Hmm. My chapters seem to be getting longer and longer lately *inclines ear to hear praise and gratitude *

But I'm not having a lot of writer's block so it's been pretty good as of late.

WOW! I'm so impressed with the discussion on Onodera's character that has resulted from the last chapter. I read every one of your reviews and I love all of the intelligent insights all of you generated. Bravo readers! :D

More angst is coming, but there are going to be a few more happy spots interchanging as well.

Thank you all so much for the feedback and I hope you continue to enjoy ^_^

*bows *

The Black Flamingo 101

P.S. Cerberus seme: I pass the update baton to you ;D huggles!


Chapter Eight: A Voice Calling

The crackled pitch of the intercom system rang throughout the halls of the hospital, paging a doctor to the radiology lab on the second floor. Not long after, another followed, this time calling a surgeon to an operating room. These calls were frequent. So much in fact, that most people would selectively tune them out if the message did not apply.

But there was one person who was not hearing anything at all.

In a corner of an empty waiting room, Yuu sat, neither hearing nor speaking as he held his heavy head in his hands.

It was almost eleven at night, five hours since they had arrived at the hospital in the wailing mourn of an ambulance. Five hours that consisted of frantic nurses and EMTs, needles, stitches, medications, and an endless amount of questions repeated over and over. The emergency room had been a nightmare, as Hisashi had regained consciousness when he was being stitched up, and had fallen into a screaming state of panic.

Both Hisashi and the baby were stabilized right now, but after all Yuu had seen this night, it was of little comfort. His fragile boyfriend was in his room, his mind enveloped in an induced sleep, his hands restrained, and a nurse checking his room every fifteen minutes like clockwork. The reduced, pathetic condition of the one he loved was more than Yuu could bear. After Hisashi had fallen asleep, Yuu had wandered along the empty halls of the hospital. When he tired, he found a deserted room, sat down, and wept.

Through his tears, his mind spilled and vomited all his exhaustion, anguish, shock, and worrisome questions.

What would have happened if he'd been too late?

How would this affect the baby?

Could he have prevented this?

And most of all…why? Why had Hisashi done it?

Why did he want to leave him?

Why did he want to—…to kill himself?

That question sent a whole new stream of tears flooding the brunette's eyes, and he let a quiet sob escape his lips. He buried his face in his hands, his strong shoulders quivering as sorrow flooded through his body like a cold fog.

Another hour ticked by, and slowly the faucet of pouring salt water went dry. Yuu sat in the darkness of the waiting room, his elbows resting on his knees and his head bowed. The brunette was drained in every sense. The tension of weeping had worn his body out physically, and his mind had stilled from the rolling waves of emotion.

Yuu's lifeless eyes stared at the floor, looking but not comprehending in the least as more calls and pages sounded over the intercom. He sat there, and the only sound he heard were his own shallow, steady breaths…

"Yuu-kun?"

In the midst of his quiet fog of solitude, Yuu heard a soft murmur. His achy eyes slowly lifted to the entrance of the room, where a beam of light streamed in. An illuminated shadow cut through the light and walked in. Yuu's eyes squinted as he looked up, and when he recognized the shadowy face, his lips parted.

"…Renaka-san?"

The tall, ebony-haired woman nodded, giving Yuu a calm smile.

Hajime Renaka was a best selling fantasy mangaka who wrote under the name Rurouri Renaka. She had lived next door to the Araki family for over a decade, and had taught Hisashi everything he knew about art and manga. Ever since Hisashi was young, and especially after her own son Atsushi had passed away, Renaka and the blonde had been especially close, practically like a mother and son.

Even still, Yuu was surprised to see her here, considering she lived all the way out in Hokkaido. Renaka looked fondly down at the brunette, giving him a half-hearted smile.

"It's good to see you Yuu, even under these circumstances."

"What are you doing here?" He asked, quietly but politely.

Renaka breathed a heavy sigh, easing into the chair next to Yuu.

"Hisashi called me this morning. And from what he told me I knew it would not be wise to stay in Hokkaido and twiddle my thumbs. After my plane landed, I went to his apartment and a neighbor told me that he'd been taken here."

"But…" Yuu murmured. "What did he tell you? Hisashi, I mean…"

Renaka leaned back in her chair, her dark eyes drifting towards the ceiling.

"Just all the little details you two never let me in on when I call. About Hisashi's pregnancy affecting his health, and you overworking yourself, and him feeling guilty about taxing you because he can't help. He was quite worked up when he called, and I got the feeling he's been holding his thoughts in for some time."

Yuu gave her a weary nod.

"I see…" He said, trying to suppress the guilty wave of nausea that seeped into his stomach. "Have you seen him yet?"

Renaka nodded.

"Yes. He's still sleeping. I told a nurse I was his mother and had her fill me in on his condition."

Yuu grunted back, folding his hands and bowing his head slightly. The two sat in the still silence for a few minutes. The room was dark, but Renaka made no move to turn on a lamp, which Yuu was grateful for. Any sort of brightness would only highlight the tired, anguished lines on his face, as well as the blow to his pride.

He had failed. He had failed his lover, he had failed their baby, and he had failed himself.

And the thought of his boyfriend lying in that hospital room because of his failure sent another painful twist to his insides. Yuu's head dipped lower, but he was surprised when a warm hand placed itself on his shoulder.

"Yuu, I hope you realize that none of this is your fault."

The brunette's dulled eyes widened, and he lifted his gaze. He looked Renaka in the eyes, but his gaze was soberly skeptical.

Renaka picked up on his doubt.

"Believe me Yuu," She said soothingly, running her hand across his shoulder blades.

Yuu sighed heavily.

"I'm sorry Renaka-san…but I can't."

Renaka echoed his sigh, turning herself towards him.

"I know how you must feel right now Yuu, but what I say is true. And… this isn't the first time this has happened."

Yuu's eyes went wide and he lifted his head.

"What? When?"

Renaka continued soberly.

"It was after Atsushi's death, before he moved to Tokyo."

Yuu's hands weaved roughly through his hair and he felt even sicker.

"Oh my god…why didn't he ever tell me?"

"Probably because he feels awful about it." Renaka smiled sadly. "After we took him to the hospital and got his stomach pumped, he came to his senses and felt serious remorse for his actions. The doctor, his parents, and I all suspected that what he did was the result of Hisashi's posttraumatic stress disorder, and that he didn't really comprehend what he was doing."

Yuu stared at her in shock. When he didn't answer right away, Renaka continued to enlighten.

"He later described to me what it felt like. He said that he had all these different emotions building up and hammering inside his head, and he had no way of releasing them. The more he tried to calm down, the more he panicked, until his reason was completely gone. At that point, all he wanted to do was make the feelings stop, and it escalated to him trying to kill himself."

"So it's…" Yuu murmured slowly. "It's all because of…"

"His PTSD." Renaka nodded. "According to his father, he's had it his whole life, and it's just something that never entirely goes away. It tends to surface especially when he's under high amounts of stress, such as when Atsushi died. Plus I imagine the pregnancy hormones don't help."

Renaka took her arm away from Yuu and folded her hands behind her head, giving a light yawn.

"I know Sashi-chan was on medication for it when he was younger, and I intend to talk to him about maybe getting on it again."

The brunette slumped back as well, his mind weighted down with a new sort of overload. Hisashi's past was certainly a lot to take in, but in a way Yuu's mind had been able to shift into a more collected state.

"Excuse me."

Yuu and Renaka looked up as a woman in scrubs knocked on the door.

"Are you with Araki-san?" The nurse asked.

"Yes, we are." Renaka replied. "Is anything wrong?"

"Oh no," The nurse replied reassuringly. "But Araki-san is awake and he wanted me to come find a Yanase-san."

Yuu entire face immediately perked up.

"…Okay. I'll be there in a minute."

The nurse nodded and bowed, going back out the door and down the hallway. Yuu rose from his chair, stretching his arms.

"Are you ready to go back in?" Renaka asked, also rising.

Yuu nodded.

"Yes."

Renaka gave him a small smile and began to walk to the door.

"Well then, I imagine you'll be staying here tonight correct?"

Yuu replied affirmatively.

"In that case," Renaka said. "I'm going to go get my luggage out of the hallway and go check into a hotel room. But tell Sashi-chan that I'm here and I'll be back first thing in the morning alright?"

"Alright." Yuu agreed.

Renaka left in short order, after gathering her large amount of luggage and getting a key to Hisashi's apartment from Yuu so she could pick up a few things for them. After she had gone, Yuu walked back down the empty hall to Hisashi's room. The door was slightly ajar when he got there, and he took a second before entering, taking a deep, cleaning breath before padding into the dimly lit room.

He softly knocked on the door as he entered so as not to startled the blonde.

"Hisashi?" Yuu almost whispered, being mindful that he could have gone back to sleep.

"…Come in." A slightly choked voice replied.

Yuu's eyes found their mark at the other side of the room, where the blonde lay propped up on a hospital bed. Yuu walked over and sat down on the edge, taking in Hisashi's appearance.

The blonde lifted his head as Yuu looked at him, and the brunette saw tired melancholy in the dull blue eyes. Hisashi stared soberly and blankly back, and he weakly tugged at the restraints that bound his wrists to the bed.

Yuu gave him a small smile, and reached up to brush away a lock of the flaxen hair. Hisashi's lips pulled at the gesture. It looked as though he was trying to smile, but the wrinkles in his brow and his blank eyes only dampened the expression with cold blue sorrow. Yuu moved his hand downward and rested it against the blonde's clammy cheek, and Hisashi leaned his head further into the touch.

"How do you feel?" Yuu asked softly.

Hisashi's mouth parted, and he spoke in a quiet murmur.

"…Okay…"

Yuu's head turned towards the door as he heard a steady train of knocks.

"Pardon the intrusion." The nurse said, making a note on her clipboard as she peered inside. "Just doing checks."

Yuu nodded.

"Is there anything I can get for you?" She again tenderly, glancing at Hisashi.

The blonde's eyes drifted over to Yuu and he gave another uncomfortable tug at his restraints.

Yuu understood.

"Um, is it possible that he could have these taken off?" The brunette asked hopefully.

The nurse walked further into the room, silently taking in the appearance of the blonde. She pondered for a moment, then spoke.

"If you are in the room with him I suppose it would be fine."

"Thank you." Yuu replied, dipping his head gratefully. The nurse came forward and began to unfasten the straps, but right before she let them loose, she placed a hand on Hisashi's uninjured left arm. The blonde glanced at her in mild curiosity.

"But," She murmured gently, patting the pale hand. "You have to promise all of us that you won't try to hurt yourself. Can you do that?"

Hisashi swallowed, then lowered his chin in a nod.

The nurse smiled.

"Good."

The nurse undid the restraints on Hisashi's wrists, and then went to leave, giving the two young men a parting smile.

"My name is Narumi Ayame and I'm your night nurse. If you need anything just push the call button."

Yuu nodded to her and breathed a sigh as she shut the door. He turned his face back to Hisashi, who was hugging his stitched up wrist to his chest.

Yuu reached out a hand and squeezed his shoulder, leaving his hand to linger on the thin blonde. Hisashi's lips twitched again, but not as if he were trying to smile.

"Sashi? You sure you're okay?" Yuu murmured, trying to look into his boyfriend's face as the blonde bowed his head. Hisashi tried to nod in response, but when his lips began to quiver, he focused his intention on pressing them together to make them still.

Yuu leaned forward in concern as he saw tears pool in the stone blue eyes and he wrapped an arm around Hisashi, pressing his lips to the blonde's temple.

"Sashi…talk to me…please." Yuu pleaded. Hisashi's body quivered and hugged the brunette back, his breaths becoming raged.

"…Yuu…" He choked out in a whisper. "…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…"

A sob escaped the blonde's mouth and he buried himself deeper in Yuu's arms, repeating the same words over and over again.

"It's okay Sashi," Yuu murmured back. "Everything is okay."

"How can it be?" Hisashi cried softly. "I…I almost—…our baby Yuu…"

"I know, but the baby is okay and we will be too. It's not your fault."

Hisashi let out another sob at Yuu's words and clung to him tighter.

It was the blonde's turn to cry tonight, just as the brunette had. And like Yuu's tears, Hisashi's also eventually dried. After he had wept himself into a tired, peaceful state, the two boys lay together on the hospital bed, where Yuu held him. They talked in short sentences, few and far between, choosing to primarily keep the silence as they communicated through soft touch.

"I regretted it immediately afterwards," Hisashi murmured as he rested his cheek against the brunette's. "But there was so much blood so fast that I just kind of panicked. And by the time you got there, I was in a state of shock. I couldn't control my thoughts. They raced around like crazy and I almost felt like I was watching you through someone else's eyes."

Yuu grunted softly, giving Hisashi a squeeze.

"I can see that." He whispered back.

Yuu's hand crept further, sliding down the blonde's shoulder and resting on the enlarging baby bump. He massaged the stomach gently, earning a content grunt from the carrier.

"How's he doing?" Yuu murmured.

Hisashi gave a weary smile.

"I bet he's seen better days."

Yuu chuckled quietly.

"Something tells me he hasn't seen much of anything. But when does, I'm sure he'll like what he sees."

The brunette turned his head and pressed his lips chastely to Hisashi's. And in the quiet, dim light of the sleeping hospital, the exhausted couple eventually fell asleep.


Warm, cinnamon eyes opened slowly as a shaft of light fell over them. Yuu glanced around, his brow furrowing as he didn't recognize the surroundings. His memory pattered back after a couple of seconds and he immediately looked to check on Hisashi. The blonde was still sleeping, his arms curled into his chest and breathing steady. Yuu breathed a sigh of relief and pulled back the sheet, sliding off the bed and stretching his arms. He grimaced as he looked at himself, unshowered and wearing day old clothes. Not to mention the fact that he and his boyfriend has shared the hospital bed. (Which was no doubt seen by the nurses who checked in four times an hour…) Yuu remembered starting off on the couch next to the window but eventually they both ended up together again. But a shrug followed his scowl, and he looked over at the far wall clock to see what time it was.

By his gaze flew towards the door as it loudly swung open.

"Good morning boys!" Renaka chirped as she sauntered like a Chinese empress bearing gifts. The mangaka set down two full bags, and a laden orderly followed in behind her with four more. Hisashi's eyes blinked open with all the noise and his brow furrowed in confusion.

"…Renaka-san?" He muttered drearily.

She nodded, coming over to his bedside and giving him a kiss on the forehead.

"I hope you're feeling better Sashi-chan."

"…Uh yeah…" He stammered in confusion. "…what—what are you doing here?"

Yuu suddenly remembered that the forgot to mention to his boyfriend that his surrogate mother was in Tokyo, but wanting to escape flack, he said nothing.

"It's a little bit obvious Sashi-chan," Renaka sighed, putting a hand on her hip. "Since you and your partner have been entirely irresponsible in not letting me in on any of your problems, I have decide to stay in Tokyo for the time being and take care of them myself."

"But…" The blonde stuttered. "Uh…"

"I called your parents last night and filled them in. They would be here already but they're in Iceland at the moment, and your father is tied up with work so they won't be here for some time. But we are all in agreement that I'm going to stay with you two for the immediate future."

"What?" Hisashi exclaimed. "B—But what about your work?"

"I'm good for the next two months. I have quite a few finished short stories tucked away that I feed my editor in times of emergency. Feel free to hold your applause."

Hisashi gapped wider at the mangaka's words, and Yuu suddenly remembered that he was scheduled to be at Marukawa in an hour. He knew he couldn't leave Sashi, but Ijuuin would kill him if he didn't show…

As if sensing his predicament, Renaka turned to the brunette.

"And Yuu, don't worry about work right now. I'll handle Kyo."

"But Renaka-san," Yuu replied. "It's not just Ijuuin. Marukawa has new policies in place and if I miss too much work I could be fired. We're straining as it is with Hisashi out of commission."

Renaka regarded him calmly.

"Like I said Yuu, don't worry. If Marukawa fires you I can change that with a phone call. My late husband was a close relative of the Isaka family and I have quite a bit of influence with them. And if they insist on firing either of you, I will have a lawsuit up within a week and put them through hell."

Renaka tossed back her long, black braid and pivoted sharply on her heel, heading for the door.

"Now I'm going to go hunt our your nurse Sashi-chan. Just because we're in a psyche ward doesn't mean they shouldn't be checking up on his prenatals. You stay right there Yuu-kun and I'll go grab you a drink after I'm done. Sit tight boys!"

With a single command, the manga empress left the room, leaving two very quiet, very stunned men.

And at the moment, they couldn't really decide if Renaka coming to their rescue was the best thing that ever happened to them, or the worse mistake they could make.


Nostalgia next! This time a taste of Takano ;D