Author's Note: Oh. My. God. How did this story get past Five.Freaking. Hundred. reads?! Thank you so much!
To you popular and amazing writers reading this, 600 reads may not be much for you, but to me, it's more than I ever imagined when I started writing.
Again, thank you so much! You readers are truly wonderful!
Edward's POV
The escort came in, exclaiming that I had to get ready for the Interviews.
Great. Lauren would be ecstatic to see me again.
But first comes the practicing with a mentor for the Interviews. Woof stared at me and asked me some questions. I answered with as much charm and smiles I could muster. That passed by rather quickly. I didn't need the practicing. I was already practiced in the art of charming and lying.
Lauren Mallory came in and I dragged my feet to get ready for the Interviews. I dressed in appropriate clothing, trying not to wince or accidentally kill Lauren when I occasionally caught an inkling of her thoughts as I dressed.
I was ready faster than the usual tribute because I knew what she wanted me to do for the Interview- only that because the other things are sort of inappropriate- before she said it so the preparations went by faster.
So I went to sit down in my room, pretend to read and just relaxed while watching Bella through Mike's eyes as little as possible with the door slightly ajar so I could smell the air wafting in from outside- a habit leftover from the earlier times when I had to be careful of everything I did and make sure I don't seem suspicious in the eyes of authority.
Lauren bustled into my room without knocking- that was very rude indeed. I heard her getting closer and I pretended to be so engrossed in the book that I didn't hear her. She "silently" made her way behind me and waited, peering over her shoulder to see what I was reading. I showed no sign I saw or heard her, on purpose; I needed to figure out if she came in here for an evil or morally wrong intent, like spying on me or trying to figure me out through subtle ways, or if she really came into my room for a serious matter.
She became impatient after a few minutes of staring at the book about photosynthesis or whatever it was talking about and spoke. She isn't all about what she wanted, for once., I thought, surprised. I found out later how wrong I was.
"Who do you want to get out of the arena with you?", she asked from behind me. It shocked me- I didn't expect to hear her say it because I was trying very hard indeed to block out her thoughts, didn't think she was kind enough to help somebody else get out of the arena alive, didn't think she was able to get out of her bubble of daydreams and wants.
"I'm not sure.", I answered neutrally, trying hard to keep the raging curiosity and hope out of my voice. I might find a way to get Bella out of there alive! Hope bloomed in my chest, pushing back the misery.
"I know what you and the mentors and Jacob Black are." How? "So tell me, Edward." She said it it a "seductive" tone. It only made me wince inwardly at her disgusting advances. "Anyone, Edward, anyone. You don't have to if you truly don't want anyone to come out alive-" How could she think that when Bella's coming in here? "- but you can if you do want someone else to come out with you. Though if you and the handsome boy from District 2 follow Jessica's and my plan, you and him would owe both of us."
I knew she was manipulative. I knew she wants me. I knew that if I owed her, she would make me repay in the most gruesome ways imaginable. But I couldn't say no to that offer. Not if it meant getting Bella out of the arena alive and, hopefully, well. I knew, now, that I would do anything for her. She had that kind of effect on me.
So I told Lauren. "B-Isabella Swan." I forgot that I wasn't supposed to know her well enough to know her nickname.
Lauren frowned in disgust. "I was with her during childhood. She wasn't a very good person."
Of course she isn't to you. You are the definition of a perverted, insincere, lying person. Of course she would seem bad to you., I knew I was being impolite but couldn't seem to stop the thought. It was all I could do to not say it to Lauren. Because she would help me with Bella, for my charm or looks, I didn't want to find out. And that's something I don't want to ruin.
And why would she help me so I could get a person she hated out alive? I knew I had to look into her mind. But I couldn't hear anything underneath the storm of daydreams. So, glad for the excuse, I gave up trying to listen to her mind.
"Are you positive?", she asked me again and again.
"Yes!", I responded for the millionth time. I was sure of Bella.
"Fine." Lauren pouted, handing me a medal. "Can you give this back to her anonymously?"
I accepted it and felt my eyebrows raise. "Her father's medal for dying bravely in battle.", I recognized. Adding coldly, "How did you get this?"
She flinched at my cold tone and I mentally slapped myself. How could I be so impolite to someone who was willing to help me?
"I didn't like her very much- she took Jacob Black from me!- so, just two days after he died, I saw her sobbing over it and, to get revenge, I stole it from her." She lowered her head and fiddled with the edge of her shirt but I knew that it was just a show. She wasn't sorry or guilty. She was happy that she hurt Bella. Why would she want to return this if she's happy about stealing it?
I found the answer soon enough. Oh, how much had I gotten her into for stealing that medal! I was part of the reason she was abused and whipped and tortured- because her mother thought she had lost it and that was the only thing they both had left of Charlie Swan so Renee was furious at her for losing it. Sad I had to give it back though I would lose my job if I got caught. And dear Edward would not be helped. And I wouldn't get what I want...
I tried not to visibly shudder. Why do people these days value looks and visual appeal so much?
I returned quickly to what we were talking about and I couldn't contain my glare at her this time.
"I'll take this back to her.", I said stiffly, outraged at her behavior.
Lauren nodded, still pretending, oblivious to the fact I had heard every lying thought that had just gone through that perverted- that was ruse but I couldn't help myself or my disgust- brain of hers. "Please."
"But I don't see how this is relevant to helping Bella."
"I got tired of the medal and if the Peacekeepers search my room or me, they'll find it and I'll be in trouble. And they do that all the time. I've had enough trouble trying to hide this stupid, useless medal."
So returning it wasn't out of the goodness of her heart, but because it was causing her inconveniences.
"That would be part of your favor to me."
Part. I shuddered to think of what else she wants from me but this task, at least, was easy. I slipped the small golden charm into my pocket.
"Thank you.", I said out of courtesy because what she said meant that she would help me. Hopefully. "So... How are we going to get Bella out alive as well?"
She glared at me. "I was getting to that part."
I held back a glare of my own. Doesn't she know manners? Because what she said was very rude indeed.
She told me the plan. I didn't like a lot of the parts because I had to rely mainly on her and her friend, Jessica, and I don't trust her or want to rely on her. But there was no other way.
I nodded my head once. "Thank you."
She smiled cheerfully. "You're welcome!"
That ended our conversation and we acted like we always did. As if the deal was never made and we never talked.
I stated silent but my mind was reeling. Lauren's help didn't make me like her any more than I did before but Bella was going to come out alive! I was happy though suspicious to why Lauren wanted to help us. But I didn't care. Bella was my everything now.
Using the excuse of using the bathroom, I left the room where the escort, Sashya, Cecelia and Woof were talking. I slid the lock into place from the outside and started on my way to accomplish my mission of returning the medal. I sneaked down, through the advanced, silent elevator, to the District 2 floor where Jane, Alec and Jacob almost immediately caught my scent. I could hear that from their thoughts.
Hopefully, they would follow their common senses and think that their was no way I'm here and would doubt themselves before going to investigate.
With vampire speed, I sped to her room, where her scent, sending fire racing down my throat, an uncomfortable heat, was the strongest. I slid into her room, as quietly as possible, wincing when it creaked, and took the medal from my pocket and held on to only the string. I let the medal's chain slip through my fingers and onto her pillow. She was bound to find it when she slept tonight.
I rushed back to my story and room before being ushered to the Interviews backroom.
I wasn't nervous. I didn't need to sway the audience, the Capitol. I had enough weapons in my body alone to murder all the other tributes. I winced at the thought. I didn't want anyone to kill Bella. I didn't want to have even a tiny bit of chance that she could die or get hurt. I didn't want to like her in the first place. But it is done., I told myself.
That girl and boy from District 1 had their thoughts mainly focused on killing strategies and winning the Games, ways to kill Caesar Flickerman for making them talk about things and annoying them to no end- I shake my head in disgust at their thoughts.
I waited and waited and finally, finally, Bella stepped onto the stage. She was red and blushing, stumbling a little as she walked to the chair. A chuckle slipped through my teeth at her nervous expression.
I was right. I still haven't entirely lost my ability to read people. A involuntary smile stretched across my face at this small yet important- to me- victory.
"Isabella Swan!", Caesar Flickerman greeted, smiling widely.
"Um...Hi", she whispered. I doubt the audience even heard that.
"I saw you volunteered for Renesmee!", he announced. He didn't sound very surprised. "Who was she to you?"
Bella seemed to contemplate that for a second. "A neighbor and a sister of my friend."
"I thought that was very noble, even though you didn't know her well! Any regrets?"
"No." Her voice came out flat and fierce, and hard and cold.
"You had the chance to volunteer earlier. Now, you're eighteen and you chose to go in now when you could've stayed out for the rest of your life and live it without recurring nightmares and stress. I don't understand."
She flinched at his words, her face suddenly wild with panic. Looking around and not spotting Jacob, she turned to Mike in the audience.
Mike nodded.
One pretty girl she is., he thought dreamily.I rolled my eyes at that. She is way more than pretty.
Sad she's going into the Games. I couldn't have agreed more.
"M-my mom, she's- she's abusive.", she managed to choke out, stuttering.
"Oh. That's horrible. How long has she been that way?", Caesar asked in a sympathetic tone.
"Two years. Since my dad, Char-", she choked off. Taking a deep breath, she tried again. "Since Charlie died."
The crowd gave a sympathetic sigh in unison.
"Why didn't you leave her or fight back?"
Bella lifted her head. "Because she had a reason. A good reason."
Selfless.
Caesar frowned. "Which is...?"
I perked my ears. It probably had everything to do with Lauren stealing the medal but I needed confirmation. I didn't trust Lauren. There was no telling if she was lying or not.
"That's for me to know and you to guess.", Bella answered quietly.
That was especially rude for her to say. She would never say that.
The buzzer rang and she stood up, giving everybody a curtsy, still managing to look mature and beautiful even though how she does that while curtsying, I have no idea. She quickly joined the others before her, sighing in relief, and I returned to my tuning out.
I glanced at Jacob and it was all I could do to hold in the growl that threatened to slip through my clenched teeth. He was staring at her with drooling, possessive expression and his thoughts were so disrespectful!
It's embarrassing to be be undressed, piece by piece, in anybody's mind, for the love of all that's holy!, I thought to Jacob, knowing he couldn't hear me but couldn't entirely hold them back. I'm sure Bella would feel the same way.
At least Bella doesn't feel the same way he does. I could see that from listening to his thoughts,that were disappointed and with a twinge of bitterness. I can't tell you how much that made me happier, lighter, no longer having to compete with someone else. I was so glad that I actually convinced myself that spending time with her wouldn't be so bad. But...you still put her in danger every minutes you spend with her., I told myself.
After Bella, Jacob stepped up onto the stage. I had to admit, he was sarcastic. Funny. Lively. But he's a werewolf. That meant that he was also immature. Volatile. Dangerous when they lose their temper. And I don't want Bella hanging out with him.
But who am I to dictate who she spends time with? To do so would be cruel and unforgivable.
The tributes in front of me disappeared one by one, all the same as the ones before except Bella of course. She, to me, was the only one who stood out among the rest of her competitors.
Sashya walked on stage, fingering and fidgeting with her dress and looking very nervous. I doubt it would help me, though I wasn't nervous, I didn't want to become nervous, to listen to her thoughts right now.
Soon, she was done talking and I walked on stage, wincing at the bright lights. They didn't hurt my eyes; they might glint off my skin the wrong way and cause suspicion. But why does it matter to them anyway? In their eyes, I'm just another toy, another pawn of their cruel Games, another person that could die in the arena. And if I was to die, there was no point, for them, to puzzle over something as simple and silly as the way light glints off my skin.
Fury thrashed violently under my perfectly composed mask at my depressed thoughts.
"Edward Cullen! What impressed you the most since you came?", Caesar Flickerman asked me when I sat down in the chair.
I contemplated for a moment. There really wasn't much except the technology was a pleasant surprise. Bella was a more-than-pleasant surprise but there are some things I wanted to keep to myself instead of saying on National TV. So I told him the more non-personal one, trying to sound modern and not like a boy who grew up in the 1900's. "The technology and the convenience of everything."
It was obviously not what he expected me to say. Maybe he expected me to say the food since I did come from District 8 and the people there were slightly poor. But I don't eat food and, because of my father's status as a doctor, not poor.
"Yes, yes. Technology and convenience is very evident and useful indeed.", he answered after a slight pause only vampire ears can pick up. "How did you feel during the Reaping when you were chosen?"
Again, my answer was unexpected to him. "I don't know. Scared, I guess, but I knew that I had a chance. The matter was how big." I shrugged. "Then, I realized it didn't matter."
He looked surprise. Genuinely surprised. Well, he should. No one has probably ever said, It doesn't matter if I win or lose. Die or live., in the Games. Stuck-up, arrogant, show-off leech.
Then, Caesar asked me, "Do you have a girlfriend?"
I stiffened visibly, not comfortable with the subject, and shook my head. I hated lying and I knew he was trying to help me, and possibly the girl I like, out right now. But I couldn't help myself.
"Handsome lad like you. There must be some special girl. Come on, what's her name?", he urged.
I could see the women and girls in the audience snap to attention at this question. I laughed at how silly they were inside. It was rude but I couldn't help myself.
I forced myself back to the current conversation and train of thoughts. I couldn't afford to go off track right now.
I didn't want to tell him. I was still a teenager in a way. I didn't want anyone to know my crush, much less the entire country. But I knew I had to say it, at least to help Bella. Bella was a stumbling mess of a Career. If you don't help her or make her attractive, she might not get as many sponsors. I mentally scolded myself for the rudeness of my thoughts and became highly offended by myself for my silent comment.
Bella doesn't need your help. She does just fine on her own., I thought reproachfully.
No, she doesn't, normally. But when she's stuttering and saying incoherent things, shouldn't you help her a bit?
I didn't have a argument against that logic.
I have seen this conversation take place before. Between Peeta Mellark and Caesar Flickerman during his interview though it wouldn't help me right now because Peeta had told everyone who he likes. And I didn't want to. But you have to.
I clenched my teeth against the sigh that threatened to escape my throat and said, "There is this one girl whom I didn't know very well but I really like."
I could hear almost Esme squealing in my ears, Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper's smiles and Alice's panicked expression that she tried desperately to conceal from everyone else. And I could almost feel Rosalie's jealousy. When we had met, she was upset that I didn't take an instant liking to her or her looks like every other man did and she soon got over it because she thought as long as she wasn't lovable by me, nobody is. Now that I've found a woman, she was envious of her. I chuckled to myself inside. And Rose doesn't even know who she is.
I could imagine furious and resigned Ali right now. She had warned me and I hadn't listened to her.
Oh, dear sister, I thought, voice mockingly sweet. Love isn't something you can easily control. You should at least have known that through your relationship with Jasper.
I could just see her glaring at me and saying hotly, "But that's different! Jasper is a vampire and your girl is a human."
Well, beloved sister, not everybody has to be a vampire to be loved by a vampire., I countered in my head.
But everybody does have to be as strong and unbreakable like a vampire to be able to be lover by a vampire., I added to myself mournfully after a pause. I winced to myself. That would be impossible. I would never change her, nor allow somebody else to change her and Jacob Black would never allow it. Unless she suddenly finds out she has werewolf heritage and probably resulting in a sudden hatred towards me- the thought was a wicked knife, especially when it's true- or happens to be some kind of supernatural, unbreakable creature, a relationship between Bella and I would be impossible.
Caesar jerked me out of my invisible conversation with Alice and miserable thoughts. "How long did you know her?", Caesar asked, curious now.
"Actually, I just met her a few days ago-", I answered, casting my gaze downwards at my perfect black shoes in embarrassment. "-and I don't think either of us- at least I wouldn't but she is pretty smart"- I could imagine Rosalie rolling her eyes of my own downgrading- "would be able to get both of us out alive this time."
A groan escaped the majority of the audience.
Some of the thoughts that swirled in my head, Caesar included, was thinking some of these thoughts mournfully,
An even more tragic love story than Katniss' and Peeta's.
I can't believe it! I don't want to have a half-broken couple.
I agree, I thought resignedly.
The boy, he's handsome. I hope it's some girl I can get out of the way easily. Oh...What I would get if I got him.
I halted a shudder.
I wonder who he has his eyes on?
Isabella "Bella" Swan, I wanted to answer to whoever it was.
"What's her name?", Caesar inquired.
I didn't have to answer to just that one person. The entire nation was going to know. I closed my eyes and, if I was human, I would have been blushing a deep red, forced the words out, choking, "Isabella Swan."
An audible gasp of shock sounded from behind me and my eyelids flew open. I didn't need to look to see where that came from. I would recognize that sound of warmth and humanity and beauty and kindness anywhere. A deep, hidden, unknown feeling suddenly filled my chest, like a beautiful flower, a light, pushing back all the misery I had caused myself by puzzling over Bella and I. If she gasped that way, does she like me too? Then, that small candle light was snuffed out by the dark wind of actuality, the flower crushed under the cruel foot of reality. It would be terrible for her if she fell for you. You have already fell for her and you can't change that but if she falls for you, you couldn't want to hurt her by leaving her, you wouldn't change her because Jacob Black wouldn't want you to, and you would hurt her by trying to be in a human-vampire relationship.
The side that longs to be with Bella had no valid arguments. Why would it? Every word the other part had said was based on fact and observation, the information concrete and impossible to argue against, especially when your arguing for something objective.
Jacob Black's not sure about Bella?, I noticed suddenly from the werewolf's thoughts. I never really considered them a thing- I grimaced to hear myself using one of Emmett's slangs- but I knew they were close. I wonder what Bella thinks?, I mused to myself.
Don't waste your time, Edward. You wouldn't hear anything. I chose to ignore the voice and listened anyway. For something. Anything.
But...Nothing. I restrained a frustrated groan at my failure of reading Bella's mind.
A snarling growl emitted from the werewolf a short while after the gasp had left Bella's lips; he was was very jealous- because he didn't like it that a handsome, bloodsucking leech had his eyes on her- and scared- scared because he wasn't sure who Bella would pick if she was forced to choose and the odds weren't in his favor. A chuckle at the similarities between Jacob Black and Rosalie and the little line of the Hunger Games was going to slip through my teeth before it died in the back of my throat because I didn't like who she would most probably choose- data provided by Jacob Black's fuming rant inside his head- either. I was not good for her. Choosing the werewolf would've been better for her. And, now that I thought of it, I knew that the werewolf was more suited to be with her than any other- he wouldn't harm her because he doesn't have the blood lust and he was more capable to protect her than the humans that watch us from the crowds because she's always so clumsy, brave and stubborn to the point of stupidity- for example, liking me and choosing me-, and attracting trouble.
The audience let out a moan of pain for both of us. Anger rose in a tide inside me and I struggled to contain the growl that threatened to rumble in my chest. How could they despair over a tragic love story when they are yearning to watch the Hunger Games, where they force innocents to kill other innocents?
The buzzer rang and I forced a sad smile at everybody and joined my fellow tributes.
Tribute after tribute went after me and the crowd gave their approval and moaned and sighed in the correct moments. The entire time, I felt like I was blushing. The anthem played and everything went black but I could see just as well.
Finally it's over., I rejoiced in my head.
You sound like a elementary student., griped the part of me who was still a gentleman, the part left from growing up in the 1900's.
I don't care., I yelled back in my head, too relieved this pointless thing was over and I could hide from Bella's prying and curious eyes once again.
The lights came back up and people got up to leave. I walked to the room, watching, keeping my eyes on Bella from Jacob's mind as they, chatting, walked to their story. Jealousy is a strong emotion. I had seen it portrayed by actors in plays, described in vivid details in books but never in my entire existence did I ever think I would feel it to such a strong degree as I watched their retreating backs. I could literally feel the jealousy turn my heart green.
Jacob could touch her, be with her, so easily without ever putting her in danger. I could even feel the jealousy towards Carlisle, at his perfect immunization against human blood that I don't have.
I trudged back to my room.
Well. If I can't be with her, then I'll love her from afar.
It feels like I'm being injured- in a way, I am- to do that.
I watched her through Jacob's eyes as he comforted her while she was weeping over the medal, until she jumped up, asking him, "Do you know who left it here?"
A cold feeling settled into my stomach; a warning something I didn't like was going to happen. I tensed. In a way, I was like Arial, the mermaid, who could only sit and watch in the sidelines as the person she saved, or helped, fell in love and thanked the wrong, and lying, person for something they didn't do for her, deeply in love but couldn't do anything about it.
Of course, he had said yes, smiling.
My situation reminded me of a person Emmett was fond of back in the old days. He's name was Jace Herondale and he had once said, "And I'm supposed to sit by while you date boys and fall in love with someone else while I die a little bit more everyday, watching?"
I had never given it much thought but I couldn't have agreed more.
I watched, choked and in pain, feeling like somebody was stabbing my heart again and again, while she hugged him.
Then... he kissed her. I was in my room, watching, unable to speak, when it happened. I couldn't believe my eyes. I thought he knew she didn't have that kind of feeling for him!
Why didn't she push him away?
I didn't know what to do. I just wanted to do something to decrease the pain.
She withdrew after a few seconds, smiling shyly, and ushered him out of the room. I could hear his hurt in his thoughts and I breathed a deep breath of relief and gripped the counter, hearing but not paying attention to the sound of wood snapping under my hands.
Maybe she didn't have the same kind of feeling for him. Maybe she stayed in place to be kind. She's selfless enough to do so.
I snuck into her room again at night, and watched while she slept, unable to help myself even though what happened this afternoon.
What made me happy was that she screamed my name.
You aren't good for her. I tortured myself with that thought the entire time as I watched her.
I couldn't bare it anymore so I went outside, onto the roof, to clear my head of her intoxicating scent that doesn't bother me as much as it did anymore.
I stayed there for I-don't-know how long, just enjoying the peace for the last time before it would all turn to chaos.
I heard her walk up behind me.
"Hi.", someone greeted me. I could recognize that voice anywhere.
I turned my head as small a distance as I can without seeming outright rude and gave a nod in return. I wanted to say turned back around and stared at something in the distance, at the lights of the Districts. I should've felt longing for home but...Where Bella is, that's your home. If I could cry, I would have created a river, a waterfall and have drowned the world in my sorrow. I wanted so much to talk to her, ask her about the kiss and how she liked it, to either permanently confirm or deny what I heard, but I couldn't. I couldn't force my thick throat to utter a single word and she'll ask about my gift and I'll have to explain everything. Then, she'll get angry and never talk to me again. Well, isn't that what you want? To not have a reason to hurt her anymore?
I was too selfish. Yes, I admitted. But I don't want her to hate me.
Ha! She probably already does.
Ow.
I continued staring at this Districts.
"Edward," she suddenly said.
"What?", I snapped, turning to look at her, as was polite. I couldn't bear to look at her or sound nice. Not after what I saw.
"Are you okay?", was all she asked me.
"Yes." That was a terrible, terrible lie but I couldn't giver her more than that or she'll suspect. I turned back around.
Silence filled the air again, and it drowned me in its misery.
"Did you see it?", she asked, abruptly.
I knew exactly what she was talking about but I pretended to be confused; it wasn't hard. I was a very good actor. "See what?"
"Oh. Never mind." she replied.
I wanted to comfort her instead of saying what I wanted said. But I knew I had to lie so not to betray myself and what I saw. Struggling, I made my next words sharp and cold, cutting. "It's rude, you know, to get somebody's attention and then just say 'nothing'. If you have nothing to say, then keep your mouth shut." I winced at my own words.
She left and I flinched at the stinging silence that was left without her steady drumming heartbeat.
I took my departure as soon as I was sure she was gone and wouldn't be able to see me.
I snuck back into her room to watch her once more after she was soundly asleep.
As morning light shone through the windows and illuminated the room, I sighed. The Games were going to began, in the morning, at 10:00 a.m. sharp. I looked at Bella's sleeping form and felt a twist of sorrow and misery under my perfected but entirely and utterly facade of happiness. We had so little time left.
When they threatened to stick the needle with the tracker in me, I panicked. They would surely find out what I am! But Lauren got in front of me and talked the person out of it and I relaxed. I didn't trust Lauren and I couldn't find the root cause of why she wanted to help me besides the obvious but, after that, I found that I was able to trust her a little more.
The hovercraft, much like the airplanes from my time, was very fast and got us to the arena in about 30 minutes.
I was going to think too much so, instead, I focused on Lauren's daydreams and trying not to retch in the process. It worked and I didn't think about Bella or the Games or anything for those minutes.
I dressed when I got there.
Lauren smeared something on my face and I had to stiffen to not slap her hand away.
I stepped into the tube. What I felt, though, was a yearning to be up there, inside of dread. I wanted to see Bella again because none of us could escape. I yearned to be up there even though this time we meet, she would probably try to kill me immediately. I winced. Ouch.
The tube raised me up into the world above. The sunlight glinted in my eyes and I yelped in surprise.
No! I looked down, afraid that my skin was going to start sparkling then and there but my tensed pose abruptly loosened. The clothing was designed well and zero sunlight made it through. But what of my face? It didn't glow. How? I have no idea. In that second, I was so glad for Lauren's help.
The countdown, the canon, the talking, everything, they slipped through my brain without ever stopping and I didn't catch on to a thing.
Jacob's POV
Today was the Interviews.
It really wasn't that much of a problem for me. I mean, I can take care of myself in the arena. Right?
No, not if you have to take care of two., muttered a voice inside my head.
Bella can take care of herself; she might just need a bit of help., I retorted.
You know that it isn't the case in the arena.
I could just imagine the other part of me rolling my eyes. Okay fine. You win.
I sighed as I went to get ready for the Interviews.
Jessica waltzed in, grinning like a maniac, looking way more excited than she should. "Guess what, Jacob?"
"What?", I answered, not bothering to hide my annoyance at her bubbly behavior.
"Two- or three- can come out of the arena!" She responded, squealing.
I rolled my eyes. "All of us are going to come out of the arena, just in a different state, physically or emotionally."
She gave a short laugh. "I meant, ALIVE!"
My eyes flew off my forehead- not literally, of course- but I was shocked and slightly amused. Bella or I wasn't going to die! Please let this not be a trick. I really hope it would work. I turned around and stared at her. "Is that true?"
"Of course!", she replied, throwing her hands up in the air, knocking down so bottles of stuff in the process, I may add, like an excited child.
"If you would trust me, I can get you guys out alive." She quickly told me the plan and I nodded, didn't need to think twice about agreeing.
"Edward Cullen's coming along though.", she warned suddenly.
"What?!", I yelled. I immediately started to backtrack. There was no way in the world am I doing something, anything, with a leech. "No...Just...Can I not do this anymore?""
Jessica glanced at me reproachfully. "It's either that or nothing."
I want nothing to do with the bloodsucker. Bella's more important than rivalry!
Sometimes I really really hate logic. "Fine."
"Yay!" She rejoiced, clapping her hands like a child.
I rolled my eyes at her behavior.
I was soon in the back room of the Interviews, waiting for me turn. Bella went first.
"Isabella Swan!", Caesar Flickerman greeted her, smiling cheekily.
"Um...Hi", she whispered.
"I saw you volunteered for Renesmee!", Caesar announced, which surprised no one. "Who was she to you?"
Bella seemed to think about that for a second. Who was Renesmee to her? She never told me. I watched her face carefully. Not a muscle budged in her stiffly smiling face. "A neighbor and a sister of my friend."
"I thought that was very noble, even though you didn't know her well! Any regrets?" I rolled my eyes. The truth doesn't exactly noble though I do think that volunteering was brave for her.
"No."
I stared at her. That was impossible. Everybody had them when they entered the Games. Even the Careers. I knew that well enough from my super-expression-reader-powered father.
"You had the chance to volunteer earlier. Now, you're eighteen and you chose to go in now when you could've stayed out for the rest of your life and live it without recurring nightmares and stress. I don't understand."
She flinched at his words, her face suddenly wild with panic. Looking around and searching for somebody she couldn't find- who is?-, she turned to Mike in the audience.
Mike nodded.
"M-my mom, she's- she's abusive.", she managed to choke out, stuttering.
What?! She would tell the entire nation and wouldn't tell me? Betrayal stung deep and painful and I bit my tongue to keep from making a sound, either surprised or betrayed.
"Oh. That's horrible."
You have no idea how horrible it is, I thought scathingly, betrayal forgotten, not being able to believe that all these vain bubbly cold things can only say, that's horrible. Images filled my head and I winced. No idea what the parents could do to their children in District 2 if they wanted to.
"How long has she been that way?", Caesar asked in a sympathetic tone.
"Two years. Since my dad, Char-", she choked off. I didn't realize if her Taking a deep breath, she tried again. "Since Charlie died."
The crowd gave a sympathetic sigh in unison. I had to bite my tongue again and it started bleeding. Who cares? Except the bloodsucker and he wouldn't want your blood.
"Why didn't you leave her or fight back?"
That was a very good question. I don't know either.
Bella lifted her head, looking more confident and haughty. "Because she had a reason. A good reason."
Caesar frowned, thinking the same thing as I. "Which is...?"
I perked my ears.
"That's for me to know and you to guess.", Bella answered quietly.
My eyes widened. She would never say that.
The buzzer rang and she stood up, giving everybody a curtsy. She quickly joined the others before her, sighing in relief, and I returned to my tuning out.
I began to undress her in my mind, trying to imagine what she looks like underneath...
I had to go next so I stepped up onto the stage.
I just said things off the top of my head, knowing Jessica would get me out of there alive with Bella and the bloodsucker out anyway. Who cares what crap I say anyway?
It was the leech's turn. I payed attention to see him fail. Hopefully.
"Edward Cullen! What impressed you the most since you came?", Caesar Flickerman asked him when he sat down in the chair.
"The technology and the convenience of everything."
I didn't expected him to say that and I could feel my eyebrows raising on my forehead. He was a lowly District 8. I thought all he wanted in life was a full stomach with his family also having full stomachs.
"Yes, yes. Technology and convenience is very evident and useful indeed.", Caesar answered after a slight pause I could barely pick up. "How did you feel during the Reaping when you were chosen?"
Again, his answer was unexpected. "I don't know. Scared, I guess, but I knew that I had a chance. The matter was how big." I shrugged. "Then, I realized it didn't matter."
What the...? Caesar looked surprise. Genuinely surprised. We probably had similar expressions. No one has probably ever said something so arrogant before. I hissed. Stuck-up, arrogant, show-off leech.
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
He stiffened visibly, not comfortable with the subject, and shook his head.
I stifled a laugh. He sounds like a player. Ooh. This would be interesting to watch.
"Handsome lad like you. There must be some special girl. Come on, what's her name?", he urged.
I rolled my eyes. Can this be over already?
I felt like laughing. I have seen this conversation take place before. Between Peeta Mellark and Caesar Flickerman during his interview. They were entertaining though why would Caesar repeat the same questions?
"There is this one girl whom I didn't know very well but I really like."
Ho ho ho. The bloodsucker's cheating on somebody. I could just imagine the sad stone face of another one in District 8.
"How long did you know her?", Caesar asked.
A single night. I wanted to scream at the crowd, to tell them he's lying.
"Actually, I just met her a few days ago-", he replied, looking at his royal black shoes, as if they could save him. Right. "-and I don't think either of us- at least I wouldn't but she is pretty smart would be able to get both of us out alive this time."
A groan escaped the majority of the audience.
How I hate the drama the Capitol makes for themselves.
"What's her name?", Caesar inquired.
I smirked. Let's hear his embarrassing confession.
"Isabella Swan."
An audible gasp of shock sounded from besides me and I turn to see Bella staring at him, dumbstruck.
What? Please no. No, no, no no! I already noticed...If he said that, would she...? I didn't want to continue that thought.
A snarling growl slipped through my mouth, uncontrollable, as I recovered from my shock. Jealousy thrashed fiercely inside, behind my cold, expressionless eyes and uncaring set of shoulders. I didn't like it that a handsome, bloodsucking leech had his eyes on her.
Fear mingled with the jealousy ran through my like an electric current. Who would Bella would choose if it came down to it? I didn't like the more likely answer.
Why aren't the odds ever in my favor?, I complained.
I was forced back to my previous chain of thoughts. Who would she choose? Only one name ran through my head as I looked at Bella and the past few days: Edward, Edward, Edward. If it was possible, steam might've been coming out of my ears and fire burning in my eyes. After all I've told her about how dangerous they are, everything, she would choose the leech? A back-stabbing, lying leech? I couldn't contain my fury at Bella or Edward, even though it probably wasn't her fault- I couldn't bring myself to care- but it was totally his fault.
The audience let out a moan of pain for both of us. Anger rose in a tide inside me and I struggled to control it. Dramatic idiots.
The buzzer rang and he gave a sad smile to the tributes. The end of the Interviews gave me something normal to hold onto, so my mind won't go full-on rage. I rolled my eyes as I slowly calmed down, knowing there was nothing to do. So much pretending.
When Bella realized that she found her father's medal under her pillow, she started crying. As expected.
I sat with her the entire time but couldn't help but think. Does she actually enjoy my presence or does she yearn for Edward's more? I didn't want to think about it.
When she asked me if I knew who left it there, I wanted to confirm my suspicions. "Yes." I answered.
Surprisingly, she swallowed the lie and thanked me.
I needed to know. Now.
I kissed her. The feeling of her warm lips against mine was even better than I ever imagined. I wished she would move but she just stood there, stony, cold, unfeeling, emotionless.
Ouch, was the only thought I could think of.
It confirmed my every suspicion of the Bella and Edward thing. I wanted to kill the bloodsucker but, now that I know what I do, it would break her and I wouldn't want that.
I was ushered out the door, not that I wanted to stay, not after what happened.
I slept that night, with a black hole in my chest that swallow the thoughts of even the Games tomorrow. Full of sorrow and dragging me apart slowly by heartbreak, it was a painful night.
The next morning, I ate and I dressed, trying hard not to think about yesterday. Bella hadn't met my eyes the entire morning though I wasn't sure if it was just me or was she too nervous to talk to anyone. I was supposed to be given a tracker so they could track my every move in the arena, therefore preventing my escape and Jessica managed to convince the woman not to.
I stepped into the tube. Normally, I would've been a wilting flower, sad, sorrowful, fearful. But with what Jessica could give us, it all disappeared and left me relaxed. Well...as relaxed as I could be after the horribly concealed, un-subtle rejection yesterday.
All the while, I was listening, thinking, pondering.
Why would Jessica help me?
Would the plan work?
What will happen in the arena?
What will become of me and Bella?
What about the leech?
What will happen in the arena?
How will the Volturi deal with Bella, after she found out what she did? I didn't want to think about that.
What will happen in the arena? Why would Jessica help me? Would the plan work? These thoughts occurred more than I'd liked, especially when I couldn't find direct answers.
I groaned. The more I tried to think, the more questions were raised until my head was spinning with them. The questions clogged my thinking, made it sluggish. I sighed and leaned back. I hate this.
When I arrived, I dressed and got in the tube. As I was sent up, I couldn't stop thinking about everything.
I couldn't stop watching Bella either, measuring her reactions, everything.
The canon rang and we were free to do what we had to do. Kill.
Bella'sPOV
There really wasn't much to do except prepare for the Interviews by dressing up. I couldn't help myself as I bit on my lower lip more times then I could count, with enough pressure to draw blood but stopping before it did. You don't want to show up on national television with a bleeding lip., I mentally scolded myself every time I caught myself biting my lip.
Mike dressed me up in some super girly silk green dress and put some makeup on. I had to say, despite the fact that Newton kept on staring at me, the dress fit me, hugging my body in the right places and making me look graceful and lithe and beautiful.
Jane and Alec didn't give me a second look- which I expected- though I really would've liked to have some advice.
So I waited and waited, biting my lip.
James and Victoria was looking as handsome or beautiful as ever, making the audience coo and swoon over their deceitful looks and pretty, little, silver lies, and I felt a sudden anger twist my features into a glare and a writhing hatred in my heart that burns and thrashed, begging to be known to the world. They were killers, trained and ready. They didn't need to sway the crowd, didn't need this show, didn't need to take the only advantage the other tributes have away from them. But I couldn't do anything about it except watch helplessly from the sidelines. It made me so restless and the scenes and falsities so unbearable that I felt faintly nauseated; I hated seeing something I disliked but couldn't do anything to stop it.
I didn't know where my sudden hostility, and enmity for the other two of who am I- a Career- came from. In truth, I was being a hypocrite. If I loathed them for what they do, aren't I loathing myself too?
Charlie's voice whispered in my ears again, You'll save many more lives than you will take, Bella. You are kind-hearted.
I didn't think I would do what they could and would do without a second thought but I was still raised the same way as they were...to be a executioner.
Quickly- exactly 3 minutes- after James had strolled over to the stands behind the two Interview chairs, I was called, jerking me out of my thoughts.
Mike clapped me on the back and told me to go. My mouth went dry and I could feel my cheeks already heating up. I couldn't see clearly as I settled down on the chair.
"Isabella Swan!", Caesar Flickerman greeted me, smiling widely.
"Um...Hi", I whispered, trying to make my voice louder. My throat was choked with cotton balls, my mouth as dry as a desert. Sweat beaded over my body as I glanced at the audience, waiting for me to finish so they could judge.
"I saw you volunteered for Renesmee!", he announced. He didn't sound very surprised, because it was normal for a Career to volunteer. He always tries to make it sound noble though it was selfish to the core. "Who was she to you?"
Who is she to me? I decided to tell the truth that everybody knows, back home. Hoping I don't sound like a strangled animal, I muttered, "A neighbor and a sister of my friend."
"I thought that was very noble, even though you didn't know her well! Any regrets?"
"No." My voice was a little bit louder than before. I did have them, a lot of them. I just didn't want him to know. And there wasn't just regret. Needling me at the back of my mind, I heard, Not all regrets. You wouldn't have met Edward if you didn't volunteer. And you also got away from your mother, didn't you?
"You had the chance to volunteer earlier in your life. Now, you're eighteen and you chose to go in now when you could've stayed out for the rest of your life and live it without reoccurring nightmares and stress. I don't understand."
I flinched at his words. Yes, I could've stayed and face my mom. I just chose not to. What was I going to say? I didn't want to tell them about Mom, make them think I'm weak! But he needed an answer and I couldn't lie because I'm a horrible liar; it sent me into full-blown panic. I looked around me, trying to find somebody, anybody, who would help me with this. I couldn't spot Jacob, who still hid behind the curtains of the backroom, so I turned to Mike in the audience.
Mike gave me a minute nod, as if to say, Tell them the truth.
I stared at him but I was out of options. Taking a deep breath, I imagined drawing the words out of me. It won't hurt, Bella. "M-my mom, she's- she's abusive.", I managed to draw out, stuttering horribly.
"Oh. That's horrible. How long has she been that way?", Caesar asked in a sympathetic tone.
"Two years. Since my dad, Char-", I choked off. I couldn't continue. Somebody has put a strangle hold on my neck. I couldn't. Thinking of Charlie brought back all these memories. What would Charlie say? No crying in front of everybody. Chin up. Smile. Say it. Clearly. Taking a deep breath, I tried again. This time, I could utter the entire sentence, around the cotton balls in my throat. "Since Charlie died."
The crowd gave a sympathetic sigh in unison and I felt some tension release in my chest. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.
"Why didn't you leave her or fight back?"
True. Why didn't I? I lifted my head, like the way Charlie would've told me to do. "Because she had a reason. A good reason."
Caesar frowned. "Which is...?"
"That's for me to know and you to guess.", I answered quietly. I know it was rude and wouldn't help me a lot but I couldn't tell them; I was too ashamed to ever even say it to myself, much less an entire nation and the Capitol.
The buzzer rang and I stood up, fervent with relief, giving everybody a curtsy because I just...wanted to. I quickly joined the others, stumbling a little, before me, glad to be out of attention.
Now that I was out of most of the attention, I could listen clearly again.
None of the tributes' conversations were the least bit interesting so I tuned out, staying alert for any sign of Edward. I waited and waited, fidgeting, gaze snapping up every time someone knew walked up onto the stage, fervently hoping it was Edward. I couldn't help it! Nor could I help me disappointment when I realized the new person wasn't Edward until finally, Edward stepped on stage, looking handsome as always in his tuxedo.
I had to fight to keep my resolution in place- to never have anything to do with Edward Cullen again- and it was proving harder than I expected.
"Edward Cullen! What impressed you the most since you came?", Caesar asked warmly, as if he was a friend.
Edward didn't seem to need to think about it or it was too fast for me to catch. "The technology and the convenience of everything."
"Yes, yes. Technology and convenience is very evident and useful indeed.", he answered.
"How did you feel during the Reaping when you were chosen?"
"I don't know. Scared, I guess, but I knew that I had a chance. The matter was how big." He shrugged nonchalantly. "Then, I realized it didn't matter."
I stared at him like he was crazy. Was he crazy? Even if he didn't need the help of the audience, he would blow his family's cover!
"Do you have a girlfriend?", Caesar asked Edward.
He stiffened, seemingly not comfortable with the subject, and shook his head.
I couldn't believe it! He, handsome, hot- that was the first time I admitted it to myself- and gentle Edward Cullen doesn't have a girlfriend?! It confused me, it sent my mind scrambling for answers and coming up with none.
"Handsome lad like you. There must be some special girl. Come on, what's her name?" Caesar seemed to have read my mind. He asked it in the exact same tone I would've used- disbelieve- in almost my exact words.
"There is this one girl whom I didn't know very well but I really like.", he admitted.
I perked to attention, full of hope.
Why can't you just tell the audience? Who was it?, I wondered impatiently.
Oh, I know!, I murmured in my head, sounding like on of those know-it-alls in class. A blonde with statuesque figure and towering height. Or sporting girl with brown hair and a cap? At least, not anyone clumsy. None of these expectations for a girlfriend of his that I came up with I could match. Jealousy turned my heart a dark, dark green. I couldn't help it!
Some part of me scoffed, You actually thought he would like you?
Yes. Yes, I do.
The other part laughed. You might enjoy disappointment.
The hope quelled under that thought.
And have you even thought about what he is? He's a vampire, for god's sake., the other part continued, sneering.
That what makes him interesting., I replied, defensively.
Yeah. Until he kills you.
My eyes widened. He wouldn't.
How do you know?
Because I feel perfectly safe with him. I wasn't lying.
Until I was reminded of my decision. You promised yourself you wouldn't fall in love, remember?
Yes. I wish I didn't though, so I could continue to be in my confused bliss without guilt. But I couldn't.
"How long did you know her?", Caesar asked Edward.
"Actually, I just met her a few days ago-", he answered, looking at his shoes. "-and I don't think either of us- at least I wouldn't but she is pretty smart would be able to get both of us out alive this time."
It might be me, after all!, I rejoiced. But I don't think I'm that smart., I added mournfully.
AND you promised yourself you would save both of you some pain., I warned myself.
Who cares?, I whined, sounding like a child.
"What's her name?", Caesar asked him.
I was just so curious, despite the fact that I am still screaming at myself for doing this and probably breaking my promise, even though the knowledge was probably going to crush me.
"Isabella Swan."
I gasped. Heaven knows I tried, I really did, to keep my promise. I couldn't hold it back anymore. Not when he said that.
He went to his place without ever looking at me again. That hurt.
You can't just say you like someone but then ignore them, can you?
The boy from District 12 was called and interviewed. The national anthem played and the screen went dark.
We returned to our rooms but I could barely pay attention to anything. Time is running out. For me. And for Jacob and my friendship.
I felt eyes on me again though I didn't pay it any mind. It's probably just you going paranoid.
Something metallic clinked under my pillow as I put my head down and I stuck my hand under it, encountering something cool, smooth, metallic and strangely familiar. I pulled it out. Could it be?
It was what I thought it is. I stared at my father's medal in my hands and tears sprang up in my eyes. I had lost it two days after he died and I was heartbroken and truly hated myself. So did Renee. That was part of what led to my abuse anyway. I didn't fight back when she hit, whipped or yelled at me because she had a point; she was correct to a degree. The hole in my heart left by Charlie yawned open like a mouth and, like a black hole, swallowed all thoughts and good feelings, leaving only pain and grief behind.
Jacob sat with me while I cried though I wanted- surprisingly (not)- Edward's company more. I felt so guilty. I didn't even know him that well!
Suddenly, a thought struck me. Who had returned it?
"Jacob," I asked, voice croaky from crying. "Do you know who put this here?"
He hesitated before, answering, "I did!", grinning cheekily.
It wasn't like him to do that and I instantly knew he was lying. But I didn't want to burst his bubble so I agreed and thanked him.
To my immense shock, he suddenly kissed me.
I wanted, so much, to enjoy it but I only felt that it was wrong.
Come on, Bella. He loves you and you love him, right?
Yes, I sighed. But as a brother.
When he pulled away. I opened my mouth but nothing came out; I didn't know what to say. So I just remained silent. Subtlety, smiling shyly, blushing a deep red, I gently pushed him out the door.
I fell asleep restlessly that night, still crying over Charlie. I was astonished I could sleep.
In my dreams, torture, evil, death, pain, grief thrived. I woke up time and time again, blankets twisted around my legs, sweaty, screaming. It wasn't until the third or fourth time I awoke that I realized I was screaming for Edward. Jacob wouldn't like that much., I mused to myself. I couldn't find it in me to care. I like him, he likes me. And that was all it took to make me calm down to sleep again. Eventually the air inside my room became unbearably stuffy and I headed outside.
I met Edward there and he looked away the moment I stepped on.
"Hi.", I addressed him.
He twisted his head a sliver of a fraction and gave a curt nod in return. In that one second, I could see the agony burning in his eyes as he looked at me. Why? Did he...did he see the kiss? It seems to be the only valid explanation but how he saw it, I have no idea.
He turned back around and stared at something in the distance. I wanted so much to talk to him but I knew it wasn't the right time.
When will there be another time to talk to him without one of you trying to kill the other or on guard?, I thought, trying to encourage myself to talk to him.
None, I admitted. But I couldn't talk to him; he didn't seem to want to talk to me.
I stared at his back. He just said that he likes me. And now he's ignoring me. My previous theory seemed most valid to explain such a strange situation but how could he see us?
I wanted to ask him so bad. The words slipped out before I could stop them.
"Edward," I murmured, wanting to start off with light things.
"What?", he snapped, turning to look at me for the first time. The fire was still there.
"Are you okay?", was the only lame question I could come up with to ask him, attempting to ignite conversation.
"Yes." He turned back around.
Silence filled the air again.
"Did you see it?", I inquired, suddenly.
A confused expression covered his face. "See what?"
"Oh. Never mind." I replied, not wanting to lie to him but didn't want to tell him the truth either.
His next words came out sharp and cold. "It's rude, you know, to get somebody's attention and then just say 'nothing'. If you have nothing to say, then keep your mouth shut."
Every word was a cut, and the sentence left me bleeding. I knew better to try again; there wasn't another exchange after that.
After a few minutes of seemingly- to me- awkward silence, I quietly returned to my room, having gotten enough fresh air for my liking.
I couldn't sleep; I couldn't stop thinking about Edward and how he had acted. I wanted to confront him, ask him directly, can he actually read minds or see through floor boards or why was he eavesdropping on us but I couldn't find the courage in me, not even if I reach into the deepest recesses of my mind. If I was honest, I would've said I was afraid of the repeated rejection.
So I lay there in bed, thinking about everything, knowing I probably should get some sleep but couldn't, until the morning light shown through the windows.
The Hunger Games had cast its dark shadows over me. Its shadow may be a joyous and light color for my fellow tributes who enjoyed the activity taken inside- James, Victoria, etc.-, indifferent and neutral white for others- those of them for whom the Games doesn't really matter (Jacob, Edward, etc.) For me, though, and probably many other fellow tributes, its shadow was pitch black and dark, patterned and laced with fear of failure and death, weighed down by heavy dread, until it was like a burden on my shoulders, and dancing- like shadows made by a flickering candle- with a buzzing anxiety. This shadow put a knife of worry and nervousness through my concentration and a searing thought burning repeatedly through my brain- Will I live or die? Only fate would know.
I was so nervous- nervous to the point of sickening nausea-, I could barely eat or look at anybody, butterflies fluttering in my stomach as it clenches. I couldn't think straight either and I almost just stumbled around.
Mike helped me dress in the uniform, hanging the metal around me neck, his hands lingering there, making me want to shiver with disgust.
"Run around, see if the shoes fit."
I nodded, nauseated, and did as I was told. They fit perfect, as far as I can tell.
The moment came for me to step into the tube.
I was tempted to bolt for it at the moment, to make an attempt to save the life- my life- that I so willingly threw away during the Reaping. Still, after a careful survey had let me know that there was no where to run and would probably just die at the hands of the Peacekeepers and shame my family, I stepped into the tube, feeling as if my feet were weighed down by a million tons of lead, those two simple steps seemed to have sapped as much energy as running over two planets, and was sent up into the arena, heart pounding, a large amount of weight on my chest and around my throat.
I rose into the arena and squinted my eyes against the sunlight.
My gaze swept my surroundings. We were in a large clearing with forestry on all sides. The Cornucopia was at the center and, under it, piled weapons and backpacks and sleeping bags and food. I knew I was going have to try to get those. And that meant killing and injuring. The thought made me more sick than I already was.
I could barely register the words as Claudius Templesmith's voice crackled overhead. "May the odds ever in your favor."
I forced down a bitter laugh. No, the odds has neverbeen and will never be in my favor.
Hey. Think positive., I encouraged myself.
I huffed. I'm positive that they will never be in my favor.
I rolled my eyes at it. That joke's about as old as President Aro. And he was pretty old.
My eyes wandered to Edward, who looked relaxed. I was so jealous of what he is, his handsomeness and attractiveness, and his immortality at that moment.
But what Jacob told me made me wonder if I should be jealous.
"10..." My hand clenched around my father's medal around my neck. "9..." Even tighter. "8..." Tight enough for the edge to dig into my skin. "7..." Tight enough to draw blood.
"6..." My stomach clenched harder, making me want to throw up. "5..." More butterflies erupted. "4..." The butterflies multiplied. "3..." Anticipation twisted my stomach and it was so painful that it muddled my head. "2..." My muscles tensed, getting ready for that split second where my life would take a tragic turn. Make a run for it!, screamed every muscle and every speck of logic in me but I held myself still, trembling like a sapling in a hurricane. "1!"
A cannon fired in the distance.
The Games have begun.
Author's Note:
Hi, people!
I finally got this chapter done! Phew! *wipes invisible sweat off brows* I'm so, so, so sorry for the long wait; the chapter turned out to be insanely long and I had tons of schoolwork, projects and tests. I hope the length compensates for the wait!
I know that Caesar said/asked similar things to Edward that he said to Peeta in the first book of the Hunger Games but I couldn't think of anything else to make him ask Edward and isn't Bella and Edward a little like Katniss and Peeta? And I needed a way to make Bella forget her resolution and I thought that was sufficient. I, even though writing is my passion, am not that creative when it comes to dialogue so I'm sorry.
Now that I think of it, wouldn't it be embarrassing to have to admit your crush to the nation and have rumor spreading wild, not in only your school, but in your entire country? Just a random thought.
That kiss at the end of the chapter was not planned but it seemed really needed; it just happened.
I know the POV's are out of order; I usually put them Edward, Bella, and then Jacob but I really liked the cliffhanger at the end of Bella's POV so I switched it around a bit. I hope it is't confusing!
What do you think of the long chapters? Do you think I should break up the chapters so that there's one POV per chapter? It would be shorter. You may think I might update more frequently but I don't think I can; I sometimes go back and change things so I still have to make sure the events of all the POVs correspond before I publish the first one. So what do you think? From now on, shorter or longer chapters? Please let me know through the comments!
The next chapter would be so much better because they have finally, finally, entered the arena. I'm sorry if I bored you to death this chapter! The next one will come faster than this one, hopefully, because it probably won't be as boring for me as before. I finally get to reveal a secret I've been planning all along to you wonderful readers!
And Jace Herondale comes from another great series, maybe not as good as Twilight but still very brilliant, called "The Mortal Instruments". It's famous so some of you may have read it but if you haven't, you should read it.
Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter, dramatic end, cliffhanger! You are truly wonderful and I appreciate every one of you readers, the ones who vote and comment and the silent readers! 'See' you next next week with the next chapter! (I hope you aren't dying from the cliffhanger like I was when one of my favorite book's last chapter ended with a cliffhanger and hasn't been updated.)
