At the door to the room McCoy gripped his arm, "You just follow his lead, Captain. You do not ask questions, you do not stress him, you do not touch him, and you leave when I tell you. I have told Scotty you are going to be in there and I will admit he would have made one helllulva watchdog. But he is the one who heard him say your name and report."
"My name?"
"Your name, not your rank. But then 'Jim' is easier to say than 'Captain'. He is having difficulty speaking so it is virtually one syllable at a time which is a vast improvement. You upset him in any way and I will personally haul you out of there." McCoy shook his head as he let out a long breath, "Get in there before he drifts off again."
Going in the second time was not as bad as he had thought it would be. He saw Scotty holding one of Spock's hands and watching him with eyes that dared him to even breath wrong.
In the silence he heard that baritone he thought he would never hear again, faint but there, say, "Jim, re port." he went to move but the look from Scotty stopped him.
"He'll be here soon, laddie. I'll tell ye when he is here."
"Scot ty?"
"Right here, laddie. I'm right here. Ye just rest."
"My re port."
"Chekov's got him for ye."
"Here?"
He hesitated till Scotty nodded at him, "I, I am here, Spock."
"Where?"
There was pain and confusion in his voice and Kirk moved to where Scotty indicated he stand and he saw two dark eyes look at him. Just about everything inside him screamed for him to run from the pain he saw on Spock's face but he stood there, "I am right here, Spock."
"My re port, Sir."
Sir. Sir, not Jim. Kirk felt suddenly cold. That look as he left the bridge. Calling him Captain Kirk as he left with the same tone he used for everybody else. "It, it can wait, Spock."
"Must give re port."
"You need to rest, Spock. It can wait."
"Sir, by reg," Spock's entire body started to violently spasm and he said a strangled "No!" before so many things happened.
Kirk felt McCoy grip his arm and start to pull him away as Scotty reached in to gently but firmly hold Spock's head still and shoulders pressed down by crossing his arms across Spock's chest, "Easy, laddie. I'm right here. I'm right here. We kin get through this one. Grip me arms." Almost as soon as he had said it Spock very firmly gripped Scotty's upper arms and the tension eased in his body, "That's the lad. Tis nae as bad as the last. That's it, laddie. That's it. Easy. Easy now."
"I, I ask for,"
"Now we'll nae have that, laddie. I told ye that before. Now ye just rest. I'll nae leave ye."
When Kirk struggled briefly in McCoy's hold he felt other hands grab him and pull him out of the room.
In the hallway there was no denying the blazing anger about the two blue eyes that looked at him, "I told you not to stress him!" Chekov and another officer released their hold on his arms and knew they were right behind him ready to grab him if he moved.
"He'll think I left him, Bones."
"He'll think his Captain left him. Like I said and you saw, one syllable words and Jim is one syllable and Captain two. That blasted Vulcan training of dedication, wanting to give a report and to you, his commanding officer, at a time like this."
His commanding officer. Commanding officer. Vulcan training. Kirk closed his eyes not only not liking the look on McCoy's face also to try to stop seeing how Spock had just been and how he was when he had left the bridge. "That's what he." No, Kirk opened his eyes and looked at McCoy, "That's, that's how he sees me now, isn't it? The way he looked at me, I could have been a stranger not his,"
"Don't!", McCoy held up his index finger between them, "Don't you dare think of yourself as nor call yourself his friend. Friends do not do what you did to him. Friends would never treat their friends the way you did him. Friends would never say to their friends what you said to him the way you said it if they ever said it at all. He would not show it but you hurt him deeply this time. When any of us went to see him he only used your rank if he spoke of you."
That slight change he had felt when Spock had looked at him on the bridge came back to him. Spock had been shutting off any and all feelings he had towards him. Once again protecting himself form the pain emotions cause him. Captain Kirk. But he had called out to him. Millans had said he had called out his name and T'ly'la.
"Bones, he called out to me, he called out,"
"I know and I also know how staunch atheists, at the moment they think they about to die, call out of a god they have denied all their lives. Reaction only wit no real thought. To think, after what you did to him, it could be anything else, that it could mean anything, is delusional. You didn't even go to see him after he walked off the bridge, did you? We know Utonga went down to gloat."
"He what?" Kirk shook his head not wanting to believe it but somehow not too surprised after all he had learned about Utoga..
"Oh, your new best friend did not tell you he went down a few times to look at Spock as though a prized catch and yet also with some hostility? Apparently he was really furious when Spock stopped the explosion. From what I hear he used some most unusual adjectives to describe Spock when he was there and Spock just stood looking at him in total silence and totally still. He even said how you were not missing him and how much better you thought the bridge was without him there to constantly questions your reasoning. Odd how his enemy went to see him but not the one who, for so long, claimed to be his friend."
An anger at himself and at Utoga stirred in Kirk. He had not gone down to see Spock because Utoga had said it was best to leave him in the past, to forget such an officer who did not respect him. It had seemed so right the way Utoga had stated it. Damn, he had been such a fool.
"How, how long will he be like that?"
"That's like that old question, Jim, how long is a piece of sting? That one syllable at a time has taken him and Scotty over three weeks of almost constant work. Scotty's only left him to use the ablution block and then he has had Brent Kelly in with him. How he is now may be as far as he progresses or we could get the old hobgoblin back. One thing you have to know, Jim, is that when the Enterprise leaves he does not. You saw him. Maybe in a year he could be walking and talking but the ships leaves in eight days and Scotty is doing all he can to stay with Spock although he does not want to leave either the ship or Spock. They started with just Spock moving a finger, then slowly, syllable by syllable , word by word, to this stage. They have worked together and got Spock back to us this far"
This far. Kirk really looked at McCoy Have to transfer his medical care to either Vulcan to see if they can help him or the special facilities at Starfleet. came back to him. "Don't, Jim. Don't even think about getting him back onto the ship as you had him transferred. It has taken three weeks of almost constant work by Scotty to get him this far back. All the experts are amazed and cannot accept it as by all that they, and I, were trained to believe he cannot happen but that is from a cold analytic point of view. What has happened in there with them is pure dedication and compassion and, may Spock forgive me, emotion, not any fancy equipment and medication."
"But they must know,"
"What they know, Jim, is that you signed the papers to get him off the ship, they have him now and can study him while I find an appropriate place for him."
"The Enterprise,"
"I just told you is out of the question. Apart from you signing him off the ship there is the fact that we do not have enough trained medical staff to help him with rehabilitation. We cannot expect Scotty to do it all, even though he is worse than a mother-hen when anybody tries to get close to Spock. Hell, even getting some crew trained in even the basics of caring for him as he is and will most likely be for some time would take at least two weeks and we leave in what, eight days. I've heard they think if he makes it through this it will take a year for him to get to a entry level."
Kirk was vaguely aware that one of the officers who had been in with Scotty had been sitting further along the hall and had got up and left. He had seen the man y in the corner or the treatment room just watching even though McCoy had said that there were two officers with him. All he could think about was how he could get Spock back on the ship. Mallin had said he had not actioned the request and if he had time he could think of what to do. There had to be a way.
An official came in, "I'm sorry, Captain Kirk, but we must have the meeting regarding your two new officers."
Words of protest started to form but he looked at McCoy, "You go to that,Jim. I have a patient to check up on."
As he walked to the meeting room Kirk kept hearing, Your new Science Officer and new First Officer. Acquainted with your new crew. He had always known that on so many missions he had send Spock on without him that there was a possibility that he would not return but this, this was different. He had caused this to happen. It was not some natural disaster, so alien factor they had not encountered before, some war they were trying to prevent. He and he alone had caused it by not only not trusting his best friend but also driving him to this as he should have known that Spock would try to find the cause for the Enterprise feeling odd, that Spock would have obtained permission to help find out what he had been so sure was wrong with the ship. Both Yates and Lane were in the room waiting and stood as he entered. Two different egos and aims leading to delays in information and almost open hostility on the bridge.
"Well, Captain Kirk, as we discussed prior to this incident, when you originally submitted a request for a new First Officer and a new Science Officer we let you assess Yates and Lane to see if they would fit your in with your crew. We are aware that Mister Spock is no longer being considered for medical reasons but can you tell us that had the incident not occurred with Utoga he would he still be both your First Officer and your Science Officer."
"There is no other being I would have there, Sir, no other being I would trust with my crew, my ship, ormylife. I am more ashamed for my actions than you can ever know. They were unworthy of me as a Captain in Starfleet, they were unworthy of me as the Captain of the Enterprise, and far worst than those they were most unworthy of me as a friend. If there were any way at all possible for him, for Mister Spock to be back on the Enterprise in that role," a mental picture of how Spock was flashed before him and he paused, "but there seems to be no way as even with special rehabilitation there is no certainty as to how long it would take and the Enterprise has a mission in eight days."
"Although Mister Spock has made some slight improvements, from what we have been told is it highly unlikely that he will return to active service within a standard year. Had he shown more improvement, or the possibility for more improvement before you leave, and if you had a larger medical team we would have considered allowing him to assist as First Officer to assure us he would become fit enough to again be part of the dynamic team we know is on the Enterprise. We even, with the medical team who are caring for him here, did a projection of how long it would take, the trained staff it would take, to get him up to that level and it would be in excess of three thousand hours, roughly a standard year's work. It is with great regret that we must break up such a dynamic team. We will go over what the reasoning is for us to put forward these to officers and will discuss your opinions."
As they read out all Yates and Lane had done Kirk looked at the two men knowing he would have to have and not Spock. They had both shown they knew their positions and yet he was unsure as they seemed to know nothing about their duties and responsibilities in those positions. He knew he had been expecting higher standards than perhaps he should have been expecting from them but it was more than that, more, even, than them not being Spock. That almost petulant I should have had the Conn and the conversation that followed still bothered him as it showed him an immaturity and bigotry he would not abide with on his ship. And the way Lane went off on so many different tangents instead of just a simple yes or no. Then there were the eighteen times when he had turned to them as he used to with Spock expecting them to be able to give him an update without having to be asked. Eighteen, he slightly shook his head, it must have bothered him for him to remember how many times he did it. He had seen and heard how they treated the bridge crew and found himself comparing them with Spock and with what he expected.
"Your thoughts, Kirk." the voice pulled him back from the comparisons he was starting to make, "Kirk. Your thoughts. Do you see any difficulty having them as your new First Officer and new Science Officer?""
"I do not so much see difficulty as much as personality clashes due to a total lack understanding of exactly what the role is of every member of my crew and respecting the officer and the role irrespective of rank and an uncertainty of the ready availability of information in critical situations without considerable wasted time to a basic yes or no question, Sir."
Almost immediately both men sprang to their feet and almost in unison said, "That's a wrong assessment of my abilities."
"As a First Officer I should have been given the Conn. He had no right as he has not been in a senior role. It is important for there to be consistency in the ranks and that way the crew know who holds what position. I was the First Officer and should not have been placed under the orders of a lesser ranking officer. I was trained and have progressed as I have by knowing my place and keeping my eye on advancing, not staying where I am and not being lowered to serve under the command of a junior officer."
"And I have reached my rank by providing all possible answers to questions that I am uncertain about. By supplying all possible answers the officer asking can decide which option is the information they require."
"But you were put under the orders of a junior officer. If,"
The officer Kirk had seen walk out of the room Spock was in came rushing in, giving Kirk a quick nod, "I, I mean no disrespect to this meeting, gentlemen, but I am Lieutenant Brent Kelly from the Science Department of the starship Enterprise have here," he held up a computer chip, "the names of the three hundred and eighty-five members of the crew of the Enterprise who are willing to undergo training so that we can help Mister Spock fully recover aboard his ship. We realize that there will not be enough time to train every one of them in the remaining days but those who are trained here can then, on the ship, train others who will train others. We can do it in,"
"That is unacceptable. I am the First Officer."
Millans glanced at Yates then looked at Kelly and said, "Continue."
"Thank you, Sir. We can have enough people trained to help Mister Spock fully recover in twenty-four point five three standard weeks. We will be able to help Mister Spock without any disruption to the running of the ship. I have been authorized to,"
"But I will have the First Officer's quarter's."
This time Yates was ignored, "Please tell us how you calculated this time factor. We were told that it would be at least a standard year."
"We figured that you would say a year but that is doing just eight hours a day with him meaning a total of two thousand nine hundred and twenty hours. The crew of the Enterprise on that chip are willing, with the shifts we will do, to work with him for seventeen hours a day which is one hundred and nineteen hours a week, dividing that into the hours you have allowed is twenty-four point five three weeks." Kirk admired the man's ability to stand up in front of the panel and be so exact and do determined. "We were unable to contact all the crew as some were down here with Mister Spock and the others down here for other reasons but I am sure they will all want to help."
"You see, that it why I will be a great First Officer, why I will increase the efficiency of the Enterprise, I do not allow junior officers so much leeway. He is wasting time as,"
"I am also here," Kelly looked at Kirk then back at the panel, "to advise you that should Mister Spock not be returned to the Enterprise as First Officer you will find each and every one of those three hundred and eighty-five members of the crew of the Enterprise will resign."
Yates laughed, "You expect us to believe the whole crew would resign just for one officer."
Kelly again looked at Kirk and then at Yates as though he were something he had steeped in while crossing a pasture full of livestock. "I doubt if any would for you but Mister Spock is a part of the Enterprise, a major part of the Enterprise, I doubt if there is an officer on the ship he has not helped, even in some small way, in all the years he has been on the ship." Kelly shook his head, "You have been with a lot of us for twenty- eight days yet you never got to know any of us, you never talked with any of us. Sure, Mister Spock may not have been on first name terms with the crew but he knew us, he made us feel like part of the whole, part of the family. They take him off the ship and they will have to find a new crew. We, no doubt, will be asked why we resigned and we will tell all who ask that Command was not willing to allow a senior officer, who has served on the Enterprise for over a dozen years and who is temporarily unfit for duty, the twenty-four weeks it would take the get him back to being fit for duty on his ship. We will tell them that Command intends to replace him with something that has the knowledge but not the aptitude not the attitude that a First Officer must have."
Yates laughed, "I still say the whole crew would not resign over one officer."
For a moment the panel chatted among themselves then Millan looked at Yates "You may not believe that the crew of the Enterprise would resign in mass to keep Mister Spock aboard but we know they would, we know the extent that this crew will go to for one another. For the next twenty-five standard weeks you, Officer Yates, will be stationed aboard the Enterprise as an assisting First Officer and you, Officer Lane, will be stationed aboard the Enterprise as an assisting Science Officer. You will both be answering to not only Captain Kirk and to both the more practically experienced and the more senior officers on the bridge, but also Mister Spock should he be medically verified as fit for any form of duty. Failure to do so will reflect very badly on your careers. At the end of those twenty-five weeks, dependent on Mister Spock's status as attested by the medical staff at Command via comm units, your futures on the Enterprise and in Starfleet with be assessed. If that is not acceptable you may resign here and now."
Yates and Lane looked at each other totally stunned, then both said they agreed to the terms.
For just a moment Kirk sat still, not fully believing what just happened. He looked at Kelly and saw him nod back before turning to face the panel, "Thank you, Sirs, now if you will excuse me I have to let the others know and get the ship ready for the return of our First Officer. Captain, I will see you on the ship."
When Kelly had gone Millan and the other three on the panel talked for a few minutes then Millan looked at Kirk and smiled, "Captain Kirk, I can not speak for the others but I will say you have one helluva a crew. I had heard how it would close ranks to protect one another unlike any other ship in the fleet but till now I had thought that a rumor. I had also heard that there were those on the ship who did not like Mister Spock, that also seems to be in error. I think you should get back to the Medical Center and tell your crew there and start making arrangements for the transfer of Mister Spock back to the Enterprise, providing that, after your actions towards him, he still wishes to be under your command."
As the panel stood to leave Kirk managed to mutter a "Thank you, Sirs." as what had happened slowly registered with him. For a moment Millan paused and looked right at him. "Oh, when you have the chance you might like to talk to Officer Kelly about the protocol of such meetings as this. He did help clarify that those who had put in for transfer may have meant personnel reasons and not personal as we now fully understand the situation. We belief that situation has been rectified. While it is heartening to hear how loyal a crew is to their comrade and captain there is a time and place and manner in which to do so. Let him know that such actions will not be tolerated again."
Providing that, after your actions towards him, he still wishes to be under your command. Sir. Providing that, after your actions towards him, he still wishes to be under your command. Sir. Sir. Echoed in his head as he walked back to the Medical Facility. He felt chilled thinking that Spock had believed he had let him, that he had lost the one being who was the other half of him. If Spock woke up and he was not there he would believe he had left him. You didn't even go to see him after he walked off the bridge, did you? No, he had sent Spock away. He had sent him away and not gone to check on him. He had left him.
McCoy's hand radiate a different feeling to Mister Scott's, Spock realized as he lay holding McCoy's hand and slowly drifting into a healing trace. He had remembered it all from when the delegation had come aboard. From the start there had been something about the Security Officer, something he did not trust. He had seen Jim changing, had seen how he was spend more and more time with the Security Officer and how the Security Officer seemed to know too much about Jim's past. Several times he had asked Jim to join him in a chess game but was told he was busy with the Security Officer, showing him around. He had found out that Jim had shown the man places on the ship they very rarely showed anybody for security reasons. There had been a change about the ship, not just the feeling of the crew that he had felt but the ship itself. He could understand the change among the crew for Jim was most decidedly not himself but he could not understand the change in the feeling about the ship. Then when the Security Officer had wanted to see how fast the Enterprise would go he knew he could not allow it. For some reason he knew it would do something catastrophic to the ship. When he locked the access to warp drive he knew he had crossed a line, he had taken control from Jim, he then deliberately refused to obey Jim's order three times. He had seen the look on Jim's face when Utoga asked if he was a captain or not. It was not the James Kirk he knew. It had not been him but when he had said to stay the hell out of his life he had meant it.
While Jim had not been in contact with him the others regularly visited him and it had been Mister Scott who also believed something had upset his bairns. They had set up a small computer he secreted in his cell and used only when he was sure that only Chekov was on duty. A few times the first week the Security Officer had come done and just looked at him, he had looked satisfied and it only confirmed that there was something very wrong with the ship, that he had somehow done something to the ship. Utoga had come down several times and vented and laughed at how easy it was.
When they returned to Star Base Six he had been pleased that Mister Scott had agreed to be responsible for him till a hearing could be convened so that he could help inspect the Enterprise. They had three of Starfleet's top engineers working with them. One hundred and twenty-seven point two standard hours into their search they found the first explosive and it was clear it was linked to others, others that were linked to the weaponry of the Enterprise. From the look on the faces of the others he knew they knew, as he did, that it was so arranged as to use the explosives on the ship to turn it into a bomb. It was a cramped space with only just enough room for the five of them to just be able to move. Mister Scott had pointed to a timer, a countdown and he could see the Scotsman knew the same, they had some how tripped the last switch. There had only been one thing to do, He had physically pushed the others out despite Mister Scott saying he'd not leave him, He had got them out, secured the hatch, and, as all nine lines had to be pulled at one time, reached out and wrapped his gloved hand around them all and pulled.
He had woken in a regen tank. Breathing with the aid of a mask. A hand was holding his, not gripping it as his fingers had been injured, but a hand letting him know he was not alone. He had been fairly sure whose hand it was and had that confirmed when he heard the brogue, "I'm right here, laddie. Ye did it. We'd've nae got it done had ye not do what ye did. I'm right here, laddie and I'll nae leave ye." It had been oddly reassuring that it was Mister Scott who was there has he heard other voices, voices he recognized as doctors, who were doing what they could for him. Something had upset his internal chronometer that had only recently got back to the norm but he knew he had been in the take for some time and that Mister Scott was always there. Dimly he remembered the first time the pain had threatened to overpower him that he had thought of Jim, that he had mental reached to him to say farewell as this pain, physical ad mental, were threatening to break him. He had managed to grip Mister Scott's hand hard enough to maintain control enough against the pain to mentally call out "Jim" and gripped Mister Scott's hand tighter and managed to whisper to him, "Don't tell Jim.", as he felt himself sinking, he called out to his beloved friend, "T'hy'la." then, feeling Mister Scott still holding his hand, he yielded to the need for sleep.
A pain he had never felt before jolted him from his sleep. He had felt the hand still in his and had gripped it then as his body started to shake beyond his control with the pain, and gripped the upper arms of the man holding his down, reassuring him with a steady, "That's it, laddie, grip me as ye need when you need. I'm right here, That's it laddie." As the pain eased and he realized the liquid that had been around him had been drained and was being replaced with fresh liquid. He realized that he was still tightly gripping the upper arms of the Scotsman. He had started to ask for forgiveness and had head, "We'll nae have that, laddie. I offered. Ye need to rest now. I'll be right here. I'm nae going to leave ye." He had been grateful not only for the support but also because he was finding he could only manage one syllable at a time as that part of his mind was being slow in recovering but was improving. At first it had just been mainly because of Mister Scott's obvious understanding and familiarity with him, as well as his patience, that they had been able to communicate with just hand grips and expressions, then had come sounds then syllables.
Mister Scott had stayed with him, seeming to leave only for short periods of time. When he had asked for Jim there had been a strange look of almost anger on the man's face but he had said that he would be back. Although Jim might not want him in his life he still had to give him his report on what happened, of what he found, of who he suspected. Every time the liquid in the tank was changed or the pain got too much he would grip those strong upper arms and Mister Scott would again be supportive and not complain. The worst pain had been one hundred and twenty-eight standard hours ago when they had removed him from the regen tank and placed him on the bed he was on and removed the mask. It was too much too fast for his to process ad he had pulled Mister Scott to him, clung to him as he fought for control against the pain. He had heard voices telling Mister Scott to let him go and had heard Mister Scott telling them to "Leave things a-bee. He needs me and I'll nae leave him."
With the mask off and Mister Scott there he had let Mister Scott know that he had to make his report. It was important he give his report. When Mister Scott had understood him saying Jim's name and report he had understood and said that Jim would be back. He also would sneak him some actual food, although at first the doctors were annoyed when it did not upset his systems they allowed it. It started when one of the officers had brought Mister Scott come pie he had put a bit of it on the tip of his index finger and offered it to him. Tangy lemon. Clearly he had showed he liked it as Miser Scott had given him more and more, not minding that the was licking his finger. He was still not to have solid food but what Mister Scott gave him was not really solid, it was pie and he expected to soon be able to open his mouth wider and take more in but as Mister Scott had not minded he had simply licked the pie from his fingers in larger and larger portions.
Then had come that feeling. That certainty, Jim had come. Jim was there. He had asked Mister Scott in the shortened way they had developed as he was still having some difficulty with speech, if Jim were there for his report. Then Jim was there, he was going to give him his report when the pain had again over powered his control for the twenty-fifth time. As the pain eased he had sensed Jim had left. He needed to give Jim his report as Jim was still his senior officer as far as he knew. He had eased back as Scotty held him steady and allowed him to grip his upper arms in a vain attempt to control the pain. Jim had gone. Jim had left him. Jim had gone without him. He let sleep take him as he sought escape from the fact that Jim had left him.
A/N Seasonal conflict going on with autumn trying to take over from summer using my yard as part of their battlefield means a lot of work and a few post-BC medical capers means I may be be back shortly or be a week or so away. Anyway - take care, HAVE FUN, and enjoy.
