Hawke

The two weeks flew by. My house was full of my friends and laughter again. It was nice. Even more so when they all went home and I was left alone with Fenris. He was attentive and sweet. He had started reading to me and little one in the evenings. At first it had simply been a way for us to continue his reading lessons, but soon it was the part of my day I most looked forward to.

I was trying to keep my feelings tightly reigned. He wasn't ever going to be more than a friend. I was fine with this. I had exactly what I needed. Good friends and a precious little one on the way. All this came to a crashing halt when Sebastian showed back up.

He came in while everyone was over. His jaw had clenched as he saw all of the others around. But he had quickly pasted on a smile and moved over to me.

"I didn't know you were going to be entertaining while I was gone." His words sounded like an accusation. "I had hoped you would be taking it easy."

"I have been taking it easy. Besides Anders says I'm fine so long as I don't over do. And Fenris never lets me get any where near over doing." I frowned at him.

"Still, it's late. I think it would be best if everyone went home." Sebastian said frowning at the others.

"There is no need for any of that. It is my home, Sebastian. You are more than welcome to join us if you wish, if not don't let us keep you." I said turning back to the others. They all looked at each other nervously. "I do believe it's Varric's turn to deal. Maybe he'll not cheat us like Isabela's been doing."

"Hawke, you need to rest. And we have things to discuss. Send everyone home, love." He said and kissed me quickly. I wanted to shove him, but suddenly I found myself agreeing.

"Perhaps we should call it a night." I said frowning as he smiled at me. I saw Fenris and Anders exchange a look. I wondered about that, but didn't ask. "I'll see you all tomorrow night." I said quickly before Sebastian could find some way to stop me.

"You sure?" Varric asked eyeing Sebastian.

"Of course. You are all going to continue to come and see me. No more leaving me alone for months on end. My life is changing with little one coming, but that doesn't mean I don't want and need all of you in it." I smiled even though I didn't feel like it.

I wanted to yell at Sebastian about being rude. I wanted to yell at him about thinking he got to call the shots in my own home. It was time for us to stop this stupid charade.

I caught Fenris' arm as he started out. "Thank you for staying with me. Will I see you in the morning?"

He glanced at Sebastian. He then inclined his head to me. "If you wish it, I will be here."

"Good. Little one and I look forward to continuing the reading lessons then." I smiled at him. I waited until the door was shut behind him before turning to Sebastian. "That was rude, Sebastian. This is my house. I will have over who ever I want."

He moved to me with a patronizing look that I wanted to slap off his face. I wasn't a child to be handled, damn him. "I just want to take care of you. I worry so much about you and our wee one."

"Sebastian, we need to talk." I said and moved to sit in the chair. I didn't want to have this talk. This sort of thing was the whole reason I tried to avoid romance. I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't want to lose his friendship, but we couldn't go on pretending everything was fine between us.

"You're right. We do. Starkhaven is needing me to be there more often. I'm going to discuss with Elthina and Erin about us moving there now rather than after the baby is born." He said moving to sit on the seat across from me.

"Sebastian, please let me talk." I waited for him to nod. "I appreciate all you've done for me. And for my child. I would not have made it through these months without your care and support. Your friendship means the world to me and I never want to hurt you. But we can't go on like this. It's time to end whatever this was."

"What?" He asked looking at me as if I had struck him.

"Sebastian, we don't love each other. Not like we should. You want me to be someone I'm not. And I can't keep pretending. We are too different in our beliefs. We both want different things. I'm sorry for hurting our friendship by allowing my feelings to go beyond that. I was wrong to allow myself to indulge in the fantasy of what could have been. We don't work, Sebastian. I'm sorry, but I think it would be best if you moved out. You need to focus on Starkhaven and your future. I need to focus on my child and what that means for my future."

"You…can't possibly mean this. This isn't how it's supposed to be." Sebastian said looking like he was dazed.

"Sebastian, please don't make this harder. I do care about you. A great deal, but what I thought was love, wasn't. We didn't know each other well enough. My having a child is not your problem to take care of. And it sure isn't a reason to continue in this relationship that doesn't work. You deserve to find someone who can be that woman you want. It's not me."

"This isn't happening. You're wrong, Hawke. You are that woman. You and our child are our future. Our destiny is to rule Starkhaven. Raise our child together. You just don't realize it yet. It's alright. I'll help you." He said and stood up.

"Sebastian, this is my child. Not our child. And I know that you want to believe that we have a future. I did too. But we are too different. We would only cause each other pain if we tried to continue. I have to think of my child now. I can't put her through us fighting and ending things once she's attached to you."

Sebastian looked at me and took a steadying breath. He shook his head and then stalked off. I wanted to crumble to the floor and cry. I didn't like the look of pain on his face. But this was for the best. Maybe someday he would realize it as well.