"This is champagne?" Axel sipped at the flute suspiciously. "Tastes like fancy piss."

"Probably is," Roxas said, shrugging. Alaska was hotter than he thought it should be. After Axel won the tickets on some morning radio show, answering a weird question about pop culture trivia involving spoof bands and Saturday Night Live, Roxas thought he was kidding when the other boy told him to bring flip flops and sunglasses.

"Dude, I feel like a total pimp." Axel dipped a jumbo prawn in cocktail sauce, taking care not to drip on his suit.

"Why are we dressed like this, again?" Roxas kept taking off his sunglasses to check his hair in the reflection. "And I'm pretty sure pimps like... fuck bitches and snort coke all day."

"Bitches are back in the suite. Coke is stashed behind the painting of little naked babies with wings on the third deck."

"Cherubs," Roxas said, lifting a sauce laden prawn into his mouth. "You hid coke behind the cherubs."

"Are you fucking serious? Those fat babies are cherubs?" Axel downed the rest of the champagne and straightened his bow tie. "Gross. I thought they were hotter. And we're dressed like this because it's 'formal night' and we have to take pictures with the captain."

"But the captain is weird. I think he thinks he's like... a rapper, or something. Did you see the necklaces he was wearing?"

"I think you mean his 'ice,' Rox."

"Don't say that," Roxas said, slouching farther down in his lounge chair.

"I gotsta get me some ice, yo. Get my hair did, buy a couple Glocks." Axel slid another prawn into his mouth. "I'm on a boat, muthafucka. Just call me 'Ax-sizzle.'"

"Were you born retarded, or did someone assault you as a child?"

"Fool, you better check yo'self."

"Please. Stop. You are paining me in my heart." Roxas accepted a bottle of Pellegrino graciously. "But, seriously, thanks for taking me, man. This beats the hell out of Kinko's with Xion for the summer."

"Don't mention it, Rox-sizzle."

Later, on the top deck for their "formal portrait" with the captain, Axel insisted on doing an approximation of the crip walk, the captain cheering him on with a hand bob. Roxas debated throwing himself overboard