Chapter Nine: To Innocence
Let's get lost in the dark, forget who we were, and resurface as something new.
–Daniel, blindedpoet
About a week and a half had passed since that night at the bar. The night when Hermione and Remus had finally agreed about their feelings for each other. Since that night, Hermione had been in a particularly bright and cheery mood.
Remus was wonderful, even more so now that she was allowed to kiss him. That was the thing that she thought about when laying in bed at night; the fact that she could now kiss him.
It was a strangely childish thing to think about, but she could have cared less. Now they were dating.
Well... sort of.
Hermione and Remus still hadn't talked much about their relationship specifically. They mostly just continued on with their lives normally, except for perhaps a few more intimate gestures mixed in there.
On the morning after their night at the bar, however, they had had a small discussion about it. Remus had said that they ought to take things slowly. Hermione had agreed, for the sake of both of their comfort. Since then, things had been relatively normal.
Except for the fact that Sirius and Lily seemed to be ecstatic at the idea that Remus and Hermione were finally 'together'. There were a lot of waggled eyebrows and suggestive looks from the two, who seemed to think that they had completely facilitated the new relationship.
Remus and Hermione had simply rolled their eyes at their friends and continued on with their business.
It was in that manner, that the week passed by, bringing them into September before they knew it. Hermione and Remus found themselves caught up in work at the store while students flooded Diagon Alley. During these days, Hermione would usually find herself taking lunch break with Remus as he told stories about his Hogwarts days with the other boys.
In the midst of all this activity, Hermione hadn't realized that her birthday had come. It was on a Tuesday night that she came home from work with Remus, to find James, Lily, and Sirius in their apartment with cake, balloons, and even a spelled banner that declared Hermione a negative two years old.
The night had been fun, if not somewhat poignant. While the others sang a loud rendition of Happy Birthday, Hermione came to the full realization that this was her life. She was stuck here, without her memories, twenty or so years in the past, living this life.
But as each of the boys picked her up and twirled her around in a hug, she realized that she didn't mind all too much. It was okay. She had friends, and Remus, and they would help her work through all of the confusion and disarray that she might go through
By Saturday of the next week, it was time for another Order meeting. Hermione had been very curious to attend, especially because a few nights before, there had been a bit of an incident involving James and Sirius being called away for some emergency Order business.
It had been late at night, while Hermione, Sirius, and Remus were hanging out around the apartment. They had listening to the wireless, and talking quietly when James had rushed in, declaring that Dumbledore had called for Sirius and himself.
Hermione and Remus had been especially worried that night, but managed to distract each other with a discussion about Hogwarts: A History (Hermione suspected that Remus had only initiated a discussion about that particular book because he knew it could distract her easily).
After Sirius and James had returned home, they made a clear point that they didn't want to talk about it – at least until the Order meeting the next day.
Thus, it was with anxious thoughts that the group made their way to Headquarters. Hermione smiled at the strange, abandoned train yard. How strange it was that this was the center of the organization leading the fight against Voldemort.
"Ah, boys, you're just in time," Dumbledore said pointedly towards Sirius and James. McGonagall stood behind him, a small smile on her face.
"Hello Professor," Remus and Hermione both chimed, earning a comment from James about how 'adorably cute' they were.
Marlene, Alice, Frank, and Peter were all sitting in the seemingly usual spots, and Hermione found herself sandwiched between Remus and Peter. She threw the discomfort out of her mind, and decided that even if Peter did give her the jitters, he was just a normal guy who she had been decidedly rude to.
After sitting down, she felt Remus' hand slip into hers under the table. It was a small gesture, but one that made an affection spring up from within her chest. He was so gentle and kind and she couldn't get over the way he drew little circles on her palm with the pad of his thumb.
"How are you?" He asked softly, only loud enough for Hermione to hear.
She realized that they had barely had time to talk at all that day what with all the worry over Sirius and James. "Fine," she said, nodding, "And you?"
"I'll be better once we get this meeting over with…" He murmured, looking up to Dumbledore, speaking to the Order members near the head of the table.
Hermione had slowly been realizing how much weight this war carried with her friends. She had seen from the start all of the anxiety and fear that had been pent up within them all, but never really understood where it stemmed from.
She was beginning to understand. This was their life, worrying about Voldemort and what he was up to. Who he was killing and the power he was gaining. They thought about it often enough, and Order meetings were something they all dreaded because of the possibility of bad news.
The poor kids were growing up in all this madness, and in a strange flicker of recollection, Hermione completely understood how they were feeling. She just wanted to get them out of this war. They didn't deserve this, and she wanted to do whatever it took to see all of them through to the end of it. They wouldn't lose themselves to this growing war; she would make sure of it.
Dumbledore began the meeting, talking of events that had happened over the past week, and then turning towards James and Sirius, "Boys, would you like to report on what happened?"
James and Sirius both tensed, looking at each other for just a second before standing up. Hermione glanced over to Lily and noticed that she seemed to know what had happened… maybe James had told her what Sirius had neglected to tell Remus and Hermione.
"Sirius and James are going to report on what happened the other night concerning a rather surprising Death Eater attack."
Remus gave Hermione a worried look as James and Sirius began telling what had happened. They were prompt about it.
"We were a bit late to the scene," James began, his face set in an uncomfortably straight line. "It was a muggle family. We're still not sure why they were significant to the Death Eaters. Could have just been random targeting."
James paused, allowing Sirius to continue. "We were unsuccessful in saving them. The Death Eaters had escaped before we arrived."
It was strange seeing both of them so heartbreakingly serious. They were such young, carefree spirits. Hermione had always though that nothing could bring them down. They were the people to look to in times of weakness.
But this… it was like their innocence had been thrown out the window, as them were thrust into a cold, unforgiving world. It was so terribly unjust.
Her heart also wrenched for this family, the poor Muggles, who never saw it coming. It really did a lot to prove the cruel reality of Voldemort's followers. She wondered how they died… if it was painless…
Remus' hand tightened around hers, and she allowed herself to lean over and rest her head on his shoulder.
There was a long moment of silence all around the room.
Finally, Dumbledore broke it with a few softly spoken words to James and Sirius. Both of the boys sat down quietly.
"After such an dramatic week, I will remind you all that in this war, the most important thing is to stay united. We must stay close to each other, and not forget that there are always friends here." Dumbledore said, his eyes resting on each person around the table as he went. Hermione could swear that he almost smiled upon seeing Remus and herself. A slight blush spread across her cheek as she realized that her head was still propped up against his shoulder.
The meeting ended quietly, and everyone left Headquarters without much to say.
"I feel like something's coming closer," Hermione said, her hand still clasped in Remus' as they made their way to the apparition point outside Headquarters. James and Lily were walking up ahead with the same somber demeanor. Sirius had wandered off with Marlene somewhere…
"Me too," Remus responded.
"How much time do you think we have until it gets really bad?" She asked, pulling her jumper tighter around herself. It was a particularly cold day for September.
"I don't know," he murmured, "But I think we should make the most of the time we have."
They had reached the apparition point, and were now stopped facing each other. The train yard was empty, James and Lily having just disappeared with a loud crack.
"How?"
He shrugged, bringing a hand up to brush some hair out of her face, "try not to think about it when you can. Enjoy the happy moments." He was smiling wryly at her.
Hermione felt her heart lift just a little. She took a small step forward and met her lips with his. It was a sort of blissfully poignant kiss. After a moment, he reached his arms around and pulled her into a hug. She let her head move to the crook of his neck, a small smile on her face.
"Let's get out of here," He finally said, and she felt the turning spin of side-along Apparition.
oOo
Time seemed to pass slowly as the days continued on. Hermione had decided to take Remus' advice and not think about the war unless she had to. It worked rather well when she had something to distract herself with.
Distractions came in the form of wedding planning.
Two days later, Hermione, Lily, Marlene, and Alice all set out to look for wedding dresses. It was a day that they had arranged earlier, in preparation for the wedding that would be coming along rather rapidly.
They ventured out to a small Muggle wedding boutique, which Lily seemed to have picked out with great excitement. The girls entered with Lily in the lead, finding an employee immediately coming to assist them.
"Hello, Miss Evans, I'm Anna and I'll be helping you pick out a dress today," a blonde woman said, extending a hand to shake Lily's.
"Okay," the redhead responded, almost looking overwhelmed by the task ahead of her.
After a moment or so, the girls began filing off to the back of the store, so Lily could try on the dresses that Ana had already picked out for her. Just before Hermione followed, she turned to glance back at the front of the store, where she could see out the windows.
The street outside was narrow, with only a few people passing by. After a second, a man walked by, looking into the shop casually at the last moment.
Hermione gasped audibly, stumbling backwards slightly at the sight of the man's face.
It was him.
The curious tattoo looked exactly the same in broad daylight, spread across the side of his face sharply. His eyes didn't find her, but she had the strangest feeling that he was looking for her.
It was the exact man she had seen only a few weeks earlier when venturing out in muggle London with the others. There was no doubt that it was the same person.
Her mind was sent reeling as she realized the implications of this: either he was following her, or this was an awfully strange coincidence.
But as she watched him move past the window, Hermione had a feeling in her gut that this was not a coincidence, and that this man was not the kind of person she wanted to be alone around.
With a bit of a stumble, Hermione dashed into the back of the store, where Lily was being ushered into a curtained changing room with a large white dress. Alice and Marlene stood just a few feet away, watching Lily. They both seemed almost as excited as her.
Hermione slid over to the two girls, placing herself beside Alice while Marlene fawned over another dress that Lily was set to try on.
"Okay there?" Alice asked, eyeing Hermione curiously
"Um, yeah, I'm fine," she responded, brushing thoughts of the strange man out of her mind.
Alice narrowed her eyes slightly at Hermione, but turned back to comment on the dress Marlene was looking at.
A few moments later, Lily had come out of the changing room wearing the first dress. It was quite large, fanning out around her waist a little too much for Hermione's taste. Lily seemed to be thinking the same thing as she examined herself in the colossal mirror.
"I think it's a bit too much," the redhead muttered.
"Definitely," Marlene mused.
Hermione nodded in agreement.
"Alice?" Lily looked to the fourth young witch.
"Yeah, maybe it's a bit too much," she replied.
"Alright," Anne swooped in, holding the dress Marlene had just been eyeing, "next one, then."
Lily was ushered back into the changing room.
Hermione watched as a multitude of dresses were sampled, most of which having some fault or being too expensive. By the ninth dress, everyone was just about ready to give up.
"Alright, here it is," Lily exited the changing area, wearing an elegant gown.
Hermione's first thought was that it fit Lily perfectly. The girl had never been very fancy or proper, and most of the dresses had been too elegant. This dress, however, was wonderfully normal. It flowed off of Lily's body and let her fiery hair hang all about.
"I love it," Marlene nearly squealed.
Alice and Hermione both mimicked this sentiment.
Lily nodded in agreement, "I think this will be it."
Anne was standing in the back, smiling broadly, "Wonderful, I think it's a perfect dress for you. Why don't we get you out of it now so we can take care of the purchase."
Lily raised an eyebrow, gliding back into the changing room to get back into her normal clothes.
After the four had taken care of the dress, they began to walk down the Muggle streets, taking their time as they searched for an empty place to disapparate from.
"I suppose I should tell you guys," Marlene began, fiddling with her purse, "well… Sirius and I have been talking, and we think we might move in together."
"What?" Lily turned to her friend, surprise and happiness laced in her grin.
"Yeah, I mean, we've basically been living together since graduation…"
"That's wonderful!" Alice enthused why Lily hugged Marlene.
Hermione smiled and congratulated her friend, but couldn't help but wonder what it would be like without Sirius around their flat. She loved having him around, and he definitely had helped to diffuse a lot of tension during her awkward phase with Remus.
It was good that Sirius was moving in with Marlene, great for their relationship, actually. Everyone in their group of friends knew that the two were perfect for each other.
The only problem was that Hermione would now be living alone with Remus.
Would it be awkward? Just… living together? She sure hoped not. It seemed so much more domestic than their previous arrangement.
But then again, Sirius would surely be coming to the apartment all the time anyways, and with James and Lily just down the hall, it could never be too bad.
In addition, Hermione was smitten with Remus. They had been wonderful friends before any of the romantic business, and she could hopefully enjoy her time alone with him just as well when Sirius was gone.
"I think he'll be moving in this weekend…" Marlene said, smiling softly at the other girls.
She had no reason to fret over living along with Remus. It wouldn't be a terrible inconvenience, and besides, there were much more important things to worry about… like getting her memories back, and that strange man with the tattoo.
Hermione shivered at the thought, once again getting that eerie feeling in her gut.
Something was coming closer.
oOo
AN: Sorry it took me a while, but school started up again, and it's been hard to get back into the groove of things. I'm aiming to have the next chapter out within a week. Maybe you all should leave a review to help cheer me on?
