy! Light's appetite, the vomiting, the sensitivity to smell and the way he clung to Ryuzaki at night. Even the nightmares. Everything made sense.

But why didn't anyone tell him sooner? Why didn't Light tell him? He deserved to know damn it! That sneaky little Stratton. He knew and he said nothing! And people wondered why he hated him so much. This was one of the exact reasons.

But…he wasn't very approachable lately, was he? He wrapped all of Light's symptoms up as crazy, or terminal illness. But a pregnancy was terminal was it not? The end of the world. At least for Ryuzaki.

L.

The world's greatest detective…and a father-to-be?

Oh bloody hell! Chills ran up and down his spine at the terrifying thought.

Ryuzaki pulled out his cell phone and dialed Stratton's emergency line. After about five rings the man answered sounding desperate and worried. "L! Are you okay? What happened? Are-"

"I am calling to thank you for keeping me in the dark." Came the angered tone.

Stratton calmed down immediately and smirked, realizing Light must have told him about the pregnancy. He calmly replied, "I don't pay your electric bill. Should be more careful about paying your bills on time……among other things apparently. He's seventeen, you pervert."

"How am I always the pervert?!"

Stratton ignored him. "I have to go. Please don't call me like this again. This line is for real emergencies." With that he hung up.

Ryuzaki tossed the phone across the room in anger. It hit the closet door with a bang and slid to the floor. He noticed then that his arm was bleeding from the scratches Light gave him in his desperate attempts to get away.

Shit, blood was dripping down his arm. He rolled his sleeve all the way up and hoped Watari would bring up bandages as well.

Feeling a lot calmer now, he sat on the bed holding his now aching arm and took a deep breath concentrating on his breathing, feeling as if he were to focus on anything else he would forget to breath.

Gradually the knob turned and the bathroom door opened just a crack. Young amber eyes peaked out and met confused black pools.

Ryuzaki sighed seeing the perfectly beautiful teen standing across the room. He ordered with a calm gentleness, "Come out of the bathroom."

Shy and frightened, the teen stepped out, arms wrapped around his abdomen as if he were still hiding the secret.

Ryuzaki tried to keep from screaming, but his voice still held an underlying tone that pinched Light's heart. "How long have you known?"

"About a month or so."

"Why did you decide not to tell me?"

"You wanted me to pretend nothing happened between us. So I did."

"So you were going to exclude me?"

"You don't want this baby."

"That's not… I mean.." Ryuzaki faltered with the words. Did he want this baby?If he did, could he have this baby? His life was pretty dangerous after all. Light's questions of drawings and pets and first words now made perfect sense. The boy was sizing him up. Seeing if he'd make a good father. That struck a chord. Could he be a good dad?

Light's voice broke into his thoughts. "You don't have to lie Ryuzaki. Not anymore. Let us both be honest. Neither of us want it. Neither of our lives are stable enough to raise a child, not to mention the fact that you are L and I'm possibly Kira. But with that all on the side, you don't love me and I have college. I can't walk down stairs and say, "Dad guess what? I'm having your grandchild and L's the father". He doesn't even know I'm sexually active, let alone had a one night stand with you, his twenty-five year old boss who accuses me of being Kira. Then there's everyone else. What would they think? And me and my body. I don't think I'm capable of carrying a baby or taking care of one. It's a long term commitment. I don't want people seeing me gain weight and get-"

"Shut up." Ryuzaki dropped his head into his hands frustrated, and just breathed. In his twenty-five years of life, how many woman had he been with? How many men? He lost his virginity at Wammy's school with someone he cared nothing about at the age of nineteen. He could count them on his two hands, so it wasn't like he was a sex god, but how many of those came back to say they were pregnant?

NONE.

ZERO.

So how did this happen? How did he manage to let it happen?

As the shock wore off and was replaced by an anger fueled by fear inside of him, Watari reentered the room with the a glass of vodka, an icepack, and a first aid kit.

"Here is your drink Ryuzaki." Watari set the full glass down into the night stand and turned to the quiet teenager. "Light, would you like a little breakfast?" He smiled encouragingly at the boy, knowing he must be starving.

Light looked at Ryuzaki as if for permission at first, then he nodded timidly at the polite old man.

"Would pancakes be something you'd like? It would only take a small minute to make."

"Y-yes. Sure. Thank you."

"With blueberries?"

"Blueberries sounds good."

Ryuzaki practically growled. How was Watari so calm about this? "Fuck the pancakes!" He shouted. "Get Stratton here now."

Watari sighed before handing the other items to Light and exiting the room. Light wondered why the old man put up with so much nonsense from a twenty-five year old sugar freak.

Light frowned. He knew it was the same reason he did.

Love.

He tried to think of something to say, but his mind went blank. However, it seemed Ryuzaki suddenly had a lot to say. "I thought you were dying. I thought I was going to lose…to lose you."

That shocked Light. Ryuzaki actually cared?

"But no!" The man shouted, losing any and all control he possessed of his anger. "You're pregnant! Why the hell didn't you tell me? I have been raking my brain trying to solve you Light. I've been so worried that I can barely stand to be in my own skin. What, did you think you could handle this on your own? Did you think you could hide this from me? Do this on your own? Exclude me? Hold it against me?"

Light's eyes narrowed. Ryuzaki was beginning to piss him off. The insults were getting to be a bit too much and he sure as hell didn't like that tone he was using. Light crossed his arms and let the man vent it all out.

"We're fixing this. No, I'm fixing this." Ryuzaki continued with full force. "You obviously have no idea how to. You're not going to ruin my life with a careless accident. I did not fight my way to the top just to be knocked down by some knocked up teenager with a damn God complex!"

That was it. Light let go of his anger as well, fighting back with full force. "Excuse me! I guess I got pregnant on purpose. That must be it. It was my plan all along to ruin my own life too. I thought, 'Hey! My life just isn't fucked up enough. Giving up college and my family to chain myself to a freak just didn't cut it. I should ruin everyone's life while I'm at it and just impregnate myself.

But gee L, if it's going to inconvenience you, I suppose I could just rip my stomach open for you so that you may dig around and find the fetus, then flush it down the toilet as if it were a piece of garbage! Because a fetus is a fetus. Not a living organism at all. Besides you're used to ripping things out aren't you? There's still a hole where my heart use to be.

Oh and who cares if it makes me a murderer in the end? I'm probably Kira anyways. So either way, I get to live with blood on my hands. Unless you happen to be sporting a mood for a lynching. In that case, hang me now! Bring a cake while your at it. You can munch on it while I strangle to death!"

The emotionally morbid sarcasm hit him like a blow, and Ryuzaki starred at the teen who was heavily panting, chest heaving trying to find oxygen. His face was blood red from anger and his body shook uncontrollably. Ryuzaki sad nothing as he watched a few tears dribble their way down the boy's cheeks and began to wonder, was that really sarcasm?

Ryuzaki took a lung shattering deep breath. "Is that how you feel Light?"

"It's not a feeling. It's the truth."

Ryuzaki realized that for the past month or so Light was dealing with this all alone. Scared, unsure and hurt. His confessing to being Kira was an attempt at suicide and it frightened him to the marrow of his bones. When he was believing Light to have some terminal illness and was frightened he'd lose the teen, he really was about to lose the teen. Ryuzaki sighed and tried to be empathetic, even though he wasn't quite sure how to be. "Evan if you are Kira.." He said. "I'm not going to let you be executed when you are pregnant with my child."

My child? The words felt weird on his tongue. Ryuzaki pushed the thought to the back of his mind and finished what he was trying to say, "I never once lied to you when I said I was your friend. I may not be in love with you Light, but I care for you. I am sorry for my outburst. I lost control and my words were hurtful. And it's not your fault that you are pregnant. Forgive me?"

Light's breath was taken away. The great, magnificent, stubborn L, was apologizing? He cared for him? Light uncrossed his arms. "Yes. I forgive you."

There was a silence then that began to fill the room. Looking at the raven haired man, Light saw the blood on his arm and nose.

Carefully, he approached the bed with caution and stepping in front of the man. "Want me to help you?"

"Huh?"

"You're arm and your nose. I think I did a lot of damage."

Ryuzaki pressed his fingers to his nose and felt the drying blood. Shocked, he moved his hand up further pressing down just above the nostrils. "It isn't broken." He observed. "However, it does hurt."

Light reached his arm out and pressed the ice pack down on Ryuzaki's nose, then glanced at the bleeding scratches. "I can bandage those too. If you want."

Ryuzaki offered his arm out to Light, and took control over the icepack that made his face feel so much better. He watched as the pregnant teen dropped down to his knees and opened the first aid kit, pulling out a bottle of peroxide and a gauze pad. He opened the bottle, and poured the peroxide onto the pad, then firmly pressed it to Ryuzaki's blood smeared arm.

The man was forced to grit his teeth as the stinging pain made it's way up his arm and through out his body.

Light smirked as Ryuzaki's pale fingers pulled back making a tight fist. "And here I thought you were immune to pain."

"I'm not a hollow man Light. Just hard."

Another awkward silenced followed the truth filled confession, neither knowing what more to say, as Light began wrapping Ryuzaki's arm with another long piece of gauze.

Ryuzaki noted how graceful Light's movements were, and how gentle he was being. He didn't have to treat him so gently. He knew if their roles were swapped, he'd probably want to stick his finger in the wound and twist it. However, Light was nurturing him, as if he were honestly concerned. Ryuzaki knew then that his deductions of Light being in love with him, were correct. And he felt that all too familiar feeling of guilt squeeze his heart.

No matter what, Light was still his friend. And he would protect him. It was the least he could do giving what he had done to the teen.

He laid the icepack down and grabbed Light's chin, forcing those beautiful eyes to look up at him. "Answer me honestly. Your very life depends on it. To protect you, I have to know the truth. Are...you…Kira?"

Light gulped looking into those midnight eyes. They felt as if they were burning holes into Light's soul and he found that he could barely breath, let alone speak. He could feel Ryuzaki's breath blowing across his lips.

"Light doesn't need to lie to me. As I said I will help you as best I can, but I can only do that if you are honest with me."

"I'm, I'm not Kira. I never was."

Ryuzaki broke his grip on Light's chin and slid from the bed to the floor, grabbing the teen and embracing him with his strong, warm arms. "Don't ever confess to a crime you have never committed."

Amber eyes slid closed, enjoying that warmth, and sucking in the familiar smell of melon bath wash, raw strawberries and fresh fabric softener that made up the personal scent of Ryuzaki.

Ryuzaki mindlessly did the same as he held the boy tighter in his arms, who was clinging to him desperately as he began to cry. "I thought you'd hate me."

"I can't hate you. I despise Kira, and some of your ideas. But I don't hate you."

Light let lose and just cried. There were still so many things to say between them, still so many problems he'd have to face, but for now he was content in Ryuzaki's arms as he cried, letting out his pain. For Ryuzaki, he was still coming to terms with the fact that he just saved Light from ending his life. It had been so close. If Light had confessed a day earlier, or just a simple hour, Light would have been arrested, bound and gagged in front of his father.

Softly, Ryuzaki whispered a prayer of thankyou to whatever God was in heaven, and bit his bottom lips as he began to cry at the thought of losing his very first friend.


Thank for reading! :)