A/N: 5000 views! 5000 views! Thank you guys so much, this is definitely a milestone. I'm really excited to continue writing this story into the New Year, and I'm excited to have you guys along for the ride. This is the first chapter of the year so it's a little longer than usual (sorry if some of you don't like that). Now, on with the show…

Asami paced around her bedroom almost frantically. The moonlight shone brightly through her window, as it was the middle of the night and Asami had been unable to fall asleep. She just walked in circles over and over again; sometimes she rubbed her hands together, sometimes she looked up from the ground just to take in the surroundings, but mostly she just walked. There was a war waging in both Asami's head, and her heart. Both sides of this conflict fought to decide her next course of action. Just a few hours ago, Korra was seriously injured during a pro bending match. When the two of them had returned to the island, Korra had asked Asami to coach her through her physical rehabilitation, a challenge that would make even the fiercest warriors quake in their boots. Korra was well known for her intense training sessions, mostly because they tended to leave a trail of destruction in their wakes. Asami, however, was not afraid for her safety. She knew that Korra would never hurt her, at least not physically, but there are other ways for a person to be hurt. That was the question for which this internal war had been waged: would coaching Korra be safe for her emotionally? Ever since Asami realized just how deep her feelings were for Korra she had been trying to figure whether or not she should act on them, and the events of the evening had forced her into a position where a decision must be made.

"Should I tell her?" Asami asked the empty room, silently hoping that someone or something would help her find the answer, "I mean, what if she says no? What if she rejects me? What if she thinks I'm some kind of freak?"

'Oh come on,' Asami's inner voice spoke to her; the voice was soft and soothing, like a mother speaking to her child, 'You know that wouldn't happen.' Rationally, Asami knew that Korra wasn't a judgmental person and would probably not be hostile towards her if her feelings were not returned. She knew this, but the fear was still there. It took hold of her and shook violently every time she asked herself if it would be safe to share her feelings with Korra.

"Even if she wouldn't hate me," Asami continued, "Things would be different between us. She'd feel uncomfortable around me, and she'd push me away."

The thought of Korra leaving Asami's life all together nearly brought tears to her emerald eyes. She couldn't bear the thought of losing the beautiful water tribe girl; her heart nearly broke every time she so much as considered that possibility. Asami wanted some kind of relationship with Korra, even if it never went beyond friendship.

"Besides," She mumbled as she wiped the small tears that had formed in her eyes, "Korra's in love with Mako."

'Really?' Her inner voice revealed its self again, 'Are you sure about that?' Though she hadn't gone into any specifics, Korra did say that she and Mako weren't speaking. Whatever had happened, it had been bad enough for Mako to leave the island. When Asami broke up with Mako, she assumed that he would go directly to Korra and confess his feelings for her. 'So what happened?' the voice asked, 'Could she have rejected him?'

"But that doesn't make any sense," Asami protested, "Korra's always been crazy for Mako. There's no reason she would have rejected him."

'Unless she isn't in love with him,' her inner voice offered, 'Think about it, something had to have made Mako angry enough to leave. A rejection from Korra would definitely do the trick.' This was definitely true. If there was one thing that Asami had learned from dating Mako was that he was hot headed, even for a fire bender. This was all becoming too much for Asami to process, so she walked to her bed and gently sat down.

"Okay," Asami said, "Even if she did reject him, that doesn't mean that she's attracted to me."

'Unless it does.'

"Damn it will you shut up!" Asami yelled at her own thoughts, "I'm trying to be realistic and you keep making me hopeful! Stop it!"

Asami dropped the rest of her body down onto her bed. She groaned and rubbed her eyes in agitation.

"Great," She whispered, "I'm yelling at myself. This whole mess is driving me crazy. Please, just stop." Despite her protests, the voice had one more question for her:

'Why are you afraid of hope?'

Asami scowled angrily and rose from the bed, "Don't go there."

'Why are you afraid of hope?'

The question echoed through Asami's skull and she began pacing again, "Stop it."

'Why are you afraid of hope?'

The voice just wouldn't stop repeating it's self in Asami's thoughts, "Shut up."

'Why are you afraid of hope?'

Asami felt plagued by the repeating question. Her pacing increased in speed and she aggressively ran her hands through her hair, as though she were trying to silence the voice by pulling it from her skull.

'Why are you afraid of hope?'

It just wouldn't end. Asami was literally shaking with fury and her voice trembled as she spoke, "I said… shut up." But this voice, though soft and loving in nature, refused to grant Asami the inner peace she now longed for. It continued asking the same question over and over, plaguing Asami with anger and doubt every time. Even when the tortured heiress fell to her knees and began sobbing the voice still pestered on. It wanted an answer. It needed an answer.

'Why are you afraid of hope?'

"Because all it's ever done is hurt me!" Asami shot up from the ground and screaming at the wall, tears streamed from her eyes, "When my dad first said that he thought being gay was wrong, I hoped that the feelings I had were just a phase. When I met Mako, I'd hoped that I had finally met a man I'd want to be with. When Korra accused my dad of being an Equalist, I desperately hoped that she was wrong! Every time I let myself hope, it always turns around and stabs me in the back!"

Asami fell back to the floor and just lay there, no longer possessing the strength to get up. She lay there and she cried; an endless flood of tears bursting from each eye. Her mind and heart were in chaos as she continued sobbing on the floor. She could barely move, though after some time, she did find the strength to speak. With her current state of mind, there was only one thing she could manage to say.

"I can't…" She mumbled through her sobs, "I can't… I can't hope again… I just… I just can't…" She lay there weeping. She cried for what felt like an eternity, until her silent tears slowly nudged her off to sleep.

….

(The Next Day)

"OW!" Korra yelled as the healer made one final adjustment to her arm. Despite what some people may believe, using water bending as a method of healing was not a painless endeavor. It can be very uncomfortable depending on the severity of the injury. In fact, as far as Korra was concerned at the moment, healing her sprained arm was more painful than spraining it in the first place.

"All right," The healer said as he wiped the water droplets from Korra's arm, "That should do it Ms. Korra."

"Bout freaking time." Korra grumbled as she tried flexing her arm. She heard a small chuckle from the corner of the room and turned to shoot Bolin a stare that promised him a slow and painful death. Bolin, who had been patiently waiting throughout the entire healing session, enjoyed seeing Korra like this. She was usually so in control, so watching her react to a situation in which she had no power was entertaining for the young earth bender. Korra got out of the chair, accidentally putting too much weight on her leg. She winced as pain coursed through her entire body and she began to collapse; she would have fell to the floor if the healer hadn't caught her half way down. Bolin rushed over to help get Korra back up.

"Okay see," The healer grunted as he helped lift Korra back up, "I was gonna warn you about that. Your arm and ribs may be fixed now but you are not exactly better yet." Korra shooed Bolin away as she got herself back upright. When the healer saw that she was stable he backed away and continued, "Your body is still going to be sore for a little while. You can move, but it's gonna hurt like living hell if you push yourself too hard so you," he turned his attention to Bolin, "You need to stay close to her just in case."

"No problem." Bolin said; he then turned to Korra with a smirk, "Excuse me miss, do you need help crossing the street?"

"Sleep with one eye open." Korra threatened with a scowl as Bolin laughed at his own joke. The two of them the healer's building, a modest one story complex, and after nearly collapsing for the third time, Korra reluctantly accepted Bolin's assistance. As she walked with one arm wrapped around Bolin's shoulder, Korra took a good long look at the not so pleasant neighborhood around them. This had not been her first choice of location, but the healer was a friend of Bolin's from back when he and Mako were on their own. Even in the day time the neighborhood seemed littered with trash, criminals, and more than a few bars. As she continued to limp down the side walk with Bolin, Korra thought she saw a familiar face out of the corner of her eye. When she turned her head, she found that she was correct in the person's identity, but she was confused by the manner in which he was behaving.

"Hey Bo,' Korra beckoned, "Isn't that Mako across the street?"

Bolin turned to look at his brother with a smile on his face, but that smile immediately faded when he took a good really good look at him. Mako's clothes were wrinkled and his hair was extremely messy; the scarf that he always wore so proudly was just barely hanging from his neck. He was severely off balance as he walked, tripping and stumbling with every step he took. He raised a half empty bottle to take a drink, and Bolin could see the dark circles under his brother's eyes.

"Oh god," Bolin whispered, "He's on a binge." He didn't realize that Korra could hear him.

"What!?" she practically yelled. Bolin swiftly put his hand to Korra's mouth, silencing her before she could continue.

"Shush!" Bolin demanded with no small amount of urgency, "He'll hear you." When Bolin was sure that Mako hadn't noticed them from across the street, he started pushing Korra away down the nearest alley, "Come on, we have to go now."

"Bo, wait," Korra protested, "What's wrong with Mako?"

"He's wasted." Bolin stated simply as he continued pushing Korra down the alley. He constantly turned his head back, making sure that the two of them weren't being followed.

"Wasted!? Mako drinks?"

"Sort of, he used to anyway. It's been a while."

"But he's only been gone for a day! How did he get so messed up in one day? Bolin, stop! Wait!"

Korra's protests fell upon deaf ears. He just looked on ahead with a furrowed brow; right now his only goal was to get Korra as far away from Mako as possible, whether she liked it or not. Korra tried to fight, but where her mind was willing, her body was in no condition to act. Despite constant protests and pleas from Korra, Bolin just kept pushing and shoving all the way to the docks. They finally reached their small motor boat, Bolin started the motor, and Korra sat in one of the seats, an intense scowl plastered on her face. As they began their way back to the temple, Korra spoke with a stern, angered tone.

"We shouldn't have left him like that." She said as Bolin steered the boat with the same determined look he had taken when they first saw Mako.

"We had to." He replied sternly.

"He looked really messed up Bo. We should have helped him."

"He doesn't want to be helped," Bolin stated, a single tear rolling from his eye, "Not when he's like that."

Korra couldn't believe any of this. For as long as she'd known them, Mako and Bolin had always been closer than any other two people she had ever met. Now, when Mako could be in real danger, Bolin seemed as though he couldn't care less about his older brother. More than that, Bolin seemed angry at Mako. 'I mean yeah,' Korra thought, 'I can understand him being angry at Mako for being drunk, which I still can't believe, but I believe it even less that Bo just left him there.' Korra was baffled by the whole situation. There were a lot of questions, and she needed answers. Korra rose from her seat on the still speeding boat, and took her water bending stance. She ignored the pain that coursed through her as she swayed her arms, pulling a current of water against them in the opposite direction.

"Korra, what the hell are you doing!?" Bolin yelled as he slowed down the boat for fear of capsizing. Once they had slowed down enough, Korra clenched her fists, freezing the water solid and bringing them to a violent stop. Bolin crashed against the steering wheel of the boat and Korra fell hard on the floor. Once the boat had settled, Korra slowly rose back into her seat. Bolin got steady on his feet, checked himself over for injuries, and then turned to Korra with a furious scowl.

"Are you out of your freaking mind!?" He yelled, "You could have killed us! Unfreeze the water so we can get moving!"

"No." Korra said sternly.

"Korra-"

"Not until you explain what the hell is happening right now!"

Bolin groaned and ran his hand over his head in aggravation, "Now is really not the best time-"

"Bolin, until you explain why Mako is drunk and, more importantly, why we left him like that, we're not moving an inch."

Bolin paced around the small boat for a moment or two, the sighed as he fell back into his seat. He rubbed his eyes, trying to avoid Korra's gaze. Korra meanwhile remained silent as Bolin sat there; she thought that pushing him would not get her answers any faster, so she waited. After a time, Bolin looked back up at her, his eyes red and puffy. Korra didn't know how she missed him crying this whole time.

"It's happened before." Bolin mumbled, "It used to happen a lot actually."

"When?" Korra asked calmly.

"Back when our parents died." Bolin said, another tear falling from his eye, which he immediately wiped away, "The first couple years on our own, Mako got low… real low. He used to come home drunk on a regular basis. It usually happened when he felt sad or angry. He just… he just couldn't handle it all back then."

"So what happened?" Korra asked, she could hardly believe what she was hearing, "Things obviously got better for you two. What happened that made him straighten up."

"You know what they say," Bolin began with sadness in his eyes, "You have to hit rock bottom before you can get better."

….

(Seven Years Earlier)

It was another cold winter's night for a lonely Bolin. The nine year old earth bender lay on the ground under a thin blanket as a blizzard raged on outside. No matter how hard he tried, Bolin just couldn't get to sleep. He was worried for his big brother Mako. Only eleven years old, Mako had gone out earlier that morning in search of some kind of work, but Bolin hadn't heard from him since, and he was starting to get worried. The small wooden shack they were living in was part of a small shanty town just outside Republic City. It wasn't perfect, but it was home; but it was also a fair distance from the city. As the blizzard raged and the shack got colder and colder, Bolin prayed that his big brother would make it home alright. When he heard snow crunching footsteps outside, Bolin sat up with a smile on his face, happy that his prayers had been answered. However, when Mako kicked the door open, Bolin's smile was lost indefinitely.

"Oh no," he whispered to himself, "Not again."

The cold air and snow flew into the shack as Mako stumbled inside. He had a half empty bottle of alcohol firmly grasped in his hand and his eyes looked enraged enough to burn a hole through anything in his path.

'God damn bastards!" Mako yelled, his speech severely slurred. He took another drink from his bottle and walked over to the table at the center of the shack. Bolin ran over to close the door to the shack, which his brother had neglectfully left open. Meanwhile, Mako was yelling angry gibberish as he flipped over the table.

"Mako, stop it!" Bolin pleaded as he forced the door closed. Mako paid no attention to his little brother and kept on ranting.

"Bastards think they can tell me I can't have a job? Just cause they think 'm too young!?" He took another drink from the bottle, "If I'm strong enough to work, then I should freaking work!" He slugged over to a wall and sat against it. He raised the bottle to take another drink, but found it empty.

"Damn it all to hell!" He cursed as he threw the bottle at the opposite wall, shattering it. His demeanor seemed to shift in an instant, changing from furiously enraged to unbearably depressed. He buried his face in his hands and began to cry, "I'm a failure… a god damn failure."

"Mako," Bolin said weakly as he walked over to comfort his brother, "You're not a failure. You'll get a job… we'll be okay."

"SHUT UP!" Mako yelled, enraged once again. He rose back up to his feet and began stumbling all around the tiny shack with tears streaming from his eyes, "Why can't you just accept it Bo!? I'm a god damn failure! I couldn't protect mom and dad, and now I can't even take care of you!" He looked down at the red scarf, his father's scarf, which was wrapped around his neck. For a moment, his scowl began to fade, but it just as quickly returned with increasing fury.

"I don't deserve this," Mako growled as he unwrapped the scarf from around his neck and threw it to the ground. He took a good look at everything around him, as little as it was, and yelled even louder, "I DON'T DESERVE ANY OF THIS!" He fiercely punched the wall in front of him, red hot fire erupting from his fist as he did.

"Mako, stop it!" Bolin begged, "If you're not careful you'll burn the shack down!"

Mako stared at his fist with a kind of fury and hatred that Bolin had never seen before, "Good…" He said as he turned to look at Bolin. All the young boy could do was look back in terror at the monster that looked like exactly like his brother.

"Fire's evil Bo," Mako said sternly, "It kills and consumes. Fire took mom and dad from us… maybe it's time for it to take everything else." Mako went right to work. His movement was still impaired by his drunken state, but that didn't make much difference. He shot fire ball after fire ball at the walls around him, eventually causing them all too catch fire. Bolin begged and pleaded for Mako to stop, doing everything he could to reason with his enraged brother, but nothing worked. Mako just kept going, like an angry dragon laying waste to the village below. While in the process of incinerating every flammable thing in the small shack, Mako felt a sharp pain at the back of his head. He immediately felt dizzy and light headed, slowly losing consciousness as he fell to the ground. Just before everything went dark, Mako saw Bolin, his baby brother, standing above him with a large rock in his hand. Once Mako was safely unconscious, Bolin dropped the rock he had hit him with and picked his father's red scarf up off the ground, then grabbed his brother by the arms. Bolin dragged Mako out of the now burning shack and into the snow just outside. There he sat next to his unconscious brother for the rest of the night. He just sat there and watched the shack, their home for over a year, burn to ashes. No more tears fell on Bolin's face that night, for he had no more to cry. He simply held his hands out into the bright light of the fire.

"Well," he said to himself, "At least it's warm."

.

(Now)

"We were homeless for three months after that," Bolin told Korra in conclusion to his story, "We eventually found a place to live in the city. We worked for the Triads for a long time, but then we stopped when we discovered Pro Bending." Bolin wiped another tear from his eye, "In all that time… he never touched the bottle; he promised me that he wouldn't. But now…"

It took every ounce of willpower Korra could muster not to burst into sobbing tears right then and there. She knew that the brothers had had a rough child hood, but she had no idea just how bad it really was. She just wanted to go over and give Bolin the biggest hug she could, but she decided against it; he didn't seem in the mood.

"Bolin," she finally spoke, "I'm so sorry."

Bolin shrugged, trying to keep his composure after digging up such painful memories, "its okay."

"No it isn't, and I'm really sorry that happened to you… but still," Korra continued, "We shouldn't have just left him there like that."

Bolin groaned, "Did you not listen to a word I just said Korra!? When Mako's like that he's-"

"Dangerous, yeah I got it!" She cut him off, "All the more reason we should have helped him! What if he hurts someone?"

"He won't."

"How do you know?"

Bolin looked her right in the eyes, "Because I'm pretty sure there's only one person in Republic City that he wants to hurt right now."

Korra's eyes grew wide when she realized what Bolin meant, "Me..." she whispered. In that moment, everything made sense; it was like Korra had just put the last piece of the puzzle together. Bolin said that Mako only used to do this kind of thing when he was upset or angry, and Korra could only think of one thing within the last twenty four hours that would have set him off like that.

"It's my fault," Korra said with a trembling voice, "I rejected him… I'm the reason that he started drinking… oh god!" Korra's head dropped to her hands as guilt, grief, and anger consumed her entire being. She hated herself for causing Mako this much pain, and Bolin saw that. He was filled with remorse as he saw Korra break down in front of him. He hadn't meant to blame her for anything, he was just angry, and now she was just as upset as he had been. He slowly knelt down in front of Korra and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"Korra, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to sound that way." He said softly, "I need you to listen to me: this is not your fault."

"Yes it is." She replied, her voice muffled by her hands.

"No it isn't. Sure, Mako's upset that you rejected him, but he didn't have to go and do this. He could have come talk to me, but instead he left. He chose to leave and go back to the booze. You didn't force him to do that, he made that decision all by himself"

Korra slowly raised her head from her hands, tears streaming down her cheeks and a look of absolute shame on her face.

"Bolin," she said in a barely audible whisper, "I am so sorry."

He smiled softly at her, "Don't be," he said as he wiped the tears from her cheeks, "Like I said this isn't your fault."

Korra took a deep breath and slowly sat up in her seat. Every time she exhaled she started shaking, as she was still getting over her sobbing fit. When it seemed like she was better, Bolin stood back up.

"Now," he began with his usual smile, "What do you say we get home?"

Korra was still crying. Despite what Bolin had said, she still felt awful for being the cause of Mako's current acts of self destruction. Even with all her shame and remorse, she nodded her head and gave a weak smile. With a simple sway of her hand, Korra returned the water to its liquid state, and Bolin set the boat in motion yet again. Korra looked back at the city, feeling worse the further the moved from it. She still hated that they were leaving Mako behind, but she trusted Bolin to do the right thing for his brother. All Korra could do was hope that Mako would be alright, and that things would be better once they got back to the island.

A/N: Wow, sorry guys, I didn't plan for there to be so many tears this chapter but once I started writing that's just where it went. Despite all of the deep feels, I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter of the New Year, and the longest chapter that I have ever written. This one took a lot of work but I'm proud of the results and I hope you guys are too. As usual, feel free to share any questions, comments, and/or concerns you guys may have so that I can make the next chapter even better. Also as usual, thank you guys. 2013 saw the beginning of Shifting Tides, and I'm really happy to continue it into the New Year. When I started writing this story two months ago, I didn't expect that so many people would see it so quickly, let alone that they would enjoy it and want to see more. I appreciate all of your support and I'm really humbled by the fact that so many of you like this story so much. You guys are the fuel that keeps the fire going, and I am so grateful for that. With one day down, and three hundred and sixty four to go it's looking to be a good year you guys, so stay tuned.