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Spoilers: 3.08 A Very Supernatural Christmas, General Season 1-6
In all honesty, Sam never quite understood how holidays managed to become such landmarks for loss, depression, and sorrow for him. His birthday was a source of never-ending reminders—Dean selling his soul, Dean being torn apart, jumping into the pit, Castiel betraying them.
Even Christmas had it's share in pain. When he was younger, it was comprised of confusion and disappointment that their dad was never there, that they were never a family. As he grew older and learned what Dad really did, it became another item on the list of things this job had stolen from his family.
But Christmas also marked an important lesson—if Dad died, if demons made plans, if angels turned against him, if Lucifer came for him, if the world ended, even if he rejected Dean—Dean would never leave.
Sure, there were moments when Dean was gone, gave up, was weighted down by the sheer magnitude of everything. But in the end, none of it mattered. Dean would always be there. Supporting. Joking. Protecting.
And it was this lesson he learned one Christmas in a run-down motel when he waited for his Dad and found Dean instead.
Merry Christmas!
