A/N I don't mean for this chapter to be anti-feminist. I wouldn't really have a clue anyway. It was just in my head. Feel free to let me know if it's anti-feminist, and I'll probably shrug and say "oops". Side note: I wrote most of this while DJing at the bar last night. It would have been up much sooner, but I had people pestering me to like…do my job and stuff…it was annoying.

CHAPTER 9 "He Didn't Mean It?"

Felicity awoke to rumbling under her head. As she became a little more aware, she could faintly hear small grunts and groans, mixed with vague words coming from Oliver. 'OK so I guess that hearing problem is still in and out.'

She couldn't quite make out what he was saying but every so often he would twitch. She assumed he was having one of his normal nightmares, and that he would wake up and she would calm him down. As usual. It was almost a nightly occurrence. She know knew better than to wake him up. She had made that mistake their first night out of the hospital and he freaked out, having trouble regaining reality. Felicity figured out quickly that if she let him wake up on his own, then he had a much easier, less possible violent transition. He had never hurt her, but that first night he came damn close, and minorly injured himself in the process.

This particular night, he was getting worse though. Getting a little louder every minute or so. She began to understand some of the ramblings. "No." "Stop." "Innocent." And finally "Mom." That one was the loudest so far. She was getting nervous as he was getting more and more restless. More worried for him that his dream was that fresh, that real. Not really realizing she should be caring about herself in her half-asleep, exhaustion. Still, she feels like he'll be ok once he wakes himself up. He always does, and he always is.

Unfortunately for everyone, tonight was not a normal night. What Felicity failed to realize, was that her hearing WAS still slightly impaired. What she was hearing as slight groans and barely legible words, everyone else in the apartment could hear through the closed doors and down the hall. It was about 4 a.m., and Diggle, having taken the second watch shift over from Lance, heard the screams first. He was worried that something was wrong, or that someone else was in the room, and he came bursting through the bedroom door at almost a run. He saw Felicity's face go from slightly worried to absolutely terrified in less than a second, and instantly realized he did the wrong thing. She breathed out a barely audible "no." immediately letting Digg know that his suspicions were correct.

"NO! STOP!" Oliver screamed. He instantly pulled tightly on Felicity protectively, but the strong hold put her back in excruciating pain. He held her tightly, jumped up from the bed back towards the closest wall and clutched her against his chest. His eyes were wide with fear and wild. Felicity could do nothing but let out a loud bloodcurdling scream. Her back and shoulder were on fire. Oliver's grip was so tight it probably would have been painful on a good day, let alone right now.

"OLIVER! STOP! WAKE UP! FELICITY!" Diggle yelled as he jumped over the bed to try and break Oliver's hold on their girl.

"GET AWAY! STOP! NO! SHE'S INNOCENT!" Oliver screamed again erratically, still half in his dream. Felicity couldn't breath from the pain, and had stopped screaming in favor of gasping for air. But every breath felt like knives stabbing her in the chest and back.

Diggle jumped at Oliver, taking a right hook in the jaw in the process. Luckily, Oliver asleep is not as on point as Oliver awake. His punch wasn't strong enough to take down the large ex-marine. Diggle put Oliver in a hold against the wall, forcing him to let go of Felicity enough to where she fell to the ground sobbing and gasping.

"OLLIE!" Thea yelled form the door. "DIGGLE WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

"No!" Oliver said quieter due to the choke hold he was in. He was crying, something Diggle doesn't think he's ever seen.

"OLIVER! WAKE UP!" Diggle yelled again. "THEA STAY BACK! OLIVER!"

"Yeah" Oliver coughed out. "Yeah. I'm OK. I'm awake."

"Oliver, can I let you go?!" Diggle asked loudly in his face. He was trying to keep his anger about Felicity being hurt at bay.

"Yes… Digg…Felicity." Oliver choked out again as Diggle loosened the hold. Oliver went to lean down to help her, but Diggle pushed him back against the wall.

"I got her." He said sternly in Oliver's face again.

Felicity was curled in a ball on the floor on her side. Her face pale, and sweaty. Her breaths were shallow and quick. Diggle carefully and gently lifted her from the floor. She winced and let out a strangled gasp at the contact, but then relaxed into him once he settled her in his arms.

"What the hell just happened?" Thea exclaimed from the door, moving slightly out of the way for Diggle to run Felicity through to the living room.

"I…I don't…I think I had a nightmare and…" Oliver rubbed his hands over his head, feeling like the world had just crashed down on him. It was possibly the worst moment of his life, when he woke from a dream of watching his mother die, to realizing he had injured the love of is life. He couldn't process that mistake.

Thea ran from the room, and followed Diggle down the hall. She was now followed by Roy, Sara and Raisa, who had all heard the screams. Sara detoured into Oliver and Felicity's room to calm Oliver down, and get the story. She understood best after all.

Lance had woken up after everyone else as he had just gotten to sleep an hour or so after his watch shift. By the time he was sitting up on the couch rubbing his eyes, he saw Diggle running towards him with Felicity in his arms.

"MOVE, MOVE!" Diggle yelled at him hastily as he ran in.

Lance jumped up from the couch, and out of the way confused.

Diggle carefully lay Felicity down on the couch on her good side, and cupped her face in his hands to look at her eyes.

"Roy! Hydrocodone!" He ordered with no regard for politeness or Roy's feelings. Roy just turned and ran towards the kitchen table, where all the med supplies where still strewn about throwing things to the side, some landing haphazardly on the floor.

"Felicity. Shhhh, shhh. Hey look at me. Hey?" Diggle urged. Her eyes were closed tight and her brow furrowed in pain. Her breaths were a little less shallow but not even close to normal. She was shaking. Diggle was afraid she was going into shock or that she had injured something else. He really didn't want to have to take her to the hospital, she wasn't safe in the open. He was afraid if he couldn't get her to calm down her shock would get worse, and she might start to shut down or have a seizure.

"ROY!" Digg yelled again.

"I've got 'em." Roy yelled from across the room and tossed the pills over to Diggle.

"WATER!" Diggle yelled to no one in particular.

Thea already had it ready and shoved it in his hand.

He put his hand on Felicity's forehead and talked to her softly but firmly.

"Felicity. Open. Your. Eyes."

She finally complied, eyes watery and clouded over in pain and fear.

"Can you hear me?" he said fairly loudly.

Felicity nodded in a couple shaky jerks.

"OK great sweety. I'm going to give you these pills. Can you swallow them?" Diggle didn't mean to sound patronizing but right now he saw her almost like a little sister. She was responding to it and to him that's all that mattered.

She nodded again.

"OK, here you go." He put one pill in her mouth at the time and gave her a sip of water for each, waiting for her to swallow.

"OK you're doing great, now just rest ok. I know it hurts, it'll be better soon." He was as gentle as any of them had ever seen him. They were shocked that he had that in him, but Felicity brings out his soft side. He looked over at Thea who was sitting on the arm of the couch confused and worried.

"Watch her. Make sure the drugs take effect and try to get her to fall back asleep."

"Is she ok? What happened?"

Diggle tried to rein is anger back at the thought.

"Oliver had a dream." was all he said.

Thea looked horrified at what her brother had (she's sure accidentally) done to her friend. She's sure he didn't mean it, but he wasn't going to see it that way.

Diggle stood up, and stormed out towards the bedroom, Roy on his heels just in case. What he saw in the room deflated any residual anger he had at the broken man. Diggle just stood there for a few seconds and watched Oliver sitting on the bed as he sobbed into his hands. Sara sat on the bed next to him, her hand on his shoulder trying to talk him down out of his guilt.

Oliver just kept repeating "I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it, I hurt her, I'm so sorry…" and the like over and over. Sara trying to shush him, telling him they understand, and that Felicity wouldn't be mad at him. It's not his fault. He just kept shaking his head, horrified at what he'd done. Sara noticed Diggle before Oliver.

"How is she? She alright?" Sara asked.

"Not yet, but she's responding. She took the pain meds. I think she'll be alright soon. It was more the shock than anything. She didn't have time to prepare." Diggle started.

"Diggle I'm so sorry! I…I don't…" Oliver started.

"Oliver stop, it's not your fault. If anything it's mine. I came barreling in and woke you up in the middle of a dream. Felicity obviously knew what was coming as soon as I came in cause she looked fine and then scared. Has this happened before…?" Diggle almost didn't want to know the answer.

"The first time we slept in the same bed I had a nightmare. She woke me up. I almost hurt her but didn't. I hurt myself by mistake instead before I figured out what was going on. We found out if she doesn't wake me up then I'm fine. She just calms me down after I wake up…I'm so sorry I should have warned you or something. I guess neither of us really thought…Oh God." Oliver couldn't hold it together long enough to finish his thought.

Diggle was just relieved that he hadn't hurt her before and kept it a secret. It was really none of his business as long as she was never hurt. Sara kept rubbing Oliver's back soothingly as he fell into tears again.

"Why don't you come out and see her?" Diggle asked, against his protective instincts. He knew Oliver would never hurt her consciously.

Oliver just emphatically shook his head no.

"No I can't, I can't…I….she won't want to…" Oliver tried to get out. Diggle just came over and took his face in one large hand roughly.

"Listen. I get that you feel terrible. And I get that it was an accident and you feel guilty. But right now your girlfriend, who loves you more than anything, is out there in incredible pain. She needs you. Get it together and be there for her. She'd want you to get over this and just be there for her….. Damn it Oliver GO OUT THERE AND HOLD HER HAND!" Diggle yelled.

Meanwhile in the living room, Felicity had started to relax a little bit. Thea had almost started to relax as well until she heard Diggle yelling. Felicity must have been having a good hearing moment, because she perked her head up and opened her eyes when he started.

"S'that John?" Felicity asked in a tiny voice.

"Yeah sweety, it's fine. Don't worry about it." Thea tried to soothe her. She wasn't as good at this as Diggle was…somehow.

"No, he'sssyelling at 'liver. He didn't mean nit. He was 'sleep." Felicity laid her head back down from exhaustion, but did a commendable job at keeping her eyes open.

"It's all good, girl. Diggle knows Oliver didn't mean to. He's probably just yelling at him to stop blaming himself. You know how Oliver is. He probably feels terrible. Only John can knock some sense into his thick skull." Thea said with a smile. Felicity smiled faintly and her eyes fluttered again, but only for a couple seconds until she processed what Thea said fully. Her eyes popped back open.

"No, don't let him hurt him. He can't help it, he was scared for his mom. He was jus' tryn ta help 'er" Felicity slurred again.

"No, it's ok, he won't. I'm sorry I was just joking. Trying to get you to smile. God I'm terrible at this stuff. Where's John?" Thea asked to herself.

Lance came over seeing the frustrated look on Thea's face.

"Hey Felicity. Feeling any better?" Lance asked.

"mmmmm." Felicity hummed her affirmative answer to him and he smiled.

"May I?" He asked Thea, pointing to where she was sitting.

"Please, I apparently have NO bedside manner." Thea scoffed.

"Well I raised two daughters, so I've picked up a couple of things."

"Thank god." Thea responded.

Lance sat next to Felicity on the couch and lightly grabbed her hand. She squeezed back, and looked up at him trying to focus through the drugs and with no glasses on.

"Having a good night?" He asked Felicity.

"The besssst." She hummed back closing her eyes again momentarily.

"Yeah, me too. I think I almost got an hour of sleep." He retorted.

"Woooooow." She replied back sarcastically.

"I know, thrilling right?" Lance smiled at her.

She shook her head no slowly.

"Whoa, dizzy. No head moving." She slurred out.

"Yeah, aspirins will do that. Hey, why don't you try to get back to sleep. Oliver will be in in a second to sit with you while you close your eyes." He soothed.

She opened her eyes again and furrowed her brow slightly.

"I wanna wait til I know s'ok." She slurred out defiantly. "Don't try do trick me with yer brain. Mine's better." Felicity still had her wits. Her mouth was just moving slower than her brain at the moment.

Lance just smiled up at Thea who just tilted her head in agreement.

"Gangin' up on me I see. Thea why don't you go get Oliver, and I'll stay out here with her and Raisa." Lance suggested.

"My pleasure." Thea jumped up and almost ran to the other room.

As she walked in quickly, she ignored Oliver's tears and Diggle's loud voice. She walked right by, grabbed Oliver's hand and pulled on him like when she was a kid. All while rolling her eyes, and making an exasperated noise that was telling of her mood.

Not even looking back at him, she easily dragged him off the bed through the room and out the door.

"Come ON Ollie! Quit being stupid and come out here so your insane, stubborn girlfriend will just pass out from the drugs already. She refuses to sleep without seeing you first." She marched him right out to the living room not giving him enough time to protest. He looked like a deer caught in headlights when he finally saw Felicity on the couch holding Lance's hand. But he almost instantly snapped into gear, and flew past Thea, heading straight for Lance's seat. Lance got out of the way just in time for Oliver to slide onto the couch and grab Felicity's hand gently. He lost his words immediately. There was no way to apologize. She spoke first…as usual.

"Stop." She looked at him with high, scolding eyes.

"Stop it. M'Ok. S'Not your fault." She slurred again.

"Felicity…I…" Oliver started.

"No." She demanded.

"Not your fault." Felicity urged.

"If I pretend to feel less terrible and kiss you will you go to sleep." He requested.

"Yessss. I will."

"OK good. I'm ok if you're ok. Now go to sleep, I'll be right here." Oliver insisted as he bent down and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. As he came back up he left one hand on her head and rubbed a finger over her hair. He knew she loved that.

"Mmmmmm" she hummed as she closed her eyes and gave a faint smile before immediately passing out.

"Oh my god finally." They heard Thea say from the other side of the couch.

"Shhhh." Oliver scolded, then turned back to Felicity who was thankfully out cold. He wiped her cheek of a residual tear and touched his forehead to hers. He would never forgive himself for what happened. He could only try and do better in the future. But for now with her injured, he had already decided it would be best if they didn't sleep in the same bed. At least until she could get around easier.

"I'm gonna take her back to bed." Oliver suggested. "Everyone else should go back to sleep too. Tomorrow is going to be…difficult." They just looked at him knowingly, Digg and Roy both dropped their gaze to the floor.

"Thea, I know this is going to seem repetitious, and difficult. But I need you to stay here tomorrow. While I take care of things." He said vaguely.

"No! She MY mother too Ollie, I need to help! I need to…" She started to argue.

"You NEED to stay alive. I need you to stay alive. Slade already came after you once with the bomb. Yesterday, he threatened everyone we care about… you are on the top of that list. You're the most innocent one here, and the most devastating target for us."

"What do you mean us?" Diggle asked out of nowhere.

"What?" Oliver was caught off guard by the question.

"You said we and us. What do you mean?" Diggle rephrased.

Oliver turned away and looked at a sleeping Felicity again, knowing that whatever Slade has planned involves her. He wants to punish her as well, for some unknown sin that her unknown father committed. He meant to talk to her about what Slade had taunted first, but she isn't waking up any time soon.

"He threatened both of us tonight." Oliver stated.

"WHAT?!" Diggle was confused, and scared for his friend. "WHY!? What do you mean?"

"I think it has something to do with what he said at the house. He mentioned her father again…but this time…" Oliver had a hard time finding the right words and getting them out.

"This time WHAT Ollie?" Thea chimed in.

"…He didn't just threaten to make me suffer. He wants to make her suffer the loss too. For some reason, she is just as much a part of his vengeance as I am. We need to figure it out, and soon. But not tonight. Tonight she needs to rest, and we all need some more sleep. We have to be up in a few hours."

"After that? Yeah, I'm sure we'll be getting a great night's sleep." Thea sighed and started to pull Roy towards Lance's room again.

"Sara?" Oliver said, suddenly removing the woman from her deeps thoughts on the other side of the room.

"Hmmm? Yeah what's up?"

"Do you mind staying with her tonight…I….I don't…" Oliver stuttered.

"Ollie, I…" She didn't know how to express her feelings either. Diggle watched both of them try to speak to each other. It was interesting the dynamic between the two, it's almost as if they had exactly the same emotional hurdles and difficulties from what they'd been through on the island.

"Please…" He pleaded, not wanting Felicity to get hurt again by his hand.

"Ollie, I…" She looked at the ground and ran her hand through her hair uncomfortable at the sudden scrutiny. "I have the same problem. You don't want me in there."

Oliver instantly understood, lifting his eyebrows and nodding to her, as she uncomfortably walked hastily out of the room. Lance wanted to follow her, but decided to let her be for now.

Raisa stepped up from behind Lance.

"I'll stay with her Oliver." She gently placed a hand on his shoulder and nodded down at him. "She probably will be asleep until noon anyway. I'll watch her."

"You're a godsend Raisa." He responded, putting a hand over hers. "I'm sorry we got you into all this. You don't have to stay, I can get you out of town. You've probably stayed fairly under his radar."

"I'll stay until you don't need me anymore." She insisted.

"OK, well then, after the funeral…I'm getting you out of town. You and your family, just to be safe."

"Whatever you want Master Queen. I'll keep an eye on your girl until then. No worries here. Come on, let us get her to bed." Raisa said backing away, giving Oliver room to carefully pick up Felicity.

As he laid her down on the bed and pulled the covers over her, he couldn't help but wonder when he was going to feel like she was safe again. He feels like she been under attack for weeks, and he couldn't keep her from the danger lurking. Oliver vowed to figure this out sooner rather than later, and stop Slade. Maybe he could figure out that cure that Dr. Ivo had mentioned on the island. He knows the cure is long lost, but it's worth a shot to try and synthesize it. They HAD to figure out the connection between all this and Felicity's father. It may be their only chance to beat Slade at his own game.