CHAPTER EIGHT
Honesty
Cloud sat wordlessly on the couch and watched Lightning as she continued to pack her things. She hadn't said a word since he proposed that they get together as a couple, and he was getting nervous. "Hey, if you're not interested in dating me, it's really no big deal," he pointed out.
"That's not it," she replied flatly, not looking at him.
"Then, what is it?" he persisted. "I'd like to know why… You know, for future reference, maybe?"
After closing and locking her suitcase, she turned around to face him. "I can't say."
He stood up and took a few steps forward. "Yes, you can," he insisted with a firm scowl. "I don't like the idea of having secrets kept from me. What's your reason for not wanting to date me?" Even he had to admit that his reaction was a bit off the bean. Why was he letting this woman get to him so badly?
Lightning's face flushed as he stepped forward, stopping directly in front of her; he was a bit too close for comfort now. And the look on his face was so intimidating… This was the first time any man had ever frightened her this much.
She began to wonder if maybe Tifa had been right. Maybe Cloud was the type of guy one needed to keep an eye on… Or watch out for, in her case.
In one swift movement, she pulled her Gunblade from its holster and flipped it open. She had no idea what his intentions were, but she wouldn't attack him unless he acted first. Until then, she planned on a self-defense moves only.
But not even her quick wit was enough to outsmart him.
He grabbed her wrist-the hand that was gripping the Gunblade. "Don't even think about it," he said. "I know all those moves, too, you know."
She tried to yank her arm away, but he wouldn't let go. "Hands off!"
Before he could say another word, she threw herself forward against his chest, obviously hoping to knock him to the floor so that she could get away. But he was too strong for her to overpower.
He staggered a bit, but regained his balance. "Lightning, calm down!"
But Lightning was too lost in her painful memories to hear him clearly. The last guy she had an argument with was Snow. In those last few moments before he left, why couldn't she have told him how much she loved him? Why couldn't she go back in time and change what she'd said?"
"Lightning, stop it!"
"No!" she cried. "You idiot! Haven't you realized by now that I loved you first!"
Hold it… did those words just come flying out of her mouth by mistake?
Suddenly, her eyes and mouth were wide open, and she drew in a breath. She was so taken aback with herself that she even dropped her Gunblade on the floor.
Cloud stood there, still holding her wrists. What she just said made his heart pound. "What?"
At last, he harsh exterior finally began to crumble. Her face scrunched up as tears filled her lovely blue eyes.
He let go of her wrists, and her hands quickly flew up to cover her face as she sobbed. By now, Cloud's face was masked with concern. "I'm so sorry, Lightning. Are you okay?"
"Yes." Lightning stared at him, in awe at herself. "And, I'm sorry, too. I was thinking of someone else when I said that."
"Who?" he asked. He put an arm around her and led her back over to the couch.
She wiped her eyes and composed herself again. "Oh, this is just sick." She hung her head low and rubbed her forehead. "I've never broken down like that in my life-ever."
"It's okay," Cloud said. "You wanna tell me who this 'someone else' is?"
"It's a long story."
"We've got time," he reassured her.
oOo
"… Needless to say, I didn't handle it well when Serah told me they were engaged. So after a huge fight, I decided to take a little vacation. I drove all night until I ended up in Kalm. I was so depressed, I decided to go shopping online. That's when I found your website."
"Lucky me." And he wasn't kidding. For the first time, Lightning was actually opening up to him, almost as much as he had to her. "You must've felt really betrayed."
"I did!" she exclaimed. "I mean, I've taken care of that girl for most of her life. I've made so many sacrifices for her. And when I finally meet someone I think could be just for me, I have to give him up too in order to make her happy… And now, I have an even bigger problem." She reached into her pocket and took out her cell phone. "They won't stop calling me!"
"Well, you did kinda run away on them," he pointed out. "I'd do the same thing, if I were them."
"I know that. But I'm not ready to talk to them yet… I'm not even ready to go back home."
"I know the feeling." He gently brushed a rogue trace of hair away from her face, but didn't pull his hand away afterwards. Instead, he cupped her cheek and stared directly into her blue eyes. "I really am sorry about earlier," he told her. "It's jus that, I've had so many secrets kept from me in the past… It was like a self-defense mechanism. I didn't mean to hurt you."
She breathed a heavy sigh as she took his hand and moved it to her lap, lacing her fingers with his, not giving the gesture much thought. "You hate secrets… Me, too." Then she swallowed hard. "Tifa told me to keep you safe from any women who might preoccupy you from your job."
Cloud looked shocked. "What!"
"Don't blame her," Lightning said. "You even said yourself that women flirt with you everywhere you go."
He smiled. "Tifa," he chuckled. "There she goes again, trying to protect me when I should be the one protecting her."
"Cloud, you have done more for her than you know," Lightning pointed out. "Think about where she'd be with Marlene and Denzel if she didn't have you. You've protected her financially, emotionally… And, I'm guessing, during the Meteor incident as well?"
"But why am I not in love with her?" he asked, mainly to himself.
"You don't have to be. It's not a requirement. The most important thing is that you remain honest with yourself and your feelings." She smiled. "Speaking of which, this kind of honesty is a good way for us to start our relationship, don't you think?"
He met her gaze and smiled wider. "You mean, we're really gonna go through with it?"
"Yes," she replied. "But, I don't want us to go too far with this yet, okay? My rules for the hotel rooms still stand."
He was more than understanding. "Mind if I add one more rule to the list?"
"Sure."
"We can't, can't, CAN'T tell Tifa about us."
Hmm… "Us." Lightning liked the sound of that a little too much. "Agreed."
