There seemed to be a great many abandoned cars on the main highway so they decided to take a side road instead. There were signs for a few of the small towns that they would encounter if they continued on this stretch of road. Castiel pointed at one of the signs as they passed. Dean could barely make out what it said, but apparently Cas was able to see it just fine. "The town known as Weingarten was once the site of a battle between the Host and Hell's legions." He said it as if it were no big thing. He continued, "Many angels were lost there. They fought valiantly."

"You don't say." Dean did not know what else could be said. "Do you think that the place might be important in our present situation?"

"Maybe. We should not go out of our way to avoid it." Silence descended upon them again. Dean felt like this was happening more and more, like it was the universe's way of telling him to fill the silence with necessary conversation. He was not ready for that though, so he let the silence be their companion.

The drive was long. Dean felt the fatigue of the day tickling at his nerves. Hours into the drive that feeling was gone as the town of Weingarten appeared out of the darkness. It was all light. There was a main road that stretched through the town. There were trees all along the road. There were people here. They stood along the sidewalks as though they were lined up to watch a parade in absolute silence. It was eerie. "What is this?" Dean whispered despite the fact that their words would not carry outside of the vehicle.

"I don't know." Dean had stopped the car in the middle of the road, and Cas got out. The world was not silent here. The trees were filled with song birds of every variety. They were all singing out in birdsong. There was a melody to it though that was not like your typical birdsong. It was harmonious as if they were all singing from the same hymnal.

"Cas?" Dean said as he walked up to his side. Cas raised his arms out at his sides and seemed to tip his head back in satisfaction. "Cas?" Dean repeated, this time putting his hand to Cas' back.

"I'm fine, Dean." He smiled as he closed his eyes.

"What are they saying?" Dean looked up and down the street, taking in the people and the light, calculating the dangers that might be lurking.

"They are my brethren. They are the ones that fell in battle. They are welcoming me." Cas turned to Dean now. "I need to get closer to one." He walked to the sidewalk. Dean followed. A blue jay was strapped to a low branch. "Hello." Cas directed his greeting to the bird.

"Hello," it repeated back. Then it began a song loud and long, a melodious trill of notes. Cas listened to it with rapt attention.

"So, what was that?" Dean said when there seemed to be a break in the song.

"It was a song of freedom. I'm going to try something." He reached out to the bird and it hopped onto his arm, the little strap that held it to the tree slapping Cas' hand as the bird moved. Cas closed his hand around the strap and held it. A bright glow of grace slipped a little from his closed fingers. The strap turned to ash and blew away. The bird nuzzled down into his hand a quiet chirp escaped it. It looked to him and they seemed to share a quiet communication before the bird flew up into the darkness, a trail of light in its wake.

A woman that had been standing near the tree approached them. "If you free them, who will protect us?" Her chestnut dark hair framed a worried middle aged face.

Cas looked at her and then back to the tree. "Not all of them have asked for release. Nearly all of them have asked to stay with you, to protect you from the darkness." Her face looked relieved as she stepped back from them. She resumed her still observations like the rest. Cas turned to Dean then. "Why don't you return to the car and rest for a bit. I'll communicate with the ones that are willing, and then we'll continue on our journey." Dean would have fought him, but he was exhausted and this was likely the safest place that they would come to for rest. He made his way back to the car and immediately threw himself across the seat ready for sleep.

He did not know how long he had been unconscious when a slight buzzing snapped him back. It was a cell phone on the floorboard of the car. Why it was working was a miracle that he chose not to think about too much. He reached down and picked it up. It was Cas' phone and the name on it showed that Claire was calling. He didn't think twice about it; he just answered. "Hey there Claire."

"You're not Castiel." Her voice sounded like it was filled with all of the disdain he had come to associate with her.

"Not the last time I checked. He's communing with nature. You want something?" He sat up and looked out the windshield down the road. Cas was up near a tree on the far end of town.

"Is he okay?" She sounded concerned.

"Yes, he's fine. We found a town that is filled with light and birds. We're investigating it. We were going to come to you all, but now we are going to Muncie, Indiana."

"Why?"

"A little birdy told us to."

"Funny, Dean. Sam and I just came from a tree where we did our own communing with nature. The birds are not just birds. They are connected to the light." She was quiet, almost like she was imparting secrets.

"Looks like we are having the same experiences. What did your bird tell you?" Dean leaned his head on the side window and watched Cas while he listened.

"It asked for freedom, but that wasn't all that it did. It showed us things that it thought would bring us happiness. It showed Sam a woman named Jess."

"Oh, is he okay?" Dean felt like whatever happiness that vision would bring would be short lived. Dean wished that he could be there for him now.

"He's okay, maybe even happy." She paused for a moment. "Is Cas available?"

"No, he really is out talking to the birds, freeing some of them too. Why do you need him?"

"The bird showed me my family, but there was more than that." She stopped and Dean let the silence linger as she formed her thoughts into words. When she continued it was in a tone more serious than before. "The bird said that it had to choose what to show me, that my family was only one option. The other option, as it turned out was Cas."

"Oh." Dean understood.

"Yeah, I was a little surprised at first, then I realized why he would make the cut. I spent a long time telling myself that I hated him while praying to him every night. It wasn't until much later that I learned that he was with me that whole time. My mom left and so did everyone else that mattered, but Cas was there. He sent out a small pulse of himself to me each time that I prayed and sometimes even when I didn't. He sometimes just knew when I was sad, and in those moments his warmth would find me. I did not know then that it was him, but it was comfort none the less."

Dean hummed out a little sound of acknowledgement. It was familiar. He too had felt in some of his lowest moments that surge of warmth that he now associated with Cas, and if he let his mind wander down the road of memories that he had, he might see that sometimes the warmth was associated with other moments too, moments that were hopeful and filled with longing.

Claire continued, "Seeing him in the dream world that the bird created for me reminded me that I need to tell him some things."

"Like what?" Dean wondered aloud.

"Like that he matters, that he is loved. Too often we let the people that we love slip away from us, and we never tell them that they matter. He matters, and I need him to know it."

"I am sure that he knows Claire." Dean was smiling.

"Have you ever told him that you love him?" Her question was out of left field. Dean choked on the moment and then started coughing a bit.

"Uh, no. I'm a dude. We don't do that."

"Well, maybe you should. You never know how much time you have left, how much time he has left. Plus, even though he knows, it matters, the saying of it out loud. Ya know?"

Dean felt uneasy alone in the car, like maybe Cas could hear them with his super angel ears. He was still seemingly focused on a bird though in the distance, so Dean did not let the worry take hold. "What makes you think that he knows?" Dean remembered the words that Cas had spoken while the Mark was still burning away at him. He remembered him telling him that all of the people that he loved would long be dead except for him. The love that Claire spoke of though was not that sort of love. Or was it?

"Call it a feeling, Dean. Sometimes when he is with you, I can feel his happiness from miles away. It's almost like he can't help but send out a little pulse of joy to the world, and I usually catch it." Dean thought about that and about the way that sometimes he would catch those feelings too. "So, I guess that I'll just talk to him later, when you all get here."

"It might be awhile. We're still looking at another day or two maybe, if we don't run into too much. Knowing our luck we will."

"So, tell him that I called. Don't tell him what I said though. I want to tell him myself."

"Fair enough." Dean waited a moment and added, "See you in a few."

"Take care of him." She ended the call and Dean just stared off at Cas. Telling Cas what he felt was hardly a topic that should be raised during all of this drama. The world was darkness and very likely ending. He did not need to muddy things for the angel.

Cas returned to the car after releasing several more birds. He slipped into the passenger seat in a quiet humph. Dean drove out without questioning him. Cas did not offer up any information either. Dean apparently did not get enough sleep before, because he was yawning not long into the journey.

Cas let him drive in his sleep deprived state for a couple of hours before he offered to drive. It was likely that he knew that Dean would have to be pretty desperate to relinquish control of Baby. They stopped the car, but did not want to get out to change seats, because then they would be at the mercy of the darkness. So,they switched seats in an odd twist of limbs that involved Cas sliding over Dean's lap to the driver's side. There was an awkward moment mid-move where Dean thought about making a joke about a lap dance, but he held it in. Instead he just grinned away at the friction that was created in the moment. It ended too quickly, and Dean was left with only the need to put on his seatbelt and stare ahead.

They were still seven hours from Muncie, and Dean wondered what they would find there. Cas rolled away from the stop slowly. So far they had not encountered much on the smaller road. A few abandoned cars littered the road here and there, but avoiding the main highways had kept things mostly clear. There were fires in the distance, sending out orange-red glows to them across what surely was miles. The darkness was thinner here, perhaps due to the town of light that they had just come from. At least something was getting through the darkness. Dean had thought. Deciding that he was hungry, Dean reached into the little bag that Cas had packed for him and pulled out a bag of pork rinds. "Really, Cas?" He held them up near Cas' field of vision.

"People like them." Cas shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess." He opened them up and ate a few. At least they were protein, maybe. Dean had had too much time to think on the drive to Sioux Falls, that now was the drive to Muncie. He began to wonder about things. He decided to dive into what could become a string of questions or maybe a conversation if he wasn't careful. "So, Cas. Can I ask you something?"

"You just did." Castiel smirked a little. He seemed to glow a little since their stop at Weingarten. "What do you want to know?"

"You and Sam were trying to rid me of the Mark, and it involved some pretty impressive spellwork, like so impressive that only Rowena could do it." Dean hesitated.

"Yes," Castiel encouraged.

"What did the spell involve? I mean, it must have been some bad stuff that you all had to do to make this happen." Dean rubbed at his arm, a phantom pain where the Mark had been throbbed there. Dean had been worrying about sacrifices made and people that kept on dying for him. He hoped as he asked the question that no one had died, yet somehow he knew that he would not be so lucky.

Castiel let out a long unnecessary breath of air. "Mistakes were made, but I hardly regret the outcome." He did not look at Dean as he spoke.

"I'd say there is plenty to regret. Apparently, our actions have unleashed all of this on the world. If we don't fix this billions of people die. Who knows how many already have because of me." Dean tossed the food bag back on the floor again.

Castiel looked over at him, bringing the car to a stop. "I have come to the conclusion of late that there is not much that I would not do to preserve your life. If that makes me seem horrible to you, well, I'm sorry, but that is just the way that it is, has always been, will always be."

Dean let the words sink into him for a moment. He was moving back and forth between anger and something else, as yet unnamed. Sam had made a great many sacrifices for him, and so too had Bobby, Charlie, Kevin, and so many others. This, though, this, was something almost insane. How could Cas think that this was okay? "People should not have to keep dying because you and Sammy think that I need to live. I don't need to live, Cas."

"You couldn't carry the Mark anymore, Dean. You would have killed too many. It was a risk worth taking." Cas turned back to the steering wheel as if he was going to continue driving again. Dean put a hand on him then.

"I wouldn't have killed billions. The world could be ending here, Cas."

"It won't. You forget that we saw what Cain had become when he yielded to the Mark. He planned to murder his whole line. He would have killed so many people. You would have done the same. I saw it in you as you fought me. I saw it before that, the rage that brewed just beneath the surface of you. I felt it with each passing touch that you imparted to me, and I did my best to never let you see the pain of it as it coursed through me." Dean felt his breath stabbing at his chest, the thought of Cas feeling what he had felt nearly overwhelming him. The thought of Cas bloodied by his hands filled him with so much hatred for himself. He let his hand slip from Cas' arm.

"I can never ever make you know just how sorry I am. I am forever dooming the people that I care about. They suffer; they die. I wish that you had never pulled me up from Hell." Dean stared off out the window, the darkness a mirror of his heart.

Cas reached out to him now and rested his hand on Dean's arm. "You have not caused my suffering. If not for you, I would not know what it is to truly live." Dean looked at him trying to discern what he was feeling but not saying.

"Did anyone die during the spell." Dean redirected a little.

"One man." Castiel paused as though considering the past. "I think now that his death was a ruse."

"Why? Who was he?" Dean ladled another heaping pile of guilt onto himself for this death.

"The spell called for, something made by God, but forbidden to man, something made by man, but forbidden by God, and something loved by the caster of the spell. I have thought over the spell quite a bit since that day, and I am certain that Rowena had mislead us in what the ingredients actually were. I think that it all came down to just one ingredient."

Dean interrupted with a snort, "Go figure, Rowena was less than forthcoming."

"Yes, I know, it is all so obvious now. She is skilled in the art of deception."

"Well, what was the ingredient then?" Dean asked noticing that Cas still held his arm.

He looked at Dean now. His eyes seemed to glow a little more blue. Cas said, "Me. My grace was the only ingredient that really mattered."

"How does your grace fit the descriptions that you just gave?"

"My grace was brought forth by God and was not given to mere men. I was given form by my vessel, a man, but God forbade us from choosing humans as intimate companions. Lastly, I think that Rowena mislead us in how the last ingredient was described. She said that the spell required the blood of someone that was loved by the caster of the spell. I have thought much about that part. I have been endlessly unhappy with how I so readily accepted her interpretation of the words. I was wrong then. It was all about the interpretation. It was about love, but not the love that the caster of the spell had. It was about the love of the recipient of the spell, you. I think that the spell required the grace of an angel that loved the one that bore the Mark. I am not sure if the spell required that the feelings be reciprocal. There are not many angels that have succumbed to such feelings. Nephilim have been born in the past, but it has been years since such a thing has occurred, because humans and angels do not make such connections."

Dean's breath was coming to him with greater strain. He interrupted again, not asking the question that he really wanted to ask, but instead focusing on something else entirely. "What's a nephilim?"

"A child born from a union between a human and an angel." Castiel let his hand drop from Dean's arm, but Dean caught it up in his own hand. "I regret nothing, except that the young man did not need to die, and I should have been more watchful where Charlie was concerned. I would have torn the grace out myself, had she just told me that it was the primary ingredient, the only ingredient. I am half the angel I was, barely useful. Eventually, the rest of my grace will burn out, I think, and you'll be left with a shell of my former self to deal with. I won't be a burden to you, but for now, I will help you fix this. When this is over, I'll leave."

"No, you won't. I won't have it. You'll stay with me. You'll stay with me, damn it. I am so tired of all the times that we keep doing this, this stupid game of leaving. Stay. Stay. Stay." He leaned in and pulled Cas to him. Dean's arms wrapped around Cas and held him firmly, as if he could keep him here by shear force. He spoke into Cas' hair, desperation lacing his every word, "Tell me you'll stay no matter what."

Cas leaned back and just looked at him, then he said, "For now, I will."

"No, for good. No matter what, you stay. I need to hear it, Cas. I need you." Dean hated that he sounded desperate, or that he couldn't just control the situation. The idea of Cas crawling off to some distant corner of the world to die in secret like a sick cat pissed him off. If anyone was going to die, it would be him, and if Cas was going to die, it was going to be by Dean's side. Cas did not answer him in words though. He kissed him. It was a soft press of lips. Dean had often imagined this moment. He had thought that it would be a passionate fit of movement between them, a powerful storm of lips and teeth and tongues, but this was them too, just two broken creatures trying their damndest not to move too fast for fear of breaking anything else. It was unexpected. It was the two of them surrounded by darkness and the end of the world. It was Cas quietly giving Dean what was left of him. It was Dean quietly telling him that he was not going to take any less than forever.

When they parted, they did not release each other entirely. Cas had his hand on Dean's cheek. It was the only warmth in the car. They stared at each other like this as much as was possible in the darkness that was only broken by the light that reflected back to them from the headlights outside. The darkness seemed to repel everything. Everything except for Cas' hand was cold. Dean's lips parted a little. He wanted to speak, to tell Cas what mattered. A small puff of warm air flowed from him in a cloud of condensation. Cas' thumb stroked his cheek. Dean felt the surge of Cas' grace that pulsed out to him, through him. It filled the emptiness, the cracks that held his loneliness. He welcomed the intrusion.

They studied each other like this in the darkness and the cold. They studied each other in a world that once again was falling apart around them in what could very well be the last days of their existence. Dean thought of the things that needed to be said. He had told him that he needed him, and it was not even enough to convey what he meant. He felt the grace inside him reacting to that thought, to the feelings that accompanied it. If he lost Cas he thought that he might be done for. He might lose whatever drive he had to keep going. The grace pulsed in response. Cas' hand gripped his cheek harder. "No." Cas' one word low and strong in the silence.

Cas released his face, and the grace left him too. Dean felt the emptiness and discontent fill those spaces in its absence. He watched Cas slump forward a bit, a move that conveyed defeat. "I meant every bit of it Cas. I can't lose anyone else, especially you." Cas still did not turn to him.

His words were quiet and so low that Dean had to lean forward to take them in fully. "I can't be the cause of any more of your suffering." He looked at Dean then and reached out a hand to him again. This time though, it was not to cup Dean's cheek. At first it seemed as though Cas was going to brush aside his hair, his fingers extended, a tenderness in his eyes. He did do that, but he also moved slowly to Dean's forehead where he pressed his fingers. For a bare instant, Dean's face registered shock. No. He had thought before the world around him became a dreamless dark.


They drove back to the house in a comfortable silence. Sam smiling away at the darkness in front of him was not as eerie as it should have been. Claire had seen his vision and knew why he looked pleased. True moments of happiness could often carry one through even the worst darkness. She did not smile. Her vision lay heavy in her heart. She guessed that maybe reality was just a little too real to be muddied with past joys.

She wondered what would happen with the bird now that it was free of its restraints. It gave her no information beyond the desire to be free. Sam slowed in anticipation of the turn that he knew was coming. Claire leaned forward into the seat, seeing something that was off about the distance. "Sam, look." She pointed in what was the general direction of the house. There was light, a bright phosphorescent glow piercing through the dark.

"Jody." Sam breathed out the name like a prayer. He sped up and took the turn down the road that would lead to the house. The road hadn't felt so long before, but now each pothole and corresponding scrape of gravel was maddening in that it made them have to slow their approach.

"Hurry, Sam." She was breathing in heavy gulps of air, worrying over the scene that she thought might greet them. It wasn't a fire glow, that much was certain from the color. Claire's hands clutched at the handle of the door with one hand and the upholstery beneath her with the other. She would jump out the moment that Sam got within range of the house. Surely running would be faster. She imagined Jody, her body limp from a battle she could not handle. She imagined Alex bloodied beyond healing, no more sardonic commentary spilling from her lips. It was too much. Her heart ached with the thought of too many people dying in her life, and now these two would be added to the pyre.

Sam slammed the car to a halt next to a silver sports car that had not been there before. Claire threw herself out the door and was two steps to the house when everyone poured out to greet them, alive, so alive. The sight of them was the final straw. She felt her legs buckle beneath her and she fell to the ground in a heap. Alex reached her first, followed by a boy with dark hair in a haphazard mess around his face. "What the Hell, Claire." Alex reached around her waist and hefted her up with seeming ease. The boy moved to the other side to help, but got a look from Alex that almost backed him off. Her words finished the job, "Step off, Romeo. I got this." Claire pushed away.

"I'm okay, Alex." She looked up at the top of the house, light was spilling down all around them. "The light." Her head lolled to the side a bit. A bird flew down to the porch before them. "Oh, you." Claire stepped to it. "You followed us."

The bird tipped its head from side to side almost like a no. It sent out a trill of song and then flew back up to the roof. "That the same one?" Sam stood at her side, hand on her back.

"Yeah. He didn't follow us. He lead the way. He said that others are coming. He said that Castiel is sending them." She looked to Sam now.

"I guess that it was good that we released him then." And as if they both realized together that they were not alone, they turned to the others in unison. Sam stepped away from her and with a grin on his face approached a woman that seemed to be about Jody's age, deep, dark hair and a world weary glint in her eyes. She smiled though when Sam said her name as he went to her, "Linda. How in the world are you?" He hugged her, and she seemed to reciprocate in the most minuscule way possible. A slight pat to his back was quickly given to signify the end of the endearment.

"Been better. This darkness is wrecking my garden. Finally decided to give up and find you boys so that I would have a place to direct my irritation." She smiled, and Claire found it a little unsettling. It was a smile that said, take me seriously, no I'm just joking, no I'm really not. Sam seemed to roll with it though.

He looked past her to the boy. "So, who's this?" Sam pointed.

"What you don't recognize me, Sam? Wow, that hurts." His grin was like the woman's, but, Claire thought, it had more mirth within it. Sam did not move for a moment. He seemed perplexed.

"I don't know you." He finally spoke. He turned to Linda with an upraised brow.

"Knock it off, Kevin." She swatted at his shoulder.

"What!" It was more exclamation than a question. Claire could not recall hearing Sam's voice like that before. It was a high pitched type of shock.

"I know. I'm a little worse for wear, but hey, better than being noncorporeal." He had his hands pressed into his pant's pockets now. He was rocking back and forth on his heels.

Sam suddenly looked a little angry. "So, now you are possessing some unsuspecting sap just so you can have a body?"

Linda stepped between them. "For your information, Sam Winchester, this unsuspecting sap as you call him, is a willing participant in this. I'll thank you to calm the fuck down when you talk to them."

"The veil has been fixed. He can get to heaven." His tone was less angry now. Claire stepped to his side and rested a hand on his back, sensing that he maybe needed the type of support that he had offered to her before.

The boy, Kevin, spoke now. "You've seen heaven, Sam. You really recommend that I go there?"

Sam just stared at him for nearly a full minute. Everyone let the silence last, as if they were all invested in some sort of deep telepathic communication. "You got a point there, I guess."

Donna was up on the porch steps and Claire caught her eye. She gave her a little wink and announced, "Well, we can all keep hanging out here, or we can go inside and have some of the chowder that Jody made." Somehow that seemed to jumpstart movement, and everyone shuffled up the porch and into the house.

Jody moved to the pot on the stove and started ladling out big glops of creamy white chowder into mug shaped bowls. When she had finished handing a bowl to Alex, Kevin, and then finally Claire, she said, "So, why don't you kids take the bowls upstairs, and let the adults have a little chat." Claire was a hundred percent ready to fight her to stay, when she caught the look on Alex's face. They all left in silence, a low hum of voices picking up from the kitchen as soon as they hit the stairs.

"I'm not a kid." Claire pronounced in a huff as she slumped down in the desk chair in Alex's room.

"None of us are, but sometimes we gotta let the old ones just be old together. Makes 'em think that they are special or something." Alex plopped down onto the edge of her bed and started shoveling big spoonfuls of chowder into her mouth. "Eat up. Jody's chowder is awesome." She glanced over at Kevin then. He was hovering in the doorframe trying to look casual. "You gonna come in, or are you going to just hang there all creeperish?"

"I was going for more, mysterious phantom, but creeperish will have to do I guess." He walked into the room with a smirk. There was a large picture window on one wall in Alex's room. It overlooked the front of the house with the vehicles and the road out. The sill was wider than most. Claire had seen Alex sitting their often when she would pass the room on her way to the bathroom. Kevin popped up onto it now and pulled his long legs up after him. He settled the bowl of chowder on his upraised knees and began contentedly eating as if he was the only one in the room.

"So, make yourself at home, I guess." Alex tossed off with disdain.

He looked back at her, "What? You basically told me to come in. You always like this or am I just special?"

"Don't mind Alex, she's always like this, but beneath her rough exterior beats a heart of gold." Claire made a face at her with that, a scrunching up of her lips to her nose coupled with a squint. "I'm Claire, by the way, since no one bothered to introduce any of us." Claire ate another bite of the chowder and twisted the spoon in her mouth to get at it all.

"Ah, Claire. You do care." She tossed a balled up pair of socks at her, but Claire reached up and caught them, before they hit her square in the forehead. "Nice reflexes."

"Nice aim." She went back to eating. " I didn't realize how hungry I was. Were we gone long? "

"Just a couple of days." Claire nearly choked on a mouthful. Alex laughed. "It's so easy to screw with you, Claire. It was about four hours."

Claire watched her face this time to be sure of the accuracy of the current statement. "Still longer than I thought."

"So, you're like the bird whisperer or something?" Kevin scraped at the side of his empty bowl, looking for a bit more chowder.

"So, you're like dead or something?" Claire countered.

"Fair enough." He smiled, and in a thoroughly fake British accent he added, "I'm not dead yet."

Alex and Claire just stared at him like he was the most unusual thing that they had encountered, and they had encountered plenty of strange things.

"What, you don't like Monty Python? Seriously, The Holy Grail should be taught in schools. I mean what are they even teaching you kids anymore?" Kevin ended his rant with a grin.

"Well, Claire here is a drop out, and I just smoke weed under the bleachers all day, so I guess we missed the lecture on Grails and bad accents." Alex got up and walked over to Claire. "I'll take the bowls down, do a little recon." She reached out, and Claire handed her the bowl. She moved to Kevin next and he passed his too.

"Careful with the third step. It creaks," Claire said as Alex got to the door.

"Of course. You act like I'm new to this." Her smile basically declaring that she has been sneaking around since forever. She closed the door behind her, leaving Claire and Kevin alone in awkward silence.

"So, uh, you're Castiel's vessel?" Kevin kicked his legs over to the side of the window sill so that his back was to the window.

"Currently, I am nobody's vessel. It's just me in here." She watched his movements taking in the way that his fingers curled around the edge of the sill. His legs were still, and the muscles in them seemed to be tense beneath the tight fitting jeans that he wore. His face was dark, as if he had benefitted from some time in the sun. "So, how'd you go about obtaining your vessel?"

"Well, Frederick Bernard Farmingham Colt the third here was pretty much ready to check out." He paused a moment and tipped his head to the side as if listening to something in the distance. "Uh, he asked that I tell you to please call him Freddy. He hates when I use all of his names. I usually have to remind him that he has like three more or so that I usually forget. Then he proceeds to give me more names than my mom decided was absolutely necessary like piece of shit asshole if he is in a good mood." He laughed for a moment.

"Uh, something funny?" She was starting to think that Kevin might be insane, but he was at least listening to voices in his head that were actually there.

"He's not in the best mood. I got a couple of new names. Because I don't know you so well yet, I'll keep them to myself. I mean if Freddy wants to share them with you, he's more than welcome." Kevin popped off the window sill and walked over to the bed where he tossed himself down in a heap.

"So, you said that Freddy was ready to check out. What did you mean by that?" Claire swiveled back and forth in the office chair never taking her eyes off of the boy on the bed.

"It's just like it sounds. Not my story to tell. Freddy took a bunch of pills, and I took over Freddy. It was serendipitous. I make him happier, which is funny considering the fact that I am a dead guy, and he kinda wanted to be a dead guy. Life's funny like that." He tipped his head to the side again as if he was listening again.

"If he didn't want to live before, why would sharing a body with you make him change his mind?" Claire wondered out loud.

"Fine." Kevin reached back to Alex's nightstand and set his hand on her lamp. The boy's body shuddered a bit, and then he sat up.

"Hello, I'm Freddy." And although his appearance did not change one bit, there was something different about him that Claire could discern, something maybe in the way that he sounded and how he seemed a touch more stiff.

"Hello, Freddy."

"So you wanted to know why I changed my mind?" She nodded at him but stayed silent. "Well, before I didn't matter to anyone. Now, if I die, I will make his life more difficult. He'll have to go back to fluttering around without a body." He laughed, and it was more light than the deeper tone used by Kevin. "He said that he did not flutter, that there was no fluttering. I believe that there was. Regardless, I was at a low point then. We've all had moments like that where the world is not our friend, and Kevin came along then. He made things matter. I was not doing a damn thing that mattered to a damn soul. I was taking classes at my community college, sure, but I had no plans. I worked at a movie theater, which was cool, not gonna lie. I lived in my mom's basement. She was so done with me. She and her new husband, Carl had a kid on the way. I use to party a lot on the weekends. Got a little wasted, and I decided to drive home like that. I hit a big ass tree. I lived. My friend that was riding with me didn't. I served some time, and when I got out, I decided that I needed to do a lot more penance."

"What did you do?" Claire kept her voice low so as not to sound too invasive.

"What you'd expect. I took a pile of sleeping pills. Someone found me though, before the pills could work their magic. I ended up in the hospital and later in a psych facility. Mrs. Tran was a volunteer there. I didn't know it at the time, but she and Kevin were looking for a suitable crazy guy to possess. I didn't fit the bill, but we became friends. She liked me, and she wanted to help me."

Claire said, "I can't imagine that woman liking anyone."

Freddy laughed, "Kevin wants me to remind you that you are talking about his mother, who is a saint."

"So, you can hear him even when he isn't possessing you?" She glanced around the room as if looking for Kevin hovering in the corners.

"Yeah, he and I have a bit of a connection now that seems to go beyond the possession bit. It might be that he is a strong willed little shit where I'm concerned or something. Either way, I can hear him even when I am in the driver's seat."

"Why'd you hit the light?" Claire flicked a glance at the lamp on the nightstand.

"It's iron. It repels spirits." He stretched out his arms over his head and tucked them under one of Alex's pillows as he pulled it over to his head. "So, what else do you want to know?"

"How'd you convince them that you were crazy enough for this gig?" She waved her hand about over him a little.

"Linda had picked out a guy that was in a rather dire state, practically a vegetable. Kevin popped in and couldn't do a damn thing. I realized then that they needed someone like me. Of course this was after months of us getting to know each other. I mean the first couple of weeks were spent with me thinking that Linda was crazy with all of her ghost boy talk. Long story short, they inevitably accepted that I was right for them and that without this bit of purpose in my life, I would just go back to plan A."

Claire looked at him steadily, "Killing yourself?"

"Yeah. I shouldn't get to live a longer life than Stan." He saw her look and added, "He was the friend that I killed." He looked away from her and said, "So, if I can give Kevin a longer life, by just letting my body live, then maybe I am doing a good thing. Lord knows I wasn't going to be using this body for anything anyway."

Claire had nothing to say about that. It was rather depressing and it made her hope that Alex would come back to lighten the mood. Oh, the irony. As if on cue, Alex popped her head back through the door. "Hey, there. Got caught. Damn seventh stair ratted me out." She came in and scowled at Freddy, who she likely thought was Kevin.

"Hey, Alex. Meet Freddy." Claire waved a hand at them both.

"You the body?" Alex shoved him aside and sat at the head of the bed. Freddy moved a fraction of an inch over as she dug a knee into him.

"Yep." He didn't say anything more. "I think I'll let Kevin take over again. It was nice talking with you, Claire."

"Maybe next time I won't be so intrusive." She threw him a smile. He smiled back and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, Claire could tell that it was Kevin.

Alex gave him a kick and said, "Move over, ghost boy."

Kevin tipped his head back and smiled at her. "Anyone ever tell you that you have the sweetest bedside manner?"

"On the daily." She smirked back. She looked up at Claire then. "So, I caught that they are worried about the birds or something. They were commenting on how odd it was that you could understand them. Then I had to go and move down to the stupid seventh step."

"We should figure out how to fix it. Maybe some WD-40 or something." Claire felt a yawn coming on and she stretched through it.

"Yeah, well, a little late now. Any thoughts on why you can commune with the birdies, Claire?" Alex pulled up her knees into a hug, and Kevin sat up at the end of the bed.

"No, I just can." She glanced at the window, at the light that covered them in its protective layers.

"Maybe it is because you are an angel vessel. I mean, you aren't exactly ordinary." Kevin offered up.

"Nah, she's way ordinary." Alex grinned with the pronouncement. Claire tossed a stuffed animal at her.

"Maybe," Claire said to Kevin. "I should call Castiel and see what he thinks. I need to call him for other stuff anyway."

"Why not just do the prayer thing?" Alex asked.

"I have stuff that I want to discuss that should be said out loud. I feel like sometimes the whole prayer thing has a different purpose to it. It's like reading thoughts. You can write them off as fleeting things instead of believing that they matter."

"Hmm, if you say so. You're the expert." Alex looked at her for a moment before adding, "You look beat. Maybe you should get in a few hours of sleep."

Claire stood up. "I feel beat. Wake me up if anything happens though."

"Will do. Also, I should go over your henna later." Alex gave a nod that was supposed to indicate Claire's back. She understood and moved to the door.

"Well, goodnight or whatever this is." She looked down at Kevin then back at Alex. "Try not to kill each other while I'm gone."

"Tell her. I'm all zen." Kevin smiled at her.

"I'll do my best, no promises." Alex waved at her. The door closed and Claire made her way to her room. The weight of the days pressing more and more on her shoulders. She barely stayed conscious long enough to kick off her shoes after face planting on her bed. Her thoughts became dreams, became her parents, became Castiel as she drifted from her world into what must have been sleep.


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AN: Thank you for reading and commenting. Hope this chapter was not too long. I think I got a little too invested in certain things. Let me know if it worked for ya.